Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but Ritalin shall drive it far from him (?)

            If your child has been diagnosed with Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder, or Oppositional-Defiant Disorder, or Conduct Disorder, (and now it appears that Bipolar Disorder is in vogue as a diagnosis for misbehaving chilren), you have been duped.  What?  Do you really think these “disorders” so prevalent among children today just suddenly appeared out of nowhere to plague us in recent years?  Is your child’s disobedience to be classified as a disorder?  Is a lifetime of  (expensive) drug dependence the only solution to your child’s inability to behave?  Sadly, many have given themselves over to the lie that children are born innocent and good, and that any behavior that might lead you to believe otherwise is the result of a brain disease or mental/behavioral disorder.  Forgotten is the truth God tells us about children – that they are conceived in sin, and begin sinning as soon as they are born (Psalm 51:5; 58:3).  If you are sold on the basic goodness of man, and the idea that bad behavior must be due to some biological screw-up, and that only medical doctors know how to cure this “illness,” then you probably won’t like what is written here.  Even so, here are some steps to take to “cure” ADHD and like disorders:

1.      Get rid of the Playstation.  Oh, come on.  Admit it.  Your ADHD kid plays video games.  Haven’t you noticed that your child’s attention is no longer operating at a deficit when he’s focusing on his favorite video game?  Hours and hours of loud sounds and bright flashing lights have made it very difficult for many children to pay attention to far more boring things, like words in a book or people talking.  This leads us to step 2.

2.      Control the television.  Remove it from the home if that’s what it takes to limit your child’s television intake.  It has gotten to the point that if you are not in a giant purple dinosaur suit, your child cannot pay attention to you.  If your child can focus on the television, he can learn to focus on other things too. 

3.      Purchase a ½ to ¾ -inch thick dowel rod and use it on your child’s backside when he is being disrespectful and/or disobedient.  This includes when he is ignoring you or behaving like an animal.  “He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes” (Proverbs 13:24).  “Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him”(22:15).  “Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.  Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell” (23:13,14).  Do not discipline in anger, but in love.  Do not use the rod on the head, or the shoulders, or anywhere else than the bottom.  We are not advocating child abuse here, just spanking.  Use the rod, not your hands – your child should not be terrified of your hands, but they ought to have a healthy fear of the rod.  Be consistent – lazy parenting is a form of child abuse, and can lead to physical abuse if the parents discipline only in frustration and anger rather than in a calm, methodical fashion.  Also, remember to restore your child after disciplining him – no holding grudges, no staying angry with your child.  I highly recommend that you try to track down a copy of  “What the Bible Says About Child Training” by Richard Fugate.  To the best of my knowledge, it’s currently out of print.  I was given a copy by a friend, and found another copy on Ebay (I recently found it on Ebay going for $0.99), and it profoundly affected the orderliness of our household (Amazon.com can be helpful in tracking down out-of-print books as well).

4.      Train your children how to do what is right.  Correction is not enough, you must also teach your child.  “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6).  Train them how to sit.  If they refuse to sit, that is rebellion.  Correct them with the rod if they will not sit still.  Train them to be quiet when someone else is talking.  If they refuse, correct them with the rod for their rebellion.  Your ADHD kid can’t seem to pay attention, but has anyone ever taught him to pay attention?  Catechize your children.  When teaching them, ask them questions about what was taught, and make them produce the correct answer.  If they do not know the answer, have them repeat the answer until they remember it.  If they refuse to repeat, that is rebellion that should be corrected with the rod.  To our modern ears, this sounds like a rather harsh and uncreative teaching method, I know.  But it works, and it has worked for hundreds, even thousands, of years.  Here’s the catechism our children are working on.

5.      Take responsibility.  Treatment for ADHD and like disorders can involve having the children in special classes at school, having a TSS (Therapeutic Support Staff) follow the child around at home and school, counseling sessions with a therapist, monthly visits to the psychiatrist for medicine adjustments, and sometimes partial hospitalizations or inpatient hospitalizations.  When is a child in all of these services being raised by the parents?  Seeing your children for a few hours in the evening is not raising them – it’s visiting them.  The people doing the child raising are those teaching him that he must be on drugs to behave, that he must have a one-on-one staff with him at certain points during the day in order to act normal, that he has little or no choice over his actions.  Some parents prefer their children being raised this way because it allows them an out if the kid turns out to be a criminal terror.  “I brought my child to you for help and he’s still the same!  I’m holding you responsible if he does anything!” are mantras I’ve heard before (I happen to work in a mental health facility).  Newsflash:  It’s YOUR child.  God gave your child to YOU.  The child is YOUR responsibility – not the state’s, not the public school’s, not the local hospital’s.  It doesn’t take a village, it takes a father and mother who take their God-ordained roles seriously.

I realize that this may not have been what you wanted to hear.  But I believe it to be the truth.  I am currently raising five little ones.   Two of my children are difficult.*  They fuss and fidget, and have a hard time paying attention when an adult is speaking.  I have no doubt that if I chose to do so, I could walk them into a doctor’s office right now and come away with a diagnosis of ADD or ADHD on at least one of them (on the same token, they might also be labeled “gifted,” since the criteria for a gifted child and an ADHD child are virtually indistinguishable).  The simple fact is this:  Children are born sinners.  Their tendency is to disobedience and rebellion.  Foolishness is bound around their hearts.  They must be corrected and trained in the way they should go.  God promises that if we correct and train our children according to His Word, then foolishness will be driven from them, and their souls will be delivered from hell.  No such promise is attached to drugging our children and turning them over to others for “treatment” for their foolish behaviors.  Will you believe the child psychiatrist who tells you your child has an incurable disorder that must be treated with a lifetime of drugs?  Or will you believe God?

“Let God be true, but every man a liar” (Romans 3:4). 

[even if the man is a board certified child psychiatrist –gmw].

*As of the most recent revision of this  page (8/03), I no longer consider those two children "difficult."  Diligent child training works.  I have another child now which I would consider to be difficult, but I expect good results from training him as well.