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Monday, September 24, 2007
Flying Bird
I've been kinda out of sorts lately. I thought I had planned my time wisely but somehow ended up teaching 23 classes
in 19 days plus a myriad of other things and found myself stressing and combative. I used all my tools to make the decisions
and then promptly figured I had it all worked out so I didn't use any tools. My tools? Meditation, Self Reiki,
Prayer, ZenCards, gratitude journal, Time alone, etc. I am just so much better when I spend a bit of time every
day at my altar centering. Ugh. When will I get it through my monkey mind? Answer: Again and
again and again.
Yesterday I dusted off my altar, sent Reiki to my people, prayed for guidance and then decided to do a reading on
myself. Flying bird. You start with a card in the middle and place the "wings" on either side, one at a time,
each card with a different meaning. As I lay each card down, I just shook my head and smiled. Duh. That's
what I like about this deck. It doesn't do some voodoo look into the future nonsense, it simply tells you where you
are and what you don't want to see. Once you can see the present, you instinctively know where to go. Sort of
puts you back on your path. I mean face it, we all know the truth....we just don't want it to be the truth, so we rationalize
and let our monkey mind tell us it's false. That's just called begin human. Here's a brief (haha, yeah right)
synopsis of my reading:
1. Where I'm at: Possibilities
This is a beautiful card of an eagle soaring over a varied landscape with deserts and flowers and mountains. It
represents being in a position of having unlimited choices and soaring over considering the next choice. "because of
all the work you've done, you are at a point where a world of possibilities is open to you".... It's all about not limiting
yourself.
2. Fear of flying (what's holding me back): The Burden
This is a wretched card of a man trying to climb a mountain with a bunch of tyrants and roosters and a lists of shoulds
and oughts on his back. Oh dear. It's all about carrying other's burdens and expectations, not just people you know
but society's demands as well. "If life seems like a struggle, it's time to shrug your shoulders and drop these characters
off--you have your own mountains to conquer & dreams to fulfill, but you'll never have the energy if you keep carrying
these expectations of other's that you think are your own."
3. The response to the fear: Rebirth
Great card. It's a dull, sleepy camel who has a lion standing on him and a child playing the lute
coming out of the lion's belly. It's about how we get lulled into submission trying to get along with others by pleasing
and saying yes to everything and then one day we wake up and "roar" our truth, with a loud "NO" to all the shoulds and oughts
and the worrying over other's opinions. "but this is not the end, Finally the child emerges, neither acquiescent nor
rebellious but innocent and spontaneous and true to his own being"
4. Inner Support: MIND
I hate this card. It is exactly what it says, it's your monkey mind. It's an ugly, grey Medusa worms crawling
all over head representing all the twists and turns your mind takes when it finally gets your attention. Bleech.
Like tell me something I don't know. "the head is filled with mechanisms, the mouth is ranting and raving, and the whole
surrounding atmosphere is being polluted by this factory of arguments and opinions....somebody, somewhere, is stuck in a head
trip. Take a look and make sure it isn't you". Sigh. It's me.
5. External support (what to do) SILENCE
Duh. Like who didn't see that coming? LOL! "Now is the time to come home to yourself, to seek out those
who can resonate with your silence or to just enjoy your aloneness. " The card is a deep night sky with a face
with closed eyes barely visible. In the middle of her forehead (3rd eye chakra) is the moon and stars are all around
the top, a cloud on the bottom. The card makes you breathe a little slower...........be still ....and know .....that
I am..... God Psalm 46
6. Relaxation and Acceptance: Fighting
This is a guy dressed in armor with his fists clenched and buttons all over the armor "just waiting to be detonated if
someone so much as brushes up against them". Oh dear. And yeah. That's the acceptance--gotta stop the fighting.
"we think that if we frighten people away, we can avoid being hurt even more.....there is so much love available to you if
you just stop fighting and let it in...." Double sigh.
7. New level of awareness: HARMONY!!!
I love this card! It's a beautiful, serene person with 2 dolphins coming from her heart to jump over 3rd eye, representing
playfulness and intelligence that comes when we are able to connect with the heart and move from there. (instead of
that crazy ole monkey mind) "Let yourself be softer and more receptive now, because an inexpressible joy is waiting
for you just around the corner." YAY!
So there you go. What a great reading. Makes so much sense to me and makes me remember that I do know the
truth, just have to remember it.
