WALT WHITMAN AND THE SONG OF HIMSELF

1-3-10

Scene 3

(The stage of a theater.

A few row of seats.

There are ACTORS in rehearsal clothes on stage.

Over their clothes each wears pirate artifacts;

Cutlasses, hats, eye patches, peg legs, etc.

The ACTORS, hands to brows, peer out at the audience.

They SING. )

(Music Cue: YO HO!)

ACTORS

HELLO OUT THERE DEAR AUDIENCE

YOU'VE COME TO SEE OUR SHOW

THAT'S BECAUSE YOU LOVE THE THEATRE

OR YOU HAVE NO PLACE TO GO.

WHEN THE PLAY IS OVER

YOU'LL BE THE FIRST TO KNOW.

YO HO, YO HO, YO HO!

(Brief sailor’s dance)

BART

Shiver me timbers, Matey, the ship's been abandoned!

BETTY

There go the rats, Matey. Shiver me timbers!

MARIANNO

Here? Now?

ACTORS

HELLO OUT THERE DEAR TICKET BUYER

COME TO SEE OUR SHOW

NOTICE THAT THE TIDE IS HIGHER

BUT THE TWOFERS MAKE IT LOW.

THE SONGS THEY ALL ARE SINGABLE

FAMILIAR TUNES YOU KNOW.

YO HO, YO HO, YO HO!

(Brief sailor’s dance)

1-3-12

SHAWN

(Looking through spy glass)

Ram that cruise ship!

SARA

Seize them credit cards!

MAYA

SEE THAT MIZERABLE KID ON THE BARRICADE

WAVING A BANNER

AND SCREAMING THAT HE IS REVOLTING…

SHAWN

AND THE GUY WITH THE SHOE POLISH HAIR -

HE IS HAUNTING AN OPERA AND NOBODY CARES

THAT IT'S CLOSING…

(As long john silver)

HE'LL WALK THE PLANK HE WILL! AYE, MATEY!

SARA

AND THE FIDDLER UP HIGH

MAY HE DIE, DYE, DEE, DYE, DEE DIE!

ALL

HELLO OUT THERE YOU ONE HAND CLAPPERS

COME APPLAUD OUR SHOW

THE CHARACTERS ARE GONERS

BUT YOU'D NEVER KNOW.

SO IF WE ALL SHOULD SINK TO DEPTHS

YOU'RE NOT OBLIGED TO GO!

YO HO, YO HO. YO HO

IT’S YO HO, YO HO, YO HO

SING YO HO, YO HO, YO HO, YO HO, YO HO, YO HO,

AND YO HO!

(More DANCE. Breathless the singers raggedly stop)

SHAWN

I thought everybody gave up smoking. (PAUSE)

Any news from the Rialto?

BETTY

We are on the Rialto, darling.

We're waiting for sandwiches. Poop, poopie, doo...

BART

No one took my order.

1-3-13

SARA

Tuna hold the mayo.

MAYA

Bull shit to one cote, who's going to tell us?

BART

Marty Probono, I assume. He speaks for them.

MARIANO

I think they all got murdered.

(HE SINGS a run from LA BOHEME)

I'm in such good voice, too. Chops of gold!

MAYA

You are simply wasting it on these no show peasants.

SARA

You think the producer is really dead? It could be true, you know.

BETTY

And the director? And the writers?

And the choreographer who worked on the London stage?

And Don Jensen?

SHAWN

Who's he?

BETTY

The designer.

SHAWN

So where's the set? You left out the company manager,

the stage manager,

the electrician, the carpenter and the ushers.

This is an Equity Company, baby!

MARIANO

That's why we have to hang around for two weeks.

The salary bond was deposited with Equity. We're earning our money.

(Sings LA BOHEME)

MAYA

Shut up! I say let them keep the bonds, comrades.

This is too humilitating! I'd rather starve than work! Let's take a vote!

(Hands go up. Three for. Three against. Cupping hands over her mouth, shouting)

Who do I have to fuck to get out of this show?

1-3-14

PRO BONO

(ENTERING with WALT)

Me, my darling! I'm the show attorney;

keeper of the contracts.

MAYA

Le Droit de Seigneur!

SHAWN

So what does that mean?

MAYA

I'm all his. Is there a show or is there not a show?

PRO BONO

Well, the important thing is that I've brought the sandwiches.

BART

And who's that with you? Lefty or Godot?

PRO BONO

Walt Whitman.

BETTY

He's dead.

