you are so beautiful
the unknowable
intensified breath of morning
deep inside me
and i want to
care for you.
in the smell of leaves
a child
jumpshouts
over a rock
in timeless movement of air
and lands breathless
in coolness...
fog glowing
with pins of light
the wind rushes
the leaves like rain.
you are dazed
wondering
why you are dry.
princess
who lives in the country castle
each sunrise
you reach your hands
across the morning
and wash the night
from your eyes
with the dew
and when I see your dew swept smile
it makes me light as the spring breeze
[Sent to Martha in 1972]
it's winter now
but summer comes with the song
somehow more than before
a twisted trail of memories
wind that pushes the sail
from port to hazy harbor
but stops short,
i close my eyes and listen
i'll tell you what i remember
since september
a pizza parlor with a juke box
a cup of root beer
walking a ravaged sidewalk
with an irish girlfriend
a drunken talk
and the song
and me being the song
Cold dripping
underclothes
and raising fog
to peer through
city streets
rain in the morning
warning of dusk
and my misery breaks
as the sun shines
through the heaviness of fog
halleluyah for warm rain
halleluyah warm rain
so we danced
as leaves swirling
in the rain
with the sun's blessing
never landing, but laughing
and sang
crouched on tenement steps
sang slowly trancelike
with newspapers for caps
the sun dried us
while the rain cleaned us
and joy was a much handled sorrow
of rain before sun.
my fantasy for fall
is the turning of leaves
all changing colors
and the turning of something
inside me
now i am mellow
winter imprisons !!!
with coldness-that encompasses
the body yet pushes forth
the heat of man
spring is rebirth
from the tyranny of snow
(it is the most
of all the times
that never were)
lovers in the fields
the changing season yields
summer is the shadows
sweeping the plains
dry thoughts and
quick rains
it is you
turning from the day
lying in bed
but listening
with half an ear
to what the crickets said.
I wonder if things change
I keep changing
All the time
My opinions
My tailor
And my barber
Whose life is this
i'm living?
Who'se in charge here?
one hundred chefs
for just one stew.
i balance my life
into imbalance
talking in my sleep
about consciousness
every time someone says:
take me to your leader.
i laugh
i think i know there isn't one.
I am hoping that we
can purge the past
from despair -
commanding rain
to cleanse our days
of seeming sorrow,
and sun
to make her warmth
as newness.
Oh joy!
you are the much
handled sorrow
of rain after sun.
the mind is a midwinter thaw
the ice melting to water
and we rising from sleep
in fluid afterthought
almost ready for action,
yet the cold coming
and arresting change
telling us to wait
holding the world in suspension.
and the warm again
slowly stirring the world to motion
and then the cold,
and so we wait
wait for a change in the weather
when we are the weather
and the wind.
These Things that are no longer
Rooted in my earth
you come gently
tender
new leaf
tearing
green moistness
as whistles for children.
With beauty
not fixed in wax
but as cells
changing inside
with the seasons.
Overflowing
my roots but never saturating
singularly--
the earth inside.
Now I see
signs of life
telling me
in your breathpulse
These Things
that are no longer.
The water like your love
The water like your love floods swelling-
onto the beach in a flowing line of sorrow.
I am dreaming - there is no clash of earth to water.
You left me behind with salt-lined lips,
as I flew for the moment
which drew back as the sea.
I hear a distant lapping on the beach,
water sighing on the sand,
and slowly fadeing.
Like our love drawing back - leaving only
your seaweed hair upon the beach.
[Given by Alfred to Murray in 1969 (approximately)]
turning
smiling
she claspt her hands
running a finger
down their age,
and tried to tell him
that she was tired that
their love must change.
finally, he knew it,
and thought of
when he was a child,
and smiled.
it was good.
we have looked
in each other's eyes
seeing sunrise.
he touched her lightly;
she thought of when she was mother,
and said nothing.
he stood somewhere else
in his manhood,
or childhood-
perhaps before that.
she knew it was good
to have gotten here
to have turned.
he smiled
thinking of no ending
and no beginning,
yet not knowing.
he didn't care,
and he turned.
[Marlboro College 1970-1971]
Schoolbell
Seeing only the haze
where the river--
walking on lovelegs
and sitting
among twigs and rocks,
we touched and kissed
without passion.