Friday, September 21, 2007
Master Jeff
Last night a woman who I admire very much came to my yoga class. I have done Reiki on her with Jan and she is just
one of the most amazing people you would ever meet. I have been intrigued by her for a while, she just has such light
about her. So needless to say, when she walked in the door I was pretty excited and grateful for the opportunity to
get to know her a little better. After the class, we were chatting and the subject of Tai Chi came up. Turns out
that she took Tai Chi from my master Jeff! She knew him quite well, we must have passed each other many times since
it was around the same time. Of course, she is so sweet, when I said, "Maybe we were in the same class!" She said
with a very sweet smile, "oh no Linda, I would have remembered you." I love this lady.
In reminiscing about the class, I got to thinking what an impact Master Jeff has had on my life. He was the very
first truly spiritual man I had ever met. I had never heard of the Tao or knew anything about Buddhism or any eastern
philosophy before I met him. He studied in Taiwan under a great Master. He knew so much. He was a great
teacher, just the right amount of detachment and attachment. He knew when to be firm and when to back off. He
introduced a whole new world to me. He would wink at me and say, "I'm going to teach you the physical but I know some
of you would like the magical mystery tour so I'll teach you that too." I loved him, absolutely worshipped the
ground he walked on. His voice rings in my head to this day, his touch, his gentle wisdom. He was that once in
a lifetime teacher that some of us are lucky enough to stumble across that you realize is one of the main reasons you
are who you are today.
Tai Chi is very beautiful and very frustrating. Especially if you are as type A as I was when I found him.
Believe it or not, I used to work about 70 hours a week as a Operations Manager for a Mortgage Broker. High stress,
fast paced, hit the ground running butt kisser. I worked on the high end builder accounts, had about 30 employees to oversee
and train and set up new offices, computers, million dollar deals and schmoozed with the big boys on a regular
basis. I was 27 years old, diagnosed with a bleeding ulcer, and had doctors prescribe tranquilizers and codeine
for the migraines. I was the youngest officer the company had ever had. I made a ton of money. I was also
on the verge of a divorce and a nervous breakdown. Crazy.
The very first class I ever went to, I asked some inane question and Jeff said, "so, can you talk with your shoulders
away from your ears or is that brick a permanent fixture?" I had no clue what he was talking about. He came over
and smoothed my shoulders down and it actually HURT to relax. I spent many, many months just trying to get the shoulders
down, the more I "tried" the worse it got. Month after month I get one area to finally smooth, only for him to identify
another. It was maddening. And it saved my life. I would confront him, "maybe some people just aren't meant
to do Tai Chi, maybe it's just for old people, maybe the world needs tense people, and so on". He would smile.
And he would start doing the postures. And he would say, "well, then why are you here?" Why indeed.....
I stayed with him for 3 years. Twice a week, every week. Quit my job, rearranged my world, owned my life.
Studied, studied, studied, read everything I could get my hands on, became a Taoist, learned to breathe and relax. Towards
the end of my classes, Jeff was having a really hard time with the "Y", he would come in so frustrated and so sad, I just
couldn't take it. I didn't know that I was an empath then, I only knew that I would come out of his classes angry and
upset, not knowing that it was his frustration I was picking up on and not knowing how to clear it. Mary told me that
he finally gave up about a year after I left. I tried to find another teacher, and years later, tried to find him again
to no avail. Went on to yoga and was blessed with another mentor but I have always thought of him in everything I do.
I could not teach yoga if I hadn't learned Tai Chi.
I am so grateful for Jeff's presence in my life. Have you ever had a teacher like that? One that just quietly
changed everything you ever knew to be true and helped you find the answers that were best for you? What a great spirit
he has. I wish him the best that this world has to offer, he brought so much to all he did. Namaste' Master Jeff
and Thank You!
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Whoa
I got new glasses. I couldn't see. So many people smile at me and I don't see them so they think I'm rude
cause I don't smile back. It's especially bad at night. I think half my evening yoga classes are goofy because
I can't see my students. Which makes it hard to hear them. I dunno.
My prescription needed to be 3 times stronger than it was. The doctor said it could have been even more but my
eyes would have had too much trouble adjusting to such a drastic change so he said I should stay with this for awhile then
we can take it up. Can I just tell ya---this sucks. I HATE not being able to see. One of my favorite things
in the world is reading. I read everything I can get my hands on, always have. I haven't been able to read a book
all the way through for years because the eye strain is too bad. And the computer screen ugh.
