GREAT MOMENTS IN SOMBILLA
HISTORY (8/07)
It’s been > 10 years since this list was compiled. It is time to update and relook at the Great Moments throughout the years!
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Early June 1979 |
Tsuan calls Arnie with the idea to form a summer Strat-O league. |
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June 1979 |
At the league’s second week of games, Arnie presents the acronym "SOMBILLA" |
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August 1979 |
Just before game #6 of the first World Series won by Tsuan in 6 games over Jed, Arnie says "Some didn't think it would go this far, others said 'it's going seven.' " (You had to be there.) |
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November 1981 |
The draft almost got called off. This was the first winter league and we did the draft on a Friday night after work in my Marlborough St. apartment. Tsuan was sick and couldn't make it, but nobody wanted to reschedule, and we (Jed, Eric, Joel, Lou, [and I] were all ready. I called him: Tsuan's female roommate: "He's sick and throwing up. He
can't come." And so, Joel and Eric drove over to Tsuan's apartment on Beacon Hill, got the cards, returned, and the draft was on. |
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January 1982 |
Don Sutton (Tsuan) no-hits Lou. |
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November 1982 |
Vol. I No. 1 of the SOMBILLA newsletter. |
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Dec. '82 - Jan. '83 |
North Dakota loses 13 straight and 24 of 26. |
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March 1983 |
In her first year in the league, Robin wins the championship, sharing a team with Tsuan. |
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November 1983 |
Joel wins 11 in a row to start the season. |
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November 1984 |
"Tsuan attempts to pull draft coup" becomes the first blasting. |
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November 1984 |
First SOMBILLA study, "The Ralph Houk Rating," which calculated a team’s inability to use its bench. |
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January 1985 |
First known usage of the phrase "2-20 man" by Arnie |
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May 5, 1985 |
|
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October 6, 1985 |
League votes to expand/go to permanent league/elects first Commissioner. |
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Nov. 17, 1985 |
Matt drafts Gary Redus 9th overall in permanent league dispersal draft. |
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December 1985 |
SOMBILLA featured in Strat-o-Matic Review: "Gamer introduces wife to S-O-M baseball on first date" |
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February 1986 |
Arnie accidentally breaks chair at Jed and Joel's after missing game-winning homer. |
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November 1986 |
Jed invents the "dash" technique for recording non-strikeout outs. |
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December 1987 |
Tom Henke pitches 12 innings in relief as last pitcher for Robin in 20-inning, 10-7 win over Future Wax. |
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January 1988 |
Mike Scott (Jed) no-hits Joel. |
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January 1988 |
Eric Davis (a.k.a. Roger Maris) hits 19th homer off Jack Morris (a.k.a Tracy Stallard) to break George Foster's (a.k.a. Babe Ruth's) record. 'There will be an asterisk" declares Commissioner (a.k.a. Ford C. Frick). |
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January 1988 |
League original Joel stuns the league by announcing his resignation, effective at the end of the season. Despite pleas and threats from the league, Joel moves on with his life. |
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March 1988 |
The first World Series game 7 in SOMBILLA history. In the bottom of the 11th, FW’s Andrew has righties E. Davis, McReynolds, Schmidt, and Laudner scheduled up. Either Yitz or Dave: "Should we put in Eichhorn?"
(Historical note - Eichhorn had 0 hit and walk chances vs. righties but
was vulnerable to lefties). Yitz and Dave put in Eichhorn to face Eric Davis. Andrew
pinch-hits Daryl Strawberry for Eric Davis. With Eric listening over
the speakerphone, and me straining to escape to drive Robin's friend,
Bev, to the airport, yet unable to bring myself to do it, Daryl
Strawberry hits a homer off Eichhorn's card. Yitz: "Fuck." |
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July 1988 |
"Tsuan Guruism" coined in summer newsletter |
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November 1988 |
Harold joins the league. He goes 3-17 to begin his SOMBILLA career. |
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December 1988 |
Arnie accidentally breaks chandelier at Jed and Joel's after 9th inning game-winning hit. |
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March 1989 |
Mark McGwire wins triple crown for Matt. |
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December 1989 |
SOMBILLA headline blares: "League uncovers ‘Raines-gate’: Commissioner to be burned at the stake, beheaded, and face firing squad; retains first place" |
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December 1989 |
North Dakota starts the season 20-4 with Yoknapatawpha close behind at 18-6, setting up a big 4-game series in Gackle Park. The Yoks sweep the series, pitching 3 shutouts and holding ND to 2 runs to set the mark for best first half (22-6). |
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January 2, 1990 |
Danny Jackson, Tim Belcher & Randy Myers pitch a combined no-hitter for Harold vs. Future Wax . |
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March 1990 |
Eric finishes the season 44-12. |
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March 1990 |
Eric beats Jed 4 games to 3 in the World Series on Sax's sac fly in bottom of the 11th. Two days later, Eric discovers to his horror an error in playing game 6 (ineligible pinch-hitter), but games are not played over. (There were a few reasons. One of the reasons was that if the games were played over and Jed won, it would be a ‘tainted’ victory. Instead, Eric was left with the ‘tainted’ victory). |
