I decided to change the title of my Blog from 'I've got Writer's Block', to this.  It has a certain appeal, a more positive approach to why I write at all, apathetic to who is reading, if at all.  Appealing to any audience will lose my credibility to write passionately, and if I lose that, than I might as well put a bullet in my head!

 

All joking aside, I will write to appeal to my needs, or pleasures of saying what I want to say, in a way I find helpful.  As megalomaniacal, or schizophrenic as that may sound, it is actually healthy.  Since no one is reading this anyways, what difference would it make.  But on the off chance someone does, they will at least have the foreknowledge of knowing what to expect.  I love to write, period.  Poorly written prose, incorrect grammar, and punctuation errors abound, but at least I AM WRITING.

 

"So What?" you say.  Well I just needed to say it, because some think or feel that writing is for the 'hoity toity', or for someone with too much time on their hands.  I fall into the latter, but it gives me a reason to work through my past phobias. 

 

I never mastered English.  Starting in the first grade, I struggled with spelling, as all kids do, but I was ridiculed by family (As they do with other things), and made to feel, well, stupid.  This carried on into adulthood, and I finally decided to do something about it.  Now, you're looking at it.  I read books on writing, how to write, give myself permission to write, etc.  I also subscribe to the word-of-the-day, from Dictionary.com, writing the word out on an index card, including the etymology, which helps tremendeously in remembering the definition. 

 

Silly, I know, but for a novice like myself, it helps, and I enjoy it.  I never would have thought that I would enjoy doing this so much!  I wish I had started sooner! 

 

 

 

Catchy title, and I'm borrowing it from an article I read recently, about what Christ's Resurrections means for us.  One thing caught my eye, about what Steve Brown said in the article, and has me asking more.  I quote:

 

"'If in this life only we have hoped in Christ, we are of all people most to be pitied" (1 Corinthians 15:19).

I think I'll die the next time someone says to me, "It's not about you, it's about God." I want to say, "Yeah, I know that, I'm reformed." I'm a Calvinist and all Calvinists know that it's about God...but if it isn't about me, too, it doesn't make much sense and, even if it does make sense, it doesn't matter.

The God of the universe has called us to participate with Him in a grand adventure defined by hope and joy. And the resurrection of Christ is the one place where that happens. It is when the connection is established. Being made in God's image intersects with the reality of being God's child.

Peter wrote, "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead..." (1 Peter 1:3).

Do you remember when the United States defeated the Russian hockey team in the 1980 Olympics? That was a wonderful and surprising event. Herb Brooks, the coach of the U.S. team, just before they went onto the ice, said this: "Gentlemen, you were born to play this game!"

Most religions worship mythical figures or dead founders. The founder of the Christian faith isn't providing fertilizer for flowers. He invites you and me to be in a joyous relationship with Him. He says "Follow me!" And in the following, there is the realization that we were "born to play this game.'"

This is not to say that Steve Brown has found all the answers, or is correct (and he would tell you so), but neither does Rick Warren (author of Purpose Driven Life).

So what is my point?  If my purpose is to serve God, then why does it seem so joyless, like I'm not allowed to enjoy the fruits of the work I do along with God.  Sure, it's all His, but if he called me to be His, wouldn't He want to share that with me? And want me to enjoy it, too?  I get tired of being told, "It's not about you.", until I do something that offends another and then it does become about me. And rightly so.  But if that's the case, then why can't the good I experience, for a short while at least, and especially if I put so much of myself into it, be enjoyed by me?  If I have to endure the bad why can't I appreciate the good?

Having to process what happened to me through my abuse, and the subsequent fallout, it was brought to my attention after years of trying to pinpoint what it was that was bothering me, that I never brought it to God.

Sy Rogers, a very dynamic speaker, and Christian to boot said in his Lessons Learned series, that until we can know beyond a doubt, what happened to us matters to God, we will forever feel hurt and lost.

"Does it matter to you, God, what happened to me?" Has become my clarion call.  My angts is to know if I do belong to Him, and if so, Does it matter what happened?  I need to know He weeps with me and holds me close in His tender arms as any child wants from a parent.  I need to know it matters to Him!