A smile flickers--
playfully between us;
I pick her up
she struggles'
gasping
circling--fell.
And through her eyes, I see,
gushing water and God's calm
sunlight on a patch of green--
now dancing in a dream
on our backs.
And we must go
some bastard god
has rung a bell
indicating, direction
pointing
to a blackboard
without memories.
The Teacher
(HERE IS RELEVANCE ! Right here
my fingertips
can not hold it dear...
scratch my back-
I have an itch
that time does not erase.)
....................
He recalls many tales
(none of which I know)
while I sit in feigned interest
of bigone days
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN !
He tells pathetic jokes
and I laugh on cue
but stretch and YAWN too.
TODAY-he'll read us a STORY!
One that's gross and gruesome...
.......................
But I only sit
while we listen to tales
of men in time recording time.
Is it worthwhile?
No one forces the question.
We are students and Must play
Our mental pantomime.
Because
Godgiven is the gift of time
to erase and recreate !
All that, now slips
through our fingers-
that dream-like lingers
in our minds.
Well...
Recreate we can and do-
like the war to end all wars !
(The whore to end all whores
stands on the street corner
with bombs for tits...)
And my mind lingers.
walking down the street
my shoes on slush
to the beat of an old song
and i am almost there
but here the ghosts throng
to cloud my way
this is not today
but yesterday or tomorrow
or somewhere deep in time
the footsteps rhyme...
but this is not the way
here my shoes meet slush
and the winds rush
and the ghosts throng
and the song the song is the same
with the lyrics clipped
i forget the name
and they will not stop
but this is not today
and i'm walking
thinking i'm not growing older
thinking this is today
this is not today
let's go to the dining hall
i shall be older in the spring
and have another meal
it's part of the deal
some food so the body won't deteriorate
while the minds cultivate
we are old priests
forming our decisions
for the world's precisions
now we are doctors
for the serpents have risen
and we shall find the cure
those who follow will endure
we have traded our nightsticks
for rectal thermometers
but that's much later
this is not today
[Marlboro College 1970- 1971]
nancy
whose waking dream
is to fly from the bondage
of vague words
into the all consuming dance
to be unearthly
and still simultaneously
rooted in the richness
of all and everything
Dream Dance
Quiet joy with blond lightness
I dreamed of finding you
like cooling mist
for my jungle mind.
Dreamed:
we were dancing
(and you blushed
at words)
I helplessly held
you, delicate,
as we swept circles
of dream music with rhythm
we created.
I kissed moonlit eyes
not wanting
or
seeing
more--
we danced on on
hair flying--on
But I lost you
(thinking I would be gone
only a moment
back
to a questioning reality)
Lost you in my waking
after waiting
waiting
madly
to prolong
our awe filled
dream dance.
dance to control
the wind and the way;
i know nothing
i must say
about the dance.
We are loud voices
comprehending the togetherness
of flashing lights and beer bottles
dancing in the rubble
with one ear to music
and three feet to the wind
navigating as you would
an iceboat with fingertips
but the wind or music
will change and we'll be caught
ridiculous in the vortex
of forces that have passed
and we'll know nothing
for a moment
but the beat of music
or the wind of life
what we must understand
in the showplace of time
in the turning of hand
is that there is only the dance
Sit Still Dear
Sit still dear
when I tell you
that I lost my voice.
It happened en route
to get the kids at the dentist.
( I couldn't tell him
about your molar,
but he was understanding. )
The kids were funny:
daddy daddy
what's the matter daddy--
cat got your tongue?
kids are like that.
I'm driving them home.
I hope the grocer understands
when I point to your order,
and the policeman...
you know--it's strange
all the things one can't do
without a voice;
I never thought of it.
Never thought of it...
Almost home now.
I miss you; didn't know it was possible
to miss someone so much.
the kids are giggling--
still think it's funny,
and my hands are sweating
hoping your arms will understand.
Wishing I could sing now
or whisper thoughts to you.
And wishing somehow
I could tell you
about this day.
CALM OF NIGHT
WITHIN THE SWELTERING BRONX.