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November 1990 |
Clint joins the league, sharing a team with Dave. |
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February 1992 |
Andrew wins 11 in a row to tie Joel's record. He finishes 12 games ahead of 2nd place Jed to set a record. |
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March 1992 |
League votes to expand to nine teams and give Land his own team. |
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January 1993 |
Clint loses 44 of first 61 games as manager to break North Dakota losing percentage mark. |
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January 1993 |
Commissioner nearly resigns following allegations of bias against Clint. |
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March 1993 |
Eric defeats Dave 9-5 in the 7th game to win the World Series, despite being outscored by his opponents in the regular season. |
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January 1994 |
North Dakota was battling Future Wax for first place and acquired Roger Clemens at the trading deadline from Eric for 2 first round picks (after attempting to acquire him via loan, precipitating the Trading and Loan Scandal). Upon discovery of the Clemens trade, Andrew called Robin, the North Dakota manager's wife, to pursue a trade. At the time of receipt of Andrew's call, Robin had played 38 games, 2 fewer than the trading limit. Two nights before, a scheduled 4-game series with Dave that would have put Robin over the trading deadline was postponed when Dave simply forgot to show up, luckily for Future Wax. Dennis Martinez was Robin's best pitcher that year, and one of the best starters in the league. Robin traded Dennis Martinez (and a 6th round pick) to her husband's nemesis, Andrew, for a second round pick (which became Sean Berry). Martinez went on to win two games against North Dakota in the World Series, including a 2-1, 5-hitter against Saberhagen in a crucial Game 5 showdown. For two years after that, the trading of Martinez to Future Wax and Martinez's World Series success against North Dakota caused a small amount of marital friction. |
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July 1994 |
After losing the World Series to Future Wax in 6 games, North Dakota’s manager plays the teams against each other in a 2,000 game computer simulation, to determine which team was really better, and concludes that Future Wax really was the better team. |
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November 1994 |
Robin, in first place by 2 1/2 games at 20-8, gives birth to Jinny Ryann Pollinger. |
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February 1995 |
Land discovers that he accidentally used Astacio for 2 more innings than allowed for the season during a win over Robin, and the game is decided to be replayed, with Land ahead, from that point in the 7th inning. After all the games are finished, Robin is still 1/2 game ahead of Eric, and the Land game is played over with Astacio replaced by Gott. Land hangs on to win 2-1 and the league has its first one-game playoff ever. Unfortunately for Robin, Frank Thomas was injured in the last series of the season, causing him to miss the playoff game. Eric wins league's first ever one-game playoff (9-2) and goes on to defeat Matt in the World Series in 7 games. |
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March 1995 |
Arnie resigns as Commissioner. Dave elected as the SOMBILLA's second Commissioner. |
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November 1995 |
Randy joins the league. |
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March 1996 |
Game 7 of the North Dakota/New Orleans playoff series ends when, with ND ahead 4-3 in the 9th and NO up with 2 out and 2 runners on, Carlos Garcia hits into a clutch out. |
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March 1996 |
After years of futility, ending with mutilated, burned and/or frozen teams, North Dakota wins its first World Series 4 games to 2 over Future Wax, beating Dennis Martinez in the final game (see January 1994). That night, the North Dakota manager absolved the Bay City manager of all future discussion of the Dennis Martinez incident. |
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February 1997 |
Clint misses the playoffs by one game for the second year in a row. |
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March 1997 |
Dave resigns as Commissioner. Arnie re-elected Commissioner. Matt named league’s first Vice-Commissioner. |
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February 1998 |
Randy beats Eric 29-6, to set the league’s single game run mark. |
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March 1998 |
Robin, Jeff, Brian and Clint are in the first 4-way rolloff for the first pick in the draft. Robin won (and chose Ben Grieve) |
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October 1998 |
Tom joins the league |
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October 1998 |
Carlos Hernandez makes his SOMBILLA debut, five years after he was drafted as a prospect, kept in the 'minors' for 3 years, cut in '96, then redrafted. Finally, after years of 10-hour bus rides, he made it to the big "SOMBILLA show". He came up in the third inning, struck out and was injured for three games. |
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October 1998 |
Harold beats Clint 29-3, the largest wipeout in league history |
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December 1998 |
In Eric's series with Clint, Lieberthal, in his first AB of the game, was HBP and injured. He was replaced by Stanley, who, in his first AB, was HBP and injured. With no catchers remaining, Eric used emergency catcher Robin Ventura, who, in his first AB, struck out and was injured. |
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January 1999 |
Mike Piazza of FW breaks the SOMBILLA single season HR record with his 27th He finishes with 30. |
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January 1999 |
North Dakota wins 11 in a row to tie league record |
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January 1999 |
Randy Johnson fans 20 New Orleans hitters |
