(Doctor Who)

---

"Star Wars is adolescent nonsense,
Close Encounters is obscurantist
drivel, Star Trek can turn your brains to
puree of bat guano, and the greatest
science fiction series of all time
is Doctor Who! And I'll take you all
on, one-by-one or all in a bunch to
back it up!" --Harlan Ellison 

Book reviews

Whilst vacationing in London, I picked up a few of the BBC's Doctor Who book series. It used to be that there were 2 lines of Who books: Missing Adventures and New Adventures. Now they're known as PDAs(Past Doctor Adventures) and EDAs(Eighth Doctor Adventures). Of course, with the EDA's over and the Ninth Doctor being the current book-Doctor, who knows what they'll call it now. Most of my reviews are of Eighth Doctor books, though if I get around to it, the Seventh and Fourth might get in here as well...


Check out the reviews.

Spoilers: Quite possibly, though these books are a few years old now, and if you haven't read them yet, and you get spoiled, well - tough. 

---

There's a rather nice DW mention on this website called Mistakes Were Made. 
It seems that they were trying to decide which Democrat to endorse for President, so they offered a poetry contest.
This poem was the winner, by someone known only as "Leonard." What cracks me up is that Leonard used "Tegan"
to rhyme "vegan,"because Tegan was best known for her tenure with the Fifth Doctor. And the Fifth Doctor was the
most pacific of the lot - much like the subject of this poem, who did receive MWM's endorsement.

-

---

Artwork

(L-R from top to bottom: Compassion, Captain Jack, The Eighth Doctor, Captain Jack, The Ninth Doctor, The Fifth Doctor, Rose Tyler, and the Tenth Doctor)

    

 

   

 

---

The Action Figure

Here's an exercise in frustration: Go get an Artemus Gordon action figure (from the Wild Wild West movie) that's got the cowboy outfit. Then make it some
Sculpey hair, then learn to sew in miniature scale, make a velvet frock coat about 4 inches long, and then try to take a picture of the finished product
without it turning into one big blur.  This is the best picture yet:

---

The Bracelet

You know where these came from. Those god-awful floss and fimo-bead 'What Would Jesus Do' bracelets. Well, first off, sweetie, he wouldn't be caught dead wearing that tacky thing. He'd have something nice and classy, not a summer-camp reject. But then think about what some 'Christians' pull with all sincerity while asking themselves that question, and it kind of becomes moot. Obviously we're better off leaving the poor crucified bastard out of it altogether. So I put my hero in instead, and it raised an interesting question: What would the Doctor do? Next time you're in a stressful situation, think of that. It's actually pretty funny when you take it out of context... 

You: I'll teach you to rearrange my schedule, boss! Have a taste of my sonic screwdriver! *bleepity*

Boss: Um, I think you'd better go home now. 

--><-- 

You: Damn this traffic jam! Good thing I've got this anti-plastic with me...
*anti-plastic melts car leaving you exposed to traffic* 

--><--

---

Fic

Short for 'fan fiction', obviously.  Not much here just yet. For loads of good DW stories, check out A Teaspoon and an Open Mind.
 I recommend 'Masque' by Rain for starters... anyways, this is my first(and probably only) story. It doesn't quite match other version out there,
because I've done some editing to it since...

An Honest Mistake

--><--

And from Outpost Gallifrey, we have the 'Lazy FanFic' thread, which I have saved here for posterity.

--><--

    

[Post 1]
Author : Ronaldinho

Submit your lazy fan fic here!


With a wheezing groaning sound the TARDIS materialized in a rugged alien landscape.

"Where are we"? asked the companion.

"I'm not sure my dear", said the Doctor before adding a witticism.

The Doctor and the companion left the TARDIS and were captured by aliens who put them in cells.

The Doctor and the companion escaped but were separated in the confusion!

The Doctor discovers the alien's sinister plan, is reunited with his companion and defeats them.

The Doctor and the companion bid farewell to the alien boy the companion befriended.

With a wheezing groaning sound the TARDIS dematerialized....

