BEETLE’S SONG GETS STAIND
Today was a big day because Staind was set to perform their rendition of “The
Beetlejuice Song”. Before the band entered the studio, Beet came in wearing leather riding chaps with no underwear.
Gary pointed out that, given Richard’s recent bouts of in-studio nudity, the two seemed to be hung about the same. Howard
talked about the history of “The Beetlejuice Song” and how excited he was to hear it. Last winter, members of
the whack-pack got together to sing “We Are the Whack-Pack,” an inspirational tune sung to the melody of “We
Are the World.” During the sessions, Beet was
asked if he could write his own song. Right on the spot, Beet ripped
off the lyrics that, when placed to music, became “The Beetlejuice Song.” Howard then called Staind and asked
they would do their own rendition of the song.
Lead singer Aaron Lewis said the group had two versions of “The
Beetlejuice Song,” but they only had time to rehearse the acoustic one. After the band played it, Howard was amazed
at how good it sounded. He said he could imagine people actually listening to the song because it was so good. Artie said
it was top-notch turd polishing. Aaron said it took the group only 10 minutes to write the music, and that this was just the
third time they had played the song. Howard said he sometimes reads about musicians who write masterpieces in short periods
of time because the inspiration comes quickly. Staind then performed its current single, “Right Here”, off the
album, “Chapter Five”. Robin loved this song as well, and wondered what it meant. Aaron said
it was a love song about always being there for the person you love. Howard thought the song was actually about how Aaron
felt about his move to satellite.
GETTING HIGH WITH BEET
Before they left, Aaron said how much the band loved the show, and
he gave Howard a Staind plaque in recognition for selling 10 million copies of the album, “Break the Cycle.” Aaron
also apologized for smelling up Howard’s halls. Gary said this was true, and that everything now smelled like pot. The
guys admitted to smoking in the green room before their appearance, and that Beetlejuice got in on the action. Howard wondered
if Beet was so talkative today because he was high. Beet responded by saying that weed with Coke (the drink) in it tastes
better than regular weed. Aaron also mentioned Beet was drinking beer, which Howard thought explained his constant burping
throughout his appearance. Beetlejuice then started making weird noises and talking in a low voice. Howard said he had never
seen Beet like this, and he thought he sounded like Bill Cosby.