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February 1999 |
Mike Piazza wins the triple crown for Future Wax |
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March 1999 |
North Dakota comes back to win final 4 games of playoff series over New Orleans after losing the first 3 games |
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November 1999 |
Randy wins 12 in a row to break the league record |
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November 1999 |
Shithead (with Clint at the helm) loses 11 in a row to tie the league record |
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February 2000 |
Clemens wins his 12th game for ND to set a new league mark |
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February 2000 |
First SOMBILLA ice hockey game with Jeff & Harold defeating Arnie & Matt 3-1. Arnie complained that the choppy conditions negated any potential extra speed, and Matt complained that he had just moved a bunch of furniture the day before, and they both complained about the poor officiating |
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January 2001 |
Matt loses 14 games in a row to break the all-time consecutive loss streak |
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February 2001 |
Manila Folders break the SOMBILLA’s legendary single-season worst record at 10-43 (.189) |
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February 2001 |
E-mail from Arnie: Eric has determined that if Clint wins five against Harold, I drop 2 of 3 to Robin, Eric wins only 4 of 7 against Matt and Jeff, and Randy sweeps Tom, then it's a five-way tie for 2nd place. Holy shit!! I checked the bylaws and they state "If more than 4 teams tie for 1st-4th, we'll play it by ear." We could be headed for a constitutional crisis! E-mail from Matt: It's not a crisis. It's just a reaffirmation that our System works. God bless you all, and God bless the Strat-o-Matic Baseball Ivy League League, Advanced. (<<<Standing Ovation>>>) E-mail from Eric: And God bless the vice commissioner, for without his disaster-by-design season I do believe we would not now look like so many stowaways stuffed inside a steamer trunk. Which only affirms my worst fears, that the Folders will rally round their Shemp-like leader and play the spoiler roll in true Stooge fashion, wherein the season will end in a melee of comedic chaos, and then fade to black abruptly without resolution....... |
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February 2001 |
N. Dakota’s R. Alomar finishes regular season with .411 batting average. |
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March 2001 |
New Orleans comes back to win final 4 games of World Series over Future Wax, after losing the first 2 games, to win first ever championship. |
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October 2001 |
Overheard moments before Tom arrived in
Arlington: |
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October 2001 |
In the FW/MF series, in the 6th inning of the 2nd game, M. Ordonez batting against L. Hernandez, the 20-sided 'thing' split in half during a routine roll. |
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January – March 2002 |
Clint resigns from the league; league debates and finally decides to contract BiGDiG out of existence. |
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January 2002 |
Harold defeats Jeff in the league’s first ever 7-game sweep, hitting 27 homers and outscoring him 79-25. |
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March 2002 |
Future Wax wins World Series game 7, 8-7 against New Orleans with Pedro as the closer, the tying run on base, and Hundley, the winning run, at bat. Hundley grounds out. |
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November 2002 |
Harold walks Barry Bonds intentionally 18 times in a row as Bonds finishes the series 0 for 5 with 4 K's. |
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February 2003 |
ND scores 13 runs in the top of the first vs. Future Wax. In the record-setting first inning, ND recorded 15 hits (3 of them were tired rolls), 2 stolen bases, an error, and 2 homers all off the beleaguered Greg Maddux. A late FW rally fell short by three touchdowns as ND tied the league record for most runs in a game, winning 29-7. ND had a league-record total of 35 hits - Alomar, L. Gonzalez and Klesko had 5 each, while McGriff and Cabrera both chipped in with 4. |
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February 2003 |
A steroid-filled Barry Bonds smacks his 31st homer to break the SOMBILLA’s single season HR record. He finishes with 32. |
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March 2003 |
Jeff sweeps Matt to force a one-game playoff. He drives 75 miles to play one game, then defeats Harold 4-3 in 10 innings. |
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March 2003 |
Area 51 defeats the Wax in 5 games in the World Series for first SOMBILLA championship. |
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December 2003 |
Randy shows up at Tom’s old apartment (which he had moved from a year earlier) to play. After finally making it to Tom’s new house an hour late, their extra-inning filled series ends around 2 AM, with a Tom sweep. |
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January 2004 |
Unbeknownst to Eric, he ties the league record with his 12th win in a row. |
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January 2004 |
Eric’s Derek Lowe no-hits North Dakota. |
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February 2004 |