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

[Post 2]
Author : The Rani


The TARDIS twirled through space like a bad CSO effect, inside of it the Doctor grinned at his generic companions John and Judy.
“I love traveling through time.” He said to them and pulled a rabbit out of his hat in an effort to do something creative and original.

      “But where are we going to?”  Judy asked.

“And what will we find there once we arrive?”  John added.

“Oh I never worry about that.” The Doctor replied. “Half the fun is finding out. I can go anywhere in the universe in this old TARDIS of mine,
but when it comes to locations the old girl has a mind quite of her own.” The TARDIS central column stopped moving. “Ah ha, we’ve arrived.”

“Great.”  Judy said with faked excitement.

“Super.”  John added with weary dismay.
       

The TARDIS had landed in the middle of a small sand pit, much to the shock and surprise of a small toddler who was sitting and crying
because the big blue box had squashed his sandcastle flat.

      “Never mind.” The Doctor said to the crying child, “would you like a jelly baby? They’re made from the feet of dead baby cows.”
At this the toddler’s crying became louder. “Oh well.” The Doctor shrugged. “Come on out you two, we’ve got exploring to do and it’s not another rock quarry.”

John popped his head out of the TARDIS.  “Hey, Judy, you owe me 50p.”

“I had my fingers crossed, behind my back.” Judy’s voice echoed out of the TARDIS interior. “Hey, wait up.” She ran out of the TARDIS.
“I felt for sure we’d landed in another rock quarry.”

“I like quarries.”  The Doctor replied.  “Rocks are very interesting; you can tell a lot of things about a planet with rocks.”

 The Villain walked around his base, the plan was going ahead as planned, soon he would take control of the world, and all power would be his.
Only a half-brained lunatic wearing weird clothes could foil his plans now.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

[Post 3]
Author : Doctor Sinister


There was a wheezing groaning sound as a strange blue box appeared in the deep dark forest.  The Doctor's TARDIS had arrived for its latest adventure. 
Inside...

"Well Doctor, looks like we've arrived".  The Doctor's companion pointed to the central column which had stopped moving.

The Doctor stood up from where he had been sitting and activated the scanner control.

"Oh yes, so we have".  He sat back down again.

"Well, shall we go outside then?"

"No, I can't be bothered."  The Doctor reached forward and flicked a switch.  The central column began moving once more.

In the deep dark wood the TARDIS slowly dematerialised with a wheezing groaning sound...another adventure was over...

Dr. S.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

[Post 4]
Author : judd


The Cyberleader looked down at the Doctor.  "What are you doing here time lord?"

The Doctor looked up and saw the reflection of his new face in the cyborg's silver armour.  "I'm here to stop your evil scheme."

Sunlight shined off of Rose's gold plated ring.

"Here's the keys to cyber control."

"Excellent" exclaimed the Doctor.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

[Post 5]
Author : Ring of Rassilon


**** Title Music ****

Interior of TARDIS; 2nd Doctor moves round central console switching buttons and pulling levers, while Jamie and Victoria look on worriedly

"Oh my giddy aunt!" exclaims the Doctor, "The hypersonic accelerator has..."

REST OF EPISODE WIPED BY BORED BBC TECHNICIAN

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

[Post 6]
Author : Doctor Sinister


The Doctor looked at the scene of carnage on the scanner as hordes of Daleks swept about mowing down thousands of humanoids before them.

"We have to get out there and stop them Doctor" screamed his companion, a busty American who had just climbed out of the shower, her toned
body rippling in the heat and her lovely tanned skin glistening from the...

Ahem.

"We have to get out there and stop them Doctor" screamed his companion.

"I think not - the Daleks are bound to win, look, there's hundreds of them.  We don't stand a chance.  Anyway, I expect that, in time,
the Human resistance will overcome and everything will be alright again."

"What?  You mean you don't have a clever scheme to correct the timeline and defeat the Daleks?  Nothing that will save millions of lives?"

"Not today.  Don't worry.  It'll all sort itself out, no sense putting our own necks on the line.  According to this revised timeline the TARDIS just
showed me, the humans eventually discover a chemical compound which is lethal to Daleks and use it to rid their world of Daleks forever.  You see?  Sorted."

