The
guided journal that I kept. I've typed up the entry and the page's topic.
Other
reactions from loved ones, friends and co-workers…
My mother said “I thought you were
on birth control!” She has been buying things for her first grandbaby for years. She bought a smocker and said “You
better be having a girl!” She and Auntie Susan Malone have been grandbaby-shopping a lot.
Nanny (my grandmother Mary-Alice) was kind
of stunned. She put her hand to her heart, and started smiling. Then she hugged me. She’s been telling me all the things
they didn’t have when she had her children. “They never had ultrasounds then.”
Auntie Megan started screaming, crying,
and jumping up and down. She wants to go baby shopping immediately. Then she called Susan and Teddie, Nana Terry, and anyone
else she could think of.
Now
that I’ve had some time to think about being pregnant, these are my thoughts, concerns and how I’m feeling right
now…
I’m excited to be a mom. I can’t
wait to meet you, and hold you. I am less worried about labor and delivery than when I first found out I got pregnant. Still
worried but probably repressing most of it. It doesn’t always feel real. Sometimes I forget I’m pregnant.
My
first doctor’s appointment was today, 3/11/04. I’m 8 weeks pregnant. What we talked about. How much I weigh.
Dr. Elly did an ultrasound. She is the
best. She told me to get plenty of sleep, take my prenatal vitamins, stay hydrated, and no heavy lifting. I weighed 164lbs,
which is pretty much the same as before.
I had another appointment on 3/25/04, but
Dr. Elly was not there so I saw one of the LPNs. They told me I had a UTI, so I took Macrobid for a week. My blood pressure
was a bit high.
Another appointment on 4/8. Blood pressure
high, but they didn’t know if it was just stress. I am rearranging so I don’t go in straight after work anymore,
that may help. If it continues high in a week, they will transfer me to another doctor who handles high-risk pregnancies.
It was very frightening.
Write
more thoughts on this page.
I don’t know about thoughts, but
I wanted to record a cute story. We told Amelia (aged 4 currently, Auntie Niely’s daughter) that I had a baby in my
tummy. She wasn’t too interested until a week later, when I was playing with Elijah, Khadijah’s son, and Amelia
wanted to hold him (he’s afraid of Amelia, she’s too rough). She said “I want a baby to play with”
and I told her Elijah was too tired to play with her. She asked me “Did your baby come out yet?” I told her it
wouldn’t be until Halloween before the baby came out. She stamped her foot and said “But that’s too long!”
Everyone
has dreams. These are mine.
Honestly, my dream is to be wildly rich,
live in a huge beautiful house (with a cleaning staff), and lie around a pool all day, reading books. Occasional forays to
go shopping or visit another country. I would like to go back to Jordan and stay in the Movenpick Hotel
in Wadi Musa. I want my mom to live close by. I want to have piles of expensive fabric and someone to make it into garb for
me.
I want to have summers off, to take my
baby to the beach every day. I want a pool in my backyard. I want a bigger house, with a huge yard and lots of trees. I want
a flower garden, and mimosa trees, and hibiscus bushes. A stream with a weeping willow.
How
I’ve been feeling. Bouts with morning sickness or headaches. My energy level.
Now that I’m almost 13 weeks, morning
sickness (I was sick in the evenings and afternoons usually) has tapered off a lot. I’m hungry all the time –
but I hardly ever want to eat anything. I eat bagels and cream cheese a lot right now. Breakfast cereal is good.
I’m very tired, and I wake up a lot
during the night. I am trying to train myself to sleep on my left side, all the pregnancy books say that’s best, but
I toss and turn a lot.
I was very sick from about 6 weeks to pretty
much last week. I’m gradually feeling better.
I
had a doctor’s appointment today, 5/4/04. I’m 16 weeks pregnant.
Last appointment I had lost weight –
161lbs. I put on 7 lbs since then. Nancy (one of the nurse
practitioners, I love her to death, she’s so cool) said I got an A+. I had the girls culture me for strep, someone at
work has it so I wanted to check. Haven’t heard back yet.
I have my ultrasound on May 18 at 11:30am.
Yay! So I will be 18 weeks, and hopefully they’ll be able to see. Than I’m going to tell everyone!
Mom comes in for Katie’s wedding
on the 18th at 7pm, so she’ll get to hear as soon as she’s off the plan.
Tiffany emailed me to say she has a feeling
my baby is a girl.
My
thoughts when I heard your heart beat for the first time. I was 12 weeks pregnant.