PRO BONO

Well, don't tell him. I bailed him out. HE IS ALIVE!

(TOSSES sandwiches. ACTORS catch.)

The money is in the bank, the Cast has been signed

and the opening date has been set!

The Curtain will go up on Ship Burning at the Houston

Street Hippodrome, on June 1.

BART

You sure?

(LOOKS at sandwich.)

Who's got my Tuna?

(SARA and BART exchange sandwich tosses)

We haven't even got a script yet. June first?

PRO BONO

I swear!

BETTY

But all we have is the show title; no script, Marty.

1-3-15

PRO BONO

Tonight we improvise.

You have each been assigned a role. You are Lady In Flames.

(To BART)

You are the Captain.

(To MARIANO)

You are the The Unselfish Member Of The Crew.

(To SARA)

Mother Of Suckling Twins.

SARA

Give me your hungry, your tired and your poor.

MAYA

Moi?

PRO BONO

Ship's Flapper,

SHAWN

Type casting. And my role, consigliore?

PRO BONO

Member of the band; tuba.

SHAWN

Switch me to violin and I'll play.

(To WALT)

You digging this Old Man?

(WALT is silent)

You want to know about Ship Burning?

MAYA

I want to know about Ship Burning.

(To WALT)

Where did you get the clothes Pop? Salvation Army?

(WALT is silent)

I'm sorry, none of my business.

Marty, in simple language: why is he here?

WALT

I'm looking for a Poem. I lost a poem.

BART

You won't find a poem at the Hippodrome. That rhymes.

(Snapping fingers, dancing, rapping)

Won't find a poem at the Hippodrome.

Won't find a poem at the Hippodrome. Etc.

1-3-16

SARA

(Seriously)

Don't you remember it?

WALT

Some of it. I wanted to paste it into the Ninth Edition.

SARA

The last edition of Leaves of Grass?

WALT

You know that?

SARA

Of course! Oberlin. Theatre Major. American Lit Minor.

Why did you want to paste it in?

WALT

It was important. It was the final poem. The last revision.

SHAWN

Getting a little spooky in here!

BETTY

(Mock shock)

Oh, my God, he is alive!

PROBONO

Looks alive. What do you think, Sara?

SARA

(Shrugs)

1892. Died in 1892.

(WALT reacts to the news of his demise)

In Camden.

WALT

Mickle Street. 322 Mickle Street. I was quite ill. Died?

BETTY

What's a Mickle Street? Nobody ever dies on a Mickle Street.

(To SARA)

Sara?

SARA

(Ignoring BETTY)

You know something about Whitman, Mister?

1-3-17

WALT

Almost everything. Almost every single word. I am Whitman.

PROBONO

(Nervous laughter)

It's your basic Elvis Presley act.

SHAWN

Spooky, spooky!

MAYA

Sara, give him his poem and get him out of here.

SARA

Cut it out!

(To WHITMAN)

It's not important if you are or not Whitman.

I'm not overly impressed that you look like him and dress like him.

It could be a Presley thing.

BART

Can't be a ghost, kid. The flesh is too solid. No ectoplasm.

SHAWN

Kidding aside, Pop.

It's like this.

You think you're this old poet

and we think we're in this play

at the Houston Street Hippodrome.

Maybe we are, see, and maybe we ain't, see.?

And maybe you are and maybe you ain't.

Very tres complique, right?

WALT

I am not here or you are not here.

It is one or the other. I can understand that.

Yet, perhaps, we are both not here

or as is probable we are both here.

(MUSIC CUE: PURE ILLUSION)

MAYA

Spooky.

THERE IS NO REALITY HERE

EVERYTHING IS SURREAL, MY DEARIE

MIRRORS SEE MIRRORS UP AND DOWN THE HALL

WORDS ECHO MEANINGS WE DON'T RECALL

SHAWN

Give us a theramyn sound.

MARIANO

THIS IS A PLAY WITHIN A PLAY

1-3-18

BART

(Imitating a musical saw)

WAH WAH WAH WAH........

MARIANO

ABOUT A POET WHO WRITES LINES ABOUT HIMSELF

AND READS EACH LINE THEN IN A BOOK

PUBLISHED BY KNOPF IN TWENTY NINETY NINE.

BART

THAT'S FINE BUT FILLED WITH CONFUSION

IS HE IS OR IS HE AIN'T IS PURE ILLUSION.

