Chapter 4

I peed in the bed Tuesday night. I woke up soaking wet Wednesday morning. Mom was standing at the bedroom door yelling for me and Freddie to get up and get ready for school, quick, because we’d both overslept, and the bus was gonna be coming in about ten minutes.

I jumped up and ran into the bathroom to wash up a little bit, and that’s when I remembered about my hair from last night, when I first looked in the mirror. It looked like shit. Mom had really done a number on it. I felt like crying. I didn’t know what else to do. I didn’t want to go to school looking like that. I thought about wearing my baseball cap all day, but they don’t allow you to wear a hat inside the school, so I knew that was out of the question. I was standing there trying to figure out what I was gonna do, when Mom started pounding on the door, yelling at me to hurry up, because Freddie needed to get in there, too, and she didn’t want us to miss the bus, because she didn’t want to have to drive us all the way in to Rustburg herself.

I didn’t have time to tend to my wet sheets, of course. They’d be waiting for me when I got home. And I didn’t get to eat breakfast or read the baseball scores or the daily text. All I could do was throw on my clothes and run out the front door and down the driveway, to catch the bus, which I could hear coming up the hill when I got down there. I felt like running on across the road and into the woods and hiding there all day, where nobody’d be able to see me and my stupid hair cut. But I didn’t.

I got on the bus and sat down beside Danny. He looked at me and said, “What the hell happened to you?”

I said, “What did Pete do last night?”

He said, “One for four. Scored a run. One RBI. Got hit by a pitch. But what the hell happened to you?”

I didn’t want to tell Danny or anybody else the truth about what had happened to my hair, because if I did, everybody’d just think I was a little sissy, for having to do what my mama told me all the time. Even though it was true, I didn’t want people to know it. So I made up something right there on the spot. I said, “You’re not gonna believe it, but I was doing my homework late last night, you see, and I was chewing on this big wad of bubble gum while I was doing my homework, and I must have fallen asleep with it in my mouth, and it must have fallen out of my mouth while I was asleep, and I must have rolled over on it or something, because I woke up this morning and it was stuck in my hair, all up in my bangs everywhere.”

Danny said, “Really?”

I said, “Yeah, and I couldn’t get it out of my hair. I tried washing it out and combing it out and brushing it out, but it just got stuck worse and worse, the more I tried getting it unstuck. So finally I just said the hell with it, and grabbed a pair of scissors and whacked it out. I know it looks like shit, but what else could I do?”

Danny said, “I guess that’s about all you could do. What a bummer, man. Actually, the same thing happened to me once, when I was a little kid, I think when I was about five. My mom had to cut a big wad out of the back of my head.”

That’s about all that was said about it. I thought it was a pretty good story, especially since I’d just made it up on the spot like that. And it must have been pretty believable, because Danny seemed to go for it. So I decided right then and there that that was gonna be my story for the rest of the day. I wasn’t looking forward to having to tell it over and over, but I knew I was gonna have to. I had no choice, really.

Of course, as soon as I got to school and Wendall and Wallace saw me, they started laughing at me, and asking me what happened, and making jokes about it, and giving me a hard time and all, which didn’t do anything but make me feel even more self-conscious. All through homeroom they kept tapping me on the shoulder and saying, “Hey Warren, you want some gum?” And, “Hey Warren, you got any extra gum?” But I just laughed along with them, and tried to be cool about it, trying to act like it didn’t bother me any. Even though it did.

Things got a little bit better when I went to first period. First of all, I found out Lamar Jackson wasn’t at school again that day, which made two days in a row he’d missed, which was fine by me. And then Miss Hiller didn’t give us a quiz on the last chapter of Slaughterhouse-Five, like she had threatened to the day before. She said that since the last chapter was only about six pages long, she’d have a hard time coming up with more than a couple of questions about it. I was really glad about that. I’d never gotten around to reading it in homeroom. So instead of giving us a quiz, she read the whole last chapter to us out loud, which was nice.

But the best thing from first period was something Miss Hiller said to me at the end of class. You see, I noticed she kept looking at me kinda funny, the whole time she was reading to us, and afterwards, when we were discussing the chapter and all. I could tell she was trying to figure out what the deal was with me sitting there with my hand up against my forehead, trying to hide my hair. So after the bell rang to end the period, I went up to her and took my hand away from my forehead and showed her what was left of my bangs, and told her what happened. Not what really happened, of course, but the bubblegum lie I made up. I think she believed it, too. She said, “Oh Warren, that’s too bad. I’m so sorry. But it’s really not that noticeable. And it’ll grow back before you know it. Don’t worry, it’ll be okay. Don’t worry.”

That made me feel a little bit better, when she told me that, even though I knew it was pretty noticeable, because so far everybody’d noticed it. But just the same, it’s nice when somebody tries to say something nice to you, to make you feel better about something they know is bothering you, to cheer you up some. It’s nice when somebody shows some true concern for you, sometimes. That’s the way Miss Hiller always is. That’s one of the things I like about her.

Every period during the day, somebody’d ask me what happened to my hair, and I’d tell them the same old lie, and they’d usually laugh, the same way Wallace and Wendall did, and make some kind of joke about it. I felt like a freak. I tried to hide it as much as I could, my hair I mean. During class, I’d sit with my forehead resting in my hand, and with my face down, so that my chopped up bangs were hidden. But really I think it only drew more attention to myself. People always seem to know when you’re trying to hide something, for some reason. And even if I could hide it some in class, there was no way to hide it between classes, when I was walking down the hallway. All I could do was just walk with my head down as much as possible and try to hide my whole face, which only made it hard to see where I was going. I bumped right into Timmy Drummond one time, when I was coming down the stairs after second period Typing class. He’s the guy I told you about that all the girls think is the cutest guy in the world because he has this perfect long blonde hair. He’s really stuck up about it, too, like I mentioned before. When I bumped into him, he looked at me and laughed and said, “Nice doo.” He’s such a pompous bastard. I hate him.

