________________________________________________________________________________

HOW THE FRANCHISES WERE BUILT [8/08]

Which teams rely on their farm systems? Who has the most active front office? Who signs the free agents? This summer, I analyzed each team's current 45-man roster and reviewed how every player ended up on the roster. I divided them up into three categories:

Farm system – Players who were originally drafted by the team and are still on the roster. In essence, these players are those who have spent their entire SOMBILLA career with one team.

Front office – Players acquired via trade.

Free agents – Drafted players who previously played for another team, were cut, and then picked up as free agents.

Team	Farm system	Trade (front office)	Free agents	His own weird category*
Future Wax	42	1 (Berkman)	2 (Anderson, Cameron)
Bay City	43 or 44*	*	1 (Bradford)	1 (Escobar)
Constantinople	43	0	2 (C. Pena, Church)
Area 51	40	1 (Smoltz)	4 (Percival, Grudzelanik, Vizquel, Guerrero)
New Orleans	40	2 (Sheffield, Helton)	3 (Carrasco, O. Cabrera, Phelps)
North Dakota	41	2 (Glaus, Kent)	2 (Alou, M. Ordonez)
Knuckle Sandwiches	41	1 (Hafner)	3 (Howry, Ankiel, Dye)
Hibernia	43	2 (M. Ramirez, Tejada)	0

*Escobar was originally drafted by Robin, then cut, then redrafted by North Dakota, then traded back to Robin. This makes him eligible to be counted for Robin as both farm system and trade.

Surprisingly, at least to me, there is not a lot of variation among us. All teams have between 40 and 43 players on their roster who were drafted originally by them. And all teams, except for Tom, have 1 or 2 players on their roster acquired via trade. The most variation is among free agents.

In addition to the surprising lack of variability, the only other conclusion is that Durga's famous lament from 20 years ago still holds true. "This league hates to trade."

ALL-TIME FRANCHISE PLAYERS (8/07)

Who’s your best player in franchise history? I asked each tem to help with this one and received responses from all but Jeff.

North Dakota

Randy Johnson. An integral part of the team’s championship glory years (including one championship year when, due to injury, he was actually a 66-inning reliever). Has made the team virtually every year since 1993.

Constantinople

Alex Rodriguez*. Since 1996, he is either #1 or #2 in all cumulative statistics of note including 168 homeruns, which is almost twice that of the second place Manatee who had 97 homers. The consummate team player, he has been willing to change positions, be a defensive replacement and accept a part time role for an isolated year if that means the team having its best shot at winning a championship. The face of the franchise.

The Human Stains, et al

Well, if I'd kept hold of Clemens I would say he's the all-time franchise player. But since I traded him and still won several titles A.C. (after Clemens), I suppose I should select someone else. That said, since I also don't keep stats anymore, unless I'm competing, it's a hard call. Minus statistical reflection, I may have to elect Rafael Palmeiro as the all-time franchise player, since I had him virtually his whole career (thanks to one of the worst trades I'll wager RAT ever made).

But where would I have been without, say, Lenny Dyskstra, Von Hayes, Dale Murphy, Harold Baines, Orel Hershiser, Dennis Eckersley, even Dave Winfield for a few years? Or Mike Stanley? and what about----Steve Sax? And Mark Clear? (just kidding.) and Rick Sutcliffe? ah, the good old days....so I guess Palmeiro gets the nod, steroids and all.

Manila Folders

Mark McGwire, perhaps the best SOMBILLA season ever, winning the triple crown for the first, and only, time.

A close second would be Gary Redus, for defining the drafting philosophy of the team so well.

Jed

Which franchise? I think players I traded had more impact on the league so I'll go with Mike Piazza.

New Orleans

Mariano Rivera. 10th round pick in '96 draft. 'Nuff said.

Bay City

Pudge Rodriguez. Pretty sure he’s made my team every year since I drafted him, and he probably saved me dozens (hundreds?) of runs with his throwing arm (or, more accurately, the threat of his throwing arm). Honorable mention to 1^st BC pick ever, Cal Ripken, Jr.

Future Wax

The most important player in FW franchise history is Barry Bonds, or __________ on his card. Bonds is a four-time league MVP (92-93, 94-95, 01-02, 02-03), holds the league records for homeruns (32), runs (74), OPS (1.465), and SLUG (.994). Since 1997, he has hit 42 post-season home-runs (stats for 01-02 are missing) over 90 play-off games.

* asshole

SUCCESSFUL LEFTY STARTERS (8/07)

Harold, on the heels of lefty Dontrelle Willis winning the Cy Young award asked how many lefties have ever won the Cy Young award? What championship teams have had lefties in the rotation?

The first question is easy – only 2 lefty pitchers have ever won the SOMBILLA’s Cy Young award. The first was Fernando Valenzuela for Yitz’s Learned Hands, back in ‘86-87. He finished with an 8-5 record and a 3.05 ERA for the 7^th place Hands. And Dontrelle Willis, last year, was the second.

As far as lefties on championship teams goes, see below:

* not sure if he spot started.

13 of the 27 champions had no lefty starters. A compelling stat. And looking at the three champions with two lefty starters, Underwood (he of lefty-yanking rule fame), Nabholz, and Rosado were all spot starters, not regulars in the rotation. Meaning that half of all champions had no lefties in the rotation and the other half had one regular.

The Cute Ratings [8/06]

Presenting the nonannual Cute Ratings by Robin Perlow, guest columnist

To, I’m sure, no one’s surprise, Bay City is the cutest team in the Sombilla, with a whopping 21 cute players, easily topping runner-up A51, who has 14 cuties. Swarzluna has the fewest, with only 8 cute players, but only 9 truly ugly ones, whereas FW has 15 ugly guys (compared to BC, which has only 4 ugly ones—including trade pick-up Kevin Mench). Catcher is probably the least attractive position (I didn’t separate infielders or outfielders by position), with only 5 cute ones out of 29 in the league. MF has 2 of these, so 4 teams (CN, ND, NO, A51) have no cute catchers.

In my exhaustive search to determine the "cutest player in the SOMBILLA" (to replace the cut [and retired] Alex Gonzalez [not the Red Sox one] and the cut Steve Finley—the previous titleholders), there was no clear winner. I am forced to declare a tie amongst Khalil Greene (A51), Mike Cameron (FW), and newcomer J.J. Hardy (MF). My choices are purely subjective; thus, Cleveland heartthrob Grady Sizemore and former 50 Most Beautiful Person Mike Lowell didn’t make the cut. Certain players, including Matt Clement (SW), Nick Swisher (A51), Dan Johnson (FW), and Doug Davis (ND), would be more highly rated if they got rid of offensive facial hair—what I call the Billy Koch syndrome (a former BC player who, if not for his shaved head and chin fringe [the Jay Buhner look], would have been cute. Craig Wilson (FW) was much cuter as a Pirate with longer hair than as a Yankee (but this holds true for most players). A few current players (Jose Cruz, Jr., Ken Griffey, Jr., and Coco Crisp) are not as cute as their fathers (OK, I’m showing my age, and I’m anxious to get a look at Kyle Drabek, son of former BC ace Doug Drabek, who was highly drafted in MLB this June).

What follows are a few notes on the high and low lights of each team (from worst to first). Please note that if I was not familiar with a player’s looks, I relied on the MLB Web site, so some people may have been unfairly but unavoidably penalized for being non-photogenic.

SW (8)—Cutest player: Manny Ramirez (with the dreadlocks). Exceptionally unattractive bullpen (Turnbow, J. Tavarez, Rincon).

CN (10)—Cutest player: Brad Radke, ugliest: Wise. Giambi much cuter as an A in the pre-steroid days.

ND (10)—Cutest players: Rollins, Wily Mo, Francoeur (in fact, half the ND outfield is cute). Really ugly battery with Johnson pitching to either Bard or Castro. Travis Hafner (who’s actually from North Dakota) is the league’s ugliest DH.