At my 4/8 appointment, we head the baby’s
heartbeat on the Doppler. It took the LPN a few minutes to find it. It was a little surreal. We had seen your heart beating
on the ultrasound in March, but it was different to listen to it. It sounded very fast. Robert was happy to hear it. He was
rubbing my shoulder while we listened. Very cool.
Thoughts
and memories I want to share with you about your grandparents.
My mother is the best. She is very smart,
strong, a perfect mom. She taught me to sew, knit, crochet, quilt, cook. She makes the best homemade bread. She is very spiritual,
and talented, and she sings beautifully. She and I like to shop together, and work on genealogy. She calls me every week and
we talk for hours. She is going to come out to help me when the baby’s born. She is a pediatric nurse (NICU/PICU). She
is a dear friend and mom. I hope I can be as good a mom as she was.
My father is a worthless human being.
Prices….
March: Gas is ridiculous. $1.65 most places.
We spend about $65 a week on groceries. Stamps are 37 cents. Bread is about 80 cents (we shop at Walmart). Milk is $2.75.
We don’t have cable. My car payment is about $200 a month. Insurance for both of us and 2 cars is $138 a month. Water
bill is bimonthly and is usually $65. The mortgage is $700. I do most of the finances, Robert pays the bills I tell him to.
We have separate checking.
I had a doctor’s appointment today, 5/18/04. I’m 18 weeks pregnant.
I weigh 171 lbs.
TWINS!
Today we say both of you for the first
time on the ultrasound. I thought the doctor was kidding at first. We saw both of you very clearly. Twin A is on bottom, she
apparently because you wouldn’t cooperate. Kept turning around when we tried to look at you. Twin B is on top, and Dr
Sprueill said you’re definitely a boy. Since the two of you are in separate amniotic sacs, Twin A could be a boy or
a girl. I have another ultrasound next month, maybe we’ll see you then.
Wow! We are very stunned.
I
first started wearing maternity clothes in my 2-3 month…
I bought a maternity shirt in March just
because! I really started needing maternity shirts at the end of my 3rd month because I had to wear a Belly Belt
to make my pants fit, and none of my shirts were long enough to cover it. I buy stuff all over – Target, thrift stores,
Motherhood.
Turns out I needed maternity clothes early
because there are 2 babies. I didn’t need real maternity clothes until early May.
The
first time I felt you move was April…
4/10: sometime last week I started feeling
a weird fluttering in my belly. It felt like when you’re nervous and you get butterflies. Amy said it was the baby moving.
Well you must be doing barrel turns. Last night at the movie you were very active, swishing around a lot. Robert put his hand
on my belly and he said he could feel you. You are awake at night, apparently practicing your shimmies in the evning.
Added later: Probably kickboxing each other!
You kick each other on ultrasounds.
I
had a doctor’s appointment today, 6/21/04. I’m 23 weeks pregnant.
Dominic is a flasher! We got a good picture
of him. Still couldn’t see Twin A clearly, but Dr Sprueill thinks it’s another boy. I’m up 15lbs from my
pre-pregnancy weight.
7/8: took the GD test. 26 weeks on Saturday.
Up 20 lbs now. Next appointments are on 7/22, in the morning with Dr S., then at 1:30 for the level II ultrasound out at the
Beach on First Colonial. I took the day off from work.
7/22: went to Tidewater Perinatal Center
for a level 2 u/s – Dominic weighs 2lb9oz and Christian weighs 2lb3oz. We’re excited that you’re both big
and healthy! I have gained 25lbs total now.
A
typical day that I’ve had lately. Today’s date: 7/9/04
At work, training Ladena to replace me
when I go. I will be staying home and I’m nervous about not going back to work. I don’t know when my last day
will be, but I’m hoping to go to October 1st. I stayed late to finish some work and talk to Barb, my boss.
I’ll miss her and the girls when I leave. It will be a big change, having twins, quitting work, starting grad school.
I may find something to do at home to make some extra money, but I don’t know.
I don’t feel too tired, although
I wake up a lot during the night. I feel the babies kick a lot. Came home and chatted on WebMD.
Going to Jeanie’s tomorrow for a
cookout.
I
had a doctor’s appointment today, 8/18/04. I’m 31 weeks pregnant.
I don’t even like to think about
how much I weigh. I’ve put on about 40lbs. Dr. Roberts put me on bedrest. I am 50% effaced and dilated to 1cm. I had
to go in and quit my job early. On the 19th we saw the perinatologist again. Dominic weighs 3lb8oz and Christian
weighs 3lb1oz. You both look healthy and Dr. Warsaw said you’re growing concordantly so great news. You’re both
breech right now. If you don’t flip head down I will have to have a c-section. Dr. Roberts thinks I can make it to 36
weeks if I stay on bedrest. 34 weeks is the magic number for twins, he said. Anytime after that and there should be no problems.