So I just picked up my new glasses. Wow. Still not like my younger eyes but what an improvement. And
Yikes! Where did those wrinkles come from? And not just on me.....and not just wrinkles. Now I have to try
not to stare. It's just pretty shocking to see what I've been missing.
So now the next hurdle. I tested too high for the glaucoma thing. Which I figured was no big deal.
Til my mom tells me it's running in our family. Errgh. I mean, how many boxes am I gonna have to check on the
family history list? So now I have to go to a specialist. Ready for the irony?
The worst thing you can do if you have glaucoma?
Yep, yoga.
Isn't that a kick in the pants? Yoga is good for everything that ails ya--cept glaucoma. Something to do
with the eye pressure when you turn your head upside down. Ai yi yi...
I'm sure it's nothing though. God would not be that much a practical joker. Would He?
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Wheeee
Is it me or does it seem like everyone has went from 0 to 60 and beyond in the last couple weeks? It's like summer
ended and everyone looked around and realized they had 2 months worth of work to catch up on. And have gone into high
gear. Especially those with kids. Wow.
Maybe it's just me.
I was looking around at my yoga students last night. Man, everyone is so stressed. That's it!
We are all gonna revolt. No more busyness. No more running here and there. No more gottas or havetas.
We will take it easy. Stay on perpetual vacation--
Let's all quit our jobs, pull our kids out of school and their myriad activities and buy a huge parcel of land and farm.
Only we won't be naked and dirty like the stereotypical communers. We will live off the land, look each other in
the eye and smile.
K? Are you with me? Let's go!!!!
I sort of feel like John Belushi in Animal House when he goes running out after his speech and no one follows.....
C'mon guys! It'll be fun. And we'll LIVE instead of EXIST....
Are you with me? Let's go!!!!
Ok, take some time to think it over. Have your people call my people.
And while you're at it....if you see Sheree Renner Ruhl today wish her a 
Happy Birthday Sheree!!!
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Meh
Whenever my daughter doesn't want to make a decision or take a stand or discuss something or answer a question she says
"Meh" and shrugs her shoulders. While it doesn't really intellectually stimulate the senses, I feel it really gets the
point across. So, in regards to my unpublished post yesterday.....Meh.
Whew. Got through the hard part. My life has been very hectic. All wonderful, extend myself
challenges that went well. But as of last night, I was feeling a bit over stretched. But fortunately, I have no
more major events til the end of the month so I can catch up on business. When I began the month I tried to sit with
my calendar and give myself enough space to breathe and enough activity to really start my business with a bang. I think
I did that to some extent but life is always evolving and we are always learning.
The Gentle Yoga has been very nice, the church has mistakenly put that I am teaching it on Thursdays too though and I
had not intended to do so. However, I have a client who wanted private yoga at that time and will not mind sharing so
we may see if it is something people want. I'm happy because it made a space for an old student and it's very relaxing.
Not well attended yet, but the caller notice just came out after it last week so we'll see. This class will stay.
The Restorative Yoga sold out. I was a bit nervous because I only knew one person and it's been a looong time since
I walked into a class cold but it went very well. Many asked me to do it every week and wanted my cards for other classes
so it seemed very well received. Rhia sewed me some new cushions so we have simplified the lugging around process. This
class will stay.
The Meditation Tea was just me and my sistas. The tea was nice, I found a tea set but the meditation was iffy
due to the age of my sistas that day LOL--it's hard to do with 12 year olds. Especially if you use the word 'coccyx".
I was considering canceling it all together but I have had quite a few contact me after, telling me they really wanted
to attend but couldn't due to prior commitments. I was thinking of changing the day/time but have agreed to do one more
and see how it goes.
The Reiki Exchange New Night will take a while to catch on again, I suppose. We had one person and I had the good
fortune to have Jan & Sheree do Reiki on me. They are wonderful--and I really needed it. Had some very bad
news the night before that affected me more than I thought. All 3 of us have agreed to wait this one out and see
if we get our groove back now that the Caller is regular and summer is over.
Reiki in my new "office' has been wonderful. Have had a few clients with some very nice results. Chatting
on the couch afterwards is really fun too. This I will keep. I love doing Reiki. Also got an opportunity
to do some spirit card readings out back--I love doing this too. So that will stay.
The Couples Yoga has a couple couples signed up. Unfortunately, one of my sign ups has broken her ankle so I think
she may have to cancel :) Keep praying for her! We will wait this one out too--may change the venue if attendance
is sparse.