FW (12)—Cutest players: Cameron, Nomar, B. Anderson, D. Johnson. Least attractive: Barajas, Penny, Jacobs.

MF (12)—Cutest players: Hardy, Zito (with hair), B. Roberts. Most attractive corps of catchers, with Javy Lopez and LaRue cute and Mauer not ugly. Tied with A51 for 2^nd fewest ugly guys (6).

NO (12)—Cutest players Benson, Cano, Michaels. Best smile: former BCer O-Dog. Colon-Posada battery rivals ND’s for ugliest. Very cute infield with Soriano still at 2B for the coming season.

A51 (14)—Cutest player: Greene, Ugliest: Donnelly, Myers, Molina, Reyes. Another attractive outfield, with 5 of 8 being cute.

BC (21)—Cutest players: new draftees Cotts, Granderson, and Langerhans, along with usual suspects Blalock, Wakefield, and Hawpe (newly discovered as cute—I never knew what he looked like till I did this study—nor did I know what the cute draftees looked like [except Huston Street] ). Ugliest: former A51er Mench, Laird, and Tejeda (all either former or current Texas Rangers--but so’s Blalock, so it’s not in the water there).

Which league’s franchise doesn’t give a shit about societal mores? Who flaunts boorish, illegal behavior in the rest of the league’s face? Which team is the most gentlemanly, intolerant of criminal activity on its roster? This summer, the SOMBILLA spotlight team studies the bad boys of the SOMBILLA - detailing a team by team summary of arrest records.

Not surprisingly, Future Wax heads the shame roll. Tsuan and Andrew (and more recently Randy) clearly have an eye for stockpiling thugs, hoodlums and criminals. The question is, do their wives know about this predilection?

At the other extreme, Constantinople has a very scant bad boy record.   Tom & Land win the goody two shoes award.

Future Wax

• Barry Bonds - domestic violence & tax evasion, among other things.

• Ramon Castro - accused of raping a woman in his hotel room (drafted by North Dakota this year after being acquitted of rape).
• Bobby Chouinard - pleaded guilty to aggravated assault for abusing his wife, served a year in jail. Chouinard, then with the Arizona Diamondbacks, was arrested after he hit his wife, Erica, and held a loaded gun to her head while she begged for her life, police said.

• Wil Cordero - hit his wife with a phone in a celebrated case while a member of the Red Sox.

• Eric Davis - Drove the "getaway car" when Vince Coleman chucked that M-80 into the Dodger Stadium parking lot out his window. See Coleman below...
• Dwight Gooden - Missed the first two months of the 1987 season when he checked himself into a drug rehab center. Suspended for 60 days in 1994 for testing positive for cocaine. Suspended for the entire 1995 season after testing positive for coke again, while on suspension from the first charge. Arrested in Feb 2002 for drunk driving. Not only drunk but was on a suspended license and had open booze the car. Arrested again in January 2003 for driving with a suspended license. At least he wasn't drunk. Arrested in March 2005 for punching his ex-wife in the face. No word if he was drunk
• Darryl Strawberry

• April 7, 1989 -- Named in a lawsuit in Clayton, Mo., charging that he fathered a son with Lisa Clayton.
• Jan. 26, 1990 -- Arrested for alleged assault with a deadly weapon during an argument with his wife. He is alleged to have hit her in the face with an open hand and also to have threatened her with a .25-caliber semiautomatic handgun.
• Sept. 4, 1993 -- Arrested for allegedly striking Charisse Simons, the 26-year-old woman he lived with.
• March 3, 1994 -- Investigated by the IRS and U.S. Attorney's Office for allegedly failing to file tax returns for in excess of $300,000 of income derived from autograph and memorabilia shows.
• April 4, 1994 -- Dodgers announce Strawberry has a substance abuse problem and place him on the disabled list.
• Dec. 8, 1994 -- He and his agent Eric Goldschmidt were indicted on federal tax evasion charges alleging that Strawberry failed to report more than $500,000 in income earned from 1986 through 1990.
• Feb. 6, 1995 -- Major league baseball suspends Strawberry for 60 days after he tested positive for cocaine. The Giants, citing a clause in his contract, terminate the deal and release him.
• Dec. 11, 1995 -- Strawberry is charged in California with failing to make child support payments and faces one count of willful failure to provide child support, two counts of violating a court order to provide child support and another order to provide spousal support.
• Aug. 20, 1998 -- Sued by attorney Robert Shapiro for $100,000 plus interest in fees for a contract settlement Shapiro negotiated with the Dodgers in 1994.
• April 14, 1999 -- Charged with possession of cocaine and soliciting a prostitute. According to police, Strawberry allegedly solicited an undercover officer for sex for $50. Upon being searched, 0.3 grams of powder cocaine was found inside of his wallet. He was released on $6,000 bond.
• Feb. 22, 2000 -- A Florida Department of Corrections report says Strawberry tested positive for cocaine on Jan. 19.
• March 2002 -- Kicked out of drug treatment center for trading some of his memorabilia for cigarettes and having sex with a female resident. Of course Darryl was married at the time...

• Kenny Rogers - beat up a photographer

Area 51/Hatchbacks/Sardukar

• Jose Canseco - Arrested in March of 1984, but nobody knows why. Charged with aggravated assault in 1992 for purposely ramming into his first wife's car. Arrested in 1997 for beating his second wife. Admitted to taking steroids during his career and estimated that 50% of all ballplayers use roids. Arrested with bro Ozzie in 11/2001 for getting into a fight with some dudes at a nightclub. Guess which side needed 20 stitches and had a broken nose? Jose claimed he was a "victim". Promptly blew off the court date for above charges. Got two years of house arrest for blowing off above charges in April 2003.
• Darren Daulton - Arrested for DUI in Pinellas County, Florida in 1988. His license was also suspended in the late '90s due to unpaid speeding tickets; he received at least five during that time period, including one for traveling over 100 miles-per-hour in a 65 zone. While under this suspension, he was involved in an accident causing $20,000 damage to his BMW. He was charged with DUI, driving with a suspended license, and failing to appear in court. Daulton claimed the accident was a result of getting run off the road in lieu of a business deal with ties to the FBI and the White House. Exactly two years later, he was arrested again for driving with a suspended license and DUI, after again refusing to be tested for alcohol. Daulton was also arrested on domestic violence charges, accused of abusing his second wife Nicole, who subsequently filed for divorce. In 2004, he spent two months in jail in contempt of court after refusing to abide by the terms of a legal agreement related to the divorce.
• Steve Garvey --beating Cindy up
• Brett Myers - beat up his wife on Boylston Street in front of shocked pedestrians.
• Denny Neagle - soliciting a prostitute.

• John Rocker – Never arrested, but we have to mention him. Speaking of NY, he told SI "Imagine having to take the train to the ballpark, looking like you're riding through Beirut next to some kid with purple hair, next to some queer with AIDS, right next to some dude who just got out of jail for the fourth time, right next to some 20-year-old mom with four kids. It's depressing." During a subsequent interview, he spat on a Georgia 400 toll machine and mocked Asian women. Additionally, he referred to then-teammate Randall Simon as being a "fat monkey."

• Mike Stanton - beat up a groundskeeper in Red Sox bullpen

• Willie Wilson plead guilty to attempting to buy cocaine and was sentenced to 3 months prison.

(Jed assumes liability for both franchise’s bad boys)

• Wally Backman - arrested for drunk driving. Indicted for assault on his wife and her friend
• Derek Bell - possession
• Albert Belle - tracked his ex-girlfriend with a GPS device and repeatedly threatened her
• Milton Bradley - disorderly conduct
• Ken Caminiti - drugs
• Vince Coleman - Threw a lighted firecracker into a crowd of people in the Dodger Stadium parking lot. A young girl was hurt and Vince had to serve 200 hours of community service.
• Chili Davis - Charged with disorderly conduct following California's win over the Brewers in Milwaukee in 1995. Davis allegedly slapped a fan who was taunting him. Chili also had a hit in the game.

