WHAT WAS HAPPENING TWENTY FIVE YEARS AGO?
Well, it was the actual year of George Orwell’s "dystopian" novel. It was also the year that Verizon
turned on the first cell phone tower in St. Louis, Missouri! Apple MacIntosh introduced its first computer that year.
The African nation of Upper Volta changed its name to Burkina Faso! On August 30, the space shuttle Discovery rocketed
off the launch pad to its maiden voyage. It was the year that Doug Flutie threw a game-winning forty eight yard pass
to Gerard Phelan to defeat the Miami Hurricanes, one of the most famous plays in college football history. Reggie Jackson
became a member of the 500 homerun club, and Richard Petty won his final and 200th NASCAR victory that year. Pete
Rose became the first baseball player to collect 4000 hits and $10,000 on his own bet! And Clara Peller said the famous
words for the Wendy’s commercial for the first time, "Where’s the Beef?"
WHAT WAS HAPPENING IN WASHINGTON?
Ronald Reagan was President and would be re-elected for another four years. On August 22,
1984, it was a relatively quiet night in Washington D. C. There were no Orwellian events happening. In a delivery room at
St. George’s Community Hospital, located on Andrews Air Force Base, an amazing birth was taking place. The little guy poked
his head out, looked around a little bit, asked if there was anything exciting happening here, and before he knew it, his
Mom gave one final push and out he came. To everyone’s dismay, he was wearing a baseball cap with the letters FED EX across
the front. His first words were that very evening. He kept asking, "Where are my packages?" But that’‘s how it all started.
Ian is quite the guy. He gets up at 3:30 each morning to go to work for Fed Ex! Ian
is in charge of all the weird-shaped packages that you folks ship! It’s his job to pull them off the conveyor belt and
redirect them to the odd-shaped and oversized distribution center. They have a special greyhound bus that they ship all this
"stuff" on. You know, like Uncle Fred’s trombone that’s been in the attic for a hundred years and Aunt Martha in Washington
D. C., unbeknownst to you, donated it to the Smithsonian and wants you to ship it to her. So you wrap it and wrap it and wrap
it and wrap it in aluminum foil and then wrap it again in brown paper and ship it Fed Ex to Washington D. C. You tell the
person at Kinko’s that it’s just a family heirloom, but Ian’s X-ray machine indicates that it’s an anti-aircraft missel, so
he has to take it out back behind the warehouse and blow it up. There goes Uncle Fred’s trombone! Or you send the mummified
remains of Aunt Alice, who died at a family disturbance on Thanksgiving twenty years ago, to Uncle Al, her husband, who now
lives in Ametyville, New York. He said he’s missing her and wants you to ship her Fed Ex. So you ship her in a
string Bass case to make it look like a musical instrument. Ian’s the guy who gets the shock of his day when Aunt Alice’s
mummified remains come rolling out onto the conveyor belt at 4:30 in the morning because you forgot to secure the lid properly.
Ian is quite the academician. He attends California State University, San Bernardino, where
he is on the Dean’s list. Ian’s studies have lead him to our environment, and we will owe it to him someday for saving
our planet.
If you read this blog with any regularity, you will have already heard this story. But one
of the funniest moments in my history with Ian was the day Darrell came screaming through the front door, "Ian shot me." Come
to find out that Ian had hit Darrell bullseye on the butt with a bee bee gun from his second story bedroom window. At
that time, I thought for sure Ian would join the green berets or the local SWAT!
Ian is quite tall and has a commanding presence which may at times disguise his very kind
soul. He is always there for his family and his friends. He makes sure that the cars get repaired, that whoever needs
a ride has one, and when you’re short on funds, he’s there to tide you over. But I don’t think he will appreciate a
slew of emails from those of you who are short on funds right now (you know, like Citibank or Bof A!), so hold yourself back!
We’re all very proud of you, Ian, proud of your commitment to yourself, your future, and to your
family and friends.
HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY. CLICK ON THE LINK TO SEE THE BEATLES SING HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=glNjsOHiBYs
