These are my opinions only, and are highly subjective. My wife probably won't even agree with me! Your mileage may vary.

Starting from the North, and going in a southerly direction:

There's a place in Monson, ME, about 8 miles south of Greenville, called Spring Creek Bar-B-Q. Very good stuff. It's run by Mike and Kim. He smokes in the yard using ironwood (that's what he calls it) in a number of large smokers. I stop by when I'm (almost annually) in the area. It's a must-stop. The rating of 8 reflects only the limited menu, which consists of whatever Mike feels like smoking the day before. My last visit was July 2004, but I got there early in the day (10:00 AM), right at opening. Ribs weren't ready, but I managed to console myself with a chopped (not pulled) pork sandwich. It was a very tasty breakfast. Note that I drove 90 minutes north from Bangor to get there, adding 3 hours to my (southerly) drive home. No matter - it was worth it, and I brought back a bucket of pork so my wife could have some too. (She'd have been very upset if I hadn't shared.) They are typically closed on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Call ahead all other times, because they tend to run out.

In Eliot, ME there's a branch of the Muddy River Smokehouse. The main outlet is in Portsmouth NH. The food is pretty good. The beer selection in Portsmouth is better, but you can get draft Smutty in either location. I'm a happy guy.

In Manchester NH, you'll find Down'n'Dirty on Amory Street, just up behind St. Mary's Catholic church in Frenchtown (the west side of the river...). Used to be the only place around to get real barbecue. I stopped in recently (May 2006) to find that Rick Brickman has sold the place to a couple of young guys, professionally-trained chefs both. The recipes have changed somewhat. There is less smoke in the meat than before, so I've downgraded them from a 9 to an 8. I'm a strong believer in smoke. Gotta have it! The sampler plate had tasty pulled pork, tender ribs, a quarter chicken, very good beans, excellent cornbread, and what seems to be Rick's coleslaw. There are three sauces on the table (hot, mild, and sweet) and I suspect they still keep the really hot sauce behind the counter. The new owners are very affable and really interested in their customers' opinions about the food.

Also in Manchester is a place called KC's. The food is pretty good, I'll give them that, but the only large dining room surrounds the bar, and I prefer my smoke to be in the meat, not in the air. The "non-smoking" area is too close to the smoking area - they share the same air, and I'm put off by that. I call it a 7 for food, 5 for atmosphere. Probably pretty good for a takeout, but I live too far away for that.

There are a number of Smokey Bones around, most of which took the place of Red Lobster. Smokey Bones is to barbecue what Red Lobster is to seafood. I'm sure you catch my drift. And they don't have collards.

In Somerville you'll find Redbone's, which I'll give about a 7. Servings are large - you won't leave hungry.

In Arlington (as well as a location in Newton that I've not visited) is Blue Ribbon. I'll give it an 8. The food is good. A bit on the pricey side, but they have a lot of sauces, and they're not too far away.

On Route 3A in Burlington, Lester's opened up "recently" (as of July 2005). It's good to have another place open in the area. I work in Bedford, the next town over. Being a barbecue junkie, I had to try it out, so the wife and I dropped by one evening. The Memphis ribs were pretty good. Could have been a bit meatier, but they were cooked just right, though they lacked the huge smoky flavor I go for. Collard greens were perhaps a little undercooked, as were the baked beans. Macaroni and cheese was very tasty. The potato salad was good, but had a lot of dill - not my favorite, but my wife seemed to like it. Cornbread in a muffin shape was tasty, but drier than my mother-in-law's, bless her dear departed soul. The green beans were good - seasoned with a little bit of vinegar, they were interesting. Nice touch. The pulled pork was nicely done. There were a number of sauces available, and I particularly liked the hot - tasty and hot, but not overwhelming. And finally, the chicken was tasty, but very dry, and not enough smoke.

In Waltham, on Moody Street, is Bison County. A solid 7. Yes, you can get bison. Alligator, too, if memory serves.

A block away from Bison County is Jake's Dixie Roadhouse. A recent tip from a friend brought us there for dinner. Ribs were very good, chicken was very good, pulled pork was very good. Could have used more smoke, but that seems to be my theme. My biggest problem is that the sides are picked for you. Cornbread is dense and flavorful, but perhaps a bit dry. Beans were good, though my wife didn't care for them much. Coleslaw was a positive for both of us. I should have tried the collards, but at an addition $2.49? Maybe they'll let me slide on their no-substitutions policy. A nice selection of beer, both bottled and draft, is available. Cask-pulled bitter from Watch City Brewing down the street was very nice. Fried chicken livers were good, as were the fried grits cakes, which were unknown to us previously. The gumbo was too spicy for Peg, but I really liked it. They were out of pecan pie, but the peanut butter pie was just wonderful. Hot, fresh coffee as an accompaniment was well received. (I mean, a place that is serious about coffee, too, is a good place to eat!) And the slice of watermelon that came with each meal was a nice touch. 8+

Out in Sunderland is Bub's BBQ. A solid 3, 4 with a tailwind. Students love it because it's pretty cheap and they don't have to dress up.