• Rafael Furcal - DUI
• Todd Hollandsworth - DUI
• Julio Lugo - domestic violence
• Jeff Nelson - beat up a groundskeeper in Red Sox bullpen

• Kirby Puckett - arrested for accosting and assaulting a woman in the restroom of a downtown Minneapolis restaurant.

• Harold Reynolds - fired from ESPN allegedly because of sexual misconduct
• Dmitri Young - domestic violence

New Orleans

• Scott Erickson - domestic violence

• Steve Howe - cocaine. About 26 times.
• Kevin Mitchell - Sued by a former girlfriend in 1989, who claimed that Mitchell beat her and threatened her with a gun. Charges were dropped after Mitchell agreed to enter a domestic violence program. Was arrested for felony battery after hitting his own father during a dispute. It gets better. The dispute took place because Mitchell was trying to evict his own father from a house he was renting him. Apparently daddy was a bit behind on the payments.
• Manny Ramirez - drunk driving
• Jeff Reardon - robbed a jewelry store in his hometown

• Ruben Rivera--stealing various articles out of the Yankee clubhouse with intent to sell

• Dave Stewart - after police observed him soliciting a prostitute in downtown L.A., Stewart was arrested a few minutes later in a nearby alley. Also arrested was the hooker, "Lucille." It just so happened, however, that Lucille was actually Elson Tyler, a 27-year-old 6-foot-3 unemployed laborer. ''Mr. Stewart said he was unaware that Tyler was a male until after the arrest,'' Police Comdr. William Booth said. ''That was his statement and we have reason to believe him.'' Vice officers refused to give details of the incident but a police source said the transvestite was performing oral on Stewart.

North Dakota

• Roberto Alomar – spat on an umpire
• Pedro Guerrero - Suspended from the Mexican League in 1999 - details are sketchy. Was parading around with OJ Simpson's post-Nicole girlfriend Christine Prodey, apparently on coke binges and having sex. OJ didn't take too kindly to this and called 911 on them. Cops showed up and Prodey was arrested. Arrested in September of 1999 for trying to buy 33 pounds of cocaine from an undercover agent. Was acquitted of drug conspiracy charges in June of 2002 after his attorney argued his low IQ prevented him from understanding that he agreed to a drug deal.
• Esteban Loaiza – DUI

• Al Martin –Charged with exchanging punches with a woman who claims she married him in a 1998 Las Vegas wedding. The argument started when she accused Martin of still being married to someone else and he was accused of bigamy.

• Luis Polonia was arrested for having sex with a minor.
• Sidney Ponson - beating up a judge; DUI
• Tim Raines - Admitted to being a cocaine user and used to get high during games. Raines told reporters that he would keep a vial of coke in his pocket and would slide headfirst while stealing to make sure the vial wouldn't break.
• Tim Teufel - Arrested with fellow Mets Bob Ojeda, Rick Aguilera and Ron Darling after a brawl at a Houston bar. The four apparently were out celebrating the birth of Tim's child when they felt compelled to start a fight with some off-duty police officers working as security guards.

Swarzluna

• Roger Clemens - Was arrested with brother Gary in 1991 for assaulting a police officer following a disturbance at a Houston nightclub.
• Tim Crews, who died with Steve Olin in the motorboat incident, was piloting drunk.
• Lenny Dykstra - After downing a few cold ones at John Kruk's bachelor party, Dykstra drove his car into a tree and really fucked up his passenger, Darren Daulton. Dykstra came out relatively unhurt, although he added a DWI to his record. Was rumored to have built-up a $100,000 gambling debt. Was charged on accusations of sexual battery with a 17-year-old girl. Apparently he touched her inappropriately, though she was clothed. On the plus side, he does play Strat-O.
• Keith Hernandez - Admitted that he went crazy on coke during the 1980 season, despite batting .321. Also admitted that he used to play high and would wake up shaking. Suspended for one year in 1986 for... guess what? Drugs.

• Ray Knight - Was charged with Hunting from public road, Hunting from a motor vehicle, Hunting without permission and Hunting deer at night on January 26, 2001. Apparently Ray and a buddy were returning from a hunting trip and he spotted a deer on the road. Knight claimed he merely wanted to look at the deer and his charges were reduced to Criminal Trespass and "Blinding wildlife with lights."

• Pete Rose - taxes, gambling on baseball

Bay City

• Oil Can Boyd - threatening a female business partner. unpaid speeding ticket. Also overdue x-rated videos, stalking

• Wes Gardner - some type of wife abuse
• Jose Mesa - fondling
• Sammy Sosa - hit wife with rum bottle
• Frank Thomas - domestic violence
• BJ Upton – DUI

• John Rocker – Never arrested, but we have to mention him. Speaking of NY, he told SI "Imagine having to take the train to the ballpark, looking like you're riding through Beirut next to some kid with purple hair, next to some queer with AIDS, right next to some dude who just got out of jail for the fourth time, right next to some 20-year-old mom with four kids. It's depressing." During a subsequent interview, he spat on a Georgia 400 toll machine and mocked Asian women. Additionally, he referred to then-teammate Randall Simon as being a "fat monkey."
• Otis Nixon - He struggled with a cocaine problem since the 1980's. He first tried it as a college freshman and got hooked. He was first arrested in 1987 while playing at the AAA level Buffalo Bisons for possession and spent 28 days in rehab. Near the end of the 1991 season, he tested positive for cocaine and was suspended by Major League Baseball. He missed the World Series because of it. He cleaned up after the suspension and did not have any brushes with the law until 2004, when he was charged with threatening his bodyguard with a knife and in a separate incident, misdemeanor sexual assault. Authorities could not understand why Nixon would have a bodyguard. The Gwinnett County GA charge has been concluded, however the DeKalb County Charge remains. He still is under Examination for Fraud and questionable Financial Transaction(s).
  

Not really a study, just a compilation. Somewhat related to Study 3. Including direct quotes from recent summer newsletters:

2006 – As usual we burned Barry Bonds.

2005 - Robin had previously proposed resurrecting an old Canseco card and ‘injecting’ it, although she was vague about how that would be accomplished. As a result, we kept it simple and burned Barry Bonds.

2004 - There was a lot of sentiment around burning ‘alleged’ steroid user Barry Bonds. There was also a lot of momentum for burning another Future Wax bad boy, rapist Ramon Castro. Some tried to argue creatively that, if it hadn’t been for the steroids, Bonds would be a rapist too. In the end, that speculation proved to be no match for actual facts, and Castro was burned.

2003 - The winning choice was to burn David Wells, who was then burned. If we’d had a copy of his book we’d have burned that too.

2002 - The winning choice was to burn Ruben Rivera. The card of Derek Jeter watched and cheered.

2001 - The only nomination received was for Bobby Chouinard, who was then burned.

2000 - Nominations were received for John Rocker, Al Martin, Daryl Strawberry, and Bobby Chouinard, the most number of nominations ever. The votes were Rocker 5, Martin 1 (Eric abstained). John Rocker was then burned.

1999 - Wil Cordero

1998 - Tony Phillips and Wil Cordero

Previous to 1998, Robin was in charge of card burning decisions. At the ’97 draft, Land proposed formalizing the card burning process by allowing for nominations and putting the card burning to a vote. His proposal passed 7-2.

