Arrived in Melbourne at the crack of dawn ready to begin a full day of touring the exotic wildlife of the Australian continent…..well, maybe it was more like visiting a wildlife park and then hitting a couple of wineries for lunch and consuming as many glasses of wine and champagne as we could manage in eight hours.

 

But first the tour started…..as every tour in Australia has started….with our guide exclaiming: “How lucky you are….it’s warm today! Sometimes it’s quite cool this time of year, but you managed to be here when it is warm and sunny”. I should mention that every day, so far, in Australia has been not warm, but HOT! In fact the coolest that we have felt on this trip was at Ayer’s Rock in the middle of the desert where the temperature was in the 90’s but where the humidity, at least, was low. Just once, I would like to have the tour start with “You poor unfortunate souls….the temperature is in the high 60’s with a slight breeze”. But I don’t think that’s going to happen.

 

As previously mentioned, the Commonwealth Games are underway in Melbourne and are very popular….meaning that the city is a mess if you are trying to move around in it. Traffic jams, pedestrian jams, taxi cab jams…..anywhere you look there are jams. But still the games are a great event….particularly for the Aussies. Australians are extraordinarily athletic. I think that everyone in Australia under the age of 75 must be a participant in some kind of “Iron-Man” athletic event. You see runners and bike riders everywhere. Gyms run a close second to bars in popularity. As a result the Aussies are a trim, suntanned people and they are kicking everyone’s butt in the Commonwealth Games. India may have a billion people versus 20 million for Australia, but the Aussies take all the medals. But then in a country where everything will either sting you, bite you, poison you, eat you or kick you…..the people do learn to be fast on their feet at an early age.

 

Aussie Cultural Notes:

 

Australia is:

 

The world’s 6th largest country.

 

1st and Last continent to be conquered by sea.

 

Home of the world’s largest living thing: the Great Barrier Reef

 

Home of the world’s largest monolith: Ayer’s Rock

 

 

Of the world’s 10 most poisonous snakes, all 10 are in Australia

 

Sea shells will not just sting you, they may actually attack you: the Cone Shell

 

 

Australia contains:

 

The Taipan – the most poisonous snake in the world

 

The Box Jellyfish – the most poisonous creature in the world

 

Funnel Web Spider – the most poisonous insect in the world

 

The Giant Worms of Gippsland: Megascolides australis – the world’s largest earthworm measuring up to 12 feet in length and up to 6 inches in diameter. – Bill Bryson

 

And let’s not forget the Great White Shark that patrols Australia’s oceans and the salt water crocodile that lurks in the salt marshes and estuaries.

 

“This is a wondrously venomous and toothy country” – Bill Bryson

 

 

But I digress…..I started all this by saying that we visited a wildlife park where I am happy to announce that the animals were quite rational….unlike the tourists…..they stayed in the shade or in their burrows the entire time while we sweated into ever expanding puddles in the bright sunshine. As a result I have many pictures of dark, shaded spaces where, with a little imagination you might come to believe a dingo, kangaroo, wombat or emu could be hiding. Following that rather minor photo op, we drank some very good wine and had a nice lunch at the De Bortoli winery before moving to the Moet and Chandon winery (an Australian outpost of the French company) for a little bubbly and a taste of cheese. Then it was a long drive through the traffic of Melbourne to the ship where we managed to board with a good 15 minutes to spare before the ship departed.

 

Travel Tip: For those of you who would like to visit Melbourne, Australia I would advise coming late in the Australian fall, and not when the Commonwealth Games are being played.