If you're in Sunderland, a much better time would be had by going to West Hatfield - not at all that far away - and popping in to Holy Smokes. Yeah, there's a connection there. This is a converted church in town, and it's very nicely renovated. Still looks like a church. There's stained glass and all! The menu is excellent, and they have a small selection of good beers.  I've eaten there a couple of times, once with my brother and once with my wife. It's a bit of a haul from the old abode here in Ayer, so we don't get out that way often. Pork ribs are awesome. We saw the beef ribs on special once, and immediately thought of Fred Flintstone - looked more like brontosaurus ribs to me and Griz. Peggy says the pulled pork is good. The Tuscan white beans, though completely out of place in a barbecue establishment, are wonderfully garlicky, as though you stepped into the French countryside. Chef's beans were good, cornbread was tasty, if a little dry, and the macaroni and cheeses rated high on Peggy's list. I'm going to go back for the grilled Ahi, but it's tough to go there when there's so much good barbecue on the menu... A solid 9.

There's a place out in Gill on Route 2 that has a sign reading "The Bar-Be-Que". Haven't had the gumption to stop in yet, though I pass through that area occasionally....Hmmm. I could call it research. I'll bring the Pepcid. Last few times I've been past, it didn't look like anybody was home...As of December 2006, I haven't even seen a vehicle in the parking lot for over six months.

There's another place out in that vicinity that just came up on the radar. Thanksgiving Day 2006 we were driving west to a nice family Thanksgiving dinner. Lo and behold, into view comes the Smoking Hippo. It's where the Stardust Cafe (or Starlight Cafe, some such) used to be, but we never ate there, and wouldn't have reported on it anyway, but it's in Erving. I recently stopped in there for an early dinner. I had the "ribs". I call them ribs because that't what was listed on the menu. I don't know what kind of ribs they were, but because the bones appeared to have been roughly parallel before this particular critter was dismembered, I'm willing to go along. I ordered the "spicy" when offered that or "mild". The portion was good enough, but these "ribs" were coated with a paste of God-knows-what. I couldn't identify the flavor, and scraped most of it off, leaving a glob of brown goo on the plate along with the pile of "bones". The fries were good, if rather pedestrian, and the clam chowder was, quite surprisingly, pretty tasty. I got a pulled-pork sandwich to go for my wife. She took a couple of tentative bites to try it out, and passed. The pulled pork seemed to have the same goop on it that engulfed the ribs, even though I ordered the pork as "mild". Our dog Cassie was more than happy to chow it down, but then again, the dog licks her own ass. As I told my sister, I eat at these places so you don't have to. Note to Phantom Gourmet - don't bother driving out. Save the gasoline and wear and tear on your automobile.

In Ayer, Massachusetts, just a few blocks from the house, Tejano Loco opened in March or April of 2006. No web site yet. Rob Martinez says he started smoking meats with his dad in South Texas when he was 12! I tried a half chicken. Very tasty, but the breast was a little dry. Could have been cooked a little less, I suppose. The green beans were very tasty, but could have been cooked a little more for the general public. I like 'em kind of crunchy, though. His potato salad was very good. Overall, I think it's a 7 and could prove a favorite place. He's got ribs, pulled pork, and brisket that I haven't tried yet. If I had an unlimited food budget (and a very high metabolism) I'd be back to check Rob out more often. But I can't quite justify eating myself silly and paying $11 to WeightWatchers every week. That's just be silly!

In Leominster, of all places, I stumbled upon a new barbecue place - newly opened in October 2005, called Mojo's. I think it was Devine Intervention that led me to discover this place. Traffic was backed up on Route 2 westbound on my weekly trek to WeightWatchers (go figure, huh?), and I drove past it. Don't worry. I went right back after the meeting and blew my points budget for the day all to hell. St. Louis ribs were very tasty, though they could have used more smoke (I think that'll be on my headstone - "Needs more smoke"). The cornbread had a good flavor, but was a little on the dry side. Garlic mashed potatoes were very good, but the broccoli was a bit overdone for my tastes - it would have been just right for my wife. Memphis and Carolina Mustard sauces on the side were excellent. No collards (which I mentioned to them - along with the need for more smoke) but the sides menu was pretty good with seasoned rice, baked beans, slaw, and fries beyond what I ordered. I'll be going back. Well, I went back with my wife. She had the pulled pork, which was good, but again, not enough smoke. The  brisket was good, but suffered the same problem. I had the seafood special that night, Cajun Spiced & Grilled Mahi Mahi, which was delicious. I had the jambalaya, which wasn't at all like any jambalaya I've ever had. Very little flavor, the sausage was unlike any andouille sausage I'd ever have, and it really didn't stand out. The seasoned rice had like allspice or nutmeg in it, but very little other flavor. I'm all for artistic license, but it was not what I expected in a barbecue place. The barbecue baked beans seemed an awful lot like B&M, though the owner (Jay) and the kitchen manager (Brian) say they weren't. They are holding at a 5, but we've promised to provide them with some bean recipes, as soon as the right one comes in from West Virginia. Now closed. I hear tell the guys want to open a "bistro" in Hudson or something.