1997 - Mike Greenwell

1996 - Darryl Strawberry

1995 - Jack Morris

1994 - Matt Young

1993 - Gary Carter

1992 - Gary Carter

1991 - Gary Carter

1990 - Bill Buckner

1989 - Glenn Hoffman

1988 - Steve Garvey

1987 - Pete Rose

1986 - Pete Rose

1985 - Mike Torrez

1984 - Bucky Dent

Card burnings for  years prior have not been documented.

Last summer, we presented the top 71 all-time SOMBILLA home run leaders (all those with more than 50).

Here is an updated list of the top 20:

As promised last summer, here is the following list of SOMBILLA wins leaders, dating back from ‘83-84, the first year we kept stats for all the teams, through last year. A couple of years in there, (for example, last year) not all the teams did their stats, but this is the best we can do.

Hopefully, I got everyone. If you think of someone who should be on the list, let me know -and I’ll look into it. This list includes all those with 30 or more recorded wins:

Constantinople, thanks to the astute managing and GMing of Tom (and to a lesser extent, Land) won its first SOMBILLA championship 4 months ago – 13 years after being awarded an expansion franchise (Note: this 13 years is shorter than the 19 years it took the Yitz/Durga/Harold franchise to win its first championship, while Manila is on 20 and counting).

In the spring of 1992, the SOMBILLA voted 6-2 to award Land his own expansion team and become the 9^th team in the league. (Arnie and Robin, who were and are good friends with Land, cast the only opposing votes. Arnie because he didn’t want to do the extra scheduling and stats, and Robin, on principle. Land did not hold it against us, inviting us to his wedding a few years later.)

A few weeks before the April draft, the other 7 teams were allowed to protect 30 players (then as now, rosters were 45 players). Since we (the established teams) were going to cut 10 of these people anyway, we basically screwed Land by giving him crap (or perhaps a slight upgrade from crap) expansion players to choose from. He was limited to 2 players per team. I recall that after he got the list he called me to ask if he was forced to actually take two players from every team. I said no.

He got 10 draft picks – last pick in every round, then we gave him the stack of leftovers, from which he chose 20 or so players to fill out his roster. We magnanimously gave him two weeks to do that.

1. Were any of the expansion pickups any good? Or even helpful? Well, in the ’92 Summer Newsletter, I posted the following analysis:

Land immediately traded Stanton and A. Rhodes to Jed for Zeile. He also traded Thompson to Eric for a 7 ^th rounder in the following year’s draft. When Land made the playoffs 4 years later, Zeile, Hansen, O. Nixon and Taubensee all took part in the celebration. Nixon still holds the league’s all-time single season steal record (53 in ‘92-93)

Check out that last guy! Literally, the 45^th man on his roster, not even drafted, the last guy in the league and he’s having an all-star year in ’05. He was an ill-advised cut of Tom’s in 2002, the last remaining player on the original Constantinople.

Land hasn’t participated in a few years now. How many were Land guys and how many Tom’s? Researching the 25 players on Tom’s championship roster, here are a few facts:

• 24 of the 25 players were drafted by Constantinople (including 2 who were drafted twice by CN). Only one player was acquired in a trade. (Aquilino Lopez from Robin during the ‘04-05 campaign).

• 10 of the 25 players (40%) were from Tom’s 2004 draft. We’ve never studied that particular statistic, but I’m guessing it’s a pretty high percentage historically, for a championship team or otherwise.

• 22 of the 25 players were acquired after Tom became involved in the team. The other 3 were pretty important, though:

• Alex Rodriguez was drafted 1^st overall by Land in the 1995 draft.
• Jason Giambi was a 12^th round pick by Land in ’96!*
• Uegeth Urbina was a 9^th round pick by Brian and Land in the ’97 draft.

1999: Tom’s first draft – he and Land worked together. Abreau – 2^nd round, Varitek – 6 ^th , C. Everett- 8^th

2000: Land and Tom still working together. Hudson – 1^st, K. Wells – 4^th, Dotel – 7 ^th

2001: Land still active in Gming. It’s hard from the outside to know who was responsible for drafting whom. But at least until ’02, Land had a strong interest in participating as a GM. Herges – 7^th round (cut in ’03 and redrafted in ’04).

2002: The "contraction draft". Perhaps the low point of the Land/Tom marriage as there was some brief discussion of Tom getting Clint’s old team and finding a new manager for Land. In the end, they reached an amiable understanding. A. Jones – 1^st , Nevin – 2^nd (both former BiG DiG players), Mora – 13 ^th round (cut in ’03 and redrafted in ’04).

2003: Tom may have been flying solo for this one. Borowski – 8^th, C. Lee – 9^th, J. Schmidt – 10 ^th

2004: Land definitely AWOL. Ensberg – 1 ^st, Mora – 2^nd, J. Guillen – 3^rd , Redman – 4^th, Herges – 4^th, Bay – 7^th , Stairs – 9^th, Wunsch – 10^th, Durham – 11^th , Capuano – 12^th

In the NFL, the last player drafted is nicknamed "Mr. Irrelevant" and is feted to a week long party in California. Former Pats LB Marty Moore was drafted last and had a productive career for New England. So these guys can be good pickups, but there has to be some good scouting and some luck. We’ve even instituted our own tradition, shouting "Spooneybarger" to officially end the draft. Who are these guys? And who is the best Mr. Irrelevant?

There is actually one Hall of Famer on this list. The problem is, when Joel drafted Don Sutton with the last pick of the 1987 draft, the guy was 42, and Joel was about to end his affiliation with the SOMBILLA. To me, that’s the worst Mr. Irrelevant pick. At least everyone else was trying. A pretty negligible list, with a couple of notable exceptions (as I write this, Ortiz just singled in A-Rod in the All-Star game). Giambi is the best Mr. Irrelevant, but after performance enhancing drugs are factored in, you have to go with Ortiz. Chuck Nagy is an honorable mention.

Some of these guys did play in the league, although for most of those, their best Strat-O years were with other managers before they were redrafted as Mr. Irrelevant. For the record, this study was not my idea.

All-time SOMBILLA Home Run Leaders (7/04)

It’s been a long-time coming, but I finally did some serious data entry and have come up with the following list of SOMBILLA home run leaders, dating back from ‘83-84, the first year we kept stats for all the teams, through last year. A couple of years in there, not all the teams did their stats, but this is the best we can do.

Hopefully, I got everyone. If you think of someone who should be on the list, let me know -and I’ll look into it. Next year, we’ll do the wins leaders:

Here are the top 25:

Rank        Name                      HR

Ideally, we would examine a historical list of all players who have gone on the DL, say, over the past 10 years and add ‘em up. Or something like that. Unfortunately, I could find no such historical listing. So, I’ve come up with a few alternatives.

1. Right now

At the all-star break, 49 of the league’s 360 players were on the DL, or 14%. They were spread not so evenly among the league’s teams, ranging from a high of 9 players on the DL, (both RAT and Tom), to a low of 3 for Matt & Jed (only A. Boone, Beckett and Ohka). For the record, RAT’s DL was Williamson, J. Gonzalez, Mantei, Valverde, A. Ramirez, Griffey, Spooneybarger, R. Castro, and W. Miller. Tom’s DL was Mondesi, Mora, Stewart, Ellis, Hudson, Nelson, Borowski, Casey, and Nevin.

But that’s just a snapshot in time. It doesn’t prove anything and you can’t draw any conclusions from it. Indeed, the snapshot would’ve been different in May, and will be different again in September (except for people like Ohka, Arthur Rhodes or Ritchie Sexson out for the season).

