Last evening, after we returned from our creek walk,  I stretched out alone on that large flat rock in the Right Fork of Red Creek, the rock we called Lizard Rock.  I was lying on my side with my left arm for a pillow.  I closed my eyes.  The only sounds I heard were from the cascading water.  I was trying to identify, just by ear, where each sound was coming from.  There were burbles, splashes, and rushes each with distinct tones, but not consistent enough to zero in on the source.  I remember sitting in the Kennedy Center Concert Hall doing the same exercise, eyes closed, trying to pinpoint each instrument in the orchestra as it contributed to the whole symphony.  I had better luck in the Kennedy Center than I did on Lizard Rock trying to compartmentalize nature’s composition.

I stayed on that Rock for about an hour, recovering from Saturday’s day hike.  When I got up, I was still stiff and had given up a lot of my body heat to that rock.  I was actually shivering, so I put on my jacket and wool hat as we fixed dinner.

Dinner!  A story in itself.  The menu was all freeze-dried as usual: Chicken Stew for 2.5 servings, Apple Sauce for four servings and Sierra Coffee Cake for four servings.  Seems right for three hungry hikers.  William was acting as Chief Cook on this trip, Bob was Water Boiler Extraordinaire, and Marie was Gunga Marie, making all the trips to the creek to get water.

William read the directions on the Chicken Stew and encountered evidence that this is a new and improved packaging.  We have cooked this particular brand of Chicken Stew many times over the years of backpacking.  So when the instructions say to add boiling water, that is a familiar task familiar.  When they say gather the top of the bag into the “Oval Closure”, that is new.  When they say Place the bag with its Oval Closure back inside the foil packet to retain warmth, that seems impossible.

The Apple Sauce causes less interest; the directions are the same as always.  Add cold water and mix.  We fix it in a small pot with a lid.  The Chicken Stew is now hot and soaking in its bag with Oval Closure. 

By now, you are probably wondering. “Just what is an Oval Closure?”  It is an oval shaped piece of thin cardboard about an inch by an inch and a half wide with an oval hole in the middle.  We could not figure out why they did not just include a twisty-tie to hold the top of the bag shut.  Nevertheless, we, all being members of the Kuhns family, analyzed the hell out of it.

Then William read the directions on the Sierra Coffee Cake package.  Or rather, he tried to read the directions.  The ink they had used on the foil package did not adhere as well as they had expected.  So, many of the letters and even words were illegible.  But we did figure out that it could be baked or fried, and we could read how much water to add for either cooking method. 

Baking was out of the question since we did not have an oven.  Whenever Bob had fixed Sierra Coffee Cake on prior backpacking trips, he had fried it in small pancakes, but no reason to insult the intelligence of the Chief Cook by telling him the obvious.

Will went digging for the small bottle of liquid margarine that used to grease the pan for breakfast buttermilk pancakes this morning.  Will had used more than half of it cooking them, so we were hoping he would be able to use a little less for the coffee cake and have some left for tomorrow's egg omelets.

At the same time, Bob started mixing the water with the powder in the sierra coffee cake foil packet.  A fork seemed like the best tool to use.  And so, the build up to a climactic moment has been set. 

Marie noticed that the fork tines were in jeopardy of poking through the foil packet.  Since Bob was nearly done mixing the soupy dough anyway, she suggested that Bob close off the top of the foil packet and knead it through the packet.

All ideas are worth testing, so that is what Bob started to do, just as Will found and opened the bottle of liquid margarine.  (Is the point of this story coming anytime soon?)

Suddenly the bottom of the foil packet split open, oozing out onto Bob’s hand.  Marie yelled, “Look out! It’s leaking!”  Will yelled, “Quick, put it in here.”, and reached for the frying pan.  He reached quickly.  He reached quickly with the hand that held the open bottle of liquid margarine.  That launched about a quarter of the bottle’s remaining contents all over our kitchen rocks.

We entered in that most dreaded outdoor experience, we yielded the urge to burst out into uncontrolled laughter at the situation.  We laughed so hard, we could hardly breathe. The laughter was getting in the way of being able to solve the problem.  Nevertheless, Will managed to get some of the margarine into the pan where needed, either by accident or on purpose, it does not matter. 

Bob started emptying the bag’s contents into the frying pan.  It was a thick mixture that needed to be squeezed out of the bag.  The bag was open at both ends, so most went into the frying pan, some onto Bob’s hands.  Tasted finger licking good, thank you.

Marie asked if she could lick the bag and Will began cooking the mix as ONE BIG PANCAKE.  That was not working because the bottom was beginning to burn before the top had even solidified.  So Will began to stir it up and chunk it into globs.  Sounds appetizing, doesn’t it?  Actually, it was, and we had some for dessert and ate the rest the next morning with the omelets.