With crossed fingers, the Doctor flicked a switch and the scene of devastation faded from view.

"Got room in that shower for another?"

Dr. S.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

[Post 7]
Author : The Rani

The Doctor glared at her opponant, she really, really didn't like him and he was wearing those awful shoes, the ones that people insist look
cool but anyone with eyeballs know are not.  She listened as he droned on and on about how he was going to rule the world, before she casually
rearranged the events of causality and he was run over by a Macc truck, even though they were on a space station of limited size. 
Then she looked at her companion.  "Come on Erin, let's go somewhere with a coffee shop, I could really use a latte right about now."

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

[Post 8]
Author : Doctor Sinister


I apologise that mine are developing a bit of a running theme...more of a Lazy Doctor than anything else...

* * *

The Doctor and his companion stood side by side as the TARDIS scanner opened onto another new world...

"Where are we this time Doctor?"

"Nevala III, a small planet in the Krytis Nebula - fascinating place, I was here once before".

"Great!  Let's explore!"

"No, I saw everything the last time, I think I'd rather read a book."

And the TARDIS headed off for pastures new...

Dr. S.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

[Post 9]
Author : Starfighter Pilot


End of the World - Alternative Version

Jerome was running for his life. They were after him, and if he was caught - well, it didn't bear thinking about. The armed Servitan robots came round
the corner and opened fire. Only Jerome had the codes to stop them, but he needed help. To avoided the laser fire, he jumped into an alley.
Unfortunately, it was a dead end. There appeared to be nothing he could do. Suddenly, there was a wheezing groaning sound, and a blue box appeared
at the end of the alley. Jerome instinctively ran towards it.

*****

Inside the TARDIS, the Doctor had just picked up a pretty blonde girl called Rose, who wanted to go to the future. "There we are," he said grandly,
"outside of those doors it's the twenty-second century!"

Rose gasped. "Can I see?"

"Pah!" cried the Doctor. "Twenty-second century is childs play! How do you want to go even further - 5 billion, perhaps?"

"Oh. OK," said Rose. The Doctor twiddled a lever and pressed a button, and the control column began moving again.

*****

Jerome was appalled. The blue box had vanished after barely thirty seconds, and he hadn't got their attention at all. The Servitan robots came
round the corner, and blasted him. He was blown to pieces. His death led to the Servitan invasion, during which Earth was destroyed in a ball of fire.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

[Post 10]
Author : Doctor Sinister


"I wonder where we are this time?" muttered the Doctor's companion to herself as the TARDIS scanner opened once more.  It had been months
since she had joined the Doctor but since that time she had only left the TARDIS once when he had suggested a quick trip to buy some
more shower gel, and nothing else had happened.  Frankly, she was begining to get more than a bit bored of time travel.

"Ah!"

She jumped - the Doctor actually seemed excited about something for a change!

"Where are we?"

"Krimptos IV - home to the Krimptons, a lovely charming race of bipeds who are the most delightful company."

The Doctor's companion paused before asking...

"Sooo...are we going outside?"

The Doctor was deep in thought as he reviewed the data provided to him by the TARDIS.

"Looks like we've arrived in the middle of a Krimpton plague - there are thousands of distress calls".

"Sigh...Let me guess, you don't want to go outside in case we catch the plague..."

"Ohh no problem there, we can't catch it..."

"But you can't cure it?"

"No problem there either, I can easily sort that out..."

"Oh good, then let's go and help them..."

"But...

"But what?"

"In twenty years time Krimptos itself will be destroyed by its own sun going supernova - so it hardly seems that it's worth the effort if they
are going to die anyway."

"But..."

And the TARDIS sped off into the vortex...

Dr. S.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

[Post 11]
Author : The Rani

The TARDIS materialised in 1950's Wales, the Doctor opened the door to let Ray inside, then he pushed Ace out and went on his way to
have some great adventures with a companion he actually liked...

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

[Post 12]
Author : Darth Fosse

The Tardis landed in the disused quarry and the Doctor looked out of the doors.

