A newspaper reporter from the Bowie Blade has been following me around for the last week. Her kid is in my play and she signed on to do publicity and decided that I would be a good "angle" for her story.

I don't mind telling you this has made me extremely uncomfortable. I can't imagine that anyone would invite this type of scrutiny. Her photographer is IN the play and it's been sort of comical watching her come out of the middle of a scene to "catch" the action and then pop back in and start singing. Trouble is, she sometimes thinks I'm the action.

I've been really soul searching to figure out why this has made me so uncomfortable. I don't feel as if I have anything to hide and I do feel like I'm at a point in my life where it really doesn't matter so much what other's think of me. I'm pretty secure with the knowledge of who my friends are and know that no matter what, they will love me as I love them. I don't really make any apologies for who I am, I know I'm not perfect but for the most part my intentions are good. So what is it? Other people welcome this attention, it made me want to hide in a hole.

This morning I woke up from a dream with the image of a hand throwing seeds in the wind.

And I understood.

In the Osho Zen Tarot deck (since she spilled the beans in the article about my tarot reading, I may as well tell you :)) There is a card called "Flowering". I've posted a picture of it before, it's on my web site. When you do a reading, sometimes it is helpful to pick a card to be your Significator, a card that represents you. That is my card, The Queen of Rainbows, my Significator. It's a beautiful card, a woman with flowers all around, colorful and happy.

"The sleeves of her garment contain an abundance of seeds, and as the wind blows the seeds will be scattered to take root where they may. She is not concerned whether they land on the soil or on the rocks--she is just spreading them everywhere in sheer celebration of life and love"

I want you to look at the seeds. Not me.

I am only significant as a vessel, just "letting my life reach out to others. My blissfulness, my benediction, my ecstasy is not contained within me like a seed. It is open like a flower and spreading it's fragrance to all, sharing my dance of enlightenment"

Come see the play. Not because I "wrote" it, but because it's a damn good story. It's a really great "seed".

Hmmm. Mustard, I believe......

Only have 9 minutes and then I have to go get ready for work. 

Had a very busy, exhausting, stimulating, aggravating, productive weekend.

Drove 5-6 hours on Friday, saw the ocean and made it home in time to meet friends for dinner, to very loud hard rock mini concert, then a crazy rehearsal, a productive rehearsal, a strange rehearsal.  Blocked and re-blocked entire show, choreographed and taught rest of songs.  Watched "Howards End" with people who just didn't 'get it'.....LOL!

Broke up a husband/wife fight and then became engaged in one.  wt?

Smiled, cried, drummed, yelled, whispered & laughed......alot......

I could use a weekend now.  Deep breath....

Had one of my best friends ask me to do a Reiki on her the other day.  I was very excited because I hadn't really had a chance to do Reiki on other people since the Lenten night a few weeks ago.  That morning before she called, I went to do my self Reiki and felt very ambivalent and decided to skip it for the day and then she called.  When you do Reiki on someone, your own Reiki energy increases so the opportunity is a blessing for both.

So we made an appointment for later in the day and of course, I got bogged down in a million details and completely lost track of time.  Fortunately she is a kindred spirit so she understood completely and waited patiently for me to set up.  I decided to set up in front of my altar in my bedroom.  Now normally, I would not bring people up there--just the dust alone......but as I said, she's a kindred spirit. And the altar is probably the cleanest thing in my house so as long as she faced that direction LOL!

My friend is a dear sweet soul.  She's a Pisces and very intuitive and open.  All her emotions are right on the surface, much to her dismay, she cries at the drop of a hat and feels things very deeply.  I love her, her exuberance and lack of deception are such a blessing.  She's so fun to be around cause she gets very excited about things and will start sputtering and waving her arms around and she reminds me so much of Pooh Bear and Rabbit combined.  (She just read The Tao of Pooh and of course, understood it completely)  She cracks me up.  I have had conversations on the phone with her that consisted of nothing but loud giggles and snorting for minutes on end. 

Anyway, doing Reiki on her was amazing.  When I called upon the energy it was like a shot from Heaven.  Instantaneous and Fiery Hot.  Her comment, "Did it hurt when you put your hands in the microwave?"  Normally I don't feel the heat from my own hands, I've had all my clients comment on it but I usually just break out in a heat flash when I hit one of their "spots" that needs work.  With her my hands were so hot that when I put them in the position with one on top of the other it became almost too much too bear.  It was unreal.  When I did my initial scanning to see where she needed work, it felt like her solar plexus just reached up and grabbed my hands HERE LINDA, START HERE.  The whole session was like that. 

At one point, I was having some trouble getting a spot to clear so I reached behind me and took a crystal from my altar.  I placed it in my palm and gently put her hand on mine and then my other hand on top of hers.  When I need extra Reiki energy, I just focus on the love I feel for my client and allow the love of God to pour through me to them.  Of course, with someone you know well this is a bit easier but we all have a Universal Love for all mankind that exists so it always works.  But on my friend!  I have never felt that much energy!  When I pulled my hand away, I looked at my palm and hers because I was sure there had to be burn marks and an outline from the crystal.  There wasn't....but wow.

The wildest thing of all:  When I was attuned, my Reiki Master encouraged me to find my own Enlightened Being or Spirit Guide to be able to call upon when I feel like I need guidance.  In meditations, this Guide has come to me and many times I feel His arms around my shoulders and I feel like the energy is pouring from Him down my arms into my hands and to my client.  I feel a strong sense of healing at the same time.  It's one of those woo woo things that I have never told anyone about.  While I was sitting at my friend's feet, with a hand on each one, I felt the presence of my Guide hands on mine and I just kinda settled in, let it pour through and relaxed in the energy.

Out of nowhere my friend says, "wow, I just had the most amazingly clear image of Jesus laying his hands over yours and helping the healing coming through"

3 guesses on who my Spirit Guide is.

From my chair I can see my perpetual calendar. It's a whiteboard that I have marked off 28 blocks with colored tape so I can keep track of what is going on. Each member of the family is a different color marker and we write down our appointments and each Monday I erase the last week and start the next.

I get very excited when you can see a lot of white--that means we are not really all that booked। Believe me, there have been times you could hardly see any white at all and each block had 4 different colors and we were nuts। We have tried really hard to prevent that from happening, we try and make better choices so we spend more time together and to have time alone so we can be better people and not stressed out messes. Get rid of the "who's the busiest" competition and just be happy.

When we are doing a show, there's always that point in the calendar when you can see the yellow stars and know you are down to the wire. Less than a month away.

We are at that point. So I know it's time to step it up. Turn the yikes into action.

Rut roh.....well, at least we finally have decided on the songs.....lol!

My board is gonna be so beautifully white after this. For a whole summer! And I get 2 vacations! Both with my bestest friends. I am so pysched. You just have no idea. I feel so blessed.

Right now my board is not white. I really should be getting to work, I am in way over my head. But I am in a summer frame of mind....sigh....

My greatest wish for mankind today: May you all start to see more white in your board--Amen!

The word "Maundy" comes from the Latin for 'command' (mandatum). It refers to the command given by Jesus at the Last Supper, that his disciples should love one another.