In Shrewsbury, almost in Northboro, is a place called Willy's Steakhouse. Used to be G. Willikers. I'd call it a 6. Not bad, but we probably won't go back.

In Marlboro (ding ding ding ding - we have a WINNAH) is Firefly's. It's on Route 20, east of downtown, just past Hosmer St. and it's easy to miss because it's off to the left and above the road. If you make it to Sudbury, turn around - you'll be able to see the neon to guide you there. A 10. The only possible failing is that it's not actually in North Carolina. Their cornbread is A-1. We've been back several times, and always get excellent service. Ask for Emily. The beer selection is pretty good (well, they have Guinness, so I'm happy). They have a selection of hot sauces that will floor you. There must be 60 bottles in the rack. There is also a selection of their own barbecue sauces - four or five of them, which are all excellent, along with a condiment bar (the mustard-pickled onions are very tasty). There is another location in Framingham, which I've not visited, but I have to think that the food is every bit as good.

I ran across Armadillo Depot on Park Ave in Worcester a couple of years ago, after not having been in there for a while. I hadn't liked it previously, but I had heard that it was open again under new management (chef-owned), and, well, barbecue IS barbecue, and I hadn't had lunch, and it was 4PM... So I stopped in, totally prepared to have some adequate barbecue, and I was very pleasantly surprised. The potato salad was excellent, the collard greens were very good (though I'd have preferred a finer chop...). Cornbread came as a large muffin, which is OK, but I prefer regular ol' cornbread. It was very tasty, though - maybe a little on the dry side, but with an interesting "crunchiness". I'm guessing a course-ground cornmeal. The St. Louis ribs were prime! Tender, succulent, smoky as all get-out, and lots of them. Only St. Louis ribs are available, but if you're going to select one rib to specialize in, this is the way to go. I got a full rack, and ended up taking part of it home. I don't know if that's ever happened before. So, if you're tooling around Worcester, and have a barbecue jones going on, stop in. Second trip in, brought the missus, and she enjoyed the pulled pork (which was quite yummy), thought the collards were OK (and she hates collards). She agrees that the potato salad is "two-thumbs-up" good. I only ordered half a rack of ribs, and still had too much to eat! The brisket (of course I went back) is great. Chicken is good. Every trip has resulted in a good meal. Highly recommended. I now find that if I'm in the Worcester area, and it's time for a meal, I'll probably stop into Armadillo Depot. These pigs have not died in vain... Unfortunately, there is no alcohol served, but it's a minor detraction from this Valhalla for barbecue. I'm very sad that this place closed down. Very sad indeed. I stopped by one afternoon, mouth watering from anticipation, and BAM! the doors were closed, locked down tight. Color me sad.

In Framingham is Tennessee's. It was started by the guy (Steve Uliss) who perfected his technique, sold the shop, and started Firefly's. It's between Routes 9 and 30, just NW of the WalMart. Pretty good stuff - I used to eat there once a week when I worked in the area - A solid 8. Tennessee's has other shops in Milford, Braintree, and Peabody but we've not been to any of them to try the food. I might surmise that it's similar to the Framingham store.

South Attleboro is home to the Memphis Roadhouse. It, too is a 10. They have great steaks, wonderful barbecue, great red beans, and a good margarita. Because it's more than an hour from home, though, it's tough to make a case for going there rather than saving 40 minutes and heading to Firefly's...

In South Windsor you can find Little Taste of Texas. Now, I don't have any qualms with Texas as a state (or is it still a Territory?), but barbecue? I'm a big fan of East Coast barbecue, or at least east of the Mississippi. My opinion, and you might well disagree, is that in Texas, they don't barbecue so much as they burn animal carcasses. My sister lived in Texas for a while, and swears by this place. My other sister and her husband though LToT was great until I turned them on to Fire Fly's. I sprang for the meal both times, so it was a scientifically-conducted experiment. Now they're clamoring to get back to Marlboro. (I should probably bring my other sister there just for fairness...)

In Uncasville CT, at the Mohegan Sun casino complex you will find Big Bubba's BBQ. The food is tasty, but I found very little evidence of smoke flavor in the meat. Pulled pork was good, St. Louis ribs were good, barbecued chicken was excellent - nice and moist. Red beans and rice rate an 8, dirty rice about a 4. Anchor Steam beer on tap, but at $5/pint was pretty dear. I had some good calimari as an appetizer - the marinara was closer to chili, though, with a lot of cumin. Overall, I think we'd rate it a 6. If there was more smoke, or if we didn't have to wait 90 minutes (with a non-functioning paging buzzer to boot!), it could have been an 8...

There used to be a Smokey Joe's over near the Burlington Mall, but the souring economy took them out a couple of years ago. They had a Whiskey turkey that was just AWESOME!

A place in Jamaica Plain, Jake's Boss Barbecue, was reportedly excellent, but has closed because of the owner's health, apparently. Too bad, though he might open another spot if  his health improves. I gathered this information from the Globe, so I'm hopeful that something reopens. Jake is frying and smoking turkeys for Thanksgiving, though.

Last updated December 18, 2006