Of course, what I was really dreading all day, was having Ginny see me in the shape I was in, and having to tell her the whole story, too. You see, for some reason she didn’t come to where I was hanging out in the hallway before homeroom that morning, like she had the day before, so the first time she’d get a chance to see me would be in fifth period Art class. I was really feeling strange about it. In one way I couldn’t wait to see her, with her actually being my girlfriend now and everything. But in another way, I was kinda dreading it. I didn’t really want her to see me looking like that, like I was some kind of clown or something. Especially considering what she’d said to me a couple of days before that, about her wishing I’d grow my hair out like James Taylor, because she thought I’d look cute with long hair like him. I was scared she’d take one look at me and decide she didn’t really want to be my girlfriend after all. I wouldn’t blame her any, if she did that.

When fifth period finally came around, I got to the Art room before Ginny did, so I was sitting there at our table waiting for her. She walked in and smiled at me and said, “Hi, Footboy.” But then she kinda stopped in her tracks and gave me a second look, when she saw that something about me was strange.

I said, “Don’t say it, I know, I know. I gotta tell you what happened, and you’re not gonna believe it. But please don’t laugh at me, okay?” So I told her the whole made-up story, and at first she didn’t laugh, but the more I told her, the closer she got to laughing, until finally she couldn’t hold it back any more, so she busted out and laughed and laughed.

She said, “I’m sorry, Warren. I’m not laughing at you, really I’m not. It’s just, I don’t know, funny, somehow. I’m sorry. Please don’t be mad at me for laughing about it.”

I said, “I look pretty stupid, I know.”

She said, “Well, don’t worry about it, it wasn’t your fault really, it could have happened to anybody.” Then she started laughing again.

I said, “But why me? Stuff like this is always happening to me. I don’t understand it. I was afraid you’d see me and tell me to get lost, that you didn’t want to be my girlfriend any more, after just one day.”

She said, “Don’t be crazy. It’s no big deal. You’re still a cutey in my book. It’ll grow out and look like it used to. Sooner or later. And who knows, maybe your father will let you grow it out even longer. Did you ask him?”

“No. It wouldn’t do any good to ask him.”

“That’s too bad. Oh, well. Maybe someday.”

“I doubt it,” I said. “But I’ll tell you something, if I had my way, I’d grow it out as long as Patrick Simmons.”

Ginny said, “Who is Patrick Simmons?”

“He’s a Doobie Brother. He plays the guitar. He’s got about the longest hair of any guy I’ve ever seen. It’s halfway down his back.”

Ginny said, “Oh, no! Not the Doobie Brothers! I should have known! Those guys look kinda scummy, if you ask me.”

“Hey, they’re not scummy. What makes you say something like that?”

“I don’t know. I guess because I was looking at one of their album covers one time, and on the inside of it there was this big picture of all of them sitting around somebody’s living room or something, with their wives or girlfriends or whatever, and they were all naked, sitting there. You couldn’t really see anything, the way the picture was taken. I mean, nothing was really showing, if you know what I mean. But a couple of the girl’s tops were hanging out.”

“Yeah, that’s ‘Toulouse Street.’ I’ve got that album.”

“I don’t know why, but they all just seemed a little scummy, to me, in that picture, that’s all. And they all had creepy looking grins on their faces, too.”

“Well, I think they’re pretty cool. In fact, if I could be anybody in the whole world that I wanted to be, I’d be Tom Johnston.”

“Who’s he?”

“He happens to be the other guitar player in the Doobie Brothers, the lead guitarist, and the lead singer. And he also happens to be the coolest guy in the world, as far as I’m concerned. Or maybe Pete Rose, I wouldn’t mind being him, either.”

Ginny said, “Really?”

“Yeah. Definitely. Either Tom Johnston or Pete Rose. One of those two. Who would you be, if you could be anybody you wanted to be, in the whole world?”

“I wouldn’t be anybody else. Just Me. I like being me, just fine.”

“You mean you’ve never ever wished you were somebody else before, or thought about what it’d be like, being somebody else?”

“No, not really.”

“Wow. That’s hard to believe. I do it all the time. I could probably think of at least a thousand people I’d rather be.”

We worked on our art stuff and listened to a tape somebody had brought in. I don’t remember who was on the tape, Bread or Three Dog Night or somebody like that. Mr. Michaels plays those tapes a lot. I was sitting there with my head down and my left hand held over my forehead, like I’d been doing all day in all my classes. I guess it was already a habit for me to sit like that. After a while Ginny said, “Hey, I meant to tell you yesterday, if you want to call me up at night sometime, you can. But just keep in mind Daddy won’t let me talk real long on the phone. I get ten minutes per call, which ain’t much. And I can only have three calls a night. Daddy’s pretty strict on me, you know. But you can call, if you want to. We just won’t be able to talk very long, that’s all.”

I said, “Okay. I was thinking about calling last night. I was going to, but I didn’t know your number. And I didn’t know your father’s name, so I couldn’t look it up.” I was lying again, of course. I’d been at the Kingdom Hall last night, and besides, I knew good and well it would be almost impossible for me to call Ginny from my house, anyway. Our phone is in the kitchen, where everybody can hear everything you say when you’re talking on the phone. If Mom caught me calling a worldly girl, all hell would break loose.

Ginny got out an ink pen and grabbed my arm. “Daddy’s name is Thomas,” she said, writing her number on the back of my left hand, “but now you won’t have to look it up!”

