I asked Brad, "So how do you think DJ (his wife) was feeling when she told you that she locked
the car keys in the trunk?"
"I'm not really sure," he responded. "It seems like it happens alot. I just assume
she has an 'Oh well' attitude about it. It's no big deal to her."
"But it's a big deal to you?" I asked.
"Well, you'd just think that when something keeps happening over and over again, you'd come
up with a plan of action."
"So again, Brad, what do you think she was feeling?"
"I don't know really. I know how I was feeling. And I know how
I feel when I do something similar."
"So you lock the carkeys in the trunk sometimes too?"
"Yea! And the other day, when we got back from our trip, I was looking in my suitcase
for some clean socks. I took my glasses off and set them down in the suitcase and then forgot they were there.
I zipped up the suitcase and the next morning I couldn't find my glasses. It took me about twenty minutes of looking
before I had a flash of setting them down in the suitcase. And the last thing I was going to do was to tell anyone about
it."
"So How were you feeling?"
"Very Stupid, and even more stupid when I found them in the suitcase."
"So you were feeling pretty embarrassed and silly, maybe even like a little kid?"
"Yep!"
"So do you suppose that DJ might have felt that same way when she told you she had locked the
carkeys in the trunk?"
"M-m-m. I never thought of that! Maybe!"
"And why do you suppose that you never thought she might feel the same way you do?"
"I don't know. I just see us as really different when it comes to things like that."
"And so maybe you're not so different after all?"
"Maybe!"
"Have you heard of the word compassion, Brad?"
"Yea."
"Well, lots of people have different definitions for what compassion is, but maybe taking the
risk, if it is a risk, to assume that she feels the same way you do in situations like this, maybe that's what compassion
is. And you could say to her something like, 'Oh my gosh, honey. You must be feeling a little sheepish having
to tell me. It's exactly how I feel when I do stuff like that. You know, it's really no big deal. We'll
call AAA and it'll be taken care of in no time.' But I imagine that's difficult for you to say to her because it is
such a big deal to you?"
"I guess, though, in the big scheme of things, it's really not a big deal at all.
Is it?"
"No, it's not really. But having compassion for each other is a big deal."