For the first time in four years, conditions were set for the SOMBILLA hockey showdown – and a rematch. Gametime weather: bright sunshine, 24 degrees and blustery winds. Jeff started the scoring on a nice feed from Harold. But Arnie tied it up, putting on a Gretzky-like move through Jeff's legs. A score off a give and go with Matt appeared to give Matt and I a 2-1 lead, but it was ruled that Matt hadn't cleared the zone and the goal was disallowed (with little complaint). The seriousness of the game was never more evident when Jeff decked Arnie with a vicious elbow near the far boards (other observers would later say Arnie simply smashed into Jeff, who was just standing there, and just fell down). Good passing by Harold and Jeff led to the go-ahead goal, but a pretty pass from Matt led to an easy goal for me and it was tied 2-2. Windchills were around zero, players were tired and sweaty, as all four dug deep after it was announced "next goal wins". Play stayed near the perimeter and close checking and quick reactions reduced scoring chances. Harold had the puck on the left wing. Matt left Harold to cover Jeff, who was heading for the net, at the same time I charged to cover Harold to poke the puck away. Matt and I never saw each other. Time stood still as our two bodies and sticks became intertwined, and with that, our hopes at revenge, 'iced' for four years, crashed to the ice with us. Jeff potted the easy empty-netter and this year's hockey bash was history... |
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February 2004 |
A.J. Burnett wins his 12th game for Eric to tie league record. |
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December 2004 |
Tom begins season 23-5 to break the record for best first half record |
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March 2005 |
Tom wins his first league championship, defeating Future Wax in 6 games. |
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December 2005 |
Matt uses Pedro Feliz, a player not even in the SOMBILLA,
in a series against Tom. Eric summed it up when he
wrote: "Rosey Ruiz strikes again! Matt, you're a genius. I don't think
any punishment is necessary. The mere exposure of the incident is
enough. I stand in awe." |
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January 2006 |
Randy defeats Harold 6-5 in 17 innings. 41 players are used, including 14 pitchers, and there were 5 bunts, including 3 squeeze plays. |
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January 2006 |
Matt loses a record 17 games in a row, then shocks the league by announcing his resignation. |
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March 2006 |
The one-game playoff of 2006. |
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March 2006 |
With the winning run at bat in the 9th inning of Game 7 of the World Series, Tom’s Romero and Dotel strike out MVP Edmonds and Giles to beat Randy for his 2nd consecutive World Series win. |
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November 2006 |
The SOMBILLA’s Internet era gets underway with a rocky start as the Smoltz-gate controversy mars the Knuckle/Constantinople series. |
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December 2006 |
Jed travels over 300 miles to play 20 games in a hotel room in 24 hours, going 14-6 to take over first place. |
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February 2007 |
Randy wins game 56 with a 13th inning HR to clinch 4th place and avoid another one-game playoff with ND. |
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March 2007 |
Tom wins his third consecutive World Series against Randy, including his second consecutive game 7 one-run game. |
________________________________________________________________________________
ALL-TIME
FRANCHISE PLAYERS (8/07)
Who’s your best player in franchise history? I asked each tem to help with this one and received responses from all but Jeff.
North Dakota
Randy Johnson. An integral part of the team’s championship glory years (including one championship year when, due to injury, he was actually a 66-inning reliever). Has made the team virtually every year since 1993.
Constantinople
Alex Rodriguez*. Since 1996, he is either #1 or #2 in all cumulative statistics of note including 168 homeruns, which is almost twice that of the second place Manatee who had 97 homers. The consummate team player, he has been willing to change positions, be a defensive replacement and accept a part time role for an isolated year if that means the team having its best shot at winning a championship. The face of the franchise.
The Human Stains, et al
Well, if I'd kept hold of Clemens I would say he's the all-time franchise player. But since I traded him and still won several titles A.C. (after Clemens), I suppose I should select someone else. That said, since I also don't keep stats anymore, unless I'm competing, it's a hard call. Minus statistical reflection, I may have to elect Rafael Palmeiro as the all-time franchise player, since I had him virtually his whole career (thanks to one of the worst trades I'll wager RAT ever made).
But where would I have been without, say, Lenny Dyskstra, Von Hayes, Dale Murphy, Harold Baines, Orel Hershiser, Dennis Eckersley, even Dave Winfield for a few years? Or Mike Stanley? and what about----Steve Sax? And Mark Clear? (just kidding.) and Rick Sutcliffe? ah, the good old days....so I guess Palmeiro gets the nod, steroids and all.
Manila Folders
Mark McGwire, perhaps the best SOMBILLA season ever, winning the triple crown for the first, and only, time.
A close second would be Gary Redus, for defining the drafting philosophy of the team so well.
Jed
Which franchise? I think players I traded had more impact on the league so I'll go with Mike Piazza.
New Orleans
Mariano Rivera. 10th round pick in '96 draft. 'Nuff said.
Bay City
Pudge Rodriguez. Pretty sure he’s made my team every year since I drafted him, and he probably saved me dozens (hundreds?) of runs with his throwing arm (or, more accurately, the threat of his throwing arm). Honorable mention to 1st BC pick ever, Cal Ripken, Jr.
Future Wax
The most important player in FW franchise history is
Barry Bonds, or __________ on his card. Bonds is a four-time league MVP
(92-93, 94-95, 01-02, 02-03), holds the league records for homeruns
(32), runs (74), OPS (1.465), and SLUG (.994). Since 1997, he has hit
42 post-season home-runs (stats for 01-02 are missing) over 90 play-off
games.
* asshole
SUCCESSFUL LEFTY
STARTERS (8/07)
Harold, on the heels of lefty Dontrelle Willis winning the Cy Young award asked how many lefties have ever won the Cy Young award? What championship teams have had lefties in the rotation?
The first question is easy – only 2 lefty pitchers have ever won the SOMBILLA’s Cy Young award. The first was Fernando Valenzuela for Yitz’s Learned Hands, back in ‘86-87. He finished with an 8-5 record and a 3.05 ERA for the 7th place Hands. And Dontrelle Willis, last year, was the second.
