Do you remember the guy, about three years ago, who sped through city streets here in Southern California over 100 miles per hour in a corvette? His passenger was a young Veteran just back from Iraq; When the corvette spun out, the Deputy pulled his cruiser within three feet of it. The driver managed to make a U turn, drive around the Deputy and continue the chase. Finally, he lost control again and crashed into a block wall. But in the meantime, he blew four stop signs and two red lights.

     Following the pursuit, the passenger in the corvette was shot three times and lived to tell about it. The shooting was captured on video. We watched that video over and over and over again. The Deputy who shot the Veteran was eventually required to stand trial for VOLUNTARY manslaughter..

     I agree that shooting the passenger three times was way over the top. BUT when you decide to be a passenger in a car traveling one hundred miles an hour through city streets and blowing stop signs and red lights, you've already put your life up for grabs! What did the passenger think was going to happen once the chase began? And what did he think was going to happen when the chase ended? Did he think the Deputy would recognize him as a hero and congratulate him for making it back home from Iraq safely? Did he think he would offer him a smoke and say, "Hey, great chase!"?

     Neither the passenger nor the driver was considered a terrorist, so we are outraged at the inhumane treatment. And as a society, we hold the policeman to a very high standard, and I am glad we do. But what happens to our high standards when it comes to OUR treatment of terrorists?

     Terrorists are the only folks left on the face of the earth whom we even consider torturing or treating inhumanely! It’s really interesting. We are totally outraged by anyone else being treated inhumanely including criminals and even animals. Whoops, one other exception–children! 

     When our little ones become totally out of control, sadly, we do not know what to do. We tell everyone how intelligent the child is, how they know exactly what they are doing, pushing our buttons, all as a way to somehow justify in our brains our over the top reactions which sometimes look pretty awful. We wouldn’t even consider treating our dog or cat that way. We would control those impulses.  If we treated a spouse that way, we would be arrested on the spot.

     When our tweens and teens are doing drugs, getting pregnant, hanging out with the wrong crowd, failing school, crashing the family car, shoplifting, and lying about ALL of it, again, sadly, we do not know what to do. We again accuse them of being too sophisticated, spoiled, having way too much freedom (how did all that happen?), disrespectful, ungrateful, all as justification for our outrageous reactions. In our desperation, again we do some pretty awful, inhumane things to our tweens and teens. As adults, we would not tolerate anyone treating us that way. We are so technologically advanced, but so bereft when it comes to relationships with children!

     Now granted, we have come a long way and there are all kinds of laws in place to prevent child abuse, but many of us are not there yet mentally and spiritually.  We still think the "old fashion" method is the best way to teach the lesson.  And some of us still resort to that old fashioned way and manage to get away with it.  Except that we've destroyed the relationship.  Oh yes, we claim that now our children respect us, but it is not respect.  It is fear and disdain.    

     As you can read, I am not in favor of torture of anyone. I work with some pretty out of control and sophisticated folks, and I enjoy the challenge of getting inside their heads and hearts and souls and making it almost impossible for them to do anything but follow me. So I know there are lots of ways to influence folks, including terrorists, and EXTRACT ALL the information you need.

     And I certainly hope that none of you reading will say something like, "Well everyone tortures prisoners of war." That maybe true, and we even train our soldiers to undergo torture.  And how outraged are we when one of our soldiers is on the receiving end of that torture?

     And so what, if everyone else is torturing? Didn’t you have that conversation with your parents and don’t you still have that conversation with your children now?

     "But Mom, Dad, everyone’s doing it."

     "Well, that can’t possibly be true, because we’re not and you’re not!"

     "But..."

     "Sorry, no buts. It’s not going to happen. I don’t care if the whole world’s doing it. It’s not happening here."

     Am I the only kid who had such a conversation with my folks? I guarantee you I had plenty of those conversations with my son, David.  And the question I asked him "if everyone was...." is a little too crude for this blog! 

     And I wonder if any of the folks who are in favor of torture, including GW, gave any thought at all to their grandchildren and great grandchildren? What is the legacy we want to pass on? What would the former president say if one of his grandchildren asked, "Is it true that you were in favor of torture?"

     Believe me, I know there are no easy answers here. I know all about 911.  I too watched the towers crumble like miniatures on a movie set.  But we can at least agree not to become terrorists ourselves in dealing with terror.  We’re smarter than that. I know we are.