Some nuts take a gun and open fire;

Some nuts nip you on the ear;

Some nuts back-bite, dressed in women's attire,

With black lace panties and brassiere.

 

Sad to say, it's clear:

Some turkeys lacking mother-love

Slay their children out of spite—

Tiny tots, if they're given a shove,

Could wind up in the deep tonight.

 

Just look around; you're sure to find

The woods are full of kooks of ev'ry shape and kind.

From Heaven's Gate, L.A., to Waco, Tex.,

You have to wonder if they play with full decks.

 

But one group's flakier than all the rest;

They're off the cotton-pickin' wall.

Although it's been said many times, half in jest,

Hare Krishnas beat all.