This is something we haven’t done here at Sass before, but it is certainly something that needs to be addressed. I don’t claim by any means to be an expert in parenting, by far I would say I am still learning everyday just exactly what is and what isn’t best of my children. But over the years, I have gotten advice from a great assortment of people. Some of the advice I wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole, some of it, I am grateful for. Just yesterday, I was reminded by a very good friend how rarely we have anything positive on our blog. This is my attempt to bring you something positive, and hopeful something helpful. Please feel free to add your own parenting tips in comments. I would love to hear others views on how best to handle today’s youth.

Number one should be a no brainer. But as most of us have seen recently, it just doesn’t seem to be as deeply imbedded in the minds of parents as it should be.

1) No matter how old your children are, if they are on the computer, you need to be monitoring them to some degree. I am not saying you need to stand over them the entire time they are on the computer, but you do need to be acutely aware of what they are doing, who they may be doing it with. Technology, while a wonderful thing, brings things into your home on a daily basis that are not wonderful and are not acceptable for any child, no matter age, to be looking at.

I am a firm believer that no child needs to have a computer in their private bedroom. That gives them too much room to venture onto a site you would probably find atrocious. If for some reason you do feel the need for your child to have a computer in their room, consider putting a key logger on it, or simply checking the history of their IM conversations and sites visited once a week. And please, don’t come back with I am invading my child’s personal space by ’spying’ on what they are doing on line. I am protecting my children from themselves. While some of you might not agree with that, turn on the news, open a newspaper, those kids dying or trying to die, getting caught in bad situations with adults they met on the Internet. Their parents didn’t believe in invading their privacy either, where did it get them?

2) Never, ever pass up an opportunity to talk to your child. I don’t mean talk AT them, I mean actually talk TO them. Listen. Hear. Process. Remember what life was like for you at that age. Then give them advice IF THEY ASK FOR IT. I have a standing rule with my daughter. She can talk to me about absolutely anything. I will neither judge, condemn, comment, or otherwise butt-in, UNLESS, she is getting involved in something that could cause her irreversible harm. So far, it works for us.

But this actually goes farther then just talking to your kid. When I say don’t pass up the opportunity, I mean while you are driving in the car, ask your kid what new band they like. Ask to hear a song by them. Something I have done with my daughter is to share with her songs I listened to when I was her age. She gets the giggle fits out of hearing New Kids on the Block. (I know, what the hell was I thinking) When you are standing in line at the grocery store, ask your kid who embarrassed themselves last week at school or who did really good in the art contest they had. These things may not seem important to you as a parent, but to your child, it is their world. Ask to be invited into that world. You will never regret it.

3) You never hear someone say on their death bed that they regret spending too much time with their kids. You always hear how they wish they had spent more time with them. If you have a chance to work two hours over time or go home and make bagel pizzas with your child , pick your child ever time. That 50 to 100 bucks you missed in overtime isn’t going to make a bit of difference in the great scheme of things, but that two hours you spent with your child giggling, smiling, having a good time, will make all the difference in the world. Read that extra bed time story, spend that extra 15 minutes at the park, color one more picture in that coloring book. Your child will forever remember those extra 15 minutes, and when times get tough for them, as they always do for everyone, they can look back on that time, and will be strengthened because they know you loved them more then anything else in the world. Even those new pumps or power saw you have been saving for 6 months.

I could go on for days with all the advice I have been given, but for now I will leave you with just three. I do hope you see a bit of wisdom here, and I hope it helps to build a better, safer relationship with your children. Again, please feel free to add more in comments. We will be making another similar post next month, and hopefully you will share something unique about your own parental skills.

Her site can be found right here. This site is done my 3 people and it talks about crime against children. My friend is listed as Payned.