APRIL 23
HAPPPY BIRTHDAY, TERI
So let’s see, how old are you?
Well, Harry was President when you were born. Well, to be fair, it was not his first term! You grew up with Eisenhower and
Nixon and were a teenager when Jack was assassinated! So does all that make you old, very old, not so old, or not really old
at all? What do you think?
You know, it’s an odd thing,
but I think you stole the rosary beads when Nixon was VP. We should have been able to put all that together and kept him out
of office, and the Watergate would never have occurred, and then what?
Didn’t you plead with me when
I was threatening to tell Mom, "But Vern, please, don’t tell, I’m not a crook!" And remember when Dad found out, he said something
like, "With all the money you’re Mom spends there, you keep those beads!"
So much for your life of crime.
Kind of like Patty Hearst, but I don’t recall you wore anything wild during the heist. I think you might have been carrying
that toy machine gun I had, but not sure about that either.
I certainly don’t think of you
as old. I think what keeps you young, actually, is that you’re still kicking ass out there on the asphalt with your running
shoes! One of these days, when they interview middle-aged men after the Father’s Day race, the guys won’t be saying, "Well,
I thought I was doing pretty good till this pregnant lady passed me by," BUT instead, they’ll be saying, "Well, I thought
I was doing pretty good till I heard this clickety click sound, and this elderly lady passed me buy pushing a walker. She
looked pretty good actually!"
You know, Michael Moore, was
also born on April 23, along with Sandra Dee and Lee Majors. Of course, if we go way back, there’s Shakespeare! Of course,
we can’t forget Shirley Temple who looked like you with her curls! And we can’t forget Jim Fixx, the runner. I wonder if Jim
is still running. He’d be 77 or 78!
For those of you who do not know
Teri, she is a powerful voice in the wilderness. She steps up at the moment when everyone else has buried their head in the
sand. It’s an incredible experience. Man, there’s feathers all over the place!!
It’s easy to see Teri as quiet
and demure. The quiet artist creating in silence, unlike the big Gal in the sky who tends to do the big bang kind of stuff,
but she is godly and divine all the same except when she pulls crap like getting me pushed out of the shoot so she can cross
the finish line first! That I will never forget, never forgive, and forever hold it against her. She came in 378th
and I had to settle for 379th! Come on, in a big race like that, fairness has to be the outstanding virtue, doesn’t
it? I mean what’s wrong with your big brother beating your ass in a race? Come on, male dominance has been the standard for
centuries.
But that’s Teri for you, up front,
in every sense of the word, leading the pack, knocking everyone out of her way, just like Mom used to do in Mayfair market
with her grocery cart! And you couldn’t blame it on dementia. She was clear headed, tired of being pushed around and began
to fight back in the grocery store of all places. So Teri has some of those late bloomin genes.
I can imagine on your birthday,
you’ll get up nice and early and run six miles ending up at Starbucks. Then you’ll head for the house and water all the flowers
in your gorgeous garden. I suppose you have arranged for a photo shoot with the Fresno Bee. "Fifty Nine Year Old Woman Runs
Six Miles And Waters Her Flowers On Her Birthday." What an article! OOPS! Did I just give away your age? Curse me! Well, it’s
going to be in the Fresno Bee, so what the heck, a little internet won’t hurt ya. I bet Joe’s buying you a new truck for your
birthday! A Sixteen Wheeler! Heck with hiring out the jobs anymore!
And what about cake and
ICE CREAM? Yes, light all those candles! Use trick candles so all 58 candles go out and come back on again over and over again,
like a beacon beckoning all aging people from the world over. They will come, singing, chanting, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU ! HAPPY
BIRTHDAY TO YOU ! HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR TERI ! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU ! AND MANY MORE!!
And don't forget the Beattles have a song for you. Click
on the link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=glNjsOHiBYs