2. Fluke injuries.

Pitchers get sore arms. Players pull hamstrings. These are normal, almost expected. But occasionally, weird, inexplicable injuries occur to players. Is this a random occurrence by team or not? Well, some teams clearly are more susceptible to weird injuries. Coincidence? Here’s a collection of some of the strangest injuries over the years affecting SOMBILLA players by team:

Robin:

• Giants head-case third baseman Chris Brown once begged out of the lineup because of a strained eyelid. He claimed he "slept on it wrong."
• Brewers pitcher Steve Sparks dislocated his shoulder trying to tear a *telephone book* in half as part of a motivational speech.
• Pitcher Greg Harris once "strained his elbow" while "flicking sunflower seeds."
• P Ricky Bones once hurt his lower back getting out of a chair while watching TV in the clubhouse, or so he claimed.
• RF Sammy Sosa throws his back out after sneezing.
• Pitcher Dave Dravecky has arm amputated due to cancer.
• Pitcher Dave Leiper undergoes open heart surgery.
• I. Rodriguez breaks thumb after being hit by M. Vaughn’s bat on follow-through
• Sid Fernandez run over by golf cart. Also injured due to being hit by foul while sitting in dugout.
• Greg Walker disabled due to seizure in locker room caused by previously undiagnosed epilepsy.
• David Cone out after mother-in-law’s dog bit him on pitching hand.
• R. Ankiel (see 2000 draft - 1^st round) mysteriously contracts Steve Blass disease during the playoffs.
• Alex Fernandez goes on DL for some legitimate reason and gains 30 pounds.

• Tom Gordon hurts shoulder after losing a bet and having to carry (Bay City teammate) Jim Corsi’s luggage. (Roger "we have to carry our own luggage" Clemens should have bet Gordon, too. And, no, not that kind of luggage).

RAT

• Matt Mantei needed four stitches in his right thumb after cutting it while opening a can of dog food just before Spring Training 2002. Mantei was *already on rehab*.
• Early in spring training 2002, Matt Williams broke his leg when he tripped over his own feet during a workout. Williams, whose latter career was injury-filled, was attempting to show the Arizona organization he was healthy enough to start at third again.
• During spring training 2002, Giants' 2B Jeff Kent suffered a broken wrist, telling the team (and the public) that this injury happened while the slugger was washing his truck. A few days later, though, the truth came out. It seems he was riding his motorcycle when he broke that wrist, an activity expressly forbidden by the second baseman's contract. But the story doesn't end there. It seems Kent was riding near the Giants' spring ballpark, doing wheelies! Then, after a 911 call due to the injury, he calls someone who WORKS FOR THE GIANTS to come get his damaged bike. Little wonder he left SF after that season.
• Young Texas Rangers' CF Oddibe McDowell once missed Opening Day because cut his finger buttering a roll. . . at the team's "welcome home luncheon."
• Juan Gonzalez's back acted up last spring after a bad sneeze.
• David Wells said he lost his balance after kicking a 40-pound iron bar stool. According to Wells, when he fell he was holding a glass and subsequently cut his left hand and a tendon in his right wrist.
• In 1985, Giants pitcher Greg Minton showed up at spring training hurt, after he drove a nail through the middle of his pitching hand while trying to shoe a horse.

Arnie

• Glenallen Hill, of the Toronto Blue Jays at the time, was deathly afraid of spiders. He cut his foot when he ran into a glass table while sleepwalking. Actually, he was sleeprunning in mortal terror while dreaming he was being chased by a spider. In an effort to get away from the imaginary creatures, Hill climbed the stairs in his apartment and scraped his knees and elbows on the carpet. "When I woke up I was on a couch and my wife, Mika, was screaming, 'Honey, wake up,'" Hill, held up by crutches, told reporters at the stadium the next day. In order to corroborate his alibi, Hill offered reporters the chance to come to his apartment to see the blood stains on the carpet.
• Believe it or not, nobody was upset with Jason Isringhausen when he stabbed himself opening a package, although when he punched a trash can, people got a bit testy.

• Rick Honeycutt injured his wrist while flicking sunflower seeds in the dugout.

• Padres pitcher Adam Eaton missed a start after stabbing himself in the stomach with a small knife while trying to cut the shrink-wrap off a DVD. Eaton needed two stitches.
• Pitcher Paul Shuey fell asleep while holding his baby and suffered a knot in his shoulder.
• Outfielder Ruben Sierra once showed up to the ballpark with a sprained ankle, thanks to chasing his daughter on a mall escalator.

Jeff/Dave/Joel

• Catcher-DH Mickey Tettleton got an infected foot from tying his shoelaces too tight.
• Five-time batting champion Wade Boggs missed a week when he lost his balance putting on his cowboy boots and fell into a couch.
• How was Bret Barberie supposed to know that you temporarily lose your vision if you accidentally rub chili sauce in your eyes?
• George Brett hit his foot on a chair and broke his toe while running from the kitchen to the TV to see Bill Buckner hit.
• DL- sneezing Goose Gossage. "I'm embarrassed as hell," Gossage said at the time. "But they say it's one of the most common ways (to hurt your back). You drop a bar of soap and hurt it. Or you put your shoes or socks on and hurt it. It happens."

Yitz/Harold

• Rick Honeycutt, this time playing for Yitz, suffered a large scratch across the forehead when he, after being ejected for scuffing the ball with a tack taped to his finger, wiped his brow in frustration.
• Nolan Ryan was bitten by a coyote.
• Matt Anderson, Tigers' relief pitcher, once tore a muscle in his shoulder after participating in an octopus-throwing contest. He was allegedly trying to win Red Wings playoff tickets. Anderson "emphatically denied" that is what happened in many published reports, meaning it must be true, of course.

• Kevin Mitchell strained a muscle while vomiting.

Jed & Clint.

• Braves pitcher John Smoltz burned his chest trying to steam iron a shirt HE WAS WEARING AT THE TIME.
• Slugger Rob Deer, who holds the dubious distinctions of leading the league in strikeouts five times while finishing his career with 556 more strikeouts (1,409) than hits (853), once broke his hand, how else, by striking out.
• The Twins Marty Cordova once had to "limit his playing time in day games," because he fell asleep in a tanning bed.

Eric

• Bad pillow positioning resulted in a stiff neck for outfielder J.D. Drew, who missed a few games
• Home is where St. Louis catcher Mike Matheny's 2000 season ended, when he severed two tendons and a nerve on his right ring finger, after he cut himself with a hunting knife he received as a birthday present.
• Outfielder Brian Jordan injured his back while picking up his son at Disneyland.

Matt:

• Cardinals speedster Vince Coleman missed the 1985 World Series after he was run over by the automatic tarp machine.

• KC Royal Mark Quinn opened 2002 on the DL because of a broken rib. He was "kung-fu fighting" with his brother in San Diego, and, in one of his more spectacular moves, he stumbled backwards into a chair and busted up his side. Now, he didn't feel the need to report this to the Royals, mind you, and tried to "play through it," but the "pain was too great."

Tom/Land

• "DL-Sneezing," pitcher Marc Valdes in 1995

1. Deaths.

On a more somber note, a few SOMBILLA players have actually died while on active rosters:

• The first SOMBILLA death occurred in the very first SOMBILLA season in 1979 when North Dakota starting catcher Thurman Munson died tragically in a plane crash.

• In the mid-80s, Robin’s relief pitcher Donnie Moore committed suicide (Robin adds "after learning he had 8 BP homers vs. lefties on his card").

• In the early 90’s a tragic boating accident claimed both Robin’s Steve Olin and Eric’s Tim Crews.

• And just a few years ago, Manila pitcher Daryl Kile died in a Chicago hotel room.

1. Limited Players.

For the only real ‘study’ here, I tried to look at limited players over the past 10 years per franchise. I made a point not to count mutants - guys with great cards drafted in spite of being limited. We’re looking at established roster people who are injured enough that they can’t get to 350 plate appearances and are hence limited. It’s not perfect - it won’t catch guys like Mo Vaughn who get injured for whole season.

