Gershwin's Swanee

 

Swinish?!

Paris Hilton,

Lindsay Lohan;

Lord knows, they're swinish!

It's no surprise to me

That they teamed up with B-

R-I-T-N-E-

Why is Britney

Hangin' with 'em,

Bangin' with 'em?

Why? 'Cause they're swinish!

But then, the haute monde always adores

Triumvirates of swinish whores.

 

Paris?

Britney?

Come on, can you doubt they gitney?

Lindsay?

Kinsey

Wrote her a whole extra tome.

 

 

Gershwin's I Got Rhythm

 

I search Yahoo!^SM,

I search Google^SM;

I use Keywords^SM,

But I can't find any good porn.

 

I surf Usenet,

I troll chatrooms;

I cruise weblogs,

But I don't find any good porn.

 

All those boob jobs

Look lopsided.

(Here's what I did: [Ha!]

Laughed with scorn.)

 

I'll use PayPal^SM,

I'll use plastic;

I'll blow big bucks,

But I'll bet, as sure as you're born,

What I get is Photoshopworn^™.

 

 

Gershwin's But Not For Me

 

They're wearing thongs a lot,

You must agree.

They're showing all they've got,

As you can see.

I'm thrown for quite a loss,

Each time I come across

A bit of fanny floss,

Or two or three.

 

I guess a thong will do,

If you're the type;

And there's a bonus, too:

You needn't wipe.

But when it comes to sex,

I hope they break their necks,

'Cause there's no thong for me.

 

 

Gershwin's I've Got A Crush On You

 

I've got the Russian flu;

Fever's high;

Feelin' awful achy;

Like to die.

My nose and throat

Are substandard;

My small intestine

Is gerrymandered.

I've got dibs

On the loo!

(Pass the Kaopectate®,

P.D.Q.)

My gut has turned to pure mush,

Just because a Russian gave me the flu.