"Damn, this is not Blackpool".

The Tardis dematerialised.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

[Post 13]
Author : JR Loflin


An exhausted and very sweaty Rose was bent over the console, one leg hoisted onto the panel, her hands desperately grasping, trying to grab hold...







...of her diary, which the Doctor held smugly on the other side as he flipped idly through the pages, a very amused grin on his face. :D

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

[Post 14]
Author : Kapitano


The sixth doctor and Ace stumbled upon a bad alien planning to do destroy the Earth.

Ace revealed something painful about her childhood, then blew something up.

The Doctor talked to the main bad guy until he went mad and destroyed himself.

The End.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

[Post 15]
Author : Calapine


Pfft! You lot aren't trying hard enough. I've seen a lot worse! :p

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

[Post 16]
Author : The Secretive Bus


The doctar ran into the console room have " we landd?? he Asked. Rose shook her head No "Then we should land!!! the Doctor said!! and rose was like LOL!!!1! KAWAII! :-D And there was daleks too and and the doctor loved rose and they sexy Lots.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

[Post 17]
Author : John Rivers


Chapter 12: Escape to Danger

The space station hung silently in space.

Tarrant leaned over his console monitoring his craft's slow crawl towards the station's docking bay. At last, he thought,
soon my revenge will be complete!

He had waited hours, days, weeks, years and decades, maybe even centuries for this moment.
His final confrontation with his arch enemy.

The Doctor.

The bio-viz-image-scan-o-gram was tacked above his flight computer - a photo of a lunatic in a huge scarf grinning. Holding a fish.

My fish! screamed Tarrant inside.

But soon, that madman, the madman who travelled in time and space would be dead.

And Tarrant could die happy.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-


[Post 22]
Author : judd


Oh Nyssa!
Oh Adric!

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

[Post 23]
Author : agent compassion


The evil mastermind heard the wheezing, groaning sound and threw up his hands in resignation. "Ah, crap, there goes that plan,"
he said to his assembled henchmen. "You're all fired, let's just get out of here before the Doctor shows up to lecture us."

:)



-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

[Post 27]
Author : judd


This story takes place between the Parting of the Ways and The Christmas Invasion.

Rose stepped back a step.  "Doctor you've changed, you've...."

"So I have.  The only problem with regeneration is it's like a box of chocolates, you never you what you're going to get.  How do I look?"

"Squeeee!"

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-


[Post 29]
Author : Radioactive Hamster

The Doctor is thrown in to the pits of hell, where he runs in to Agador, and thought he'd have a jolly good chin wag with the gentleman.

Several hours later the Doctor inexplicably discovers the TARDIS underneath Satin's favourite deck chair, where he manages to escape the endless conversation that maliciously confronted him in the bowels of hell. And leaves by saying something along the lines of "Well that was a bit hot for my liking"... when Rose comes in wearing something quite revealing, and Rose responds "Well is this hot enough for your liking", to which the Doctor raises a sly eyebrow, smirks and the screen credits roll up, to the disapointment of all the Dad's and similarly aroused gentlemen.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

[Post 30]
Author : agent compassion



-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

[Post 31]
Author : agent compassion


"Rose, you wanna have a look at this amazingly unique planet whose unique attributes can undoubtedly form the basis for at least one lame pun?"
"Nah."
"Right then, how about Scrabble?"

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-


[Post 33]
Author : Terry-Thomas


A historical adventure!
 
With a wheezing, groaning sound, the TARDIS (short for Time And Relative DIS) landed in a forest.
 
It had landed on William II of England.
 
Only the spindly leg of his horse stuck out underneath the big blue box.
 
The Doctor came out, spotted the leg, and the half-flattened crown of the late king.
 
"Ooooh, let's bugger orf, Rose, can't bandy abou' 'ere."
 
"A'right, Doctor."
 
With a wheezing, groaning sound, the TARDIS disappeared as the king's retainers rode into sight and uttered a few expletives,
 letting loose a couple of arrows in the direction of the blue box. They both landed on the king, the poor sod.
 