Unfortunately, the historical stats aren’t really up to where they should be to make this accurate. Unofficially, Tom & Land and Jeff both had 14 such players over the 10 years to lead the pack, followed closely by North Dakota with 13. The Folders and Bay City chime in with 12, while Harold and Jed had 9 each. Future Wax, surprisingly while hit with many unusual injuries (see above) had only 7 players over this time limited due to injury (they had plenty of mutants, who do not count). Eric brings up the rear with only 7, but that’s probably more of a function of all those years without stats than anything else.

 

2. Conclusion.

Robin’s team appears to have an inordinate number of injuries and deaths, but all teams appear to have been affected in one way or another. I was going to say that Matt appears least affected, but then I remembered Darryl Kile, whose demise rightly earned Matt a seat on the "couch of woe" on draft day.

In 1972, Steve Carlton of the Philadelphia Phillies, went 27-10, with a 1.97 ERA to win the Cy Young Award. His team, as you may know, finished dead last, at 59-97, making Carlton’s season all the more remarkable. This summer, thanks to a suggestion by Eric, the league asks, "who have been the Steve Carltons of the SOMBILLA?"

There have been some remarkably bad teams in the SOMBILLA. Here is a list of all the last place teams over the years:

Year Team                       W  L  Pct  GB
1979      Sardukar             20 30 .400  13
1981-1982 North Dakota         14 36 .280  17
1982-1983 North Dakota         19 31 .380  15
1983-1984 Marakesh Express     23 27 .460  4.5
1984-1985 Shellshock III Nazgul19 31 .380  10
1985-1986 Manilla Folders      20 36 .357  15
1986-1987 Sardukar             23 33 .410  11
1987-1988 Sardukar             19 37 .339  20
1988-1989 Bay City             21 35 .375  14
1989-1990 Bay City             18 38 .321  26
1990-1991 Bay City             23 33 .411  13
1991-1992 Hatchbacks           21 35 .375  22
1992-1993 Adirondack           19 37 .339  15
1993-1994 Constantinople       21 35 .375  16
1994-1995 Constantinople       19 37 .339  17
1995-1996 Metrowest            18 38 .321  21
1996-1997 Metrowest            19 37 .339  22
1997-1998 Bay City             22 34 .393  12
1998-1999 Kakania              16 40 .286  24
1999-2000 Constantinople       23 33 .404  16
2000-2001 Manila Folders       10 43 .189  27.5
2001-2002 BiG DiG              18 38 .321  20
2002-2003 Manila Folders       18 38 .321  16

No doubt, there have been some pretty bad teams that did not finish in last place over the years. Indeed, on three occasions (85-86, 87-88 and 88-89) two teams finished at the bottom with identical records. But as always ties are broken based on head-to-head competition, and what better way to settle last place once and for all? I’d say this is a pretty fair representation of the worst SOMBILLA teams ever. The creme de la creme (or crap de la crap).

So, have there been any great performances from this motley collection of SOMBILLA teams? Well, we only started keeping real stats for the league beginning in 1984, but I can say with a fair amount of certainty there wasn’t a single good performance from either of the two ND teams that were spectacularly bad during the SOMBILLA’s infancy.

Fred Lynn of Eric’s ‘83-84 Marakesh Express was the first notable bad team high achiever, winning the league batting crown that year at .324 (that team also holds the record for being the best last-place team ever, finishing with a respectable .460 winning percentage). You have to shoot ahead 7 years to find another great performance – Robin’s Glenn Davis is still the only player to lead the league in homers for a last place team (19). Kenny Lofton was a stolen base leader for Jeff’s last place team in ‘96-97 (he had 19). The ‘99-00 Constantinople team had the only pitcher to lead the league in a major category from a last place team – he had 11 saves. The ill-fated BiG DiG team of ‘01-02 had Vlad Guerrero leading the league with a sparkling .754 slugging average. And finally, last season, Ichiro piled up 16 stolen bases to give the last-place Folders a league-leader. Some pretty lame performances in the long history of the league.

The following is my best shot at the SOMBILLA’s all-time best performance for a last place team all-star team (I tried to stick to regulars, and not pick some shmuck who hit .380 in 32 at bats):

Pos. Name         Team    Ave   HR   BI Comments

1B Frank Thomas 97-98 BC .317   17   42
2B Bret Boone   95-96 MW .335    5   27
SS Cal Ripken   90-91 BC .286    6   30
3B Chipper Jones96-97 MW .249   15   41
3B George Brett 86-87 SA .295   10   29 Sentimental backup
LF Kal Daniels  88-89 BC .311    8   27 Platoon player, only 122 AB
CF Fred Lynn    84-84 ME .324   10   34 Batting leader, gold glover, 50 games
RF V. Guerrero  01-02 BD .366   18   52 .754 SLG to lead league
C  Gary Carter  86-87 SA .240   15   30
DH Kevin Millar 02-03 MF .342   12   51
PH Jose Canseco 91-92 HB .265   18   39
PH Mo Vaughn    96-97 MW .288   17   37
PH Glenn Davis  90-91 BC .239   19   34
PH Julio Franco 91-92 HB .342    3   21
PH Tony Gwynn   87-88 SA .332    5   31 13 SB

                            W-L   ERA   SV

SP Jose DeLeon     92-93 AD 5-2   2.73
SP Len Barker      84-85 ME 6-4   3.57
SP Tom Browning    86-87 SA 7-7   3.36
SP A. Fernandez    97-98 BC 8-5   5.58
SP/RP S. Fernandez 90-91 BC 3-2   2.33   3
SP/RP Jim Beattie  84-85 ME 6-2   3.30   1
RP Niedenfuer      85-86 S3N3-2   2.19   2
RP Bruce Sutter    85-86 MF 2-0   2.20   2
RP Carman          86-87 SA 2-2   2.05   4
RP Tom Henke       88-89 BC 5-2   3.47   3
RP Jim Gott        94-95 CN 1-1   1.69   3
RP Uegeth Urbina   99-00 CN 1-4   1.51  11

Despite a plurality of the league against the concept of designing parks, we are still stuck with it. I was asked to do a study of the phenomenon of designing ballparks and whether this really leads to SOMBILLA extremism, whatever that means, and other heinous results.

First, a few facts. This misguided rule was voted in at the 2000 annual meeting. Thus, we’ve played 3 seasons under this regime.

• In the ‘00-01 season, only 2 of 9 teams, Jeff’s and Arnie’s, used ‘normal’ (i.e. ‘real’) ballparks.
• For ‘01-02, 3 of 9 teams used ‘normal’ parks, Robin, Jeff and Randy
• Last year, ‘02-03, 3 of 8 teams used normal parks, Robin, Jeff and Arnie

Is there any correlation to success? Well despite the fact that only 8 of the league’s 26 teams (31%) over that period have used normal parks over the past 3 years, 2/3 (67%) of the league’s championships have been won by teams with normal parks. Of the 8 teams using normal parks, 4 made the playoffs (50%), while 8 of the 16 teams (also 50%) with designed ballparks also made the playoffs. Indeed, the only season in the last 10 years that North Dakota did not make the playoffs, was the one year that the team played in a designed park. One could argue that taken together, these two facts show that once a team reaches the playoffs, its success depends largely on whether or not it plays in a designed or a normal park.

What about home advantage? Well, the home record for the 8 teams using normal parks over the past 3 years is 114-110 (.509). The home record for the abnormal parks was 261-241 (.520). Of course, there are other more important variables involved, like strength of team, to take any of these results too seriously. (That is, you could put together a team of Babe Ruth, Ty Cobb, Ted Williams, etc. and compare them in an abnormal park against a team full of Lou Merlonis in a normal park – or vice versa - well, you get the idea).

The two main criticisms of designing ballparks are that allowing so, has, counterintuitively, led to a lack of creativity in designing parks and ballpark extremism. The two are actually interrelated.