BETTY

THIS IS A SONG WITHIN A SONG

A SOLO SONG YOU SING ALONG WITH YOURSELF

ABOUT TWO LOVERS WHO FOREVER GLIMPSE EACH OTHER

FROM TWO DISTANT LOST HOTELS

BART

THAT'S SWELL BUT ONE HELL OF A CONFUSION

THE PEA BENEATH THE SHELL IS PURE ILLUSION.

MAYA

IT'S LIKE A PAINTED NEST

OF RUSSIAN PEASANT DOLLS

WITH ONE NESTING INSIDE ANOTHER

GOING FROM BIG TO SMALL TO SMALLER

UNTIL YOU FINALLY REACH

THE SMALLEST DOLL WHICH COULD BE.

BIG, SMALL, SMALLER, SMALLEST

AND YOU DON'T KNOW IF THE SMALLEST

IS YOU OR ME...

SHAWN

Theramyn........

SARA OTHERS

THIS IS A CROWD WITHIN A CROWD

BUYING TICKETS TO THIS SHOW ABOUT A PLAY

A PLAY THAT'S MUSICAL

BUT DOES NOT HAVE A SCORE THIS PLAY IT HAS NO SCORE!

AND THEY'VE HEARD

ALL THE SONGS BEFORE WE'VE HEARD 'EM BEFORE

THE PIANO JANGLES WITH CONFUSION!

1-3-19

BART

THE TICKETS ARE COUNTERFIET!

MAYA

THE THEATER'S PURE ILLUSION!

ALL

AND THAT'S NOT ALL...

THIS IS A WORLD WITHIN A WORLD

ONE THAT'S REAL AND ONE THAT'S NOT

ABOUT A POET WHO IS PLAYING IN A PLAY

ABOUT A POEM HE'S PENNED AND LOST...

THAT'S SWELL BUT ONE HELL OF A CONFUSION!

THE ADMISSION PRICE IS REAL

BUT YOU, YOU'RE PURE ILLUSION!

OOM PAH PAH! AND YADA YADA YA!

THE ADMISSION PRICE IS REAL

BUT YOU, BUT YOU, BUT YOU

YOU’RE PURE ILLUSION......

WALT

I'd like to take the ferry to Brooklyn. I'd like to visit Paumonok.

BART

There is no Ferry to Brooklyn, Mr. Whitman.

SARA

Paumonok is Long Island. You'll have to take the train.

BART

The LIRR to Paumonok.

(WALT is confused.)

Long Island Rail Road. The subway to Brooklyn. No ferry.

(MUSIC CUE: THERE AIN'T NO FERRY TO BROOKLYN)

SHAWN

THERE AIN'T NO FERRY TO BROOKLYN

AND THERE AIN'T NO TROLLEY CARS

AND ALL THE HORSES ARE OFF THE STREETS

THERE ARE A MILLION PLACES TO EAT

BUT THERE AIN'T NO FREE LUNCH IN THE BARS...

1-3-20

SHAWN (cont.)

THERE AIN'T NO FERRY TO BROOKLYN

AND THERE AIN'T NO TWO CENTS PLAIN

AND THE WOILD IS ALL WRAPPED UP IN PLASTIC

AND ROSEY DON'T TAP NO LIGHT FANTASTIC

ON THE SIDE WALKS OF NEW YORK

WHITMAN

(RECITING. MUSIC under)

Crossing, crossing,

Crossing Brooklyn Ferry! ...

You that shall cross

From shore to shore

Years hence

Are more to me

Than you might suppose...

The similitudes of the past

And those of the future...

The others that are to follow me

The ties between me and them...

The life, love, sight, hearing of others

Fifty years hence, a hundred years hence

Or ever so many hundreds of years hence

Others will enjoy the sunset

Crossing Brooklyn Ferry

Cross from shore to shore

Countless crowds of passengers

Sound out voices, loudly and musically

And call me by my name

Live, old life! Play the part

That looks back on the actor or the actress.

Play the old role,

The role that is great or small

According as one makes it....

Crossing Brooklyn Ferry....

ACTORS

THERE AIN'T NO FERRY TO BROOKLYN

THERE AIN'T NO TALL SHIPS ON THE SEA

AND THE COBBLE STONES ARE WORN AWAY

AND IN HIGH WINDS SKY SCRAPERS SWAY

NO ONE YELLS PLAY BALL IN EBBET'S FIELD

AND THERE AIN'T NO CITY THERE THAT GLEAMS

NO, THERE AIN'T NO FERRY TO BROOKLYN, WALT

THERE AIN'T NO BOAT LOAD OF DREAMS!