It was getting close to time for the period to end, so we packed up our art stuff and sat there waiting for the bell to ring. We talked some about her birthday party, while we were waiting. She told me who all was gonna be there. Mostly some of her eighth-grade friends. And some of her cousins, from Lynchburg or somewhere. She was still plenty excited about it.

“And don’t forget to bring your swimming suit,” she said.

“My swimming suit? What for?”

“Because everybody’s gonna go swimming. In the pool.”

“What pool?”

“The pool in my backyard.”

“You’ve got a swimming pool in your backyard? Really?”

“Yeah. It’s no big deal, though.”

“Man. Sounds like a pretty big deal to me. Man, you’re the only person I know of that’s got a pool. That must be really cool.”

“It’s pretty nice, I guess. It’s not one of those giant olympic size swimming pools or anything like that, but it’s big enough. It’s pretty nice.”

“Man. What does your father do for a living, anyway?”

“He works for a big insurance company. We’re not rich or anything, though, just because we’ve got a swimming pool in our backyard, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“No, that’s not what I was trying to say. But it must be nice, to be able to go swimming anytime you wanted to, in the summer.”

“Yeah. You wanna know something? One time last summer I caught my sister and her boyfriend skinny dipping!”

“I didn’t know you had a sister.”

“Yeah. She’s in college. She’s a lot older than me. They gave me twenty dollars for promising not to tell Daddy on them.”

“Man.”

“Yeah, and I also found out what big boys look like, too, if you know what I mean.” She kinda poked me in the arm when she said that. “And Karen’s boyfriend is a big boy, let me tell ya.”

Then the bell rang. We grabbed our stuff and headed out into the hallway. Like an idiot, I was gonna just say goodbye and head on down the hall to gym class, but Ginny grabbed me by the arm and said, “Well, I guess I’ll talk to you tonight?”

“Yeah, sure.” I kinda stood there in the hallway, looking at her, not knowing if I was supposed to do anything or not. She was still holding on to my arm. I didn’t know if she wanted me to try to kiss her goodbye or anything. I’d never kissed a girl in the hallway at school before, or anywhere else for that matter. Ginny was my first girlfriend ever.

“Okay. Bye, now.” She crossed over in front of me, like she was getting ready to walk off on down the hall. But then she reached over and kissed me on the cheek, real quick like, which really took me by surprise. I didn’t know what to do or say. So I just stood there and watched her as she walked away.

When she was about ten feet away, she turned around and gave me another big smile, and called out, “Just don’t forget to bring your swimming suit Saturday.” She took a few more steps, then said, “We’ll have to save the skinny dipping for later, big boy.” Then she kinda rolled her eyes and smiled again and took off down the hall.

Well, I wasn’t really sure what to make of it all, Ginny’s kiss and what she’d just said about skinny dipping. But I’ll tell you one thing for sure, I was feeling happy as hell. Mainly because Ginny hadn’t laughed in my face and told me to drop dead when she saw how Mom had botched up my hair. And the more I thought about what she’d said about the skinny dipping, the more I realized she must have really liked me, a lot, which was a real first for me. So I was feeling pretty good for the rest of the school day, to say the least. I spent the whole time on the bus ride home trying to figure out a way I could make it to Ginny’s party on Saturday. I couldn’t come up with anything, though. I knew I was doomed to go to the Circuit Servant’s special meeting at the Kingdom Hall on Saturday night, and that was that.

Mom wasn’t at home when we got off the school bus. She’d left me and Freddie a note saying she was gonna be back in a little while, she’d gone out in Field Service with the Circuit Servant’s wife and a bunch of the other Sisters at the Kingdom Hall. And she left us a list of stuff to do before she got home. She told me to wash up my pissy sheets from last night and read the daily text and make sure to get all my homework done. She told Freddie to make sure I did what I was supposed to do. She told us not to forget that we had the special meeting at the Kingdom Hall to go to. I hadn’t forgotten. She said we’d just have sandwiches for supper.

Well, as soon as Freddie read the note, he started bossing me around left and right and telling me what all I had to do, because of what Mom had said in the note. “First of all,” he said, “I want you to take your sheets downstairs and throw them in the washing machine. Then I want you to come back upstairs and read the daily text, out loud, the way Mom always makes you do. Then I want you to start on your homework.” He’d turned into a regular Barney Fife all of a sudden.

“Listen,” I said, “First of all, you’re not my boss, I don’t care what Mom’s note said. Okay? And second of all, I already know I have to wash up my sheets, so I don’t need you telling me when I gotta do it. Okay? Third of all, I’m gonna read the daily text when I’m good and ready to read it. And I’m definitely not gonna read it out loud to you. Okay? And fourth of all, I don’t have any homework, so I’m going down to Danny’s house for a little while.”

“Oh no you’re not. That’s not on Mom’s list. She didn’t say you could go to Danny’s house.”

“Well, she didn’t say I couldn’t, did she?”

“No, but she didn’t say you could, either.”

“So don’t worry about it.”

I grabbed the sheets off my bed and ran them downstairs and put them in the washing machine. I figured they could be washing up while I was down at Danny’s house. Then I could put them in the dryer when I got back, and I could put them back on my bed whenever I got around to it.

When I got back upstairs, Freddie was standing there in the living room with the 1975 Yearbook of Jehovah’s Witnesses in his hand, holding it out towards me and waving it back and forth. So I snatched it out of his hand and sat down on the couch and started reading the day’s text, to myself.

Freddie said, “No, sir, you gotta read it out loud. To me.”

I said, “Forget it. You’re not my mom, so get lost.” I kept reading to myself.

Freddie shoved me on the shoulder and said, “I said you gotta read it out loud, the way Mom always makes you, and I mean it. That’s what the note said.”