I CAN NOT SLEEP;
I AM THINKING OF OUR CONVERSATION
A GENTLE WHISPER
LIKE GRANDPA'S STURDY CLOCK
A SHARING TIMEPIECE
Cold grey sky and the reality
of rocks beneath my toes.
It's six o'clock in the morning
and grandpa is not far from here
dying slowly. I should visit him.
This morning I awoke with a start,
and wanted to visit him,
but six in the morning
is a very curious time
to visit a dying man.
(one has to walk off the sleep
and shudder at the reality)
But he can't die--not now
not while I walk the sea pounded rocks
and think of nothing but death.
And this dawn rising slowly
on the yellow walls,
and heating silently the air
inside the pane of glass
until it slithers with a medicinal smell.
And ninety years of human dignity
contracts in one unknown moment
to lie, and lie patheticly.
But in memory now
there's a different smell
of grass and wild lilacs--
he always loved that smell.
what is this force
turning inward
under force
to each man his cross
til he stumbles
on a rock on the road
inside himself
and curses things
for being as they are
finding excuses
and coffee understandings
for waiting
waiting in the name of waiting
o name
name name na me
give me a name
that i might understand
the heaviness of gravity
the anticipation
in the endless waiting
for the waiting to end
our faces turn towards
a voice raised
alive with the excitement
of noise
and the relief of other
**********************
yet he whispers your name
in the fire the water
the earth and the air
ANCIENT VOICES BREAK THROUGH
MY CONTRIVED THOUGHT
IN AN INHUMAN RAGE;
THEY ARE TESTING MY SOUL
TO SELECT AND THINK
UPON SOME SINGLE THOUGHT
( A THOUGHT TO BE DESTROYED
AND RECONCEIVED IN CONFUSION.)
CYNICALLY I KNOW THIS
AND I THINK
OF HUMAN DIGNITY
AND MUST LAUGH
AT THE SOUL'S INNOCENCE.
VOICES DEVOURING AND
LEAVING BROKEN DREAMS,
AND A NOTION OF FIRE.
IT MUST BE
THAT MY EYES ARE FUSED
IN THE SOUL'S UNREADINESS
we all go down to death
in the batting of an eye,
or the slowness of breath
those who remain sigh
for those before,
o herald in the night
light the way
for there must be leaders
followers
extras
as well as prima donnas.
you wish these things were different
for life is short
and so much suffering
and there is time
not always steady
the dime tapped on the counter
and the clothes washed on the line
o herald in the night
light the way
for those who come by day
yet have no sight
a flower
gentle as breath
touching the earth
with strong fine roots
trembles slightly in the wind
but holds herself
up to the sun
beneath the mistleaf tree
a squirrel
surveys the multicolored oneness
of winter
poised in coolwet breath
and suddenly
the world is only fear
with running and greybrowness
i wonder what she hears
you run like a frightened doe
from the hand of a hopeful child
who wanted to watch you
and know you
and his hope becomes violence
the doe doesn't know the feeling of child
only the fear of the hand
and doesn't know that she doesn't know
not carried by a stale emotion
or pulled by an idle thought
or stretched by a muscle
you are stopped
for a moment
and receive the breath
and the deep rich bloods flowing inside
and for a moment
you are not a part
of the merciless movement of things
but a something that is close to something
beyond understanding
John, Al's brother, & a group of actors created this order for his poems which were read in clusters
in segments of the 1984 Cape Ann Theatre Production's "fund raiser" A Brother's Tribute
staged 10 years after Alfred's death. Although, it was impossible to order most
of Al's undated poems chronologically, it was thought that there was a thematic cohesiveness in each actor's poem cluster.
Also, he didn't title most of them, but John decided to underline
the 1st line of each poem; so that serves as a title of sorts.
The following 2 poems were read at the end of Al's last poem cluster:
Supplication For Alfred Lucius Hart
JOY
eludes
yet i avoi-
oh Lord, if I could find it
my soul
would plot
not
against itself
nor
Will
instinct
to thwart its intent.
JOY
eludes
yet i avoid-
oh Lord, if I should find it
lack
would transcend'
as fleshy temple
its essence
and
one in purpose
be
with love and beauty.
Joy
eludes
yet i avoid-
oh Lord, when I do find it
I
will dread
not
incapacity
nor
doubt if
I
Worthy be.
[John Lay Hart
12/12/75)