Where will they land next?!
 
The Doctor and Rose, that is?!


-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

[Post 35]
Author : Professor Keller


The time ring deposited the Doctor, Sarah and Harry on a moon.

'Hmm...' The Doctor hurrumphed in a kind of way that you do sometimes.

'I thought that the Nerva Beacon transmat would take us to Earth.' Sarah said in her whimsical way - you know like she was in
Pyramids of Mars (although that hasn't happened yet).

'Yes.' Said Harry, his square jaw was jutting like a Boys Own chin.

'Nice here.' Said Sarah.

'Yes.' Agreed Harry.

'Absolutly' chimed in the Doctor like he did in The Daemons (even though that was a different Doctor but it is how this Doctor would have
sounded if he had been in the Daemons, or something).

'Doctor?' Asked Harry?

'Yes Sarah?' (continuity error)

'How can we breath if we're on the moon?'

'Oh that's easy... technobabble.'

'Oh I see.' Harry said as he walked back into UNIT HQ.

The End.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

[Post 38]
Author : QuiGonJ


I walked in, saved the day, and Sarah and I got married and had 5 kids.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

[Post 39]
Author : The Rani


"Hello, I'm the Doctor...why are you running away?"

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

[Post 40]
Author : Robbie Langton


With a wheezing, groaning sound, the Tardis materialised.

"Where are we?" asked the companion?

"This is the planet Raxacoricollanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogochfalapatorius," replied the Doctor.

"Pardon?" said the companion.

The Doctor replied,"I said this was the planet Raxacoricollanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllanty... erm... It's the planet Raxacoricollanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwlll.... erm... Raxacoricollanfai... -
Oh bollocks! Let's go somewhere shorter!"

With a wheezing, groaning sound, the Tardis dematerialised.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

[Post 41]
Author : Anita Hibbard


Materialise, Doctor, Dalek, BOOM! Dematerialise!



(Really, Really, Lazy)

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

[Post 42]
Author : Ring of Rassilon


TARDIS materialises.

TARDIS doors open.

Doctor: "Hello"

Tegan: *moan*

Adric: *whine*

Nyssa: *drops skirt*

TARDIS doors close.

TARDIS dematerialises.

The End.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

[Post 43]
Author : Roxy641


Doctor appears on a planet with a bomb to
destroy ALL Daleks

Destroys ALL Daleks and leaves planet via
his TARDIS.

The End. :D

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

[Post 44]
Author : Simon Kinnear


There once was a Time Lord from Gallifrey
Who left home to go on a big holiday
He travelled through time
Fighting all kinds of crime
And returned before he'd even gone away

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-


[Post 46]
Author : Ronaldinho


zzzzzzzz.......The Doctor.....zzzzzzzzzzz............TARDIS..............zzzzzzzzzz.........aliens.........companion......zzzzzzzzzzzz......plot......zzzzzzzzzz
.......lack of one............zzzzz

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

[Post 47]
Author : JMol


The Doctor and his companion(s) travelled through time and space and had adventures.
The end.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

[Post 48]
Author : Ronaldinho


The Doctor ushered his new companion into the TARDIS.

"I think you're in for a surprise", he said reaching into his pocket for the key.

"It's bigger on the inside than the outside", replied his companion coldly.

"Er....how could you possibly know that young lady"? asked the Doctor.

"I've been travelling with you for 9 years Doctor", said the companion bluntly.

"Oh....yeah", said the Doctor. "Now, bugger off"!

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

[Post 49]
Author : Professor Keller

The Ten Doctors

The Tenth Doctor walks out of the Tardis with Rose.
They bump into the Third and Second Doctors arguing.
'I used to be them.'
'Oh.' Said Rose.
He then pointed to the Fourth and First Doctors arguing.
'And them.'
'Oh.' Said Rose again.
Rushing past was the Fifth and Sixth Doctors. The Sixth Doctor was calling the Fifth Doctor efete.
'And them too.'
'Oh.' Said Rose.
Meanwhile, the Seventh and Eigth Doctors were having a drink. Apparently they were friends.
'And them.'
'Oh.' Said Rose.
Rose then saw the Ninth Doctor. He looked at them. 'P*ss off, I'm not doing Doctor Who anymore.'
'Oh.' Said Rose.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

[Post 50]
Author : Flickyhecky


Doctor Who - An Unearthly Child ( The first draft )

Ian and Barbara decide to follow Susan back home...