“The note didn’t say anything about me reading the text out loud to you, so go away and leave me alone, okay?”

But he just wouldn’t leave me alone. He shoved me again. I told him to stop it and leave me alone again. But he kept on shoving me and telling me to read it out loud.

Finally I threw the book down and stood up and shoved him back, which was a stupid thing to do, because Freddie is right much bigger than me. He pushed me down on the floor and twisted my right arm up behind my back and started screaming at me to read it out loud to him or he was gonna break my arm. Jesus, it was almost like he was possessed all of a sudden or something. I kept trying to push him off me, so I could get back up on my feet, but he was laying right on top of me, holding me down and screaming, “READ IT OUT LOUD! READ IT OUT LOUD!” He was really starting to hurt my arm, and it was my throwing arm, too. I thought he really was gonna break it. And his weight was starting to crush me and I felt like I couldn’t breathe or anything.

Finally I yelled, “Alright, alright, get off me, you stupid bastard. I’ll read it out loud, just get off me.”

He got off me and let me get back up. I picked up the damn text book and turned back to the stupid text and started reading it out loud. But I didn’t really read it in a normal way, like I did when I read it out loud to Mom. I yelled out each word, as loud as I could:

A true companion is loving all the time, and is a brother that is born for when there is distress. Proverbs 17:17.

The parent who watches for things to talk about with his children and shows a genuine willingness to discuss just about any subject will not find the lines of communication closing down but will find them constantly open and humming with messages that tell him what he needs to know, and that contribute to warmth and understanding in family relationships. But will children go to parents with big problems if the parents do not listen to little problems, assisting in the solving of them and in a way that reflects kindness and understanding? Do you have a friend you trust and in whom you have confidence, one you could go to with a serious problem, knowing that he will take time to listen to all you have to say and will not look down on you just because you have this problem? If so, then you have the kind of friend mentioned in Proverbs 17:17. Every child should feel that his father is just such kind of friend to him.

When I was finished yelling it out loud and all, I said, “There now, are you happy? Was that loud enough for you?” I threw the Yearbook down again. “Now I’m going to Danny’s.”

I put on my baseball cap and ran out the door and jumped on my bike and headed down to Danny’s house. Freddie threw open the front door and yelled, “You better straighten up, buddy-boy!” But I didn’t yell anything back at him or even turn around and look.

The whole way down to Danny’s I was wondering what it would be like, to have someone like the text was talking about, that would listen to your problems and try to help you with them. A father or a mother like that, or a brother like that. I had a long list of problems, that’s for sure. Like the thing with Ginny, her being my secret girlfriend and all, and me promising her I’d call her up on the phone tonight, and be at her birthday party on Saturday, and bring my swimming trunks to swim in her pool, all of which I knew was gonna be impossible. And there was the thing with Lamar Jackson, who was hell bent on kicking my ass and generally tormenting me all the time, for some reason. He hadn’t been at school for the last couple of days, but something told me I wouldn’t be that lucky for the rest of the year. Then there was the thing that Mom did to my hair, and the fact that it made me look like an even bigger scrawny little useless pussy boy than I already looked like before. And last but not least was the fact that Armageddon was only about four months away, and getting closer every day, and I was gonna be destroyed then just like all the other worldly kids I knew, because my heart was still in such a sorry condition and all. I knew Jehovah was gonna really lower the boom on me at Armageddon, because of all the blood I’d have on my hands, because I wasn’t out there trying to warn the kids at school or anybody else about what was soon to take place, preaching the good news of the Kingdom to them, trying to save them before it was too late. Jesus, it’s hard enough to even save yourself sometimes, much less anybody else.

And now on top of all that, I had to worry about whether or not Freddie was gonna tell Mom about the little fight we just had and that I’d called him a stupid bastard. I didn’t care, really. It was just one more thing, that’s all.

When I got down to Danny’s house, we threw the baseball around in his backyard for awhile. Then we sat out on his picnic table in the shade and talked. He asked me if I was gonna try to make a move on Mrs. Harrelson after I cut her grass Saturday. I told him I hadn’t decided yet. Then he saw where Ginny had written her phone number on the back of my hand, and he asked me about that, so I told him.

“The problem is,” I said, “there’s no way in hell I’ll ever get to call her, because of the way things are at my house. You know.” I really didn’t have to say any more than that, because Danny knew about the Witness thing and all, and how weird it all was. So I was glad I didn’t have to do any explaining about it.

Danny said, “Well, hell, why don’t you call her right now, on our phone? There’s nothing that says you gotta wait till tonight, is there? Come on, my parents won’t be home for another hour or so.”

Well, I thought that was a great idea. So we went inside and I called Ginny up. I told her I was calling so early because I just couldn’t wait until later to talk to her. She said that was a sweet thing for me to say. She asked me what I’d been doing, and I told her I’d been going through my closet looking for my swimming trunks, for Saturday. She told me a few more things about her party, and we talked about school a little bit. Then all of a sudden she said she was sorry but her ten minutes were up, about three minutes ago, and she really wanted to talk to me a lot longer, but those were her father’s rules and she hoped I understood, and I said sure, no problem. So I said goodbye, and she said, “goodbye cutey, I’ll see ya tomorrow!” And that was it.

After I hung up I said, “Thanks, Danny, I really appreciate it. Really.”

Danny said, “Any time, War-O.”

I rode my bike back up to the house. I spit on my hand along the way, and wiped off Ginny’s phone number, so Mom wouldn’t see it or anything. It was about six o’clock and Mom still wasn’t home yet, but she got home about five minutes later, while I was downstairs moving my sheets from the washer over into the dryer. I was dreading going back upstairs, because I could hear Freddie telling her all about our little fight, and about me calling him a bastard, and about me going down to Danny’s house after he told me I couldn’t go, and all that stuff, just like I knew he would.