As far as creativity goes, in fairness, it’s interesting to note that in ‘01-02, two of the teams using normal parks, Jeff & Robin, played in the same ballpark (Chicago AL). The other team using a normal park that year, Randy, played in Colorado, which was the most extreme hitter’s park available for both sides.

Nevertheless, the lack of creatively in designing parks jumps out and hits you in the face. In ‘00-01, Tom, Harold, and Matt all played in the same designed park, which also happened to be the most extreme park favoring righties allowable.

In ‘00-01, 6 of the 7 teams that designed their park used at least one dimension in the extreme (either a 1-19, BP HR or S, 1-2 HR, or the largest spread allowed between lefty and righty), including the three mentioned above. In’ 01-02, 5 of 6 teams played in an extreme ballpark (under that definition), and the other team, arguably, played in the extreme average park (HR 1-10 both sides). And last year, again 5 of the 6 teams played in an extreme park. Thus, it’s an indisputable fact that designing parks has led to ballpark extremism. (And, as a correlation, when 84% of teams that design their parks do so with an extreme park, the league suffers from a lack of creativity.)

One of the responses to this fact is, "so what? Why is that a bad thing?" That’s a hard question to answer objectively. One could probably point to skewed home/away stats if we had such data, but we don’t. Although there seems to be no significant home field advantage (indeed, 2 of the 3 best home teams last year played in normal parks), we’re left with more subjectivity than objectivity. (If anyone has suggestions for data to look at in an objective study of this issue, I’d be happy to listen).

So, subjectively, I ask in response to "so what?" whether it is a good thing that 2 of the 6 designed parks last year had HR 1-19 for righties, and 2 others used HR 1-19 for lefties? Or that 4 of the 7 teams designing parks in ‘00-01 used 1-19 for righty homers? Is that creative? Would they all end up in Colorado (which, ironically, is now the absolute extreme this year, 1-19 for everything) if they couldn’t design such parks, as has been suggested? Given that all of these teams had significantly reduced HR for the non- 1-19 side, I don’t think so.

In short, it is indisputable that designing parks has led to extremism, and as a direct result of the quest for extremism, a lack of ballpark creativity. As to whether that’s good or bad, you’ll have to judge for yourself.

Addendum number 1 - by Eric
Thanks Arn. Another really nerdly terrific job. If the summer newsletters were to ever survive as the lone artifacts of humankind, I believe it to be a given that an alien race would never be able to decode our mysteries. Hell, it's tough enough for me, and I live at the center of a
dark, human mystery.
        Okay, let's talk about Summer Study No. 4 - Designing Ballparks. It's classic Arnstudy, both fair and biased, and filled with many ingenious parentheticals. The data since our conversion to designer parks seems to bear out Arnie's thesis that we are dull and un-inventive and perhaps even frightened by our own freedom to choose. I, of course, am never dull, almost always inventive, but predictably terrified and distrustful of my own freedom. But that doesn't mean I want structure imposed from with-out. I just need to get laid (but that's another dark, all-too-human mystery).
        I would embrace (if embrace is the right word, and if a parenthetical is indeed the right place to question word choice) (...and it probably is...) Arnie's critique if it included a similar study of the three years prior to the advent of designerism. But I fear the results would show that extremism and lack of creativity exists within the smaller selection of Stratparks, and that being given the freedom to design merely allows us to
mirror our own past choices. And then be smug about it, even if our team gets smoked at home. To wit: having scanned the available Stratparks for this year, only one seems to fill, in part, the criteria for my team as it exists now. I say "seems" because I am not an off-season in-putter of data or cruncher of numbers. It's too hot. The only thing I crunch is the ice in my rum and coke. And I say "in part", because while I like the lefty/righty homer differential of that Stratpark, I don't like the singles situation. (Which reminds me, I need to join a dating service.) Admittedly, though, I have no greater intuition or expertise today than other years in selecting
numbers for a park. It's a crap shoot. So...
        In New Hampshire, motorcyclists are not required by law to wear a helmets. Seems pretty stupid to me, but I don't ride a motorcycle. The law essentially says that if you're dumb enough to get on a hog without a helmet then you're smart enough to accept the consequences of your choice, even if you wipe out and wake up brain-dead.
        I think Arnie has given us good information to work with. He exposes our lack of creativity and shows that we are apt to give in to our sporting hormones and go for the cheap thrills of excess. He shows that we are more alike than different, which, if he were an anthropologist, sort of makes him the Louis Leakey of Strato.
        But as Arnie says, the problem is ultimately subjective. Would putting an end to designer parks increase creativity and limit extremism? Subjectively, and perhaps even objectively, I'd say it wouldn't.

Addendum number 2 - Arnie
Slicing through the introspective laments, musings, and assorted and sundry silliness, Eric responded to this summer's study on designing ballparks by agreeing with the conclusion that the league has not shown creativity in designing ballparks.
    To quote:  "I would embrace (if embrace is the right word, and if a parenthetical is indeed the right place to question word choice) (...and it probably is...) Arnie's critique if it included a similar study of the three years prior to the advent of designerism. But I fear the results would show that extremism and lack of creativity exists within the smaller selection of Stratparks, and that being given the freedom to design merely allows us to mirror our own past choices."
    Tsuan and Jeff weighed in that they agreed with Eric (although I'm not too confident that they understood exactly what they were agreeing to).  For example, Eric later noted that he did not like the singles situation of a particular ballpark, and in doing so, reminded himself that he has to join a dating service.  Were they agreeing with this observation as well.
    In any event, I have gone back to the three years prior to the league's adoption of designing ballpark abominations, er, dimensions.  I was able to determine 7 of the 9 parks from '97-98, 5 of 9 from '98-99 and 7 of 9 from '99-00.  Here are the results:

    '97-98:  3 teams played in Colorado (1-19 everything) that year - Matt, RAT, and Eric.  Harold played in the opposite - LA, which had HR 1-3 and S 1 for both sides.  Robin played in the most extreme park against lefties - HR L 1-2, R 1-8 (although it favored lefties for singles 1-14/1-9). ND was extremely average - 1-9 for everything.  CN, then managed by Brian, showed some creativity, LS 1-3, LHR 1-7, RS 1-9, RHR 1-12.

    '98-99:  Jeff and I both played in Cinci, the park which most favored lefties (HR 1-16 for L, 1-6 for R).  Harold played in a park that favored righties (1-8/1-3 HR) and (1-15/1-12 S).  Matt played in the park that most favored righties (HR 1-18/1-9), although this park, like Robin's the year before, favored lefties for singles (1-10/1-7).  Robin's park favored lefties (1-15/1-9 HR), but was even for S (1-11).

    '99-00:  Matt and RAT both chose Colorado, but note that Colorado that year had L HR 1-16, and R HR 1-19.  Robin chose an average park (HR 1-10).  Jeff and ND both chose parks that favored lefties, but differently (1-14/1-9 HR for Jeff, 1-11/1-3 HR for ND).  Both Harold and Eric chose parks with singles - 1.  Harold's HR was 1-5, while Eric had 1-9 L and 1-12 R.

    Observations:  Extremeism cannot be avoided.  In any year, most teams will seek out an extreme hitter's park, extreme pitcher's park or a park that favors one side heavily.  It is likely that 2 or more teams will choose the same park (but no more likely than with designing ballparks).  But, when forced to choose among the 50 'real' parks, there does seem to be more creativity.  Sometimes, an extreme park for HR is opposite for singles.  This forces extremists to either choose that 'mixed' park or choose a park that's less extreme, with different creative numbers.  Other times, with the notable exception of Colorado, the parks that are extreme for homers at one end, are not extreme or are average for singles.

    Conclusion:  Extremeism cannot be avoided.  I do believe there has been a noticable (but not large) decrease in creativity due to designing parks.

