Grace and the Scimitar

Some words of wisdom from himself, on the Comedy Central television program Politically Incorrect. First broadcast 23 Feb 1996.


"There are times when woman say to men things that if another man said to, to them those things, to you, you would have no recourse but to (smacks palm) punch them in the face, or slink away like a coward. Woman have the mouth and, and they get at you and can say things to you that, that men can't say to you. So what do you do? Well I learned finally to do, to one of the woman who did that to me. The only recourse is to get even more vile than them, verbally. And it completely shuts them down.

"But if, if, if you really want to get to the politically correct side of things, I think that in the beginning woman should take, took, take good notice not to say these horrible things...

"The government is incompetent. Politics is over, the world is going into chaos, and you're trying to regulate these poor bunch of psychotics... You haven't a hope in the world...I'm a very gentle hippie from San Francisco - Love, peace and flowers - and ... I do not hurt my kid. My kid is out in the audience right now. She will tell you what a wonderful father I am. But her mother once came after me with a scimitar Arab blade, drunk out of (her) ... I looked at her and laughed, and threw a bedspread over her, took the knife away, threw it over the balcony.

"...I taped her up with rock and roll gaffers tape, it's called, like plumbing tape, for ten minutes. She said it was the best move I ever made in my life, she laughed about it. She knows she was completely fucked up at the time, you know, on alcohol, and she had a good time on it, and I did the right thing..."


Reprinted from: Journal of Trionic Physics, No. 3, August 1996.

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