When I got back upstairs, Mom said I couldn’t go down to Danny’s house for a whole week, as punishment for what happened between me and Freddie. When I tried to say something to defend myself, she told me to just shut up, she didn’t want to hear it. Then she said, “Did you read the text like I told you to?”

I said, “Yes, ma’am.”

“And where was it taken from?”

“Proverbs 17:17.”

“And what was it about?”

“How parents should listen to their kid’s problems, and how fortunate you are if you’ve got a friend that will listen to your problems.”

She said, “Okay. Good. Now take your hat off while you’re in the house, how many times do I have to keep telling you that?”

Mom fixed us some sandwiches for supper, and I washed up the dishes when we were finished eating, but it didn’t take very long because there were just a few glasses and knives and forks and stuff. I even had time to get my sheets out of the dryer and put them back on my bed. They finished drying about quarter to seven. We had to be leaving for the Kingdom Hall by seven o’clock, because the meeting would be starting at seven-thirty.

Well, we all got in the car at seven o’clock, and Mom was just starting to back down the drive way, when somebody pulled in right behind her. She said, “Now who in the world could that be?” I could tell she was gonna be aggravated, if somebody made us late for the meeting. I turned around and looked, and it was Grandpa Hollins! He was in a different car from the one he had the last time we saw him.

I yelled out, “It’s Grandpa Hollins!”

And Mom said, “What’s he doing here?”

I was getting ready to jump out of the car, but Mom told me to stay where I was. Grandpa Hollins got out of his car and walked up to Mom’s window and said, “Hey, everybody! Surprise!”

Mom rolled down her window and said, “Dad, what are you doing here?”

Grandpa Hollins said, “Well, Betty, I’m sorry I didn’t call first and tell you I was gonna be passing through, but I just thought it’d make a nice little surprise to drop by for a day or two. I decided to take a few weeks off and drive down to Florida and do some fishing with one of my old war buddies that’s retired down there.”

He ducked his head into Mom’s window and said, “Hi there, Freddie. Hi there, Warren. How my boys doing?”

I said, “Hi Grandpa! I’m doing great!” I guess I was so glad to see him that I’d forgotten all my stupid problems for a minute or so.

Freddie kinda mumbled a hello or something.

Grandpa Hollins said, “Gosh, I guess it’s been a couple of years since the last time I was here, huh? These boys have really grown. Look at you two! Get out of that car and let me take a good look at you.”

Mom said, “Dad, it’s really nice to see you again, but we were just on our way to the Kingdom Hall, and if we don’t hurry up, we’ll be late.”

Grandpa Hollins said, “Oh. The Kingdom Hall.”

Mom said, “Yes, the Kingdom Hall.”

Grandpa Hollins said, “Well, I thought your meetings were on Thursday nights. This is Wednesday, ain’t it?”

Mom said, “Yes it is, but we’re having special meetings every night this week, and it’s very important that we attend each and every one of them.”

Grandpa Hollins said, “You can’t miss just this one meeting, just this once, and spend some extra time with your dear old dad?”

Mom said, “No, I’m sorry, we can’t.”

“Not one damn meeting? I was kinda hoping I could do something with the boys tonight, take them into town or something.”

Mom said, “No. They’re both going to the Kingdom Hall with me. Now you’re welcome to go on inside the house and fix yourself a sandwich, and rest up a while, and we’ll be back home in a couple of hours. If you want to.”

Grandpa Hollins didn’t look too happy about that. He kinda shook his head and said, “Well, okay, if that’s the way it’s gotta be. I guess I’ll just have to go sit in the house, all by myself. I suppose Les is at work, still working that second shift.”

Mom said, “Yes, he is.”

“Well, okay, then. You guys go and enjoy your little meeting at the Kingdom Hall. I’ll be here when you get back.”

Mom said, “Goodbye. We’ll be back after while.” Then she backed on down the driveway, around Grandpa Hollins’s car, and we rode on off to the Kingdom Hall.

The whole way into town, Mom didn’t say a word about Grandpa Hollins showing up unexpected like that. When we were about halfway to the Kingdom Hall, I said something like, “I wish we could’ve stayed home with Grandpa Hollins.” I didn’t say it very loud, but more like I was muttering to myself in the back seat or something. But I knew I shouldn’t have said it, because as soon as I did, Mom shot me a mean look in her rear view mirror, and said, “Shut up, Warren.”

And then Freddie said, “I’d rather be at the Kingdom Hall, myself.”

Well, the reason Freddie said that is because he doesn’t really like Grandpa Hollins all that much, because of something that happened a couple of years ago, the last time Grandpa Hollins came to see us.

What happened was, Grandpa Hollins found out how much I loved baseball, and then he found out from reading the newspaper that Lynchburg had it’s own minor league baseball team, the Lynchburg Twins, and then he found out that me and Freddie had never been to see them play before. So he decided to take us to see the game that night. So me and Freddie and Grandpa Hollins got in his car and went into town to City Stadium, which happens to be located right across the street from the Kingdom Hall, by the way. We got there a few minutes early, and Grandpa bought us all a hotdog and a R.C. Cola and some peanuts, and I was really getting excited, waiting for the game to start. For one thing, it was the first time I’d ever been inside the stadium. I’d always wondered what it was like on the inside, after only seeing the outside walls for so long. You see, a lot of times during the summer, on Tuesday nights and Thursday nights, the Twins would be playing a home game, and when we’d walk out of the Kingdom Hall after the meetings, I’d see the stadium lights all lit up across the street, and hear people cheering and all. And when we drove by the front gate on the way home, I could see the parking lot full of cars and everything, but I couldn’t see the field or the stands or anything like that. So I always wondered what it was like inside there. And now I was actually there, sitting in the stands, and was finally gonna see my first real baseball game, live and in person, and it looked to me to be as nice as any stadium I’d ever seen on TV, only the stands were smaller.

