Ten years earlier, I experienced a wonderful conversation to the Lord Jesus Christ. Alone in a home I had fled to for refuge for, behind closed doors and with a troubled heart, I cried three simple words, God help me. At that very moment, I not only felt the sweetness of a personal Presence with me, but also heard a voice call out my name. I dropped to my knees knowing that this was God who cared for me and who had been with me all along awaiting my turning to Him. Although only my name was spoken, in that instant, I also knew that He was pleading with me to pray to Him, something I had not done since childhood. I thought, I dont know how to pray, and yet the long forgotten words of the Lords prayer came back into my memory. I spoke the words and by the time I had finished, I felt a lifting of a confused and disturbing mind leave me. Next, I heard Him whisper, Your life will not be easy, but now you will have Me with you. For the first time in years, I could think straight. For the first time in years, I felt I could go on with my lifethings would be worked out. I knew that there would be almost insurmountable problems to be overcome, and that there would be no easy solutions, but now I had reached God, or rather, He had broken through the terrible walls I had put up around my life and reached me./

Ten very difficult years passed quickly in my life with little outward appearance that my situation had changed, although my choice of lifestyle, and my love and knowledge of Jesus Christ and Christianity grew tremendously. I was still married to an unbeliever who was consistently abusing me physically, sexually, mentally, and emotionally. However, through this time a new aspect was added to our relationship: spiritual abuse. My spouse resisted God in all areas of his life. He began a study in the black magic arts and Nazism. He was an alcoholic and a drug abuser, riding with outlaw bikers, committing crimes, and only employed on occasion. He truly believed that I had been programmed by the church, and stated that I need to be deprogrammed. This became his mission our last year together.

The reader, when appropriate in their situation, can easily apply that which is written, and the writings are no longer private, but prophetic and guiding, becoming the property of everyone who reads, not simply the listening writer. These words were heard and penned with a great human cost, and yet, not the heavenly cost He paid for us at Calvary. He loves you. He suffered for you. He was humiliated for you. He was tortured and died for you. He paid the penalty in full for all of humankinds sins, and yet, He longs to speak of His great love for mankind.

It is still beyond my grasp and understanding as to why. He would condescend to choose me to hear His voice. How very pitiful is my understanding even after I have stood in His Presence and listened to His heart. These messages carried me through many tribulations, trials, and changes in my life that would have been unbearable without Him. Some messages brought me into a new life that I would not have embarked on without His specific guidance through the rhema word./

My prayer is that you may find His words not only comforting and healing, but also challenging you to reach a newness of life in Him. Learn from His love, learn of His desire for your attention, learn of His intense longing for your surrender to His will, and learn of that perfect peace that surpasses all understanding no matter what your circumstances in life entails. He too will alter your life and take you beyond salvation if only you will grant Him Lordship.