As far as lefties on championship teams goes, see below:
|
Year |
Manager |
Team Name |
Lefties in the rotation |
|
1979 |
Tsuan |
Nazgul |
Waits |
|
1981-1982 |
Tsuan |
Nazgul |
Reuss, Underwood |
|
1982-1983 |
Robin/Tsuan |
Bay City Nazgul |
Valenzuela |
|
1983-1984 |
Jed |
Evil Bunnies |
None |
|
1984-1985 |
Jed |
Shithead |
M. Young |
|
1985-1986 |
Eric |
Marakesh Express |
None |
|
1986-1987 |
Andrew/Tsuan |
Future Wax |
Hesketh |
|
1987-1988 |
Andrew/Tsuan |
Future Wax |
None |
|
1988-1989 |
Eric |
Yoknapatawpha |
None |
|
1989-1990 |
Eric |
Yoknapatawpha |
None |
|
1990-1991 |
Andrew/Tsuan |
Future Wax |
None |
|
1991-1992 |
Andrew/Tsuan |
Future Wax |
Nabholz, Mulholland |
|
1992-1993 |
Eric |
Franz Josef Land |
None |
|
1993-1994 |
Andrew/Tsuan |
Future Wax |
None |
|
1994-1995 |
Eric |
The White Visitation |
Fassero?* |
|
1995-1996 |
Arnie |
North Dakota |
R. Johnson |
|
1996-1997 |
Eric |
Finn's People |
None |
|
1997-1998 |
Randy/Andrew/Tsuan |
Future Wax |
None |
|
1998-1999 |
Arnie |
North Dakota |
R. Johnson |
|
1999-2000 |
Arnie |
North Dakota |
Rosado, D. Wells |
|
2000-2001 |
Harold |
New Orleans |
Leiter |
|
2001-2002 |
Randy/Andrew/Tsuan |
Future Wax |
D. Wells |
|
2002-2003 |
Jeff |
Area 51 |
None |
|
2003-2004 |
Eric |
Gawd B |
None |
|
2004-2005 |
Tom |
Constantinople |
Redman |
|
2005-2006 |
Tom |
Constantinople |
None |
|
2006-2007 |
Tom |
Constantinople |
Sabathia |
* not sure if he spot started.
13 of the 27 champions had no lefty starters. A compelling stat. And looking at the three champions with two lefty starters, Underwood (he of lefty-yanking rule fame), Nabholz, and Rosado were all spot starters, not regulars in the rotation. Meaning that half of all champions had no lefties in the rotation and the other half had one regular.
Presenting the nonannual Cute Ratings by Robin Perlow, guest columnist
To, I’m sure, no one’s surprise, Bay City is the cutest team in the Sombilla, with a whopping 21 cute players, easily topping runner-up A51, who has 14 cuties. Swarzluna has the fewest, with only 8 cute players, but only 9 truly ugly ones, whereas FW has 15 ugly guys (compared to BC, which has only 4 ugly ones—including trade pick-up Kevin Mench). Catcher is probably the least attractive position (I didn’t separate infielders or outfielders by position), with only 5 cute ones out of 29 in the league. MF has 2 of these, so 4 teams (CN, ND, NO, A51) have no cute catchers.
In my exhaustive search to determine the "cutest player in the SOMBILLA" (to replace the cut [and retired] Alex Gonzalez [not the Red Sox one] and the cut Steve Finley—the previous titleholders), there was no clear winner. I am forced to declare a tie amongst Khalil Greene (A51), Mike Cameron (FW), and newcomer J.J. Hardy (MF). My choices are purely subjective; thus, Cleveland heartthrob Grady Sizemore and former 50 Most Beautiful Person Mike Lowell didn’t make the cut. Certain players, including Matt Clement (SW), Nick Swisher (A51), Dan Johnson (FW), and Doug Davis (ND), would be more highly rated if they got rid of offensive facial hair—what I call the Billy Koch syndrome (a former BC player who, if not for his shaved head and chin fringe [the Jay Buhner look], would have been cute. Craig Wilson (FW) was much cuter as a Pirate with longer hair than as a Yankee (but this holds true for most players). A few current players (Jose Cruz, Jr., Ken Griffey, Jr., and Coco Crisp) are not as cute as their fathers (OK, I’m showing my age, and I’m anxious to get a look at Kyle Drabek, son of former BC ace Doug Drabek, who was highly drafted in MLB this June).
What follows are a few notes on the high and low lights of each team (from worst to first). Please note that if I was not familiar with a player’s looks, I relied on the MLB Web site, so some people may have been unfairly but unavoidably penalized for being non-photogenic.
SW (8)—Cutest player: Manny Ramirez (with the dreadlocks). Exceptionally unattractive bullpen (Turnbow, J. Tavarez, Rincon).
CN (10)—Cutest player: Brad Radke, ugliest: Wise. Giambi much cuter as an A in the pre-steroid days.
ND (10)—Cutest players: Rollins, Wily Mo, Francoeur (in fact, half the ND outfield is cute). Really ugly battery with Johnson pitching to either Bard or Castro. Travis Hafner (who’s actually from North Dakota) is the league’s ugliest DH.
FW (12)—Cutest players: Cameron, Nomar, B. Anderson, D. Johnson. Least attractive: Barajas, Penny, Jacobs.
MF (12)—Cutest players: Hardy, Zito (with hair), B. Roberts. Most attractive corps of catchers, with Javy Lopez and LaRue cute and Mauer not ugly. Tied with A51 for 2nd fewest ugly guys (6).