The other thing I was really excited about was having the chance to see my favorite Lynchburg Twins player, who was the second baseman named Rob Wilfong. Of course I’d never seen him play before or anything, but I’d read about him in the newspaper and had seen his picture in there, and was trying to keep up with how he was doing. The reason he was my favorite was because he was the leadoff hitter and had a pretty good batting average, which is what I always try to do when I play ball with Danny and the other kids at Miller Park, be the leadoff hitter and get on base with singles and bunts and stuff, and keep my average up. I don’t ever play second base, though, because I can’t catch grounders, like I told you before.

Anyway, the Twins took the field at the top of the first inning, and I sat there watching Rob Wilfong out at second base taking practice grounders from the first baseman, whose name was Jim Obradovich, and I was all excited about everything, sitting there beside Grandpa Hollins, eating my hotdog, about to see my first real live baseball game at City Stadium. The announcer on the sound system had been announcing the starting lineups for both teams, then he said something like, “And now, to honor America, would you stand please, for the playing of our National Anthem.” So everybody in the whole stadium stood up, and Grandpa Hollins stood up and took off his hat, so I stood up and took off my hat, too, and the National Anthem came blaring out over the loudspeaker. After about the first line or so, Grandpa Hollins glanced over at Freddie, who was kinda behind him and a little bit to the side, and saw that Freddie hadn’t stood up for the National Anthem like everybody else had. So Grandpa reached down and grabbed him by the arm and pulled him up to his feet, and then turned back to face the flag, which was hanging on a pole out behind the fence in centerfield. He looked back at Freddie again a couple of seconds later, and saw that Freddie had sat back down. So Grandpa reached over and pulled him back up again. And Freddie sat right back down again, and this time folded his arms across his chest. Well, Grandpa Hollins pulled him right back up, and Freddie sat right back down. They did this about a hundred times, up and down and up and down, and people were starting to turn around to see what was going on, and I could tell that Grandpa was now pretty pissed off and had had about enough, because his face was turning real red, and he had that same look on his face that Mom gets when she’s pissed off. So he reached over and grabbed me by the arm and at the same time he reached back and grabbed Freddie by the arm, and he said, “Let’s go, boys.” The National Anthem wasn’t even over yet. And so Grandpa Hollins marched us back out the same front gate where we had just come in about twenty minutes before, just as the guy on the loudspeaker sang, “And the home, of the, brave.” And as Grandpa was putting us back into the car, I could hear everybody inside cheering because the game was getting ready to start, and I heard the announcer announce the name of the first batter for the visiting team.

The whole time Grandpa was pulling me along by my arm, out of the stadium and through the parking lot, I kept asking him, “What’s wrong, Grandpa? Why are we leaving? Why are we leaving?” But he didn’t say anything, or even look at either one of us, not until we were about halfway home. I guess he was trying to calm himself down or something, first. Then he asked Freddie why he had refused to stand for the National Anthem.

Freddie said, “Because the National Anthem is a song about the flag, and the flag is a symbol of the power of United States government, which is a worldly government, and the Bible says the only government we are to support is Jehovah’s heavenly government, which is a Theocracy. And also the Bible says we are not to bow down and worship any graven images or symbols, which is what the flag is. We don’t salute it either. Or pledge allegiance to it.”

“Well, hell, Freddie, nobody was asking you to bow down to the damn flag, or worship it, or salute it, or pledge allegiance to it, were they?”

“No, but standing at attention in front of it is the same thing.”

“No it’s not. Standing at attention and facing the flag during the National Anthem is just a show of respect. It’s just a way of showing that you’re thankful for living in a country as great as America, instead of some god-forsaken hell-hole on the other damn side of the world. Aren’t you at least thankful for that much, that you live in a free country?”

“Jesus said that we are to be no part of the world, just as he was no part of the world.”

“What the hell does that supposed to mean? You’re in this world, aren’t you? You gotta be a part of it.”

“But we don’t have to support it’s worldly governments. We must recognize Jehovah as sovereign of the universe, not any man-made government under the control of Satan the Devil.”

Grandpa Hollins said, “What the hell does the Devil have to do with the United States government?”

“He runs it. He runs every government in the world. That’s why we can’t support any of them.”

Grandpa Hollins shook his head and said, “Jesus Christ. I just don’t understand you people. You’re crazy.” He didn’t say anything else the rest of the way home. And I never said anything the whole time, either. I didn’t want Grandpa Hollins to be mad at me for anything.

Later that night I heard Grandpa Hollins and Mom arguing about what had happened at the ballgame. They were sitting at the kitchen table. I was supposed to be asleep on the couch in the living room, because Grandpa was sleeping in my bed while he stayed with us. But I was laying there wide awake, trying to listen to them. Mom kept saying the same things Freddie had already said before, about not worshipping worldly symbols like flags, and not supporting worldly governments, and being no part of the world, and all that standard Witness stuff. And Grandpa kept saying the same thing he’d already said to Freddie, about showing respect for the country and being thankful you’re an American and so on. He’d had a bunch of beers since we got back home, but of course Mom hadn’t.

I could tell things were kinda heating up in there, the way they were talking, and Grandpa was kinda raising his voice some. Finally, I heard Mom say something like, “Well, they’re my boys, and I’m gonna raise them like I see fit. I certainly don’t get any help from their father.”