Ian - "She's gone into that junkyard, lets follow"

Barbara - "She might be meeting a boy!"

Ian - "Even better, we can watch!"

Later....

A grey haired old man enters the junkyard and heads for a curious looking box...

Ian - "Susan's got a werid taste in blokes hasn't she?"

Barbara - "Sshh! He must be a policeman!"

Doctor -"What are you doing here?"

Ian - "More to the point, what are you doing here?"

Doctor - "I go whizzing about in this here policebox!"

Ian  - "We don't believe you, we haven't taken any LSD, so it's no use trying to freak us out with your stupid story!"

Barbara - "Speak for yourself! I'm out of it!"

Doctor - "Oh well, you don't believe me, i'll go then....bye!"

The Tardis vanishes before their eyes...

Barbara - "Oh wow, that's kinda trippy!"

Ian - "Those headache tablets must be stronger than i thought!"

Ian and Barbara wander out the junkyard and back to their mundane lives.

Meanwhile....

The Tardis lands on a desolate planet, it's now shaped like a rock...

The Doctor leaves the Tardis and see's a scruffy man hiding behind a rock.

Za - "Sorry to bother you old man, but have you got a light? Our cave fire has gone out and were a bit cold."

The Doctor rummages through his pockets and gives the caveman a box of matches.

Doctor - "You have all the fire you need now, just make sure you light the kindling first!"

Za - "Thanks mate!"

The Doctor goes back in the Tardis and sets off for another adventure.....without Ian and Barbara!

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

[Post 51]
Author : The Secretive Bus


William Hartnell and Richard Hurndall: sweaty and slippery naked mud wrestling.








I thank you.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-



[Post 53]
Author : CMC 42


The Master has another cunning scheme that predictably falls flat on its face.

The End.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

[Post 54]
Author : The Rani

The Drahvins invaded enmasse.
Haana waved at the leader.
The Drahvins left en masse.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

[Post 55]
Author : icewarrior

The Tardis Materialised.
The Doctor looked out of the door at the surrounding planet.
'No' he said.
The Tardis Dematerialised.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

[Post 56]
Author : Kapitano


Davros: I have a cunning plan to destroy Earth!
Doctor: Yes, I know. I stopped it three hundred years ago. Thats next week to you.
Davros: Bugger.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

[Post 57]
Author : Professor Keller


The scene following on from the end of Survival (Curtisy of the early Virgin books).

Ace: 'Waddya mean we've got work to do? I'm fed up with all this Doctor. I wanna go an cop off with one of those wierd cat things - y'know a bit of girl on girl action.'

Doctor: 'Bo**ocks to that! I didn't bring you back to Perivale so you could go off with some hairy woman who looks surprisingly like Bernice Sommerfield.'

Ace: 'Up yours Professor. I'd rather do that than drink cold tea and meet people made of smoke and cities made of snog you creep.'

Doctor: 'Song... not snog.'

Ace: 'Oh well that makes perfect sense!'

Doctor: 'Why don't you just f**k right off then!'

Ace: 'Alright then, you just watch me!'

Ace leaves and the Doctor f**ks off.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

---

Fluid Links

WhoNA - if you're sick of hearing your Brit friends rubbing it in that they've got a sonic screwdriver and you haven't, this is the place for you.  

Outpost Gallifrey: If it isn't here, it probably doesn't exist.  

BBC Who site: News and sounds and lots of wallpapers, plus Confidential Cutdown and WhoSpy.

---

agentcompassion@gmail.com

'One day, I shall come back, yes, I shall come back.
And until that day, let there be no regrets, no tears, no anxieties.
Just go forward in all your beliefs
and prove to me that I am not mistaken in mine.'

-The Doctor