Comparing great SOMBILLA teams [7/02]

                          W   L   Pct  GB
‘01-02 Future Wax        98  70  .583  --
‘98-99 North Dakota      90  78  .536   8
‘97-98 Future Wax        90  78  .536   8
‘95-96 North Dakota      89  79  .530   9
‘99-00 North Dakota      86  82  .512  12
‘00-01 New Orleans       82  86  .488  16
‘94-95 White Visitation  73  95  .435  25
‘96-97 Finn’s People     64  104 .381  34

‘01-02 Future Wax d. ‘98-99 North Dakota 4 games to 0

Was last year’s Future Wax champion the greatest SOMBILLA team of all time? Now before we all jump on the ‘ridicule Eric’ bandwagon, let’s look at his champion teams more closely. That Finn’s People team was in fact a .500 team, finishing in 4^th place at 28-28. Eric was one game ahead of two teams tied for 5^th, 13 games behind Future Wax that year (41-15), before stunning FW and ND in the post-season. The computer only looks at these teams on paper. And on paper, that’s a .500 team. The White Visitation champions of 1995 also finished in 4 ^th place, and in fact, had to win a one-game playoff over Robin to earn the right to play more post season games. While I can program the computer with certain of Eric’s managerial tendencies ("Extreme Aggressive" relief usage for example), the computer cannot reproduce Eric’s great post-season managing abilities and inexplicable post-season karma. The computer blindly sees two 4^th place teams (including a .500 team) and thinks they’d get pounded by these other teams. Would they?

C  Piazza      ‘97-98 FW                       Piazza     ‘01-02 FW
1B Bagwell     ‘00-01 NO                       McGriff    ‘95-96 ND
2B Kent        ‘01-02 FW                       Biggio     ‘00-01 NO
3B Rolen       ‘98-99 ND                       Thome      ‘97-98 FW
SS Garciaparra ‘01-02 FW                       Larkin     ‘99-00 ND
LF Bonds       ‘97-98 FW                       Bonds      ‘01-02 FW
CF Griffey     ‘97-98 FW                       B Williams ‘98-99 ND
RF Ramirez     ‘00-01 NO                       Sheffield  ‘97-98 FW
P Clemens      ‘99-00 ND                       Nomo       ‘96-97 FP
P Martinez     ‘01-02 FW                       Clemens    ‘98-99 ND
R Johnson      ‘95-96 ND                       R. Johnson ‘98-99 ND
Wagner         ‘00-01 NO                       Wetteland  ‘95-96 ND
Clemens        ‘95-96 ND                       Rojas      ‘97-98 FW
Hoffman        ‘99-00 ND                       S. Reed    ‘99-00 ND

Run no. 2

                          W   L  Pct  GB
‘01-02 Future Wax        99  61 .619  --
‘01-02 Constantinople    88  72 .550  11
‘98-99 North Dakota      87  73 .544  12
‘94-95 White Visitation  86  74 .538  13
‘00-01 New Orleans       83  77 .519  16
‘98-99 Metrowest         81  79 .506  18
‘94-95 Manila Folders    74  86 .463  25
‘91-92 Arkansas          64  96 .400  35
‘92-93 Bay City          58 102 .363  41

Playoffs

‘01-02 Future Wax d. ‘98-99 North Dakota 4 games to 0.

Was last year’s Future Wax champion the greatest SOMBILLA team of all time? Is there bias toward the more recent teams or are those teams just stronger? Well, given that both the White Visitation and New Orleans fared better in this league, than in the first run, I’d say that it’s just a question of the quality of the teams, not the year of the cards.

First team All-stars                      Second team All-stars

C Piazza       ‘97-98 FW                  Stanley ‘94-95 WV
1B Bagwell     ‘00-01 NO                  E Martinez ‘01-02 NO
2B Alfonzo     ‘01-02 CN                  Kent ‘01-02 FW
3B M Williams  ‘94-95 MF                  Fryman ‘01-02 FW
SS A Rodriguez ‘01-02 CN                  Ripken ‘92-93 BC
LF Sheffield   ‘01-02 FW                  Belle ‘94-95 MF
CF Dykstra     ‘94-95 WV                  Griffey ‘01-02 FW
RF Ramirez     ‘00-01 NO                  L Walker ‘98-99 MW
P Clemens      ‘99-00 ND                  G White ‘01-02 CN
P Martinez     ‘01-02 FW                  Maddux ‘01-02 FW
R Johnson      ‘95-96 ND                  Rijo ‘94-95 MF
Wagner         ‘00-01 NO                  Wetteland ‘98-99 ND
Park           ‘01-02 CN                  Hentgen ‘98-99 MW
McMichael      ‘94-95 WV                  Hudson ‘01-02 CN

Run no. 3

• Cirllio, ND 1996 card over BC 2000 and MF 1998 cards

• Glavine, Gawd B 1998 card chosen over the NO 1997 and MW 1996 cards

• Mussina, BiG DiG 1997 over MW 1999

• Nen, 2000 NO over CN 1998

• I Valdes, 1996 MW over CN 1997

• M Vaughn, 1998 ND over MW 1996

• M Williams, FW 1999 over MF 1997

• Wendell, 1996 MW over GB 1998

                    W   L  Pct  GB
New Orleans       115  45 .719  -
Future Wax         95  65 .594  20
North Dakota       95  65 .594  20
Gawd B             88  72 .550  27
Constantinople     75  85 .469  40
BiG DiG            70  90 .438  45
Manila Folders     66  94 .413  49
Bay City           62  98 .388  53
Area 51           54  106 .338  61

 
Playoffs

Future Wax d. North Dakota 4 games to 1
New Orleans d. Gawd B 4 games to 2

New Orleans d. Future Wax 4 games to 2

I think what this shows, unequivocally, is that Harold has had the most depth, by far, of any team in the league over the past 5 years. Or at least more of his players had great years between 1996 and 2000 than any other team. The funny thing is, only 4 of Harold’s 25-man roster were from his champion team of 2000-2001 (1999 cards). The breakdown:

1996: Grissom, Hundley, Percival, Rivera

1997: Al. Benes, Biggio, Erickson, D. Jones, Schilling, Spiers

1998: Alou, Harnisch, Leiter, C Wilson

1999: Bagwell, R Cedeno, Vizquel, Wagner

2000: Glaus, Hidalgo, Jenkins, E. Martinez, Nen, Posada, Ramirez

C  Piazza FW                             I Rodriguez BC
1B McGwire MF                            Bagwell NO
2B Biggio NO                             R Alomar ND
3B Glaus NO                              Castilla FW
SS A Rodriguez CN                        Larkin ND
LF Bonds FW                              Burks CN
CF Hidalgo NO                            Edmonds MF
RF Sosa BC                               Sheffield FW
P Clemens ND                             Hoffman ND
P Martinez FW                            R Johnson ND
Foulke GB                                Smoltz BD
Wagner NO                                D Jones NO
Schilling NO                             Williamson FW
Rivera NO                                Millwood GB

Tom expressed an interest in having the historical record of all of the cut lists on record (which circulate as one big stack on draft day, and go back to 1989) and have them posted on the website. So this is really more of a historical data dump than a true study, although certain interesting facts can be gleaned. For example, who has been cut the most times? This is clearly an inexact science as some people literally put on their cut list – "Smith" or "Jones" or "Wilson, etc – and I refuse to go back and try and figure out who such person is (even if that would be theoretically possible.). As best I can tell no one has been cut four times. The following players have been cut thrice: Rick Aguilera, Stan Belinda, Mark Eichhorn, Joe Girardi, Lonnie Smith, Dick Schofield, Todd Stottlemyre, and Dave Valle. This also answers the question of who has been drafted the most times (except for any three-timers who are still in the league, like Jeromy Burnitz). But like death and taxes, inevitably, all players, even Cal Ripken himself, end up on the cut list [unless of course they are contracted out of existence]).