Grandpa said something like, “Betty, honey, I’m not trying to tell you how to raise them boys. I just hate to see them raised to disrespect their own country, that’s all. It don’t make any sense to me. And what really kills me is, I put my ass on the line over there in Germany in World War II, fighting them goddam Nazis, trying to do my part to save this world and this country from the likes of Adolph Hitler, so that my children and my children’s children could always live in a free country, and goddammit, the United States of America is the greatest goddam country in the whole goddam world. And you just better believe it, too. I’ve been around this world and seen it all, so I know. Them damn Jehovah’s Witnesses should stop and appreciate that sometime, how they’re even free to be Jehovah’s Witnesses in this country, the way they are, in the first place. They all could’ve ended up in gas chambers or concentration camps somewhere, like the poor Jews and gypsies and Jehovah’s Witnesses over there in Germany did, before the United States of America went over there and blew them bastard Nazis to hell and finally put a stop to it all. Jesus Christ, when I think of some of my buddies I flew with over there...guys that weren’t lucky enough to make it back like I did...well, it just burns my ass, that’s what, to see how ungrateful my own family is. My own grandchildren not being taught to appreciate all the sacrifices that were made for them. It’s pretty goddam shitty.”

Mom said, “We’ve discussed this enough.”

Grandpa Hollins said, “You goddam right we have. More than enough. And I’m leaving first thing in the morning. I’d leave tonight, but I’m in no shape to drive.”

Mom said, “Do whatever you think you have to do. Goodnight.” Then she got up from the table and left the kitchen and walked through the living room where I was laying there on the couch, and went on back to her bedroom and shut the door.

When I got up the next morning, Grandpa Hollins was gone. Mom never said anything about why he’d left like that, at least not to me. She did yell at me and take my bike away for a week, after Freddie told her I had stood up for the playing of the National Anthem, the night before, at the baseball game I never got to see. I read in the newspaper the next morning that Rob Wilfong got three hits.

Anyway, getting back to that Wednesday night I was talking about. Like I told you, we left Grandpa Hollins sitting back at the house by himself, and me and Mom and Freddie went on to the special meeting at the Kingdom Hall. But to tell you the truth, I didn’t see anything special about the special meeting, not the way Brother Gottwald had talked it up the night before, when he told us his talks that week were gonna be special because they were all based on soon-to-be published Watchtower articles, which made it sound like he was gonna be revealing some kinda amazing new top secret revelations just recently uncovered by the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society. But it didn’t turn out to be anything like that. Really all it was was a bunch of the same old stuff everybody’d heard about and read about a million times before in the Watchtower and Awake magazines and the Truth book and every other old Witness book written since the Middle Ages.

Well, the topic was something like “How We Know God’s Government Will Take Control Soon,” and it basically talked about what Jesus said in Matthew 24, which was what my talk on Thursday night was gonna be about anyway, which I’ve already told you about. The thing is, I didn’t see why we had to be there on Wednesday night for two whole hours to cover practically the same stuff I was gonna be covering the very next night, and it was only gonna take me about five minutes to do it. But for some reason we did.

The whole meeting was just Brother Gottwald up there, going on and on about the “end sign” found in Matthew 24, where Jesus predicted that nation would rise against nation and there’d be food shortages and pestilences and earthquakes like never before. The main reason it took him two hours instead of just five minutes is because he went to the trouble of trying to back up everything he said by reading us a truck load of statistics from all these different worldly newspapers and magazines and encyclopedias and stuff, to prove that all those things in the “end sign” were happening in our own day more than they ever happened in the past. You see, zillions of people have been killed in wars in this century, and a bunch more killed in earthquakes and starved to death, too, for instance. And because all those things are happening right now, all at the same time, instead of in little isolated incidents here and there, the way they used to happen back in the old days, that’s one of the biggest things that proves the end is almost here. Because Jesus said, “When you see these things occurring, know that the kingdom of God is near.” So that’s how we know that God’s government will take control soon, more or less.

Well, finally after about forever, it looked like Brother Gottwald was just about finished with his special talk, which really made me glad, because I was dying to get back home to see Grandpa Hollins. But then Brother Gottwald got to going off on how fortunate we were, meaning all us Jehovah’s Witnesses, because we already knew God’s kingdom was about to take over, and we already knew that Armageddon was coming in October, so none of that was gonna take us by surprise, not like it was gonna surprise all the worldly people out there in the world, who were still in the dark about what was so soon to take place. And knowing all that we know, he said, should inspire us to dedicate our lives to Jehovah and his sovereign kingdom and get baptized, if we hadn’t already done so, and then spending as much of the remaining time till Armageddon going out in Field Service and preaching the good news of the kingdom, so that we wouldn’t wind up with destroyed people’s blood on our hands, come October.

“So, Brothers and Sisters,” Brother Gottwald said, “I urge one and all to use these last few remaining months before the end in October to good advantage, buying out the opportune time to serve Jehovah. Yes, let’s raise ourselves erect, and lift our heads up, because our deliverance is getting near.”

That pretty much sounded like the conclusion of the talk to me, but then he said, “Oh, one final thing before we end here tonight. Brother Harris has asked me if I would agree to conduct the first Eighty Questions meeting on Sunday afternoon, before my wife and I depart for our next assignment. And of course I said it would be my privilege to do so. So, for anyone contemplating baptism at the upcoming District Assembly, please come see me or Brother Harris sometime between now and Sunday afternoon, the sooner the better. Now let’s stand and sing together song number 84, ‘Recognizing Earth’s New King.’”

Well, that was just what I was afraid of, that he was gonna throw in all that baptism stuff somewhere in there, because I figured it would get Mom on my back about it again, because she had told me Sunday that I’d better be thinking about signing up for the Eighty Questions meetings and getting baptized at the Roanoke assembly at the end of June, which was only a few weeks away. I had pretty much spent the whole week trying not to think about it.