NO (12)—Cutest players Benson, Cano, Michaels. Best smile: former BCer O-Dog. Colon-Posada battery rivals ND’s for ugliest. Very cute infield with Soriano still at 2B for the coming season.
A51 (14)—Cutest player: Greene, Ugliest: Donnelly, Myers, Molina, Reyes. Another attractive outfield, with 5 of 8 being cute.
BC (21)—Cutest players: new draftees Cotts, Granderson, and Langerhans, along with usual suspects Blalock, Wakefield, and Hawpe (newly discovered as cute—I never knew what he looked like till I did this study—nor did I know what the cute draftees looked like [except Huston Street] ). Ugliest: former A51er Mench, Laird, and Tejeda (all either former or current Texas Rangers--but so’s Blalock, so it’s not in the water there).
BAD BOYS OF THE SOMBILLA [8/06]
Which league’s franchise doesn’t give a shit about societal mores? Who flaunts boorish, illegal behavior in the rest of the league’s face? Which team is the most gentlemanly, intolerant of criminal activity on its roster? This summer, the SOMBILLA spotlight team studies the bad boys of the SOMBILLA - detailing a team by team summary of arrest records.
Not surprisingly, Future Wax heads the shame roll. Tsuan and Andrew (and more recently Randy) clearly have an eye for stockpiling thugs, hoodlums and criminals. The question is, do their wives know about this predilection?
At the other extreme, Constantinople has a very scant bad boy record. Tom & Land win the goody two shoes award.
Future Wax
Area 51/Hatchbacks/Sardukar
Manila Folders/Bunghole Quahogs
(Jed assumes liability for both franchise’s bad boys)
New Orleans
North Dakota
Swarzluna
Bay City
Not really a study, just a compilation. Somewhat related to Study 3. Including direct quotes from recent summer newsletters:
2006 – As usual we burned Barry Bonds.
2005 - Robin had previously proposed resurrecting an old Canseco card and ‘injecting’ it, although she was vague about how that would be accomplished. As a result, we kept it simple and burned Barry Bonds.
2004 - There was a lot of sentiment around burning ‘alleged’ steroid user Barry Bonds. There was also a lot of momentum for burning another Future Wax bad boy, rapist Ramon Castro. Some tried to argue creatively that, if it hadn’t been for the steroids, Bonds would be a rapist too. In the end, that speculation proved to be no match for actual facts, and Castro was burned.
2003 - The winning choice was to burn David Wells, who was then burned. If we’d had a copy of his book we’d have burned that too.
2002 - The winning choice was to burn Ruben Rivera. The card of Derek Jeter watched and cheered.
2001 - The only nomination received was for Bobby Chouinard, who was then burned.
2000 - Nominations were received for John Rocker, Al Martin, Daryl Strawberry, and Bobby Chouinard, the most number of nominations ever. The votes were Rocker 5, Martin 1 (Eric abstained). John Rocker was then burned.
1999 - Wil Cordero
1998 - Tony Phillips and Wil Cordero
Previous to 1998, Robin was in charge of card burning decisions. At the ’97 draft, Land proposed formalizing the card burning process by allowing for nominations and putting the card burning to a vote. His proposal passed 7-2.
1997 - Mike Greenwell
1996 - Darryl Strawberry
1995 - Jack Morris
1994 - Matt Young
1993 - Gary Carter
1992 - Gary Carter
1991 - Gary Carter
1990 - Bill Buckner
1989 - Glenn Hoffman
1988 - ???
1987 - Pete Rose
1986 - ???
1985 - Mike Torrez
1984 - Bucky Dent
Card burnings for 1988, 1986, and years prior have not been documented.
All-time SOMBILLA Home Run Leaders (updated 7/05)
Last summer, we presented the top 71 all-time SOMBILLA home run leaders (all those with more than 50).
Here is an updated list of the top 20:
Rank Name HR
|
1 |
Bonds |
297 |
|
2 |
Griffey |
197 |
|
3 |
Piazza |
169 |
|
4 |
McGwire |
162 |
|
5 |
Ramirez |
158 |
|
6 |
Sosa |
147 |
|
7 |
Thome |
146 |
|
8 |
Bagwell |
132 |
|
9 |
Rodriguez, A |
130 |
|
10 |
Thomas, F |
127 |
|
11 |
Williams, M |
127 |
|
12 |
Martinez, E |
122 |
|
13 |
McGriff |
121 |
|
14 |
Sheffield |
120 |
|
15 |
Belle |
116 |
|
16 |
Davis, E |
113 |
|
17 |
Gonzalez, Ju. |
112 |
|
18 |
Walker, L |
110 |
|
19 |
Burks |
105 |
|
20 |
Palmeiro |
101 |
All-time SOMBILLA Wins Leaders
As promised last summer, here is the following list of SOMBILLA wins leaders, dating back from ‘83-84, the first year we kept stats for all the teams, through last year. A couple of years in there, (for example, last year) not all the teams did their stats, but this is the best we can do.
