A Letter From Reverend Elton Jones

(Author Unknown)

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THE REVEREND ELTON JONES RESCUE MISSION

2705 POTOMAC DRIVE

PITTSBURGH, PENNSYLVANIA 15215

Perhaps you have heard of me and my nationwide campaign in the cause of temperance. Each year, for the past fourteen years, I have made a series of tours throughout the nation delivering a series of lectures on the evils of drinking.

On these tours I have been accompanied by a young man of an excellent background and good family name, Gary Lindstrom. Gary, although a fine man, is a pathetic case whose life was ruined by excessive indulgence in alcohol.

Gary would appear with me at lectures and sit on the platform, coughing and wheezing and staring at the audience through bloodshot eyes, as I point him out as an example of what drinking, and being an alcoholic does to a person.

Last summer, unfortunately, Gary passed away. A mutual friend has given me your name and I wonder if you would care to replace Gary during my summer tour.

Yours in Faith,

Reverend Elton Jones, D.D.