I guess now is as good a time as any to explain the whole Witness thing about getting baptized, and what the Eighty Questions meetings are all about. I’m sure you’re dying to know. So here goes.

Well, getting baptized is a really big deal for Jehovah’s Witnesses, I mean really big, because that’s what marks the time when you officially become a Jehovah’s Witness. Take me for instance, even though I’ve been raised as a Witness practically my whole life, and I’ve had to go to all the meetings and out in Field Service, and do all the things Witnesses have to do and not do all the things they’re not supposed to do, and believe in all the things they have to believe in, and not believe in all the things they’re not supposed to believe in, still I’m not officially considered a Witness by the congregation, because I haven’t gotten baptized yet. I’m what they call an “associated one,” which is what they call somebody who knows the Truth but hasn’t made the full commitment to it yet. There’s really no special time when a Witness kid like me is supposed to do it, either, like when you’re 12 or 13 years old or anything. In fact they usually like for you to be a little older than that, because of the fact that what you’re doing is agreeing to live the whole rest of your life in a certain way, so they want you to be good and sure you know what the hell you’re getting yourself into, because if you do become one and then fall out later, your ass could really be grass when the end finally comes, as far as they’re concerned. You’d probably be better off never joining, than if you joined and then quit for some reason, because when you quit, that’s a sign you’re rejecting Jehovah’s sovereignty and the chance to live forever in the paradise earth after Armageddon. Then you’d be like the dog returning to his vomit, and all that.

When you come forward at an Assembly and get baptized, that’s supposed to be a symbol to the whole world that you’ve decided to do Jehovah’s will and serve him for the rest of your life. From that time on, you’re a real Jehovah’s Witness, and from that time on you gotta really behave yourself, too, or you could get disfellowshipped from the congregation, for doing stuff like smoking or using drugs or getting drunk all the time, or for screwing when you’re not married, which is fornication, or for screwing somebody you’re not married to if you are married, which is adultery, or for speaking out against the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society or speaking out against something the Society is saying but that you disagree with, which is apostasy. And if you do get disfellowshipped for whatever reason, it’s really hard to get back in, even if you want to. First of all, once you’re disfellowshipped, you get cut off from everybody else in the congregation, because the rule is they have to ignore you and not talk to you or associate with you in any way. You can still come to the Kingdom Hall if you want to, but you’ll have to sit by yourself and nobody is gonna talk to you or be friendly to you, because that might be taken as a sign that they agree with your side in whatever it was that you got disfellowshipped for in the first place. To get back in, which they call getting “re-instated,” you have to practically beg and plead and do everything you can to convince the elders who disfellowshipped you that you’re sorry and repentant and won’t ever do it again. Then they might let you back in. And if they do let you back in, and you go and do the same thing all over again and get re-disfellowshipped, well, that’s really bad news for you. That’s probably all she wrote, you might say.

Anyway, like I said, they don’t usually want really young kids getting baptized, because of the seriousness of it and all, and because young kids aren’t really known for making the best decisions for themselves. But lately they’ve been pushing for everybody that falls into a category like me, somebody that’s at least 14 or 15 and has been around the Witnesses a long time like I have, to go ahead and get baptized, because there ain’t much time left before the end comes in October, and they figure you’d definitely have a better chance of surviving Armageddon if you’re an official Jehovah’s Witness than if you’re just an associated one that’s just been hanging around putting it off, maybe waiting around until the very last minute to see what’s really gonna happen. I guess you could say the District Assemblies being held all over the world this summer are pretty much the last call. It’s now or never.

So, if you’ve gotten to the point where you’ve prayed to Jehovah and told Him that you’re willing to dedicate your life to Him and serve Him and all, that’s when you go to the presiding elder in your congregation and tell him about it, and tell him that you want to get baptized at the next assembly, and that’s when they start holding the Eighty Questions meetings with you. The reason they call them the “Eighty Questions” meetings is because they’re based on these eighty questions they want you to memorize the answers to and tell what Bible scriptures they’re based on and all. The eighty questions are found in a Witness book called Organization For Kingdom-Preaching and Disciple-Making. They cover pretty much everything you gotta believe in order to be a Jehovah’s Witness. Like, the first question is “Who is the true God?” Of course the answer to that one is “Jehovah.” Another one is “Who is Jesus Christ, and what is his position in relation to Jehovah God?” The answer is they are not the same person, because we don’t believe in the trinity. And another question is “When Christ returns, is it visibly as a man, or how?” And the answer is no, he returns invisibly as a spirit person, which already happened in 1914. And on and on. You gotta know and agree with the right answers to all of them. I could answer them all pretty easy, if I wanted to, because I’ve been a Witness kid for so long. The ones I ain’t sure of, I could probably fake my way through. But they try to make it as easy as possible for you, by breaking up the questions into three or four different meetings, where they cover twenty or thirty questions at a time. And that’s why they’re called the Eighty Questions meetings.

On the ride home after the meeting, I figured Mom would be all over me about getting baptized, after just hearing Brother Gottwald’s special talk and all. But believe it or not, she didn’t bring it up, really. I thought she was going to one time, because she said, “Warren, were you paying attention to everything in Brother Gottwald’s talk tonight?”

I said, “Yes, Ma’am.”

She said, “Okay. Just checking.”

And that’s about all she had to say about the whole meeting. The only thing I could figure was she had her mind on something else, like Grandpa Hollins being there waiting for us when we got home.






	Home \| Dedication \| Inscription \| Chapter 1 \| Chapter 2 \| Chapter 3 \| Chapter 4 \| Chapter 5 \| Chapter 6 \| About the cover \| Front cover \| Back cover \| About the author \| Feedback \| Legal \| Links