Hopefully, I got everyone. If you think of someone who should be on the list, let me know -and I’ll look into it. This list includes all those with 30 or more recorded wins:

Constantinople, thanks to the astute managing and GMing of Tom (and to a lesser extent, Land) won its first SOMBILLA championship 4 months ago – 13 years after being awarded an expansion franchise (Note: this 13 years is shorter than the 19 years it took the Yitz/Durga/Harold franchise to win its first championship, while Manila is on 20 and counting).
In the spring of 1992, the SOMBILLA voted 6-2 to award Land his own expansion team and become the 9th team in the league. (Arnie and Robin, who were and are good friends with Land, cast the only opposing votes. Arnie because he didn’t want to do the extra scheduling and stats, and Robin, on principle. Land did not hold it against us, inviting us to his wedding a few years later.)
A few weeks before the April draft, the other 7 teams were allowed to protect 30 players (then as now, rosters were 45 players). Since we (the established teams) were going to cut 10 of these people anyway, we basically screwed Land by giving him crap (or perhaps a slight upgrade from crap) expansion players to choose from. He was limited to 2 players per team. I recall that after he got the list he called me to ask if he was forced to actually take two players from every team. I said no.
He got 10 draft picks – last pick in every round, then we gave him the stack of leftovers, from which he chose 20 or so players to fill out his roster. We magnanimously gave him two weeks to do that.
1. Were any of the expansion pickups any good? Or even helpful? Well, in the ’92 Summer Newsletter, I posted the following analysis:
|
From |
Who he took |
Who he should have taken |
|
Jed |
Fisk, E. King |
Bruno (.273), Deer (21 hr), Incaviglia (.278) |
|
Arnie |
Samuel, Maldonado |
Honeycutt (2.88), Welch (2.99) |
|
Matt |
Carpenter, Orsulak |
Carpenter (2.28) , Bichette (.314) |
|
Eric |
Eisenreich, L. Johnson |
Eisenreich (.277) , Seitzer (.283) |
|
Robin |
B. Smith, O’Brien |
Black (2.90), Jacoby (.280) |
|
Harold |
Hibbard, Treadway |
D. Jones (2.25) |
|
Dave |
Ojeda |
Ojeda (3.01 ), B. Witt (3.79) |
|
Andrew |
Mulholland, R. McDowell |
R. McDowell (2.95) , Magadan (.300) |
While I did some nitpicking analyses here, the fact is he had crap to choose from, since 2/3 of the guys on the list were about to get cut anyway. How did these 15 castoffs do? Did any of those 15 expansionists last? In the first year (in which Land finished 8th , beating out Jed & Clint), Samuel batted .291, Eisenreich .245, Fisk .231, while Mulholland was 3-9 (4.03), McDowell 2-2 (4.26) and Ojeda 3-3 (6.91). Samuel and Eisenreich were regulars.
At the ’93 draft, Land cut 7 of these 15 players. In year 2, ‘93-94, Orsulak, Maldonado, Mulholland and Carpenter were all on the 25-man roster, Mulholland going 5-8 (4.28) for the last place team. By year 3, ‘94-95 (last place again), only Terry Mulholland remained. (I recall that when I called Land at work, I would leave word with the receptionist that "Terry Mulholland" had called). In ‘95-96, when Land shocked the league by making the playoffs, none of this group contributed.
2. His fist draft? Tapani, Pagnozzi, Stanton, Joyner, Navarro, Do. Henry, C. Davis, P. Munoz, Mercedes, and A. Rhodes. 4 years later when he made the playoffs, Munoz, Davis, Joyner, and Pagnozzi were all on the team. In the ’96 summer newsletter, Chili Davis was named the best 7 th round pick (tied with T&A’s Mercker). Nobody else won a best or worst draft pick award.
3. Finally, what about the stack of leftover sludge? He had 20 picks. During the 2 week period he had to decide, a couple of astute managers were also scouting this "pile" and offered some trades to Land in return for him picking up some guys they wanted. First, the choices:
|
11 Taubensee |
|
12. F. Castillo |
|
|
13. Ashby |
|
|
14. W. Alvarez |
|
|
15. M. Williams |
|
|
16. W. Ritchie |
|
|
17. Pall |
|
|
18. Gott |
|
|
19. M. Freeman |
|
|
20. Timlin |
Land immediately traded Stanton and A. Rhodes to Jed for Zeile. He also traded Thompson to Eric for a 7 th rounder in the following year’s draft. When Land made the playoffs 4 years later, Zeile, Hansen, O. Nixon and Taubensee all took part in the celebration. Nixon still holds the league’s all-time single season steal record (53 in ‘92-93)
Check out that last guy! Literally, the 45th man on his roster, not even drafted, the last guy in the league and he’s having an all-star year in ’05. He was an ill-advised cut of Tom’s in 2002, the last remaining player on the original Constantinople.
The ‘04-05 team
Land hasn’t participated in a few years now. How many were Land guys and how many Tom’s? Researching the 25 players on Tom’s championship roster, here are a few facts:
*RP note: He had the last pick in the draft and was choosing between Giambi and Mark Whiten. I counseled him to take the pre-steroid Giambi because he was so cute).