When
I look in the mirror, this is what I see. Today’s date: 8/20/04.
Huge belly! I look the same everywhere
else, but my belly is enormous. All the weight I’ve gained has been straight out. It’s very hard on my back. My
fingers are a bit swollen, I had to take my wedding rings off about 2 months ago. My feet swell if I get too hot or do too
much. My belly button sticks out like a little volcano – still an innie but it’s raised. I am already bored with
bedrest.
Ways
your father has made this pregnancy more comfortable for me.
At 32 weeks I was put on bedrest. Robert
rearranged the den so that I could play on the computer laying down.
My
baby shower. Who arranged it. Friends and loved ones who attended. Gifts I received.
August 28th (last Saturday in
August). Katie arranged it. Auntie Megan, Susan, Teddie, Nanny, Nana Terry, Morgan and Courtney, Jeanie and Amanda, Amy, Janine.
We received lots of beautiful clothes, a playpen, swing, 2 bouncy seats, 2 teddy bear, baby monitors, bottles, toys, socks,
diapers, blankets, baby safety things.
Today’s
date is 9/3/04. My comfort level right now is…
It’s bloody hot out. Not as hot as
it has been, it’s in the lower 80s. Sunny, a few clouds. I am very uncomfortable. My belly is huge and I have to pee
all the time. I can’t sleep good, I can’t breathe, and my ankles are a bit swollen.
I
had a doctor’s appointment today, 9/7/04 at 3:45pm. I’m 34 weeks pregnant.
I had protein in my urine dip – blood
pressure 155/95. Was sent straight to Leigh Memorial for cesarean.
My
suitcase for the hospital is ready. Here’s what I packed…
Well I never really finished packing. We
didn’t even have the bag with us when we went to the hospital. Mitch went and picked it up.
Denim maternity dress to go home in.
Cameras and film
Baby outfits
Hair ties
Shower stuff
Hairbrush
Makeup
Multiple Pregnancy Sourcebook
Where I was and what time of day it was when labor started. Who was with me.
I went in for the usual weekly appointment
with Dr. Roberts on 9/7/04 at 3pm. I was 34w3d. Dr. Roberts looked over my vitals and said it was time for a c-section because
I had full pre-eclampsia. My blood pressure was 155/95, and there was protein in the urine dip. So Dr. Roberts sent us straight
to the hospital and met us there. I went into the OR around 6pm.
What
I remember about the ride. What time we got to the hospital. Who greeted us.
I called my mom as soon as we left Dr.
Roberts’ office. It was about 4:30pm when we got to Leigh Memorial. I was very scared and crying. I was afraid for the
babies, and of the surgery. Robert called Mitch and Katrina while the nurse took some blood to test for HELLP and started
an IV, so that Mitch could bring my hospital bag to us. They put monitors on my belly and you were both doing fine. My blood
pressure was still going up.
My
memories of labor…
No labor! I had a spinal, then they put
in a foley, then Robert was allowed to come in while they prepped my belly. He sat next to my head, behind the drape. Everything
seemed to be going so fast. The anesthesiologist was really nice, and both nurses were great. Everyone was very calm and supportive,
and that helped me to be calm. Christian was born at 6:30pm, and Dominic was a minute behind him. My blood pressure was 195/115
when I got out of surgery. Both boys scored 8/9 on their Apgars.
How your father participated and “held up” through labor.
He sat next to me and told me it would
be okay. I was very scared, and shaking hard.
The
first time I saw you and held you.
When you were born, they gave you both
to your daddy to hold. He looked very stunned to hold both of you. Then they took you to the nursery while I got sewn back
up. Once I was in my room, I got hooked up to a magnesium sulfate IV, which made me feel very tired and sick. It was to prevent
seizure and help lower my blood pressure. Mag sulf is a neural depressant. Because of that, and you two being preemies, they
didn’t bring you to me until late that night, and only Christian could come. Dominic was under the oxy-hood. I couldn’t
believe you were mine. You were so tiny and delicate. Robert took a picture of Dominic to show me since I couldn’t go
see him.
The
ride home from the hospital. Our first night at home.
Christian came home with me on 9/10. Dominic
stayed until 9/15. I was afraid your head would wobble too much. I made Robert drive really slowly. The first night was easy,
I pumped milk for you since you were too little to breastfeed, and held you all night. When Dominic came home, I was so happy!
We had gone to visit him every day in the hospital, and I just cried while I held him, and then cried because I had to leave
him there. You both curled up together in the crib and slept happily.
