The Future Will Probably Look Like This

The Onion 2056

Things to Come

Question of the day: What sci-fi stuff, from either books or film, is definitely coming true?

Robots in War
There was that New York Times article that told us the military is developing robots for military use, and if we count airplane "drones" they're already here. Whether the robots end up looking like burrowing insectoids or little girls I'd say Philip K. Dick, for one, got that right.

Privacy in Public Spaces
As Wrong Turn Journal has noted, Steven Spielberg worked with futurists on Minority Report to create one of the richest visions of the future ever put to film. Take the scene where each subway car retinally scans its passengers. Another terrorist attack--God forbid--and that sh*t is definitely coming true. With retinal scanning out of the bag advertisers would join the party, as when The Gap personally pitches to Tom Cruise.

Porn of the Future
Maybe you think pr0n is pretty good these days. I'm telling you: Our pr0n will look like cave drawings in the future. I don't know if we'll have holo-sluts ("The 6th Day") or Virtual Reality style smut ("Virtuosity," e.g.) but porn of the future is going to be off the hook.

Real-Life Zombie Game

This is so not right. Clearly he should have gone in the hallway behind him where a relatively small number of zombies had opened a door.

http://www.alldumb.com/item/11984/

Ripping It

There's a new toy in the OTD household: a standalone DVD recorder. Now I can transfer VHS tapes I never watch onto DVDs I will never watch. But I share this, dare I say, best b-movie opening ever? It's 2 mins. long, 15MB and you'll need DivX. All sci-fi movies should star former kickboxers.

Garbage Day

The first time a saw a piece of electronics equipment in the trash with its power cord cut, I figured it was the work of a selfish owner unwilling to let anyone get any utility out of his discarded item. But as I saw more items without their cords, I realized: People are taking power cords for the copper. We are getting closer to the Road Warrior society, my friends. I will keep you updated as developments occur.

Website note: As I was messing around with the template I fux0red things up and lost the links to previous posts. Old posts are hiding here:

May 2005
April 2005

On Acting or, Paul Newman Actually Sucks

Is it possible to have a great performance in a terrible movie? Does anyone have examples? A couple come to mind. Uma Thurman is great in the abysmal "Paycheck" and Val Kilmer's spoofing of Marlon Brando in "The Island of Dr. Moreau" is hilarious. Of course, both actors are in supporting roles.

I'm thinking the material is everything. When Wrong Turn Journal and I watched Robert Altman's mediocre "Quintet" we both agreed that Paul Newman brought nothing to the role. But follow that with the most excellent "The Verdict." Both films are mysteries with Newman trying to sort things out and I swear, Newman gives the exact same tics, inflections and expressions in both films. The first film remains muddled while Newman gets a Best Actor nomination for the second.

Hardcore side note: John Sturges' "Bad Day at Black Rock" is now on DVD and provides further evidence of Lee Marvin's bad-ass-ness, even in a small role. Well worth the rental if only to witness the one-handed beatdown Spencer Tracy delivers to Ernest Borgnine.


Mediocre performance



Excellent performance