The others:
1999: Tom’s first draft – he and Land worked together. Abreau – 2nd round, Varitek – 6 th , C. Everett- 8th
2000: Land and Tom still working together. Hudson – 1st, K. Wells – 4th, Dotel – 7 th
2001: Land still active in Gming. It’s hard from the outside to know who was responsible for drafting whom. But at least until ’02, Land had a strong interest in participating as a GM. Herges – 7th round (cut in ’03 and redrafted in ’04).
2002: The "contraction draft". Perhaps the low point of the Land/Tom marriage as there was some brief discussion of Tom getting Clint’s old team and finding a new manager for Land. In the end, they reached an amiable understanding. A. Jones – 1st , Nevin – 2nd (both former BiG DiG players), Mora – 13 th round (cut in ’03 and redrafted in ’04).
2003: Tom may have been flying solo for this one. Borowski – 8th, C. Lee – 9th, J. Schmidt – 10 th
2004: Land definitely AWOL. Ensberg – 1 st, Mora – 2nd, J. Guillen – 3rd , Redman – 4th, Herges – 4th, Bay – 7th , Stairs – 9th, Wunsch – 10th, Durham – 11th , Capuano – 12th
In the NFL, the last player drafted is nicknamed "Mr. Irrelevant" and is feted to a week long party in California. Former Pats LB Marty Moore was drafted last and had a productive career for New England. So these guys can be good pickups, but there has to be some good scouting and some luck. We’ve even instituted our own tradition, shouting "Spooneybarger" to officially end the draft. Who are these guys? And who is the best Mr. Irrelevant?
|
Year |
Name |
Drafted by |
Result after being drafted |
|
1985 |
Rich Dotson |
Joel |
One season (0-1) |
|
1986 |
Dave LaPointe |
Yitz |
DNP |
|
1987 |
Don Sutton |
Joel |
DNP |
|
1988 |
Andres Thomas |
Eric |
DNP |
|
1989 |
Jody Davis |
Dave |
DNP (this was after a fine career with Yitz’s team) |
|
1990 |
Fred Manrique |
Dave & Clint |
DNP |
|
1991 |
Chuck Nagy |
Jed |
Three seasons (15-17) |
|
1992 |
Dave Hollins |
Andrew |
One season |
|
1993 |
J. T. Bruett |
Arnie (on behalf of Dave, as a result of a trade) |
DNP |
|
1994 |
Lonnie Smith |
Arnie |
One season (.250) |
|
1995 |
Danny Jackson |
Jed & Clint |
One season (3-5) |
|
1996 |
Jason Giambi |
Land |
A great steroid-enhanced career |
|
1997 |
Rob Deer |
Matt |
One season (.286) |
|
1998 |
Larry Sheets |
Matt |
? (no stats) |
|
1999 |
David Ortiz |
Arnie |
Not a bad player |
|
2000 |
Paul Abbott |
RAT |
One season (2-1) |
|
2001 |
Mark Grace |
Harold |
Two seasons |
|
2002 |
Jeromy Burnitz |
Harold |
DNP |
|
2003 |
Tim Spooneybarger |
RAT |
DNP |
|
2004 |
Doug Waechter |
Eric |
DNP |
|
2005 |
Damian Easley |
Tom |
There is actually one Hall of Famer on this list. The problem is, when Joel drafted Don Sutton with the last pick of the 1987 draft, the guy was 42, and Joel was about to end his affiliation with the SOMBILLA. To me, that’s the worst Mr. Irrelevant pick. At least everyone else was trying. A pretty negligible list, with a couple of notable exceptions (as I write this, Ortiz just singled in A-Rod in the All-Star game). Giambi is the best Mr. Irrelevant, but after performance enhancing drugs are factored in, you have to go with Ortiz. Chuck Nagy is an honorable mention.
Some of these guys did play in the league, although for most of those, their best Strat-O years were with other managers before they were redrafted as Mr. Irrelevant. For the record, this study was not my idea.
It’s been a long-time coming, but I finally did some serious data entry and have come up with the following list of SOMBILLA home run leaders, dating back from ‘83-84, the first year we kept stats for all the teams, through last year. A couple of years in there, not all the teams did their stats, but this is the best we can do.
Hopefully, I got everyone. If you think of someone who should be on the list, let me know -and I’ll look into it. Next year, we’ll do the wins leaders:
Here are the top 25:
Rank Name HR
|
1 |
Bonds |
264 |
|
2 |
Griffey |
193 |
|
3 |
McGwire |
162 |
|
4 |
Piazza |
159 |
|
5 |
Ramirez |
141 |
|
6 |
Sosa |
140 |
|
7 |
Thome |
128 |
|
8 |
Williams, M |
127 |
|
9 |
Bagwell |
124 |
|
10 |
McGriff |
121 |
|
11 |
Belle |
116 |
|
11 |
Martinez, E |
116 |
|
13 |
Davis, E |
113 |
|
13 |
Rodriguez, A |
113 |
|
15 |
Thomas, F |
111 |
|
16 |
Gonzalez, Ju. |
109 |
|
16 |
Walker, L |
109 |
|
18 |
Burks |
105 |
|
18 |
Sheffield |
105 |
|
20 |
Palmeiro |
101 |