Artistes
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Our singers are hand-selected for their almost unbearable purity of tone, their ability to flawlessly tune at the microtonal level, and their ruthless desire for perfection.
Two weeks before each performance, our artistes are transported to a secret location, where they intensively rehearse ten hours a day. They are fed only the purest spring water, organic vegetables, and ancient grains, and sleep in sensory deprivation chambers on a channel of air.
Do not even consider asking to audition for the Pedestrian Overpass. If you met our demanding standard, we would already have known of you.
Furthermore, do not entertain the laughable notion of being engaged as a “substitute”. Our singers are not absent. Ever. |
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