Sun Salutations is very fun. I haven't really promoted this so it's been just us guys--last week the "class" ended
up at The Grill....This one will stay for the most part just because it's a special treat for me, I don't really teach, I
just do. I love doing Sun Salutations in the morning, so this is my guilty pleasure. Especially if we go to the
Grill after. LOL
My regular classes at the gym have been enormous. CCPC is always hit or miss, I think evening classes blow in the
wind. 5678 is consistent. We may change the day/time on that one.
So. There you go. A recap and summary. And we are only a little more than half way through the month.
And next month gets busier with SoulCollage and Evening at CCPC auditions and rehearsals. Rut roh.
Not to worry.....by then it will all come to me and run like a smoothly oiled clock. Right? Faith!
I keep having that line from that old Bob Segar song "Against the Wind" in my head:
"what to leave in, what to leave out"
In context:
"Against the wind
A little something against the wind
I found myself seeking shelter against the wind
Well
those drifter's days are past me now
I've got so much more to think about
Deadlines and commitments
What to leave
in, what to leave out
Against the wind
I'm still runnin' against the wind
I'm older now but still runnin' against
the wind
Well I'm older now and still runnin'
Against the wind
Against the wind
Against the wind"
Meh.
Monday, September 17, 2007
Words and Music
I had a really long post today but in the interest of walking away and sitting on it......
We'll see....
Sometimes it just ain't worth the hoopla, you know?
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Red Nose
Wasn't yesterday beautiful? We did Sun Salutations and then ended up going to celebrate Halfway to St. Patrick's
Day at the Old Bowie Town Grill. It was marvelous. We sat on the deck outside in the sun, listening to Irish/Celtic
music, talking and laughing. The food was awesome, steak and eggs with Killian's. Now I look like Linda the red
nose yoga teacher. And not because of the Killian's. The sun was so warming and the air was so crisp we may have
stayed a bit too long.
Think I'll start a fire today. Mmmmm.
Pray for my friend Ann who has suffered a bad ankle break and is going to be laid up for awhile. She has 3 kids
and is a single Mom who is self employed as a writer...this is gonna be tough. The good news is she's a strong, spectacularly
wise woman with a very supportive family so she'll make it through fine, I'm sure. But every prayer counts!
Now. Get off the computer and go enjoy this day!
Hugs to all!
Friday, September 14, 2007
A Trip Through My Inbox Today
Never fight with greed, ego, anger, jealousy, hatred --you cannot kill them, you cannot crush them, you cannot fight
with them. All that you can do is just be aware of them--and the moment you are aware, they are gone. In the light, the darkness
simply disappears.
*********************
Everything that we experience is an opportunity for growth and transformation. So often our dread at taking a wrong turn
in our lives makes us doubtful of ourselves and the actions we need to take. Just keeping in mind that whatever we do will
take us further along our path - no matter what the outcome will be - is reassuring, for there will always be something positive
to glean from the experiences we have.
*******************
Gratitude is the most passionate
transformative force in the cosmos. When we offer thanks to God or to another human being, gratitude gifts us with renewal,
reflection, reconnection.
****************
At the end of the day, no matter how they behaved, no matter what was
said, and no matter how things turned out, rest assured, dear Linda, that your goodness was known by all.
You rock,
The Universe
****************************
You have heard it said before, and it is true: God never says No.
I will give you all exactly what you desire, always.
Even as I have done from the beginning of time.
**************************
What teacher had the most impact on you?
*********************
Now, breathe into your heart ... release and receive
this timeless message: You are a gift of Gratitude!
Thank you for being YOU!
Many blessings . . .
*****************************
Friend, do it this way:
that is, whatever you do in life,
do the very best you can
with both your heart and mind.
And if you do it that way,
the Power of the Universe
Will come to your assistance,
if your heart and mind are in Unity.
Boy, that's a lot to think about for one morning....
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Grumpy
Oh dear.
I am grumpy. Like really grumpy. Like this:
It started yesterday. I didn't get a lot of sleep this week. That's never good. And then there's that
whole animal thing. And that boy. So I went and taught a spectacular, wonderful class where we laughed and had
lots of fun--all 18 of us! The weather was beautiful, I flung my arms open and breathed in the crisp air.....
And then I came home.
So, being the enlightened soul I am, I knew that I was getting resentful and the last thing I should do is what I used
to do, play the martyr and clean everything. I wisely chose to sit out back and try to take a nap. Those of
you who know me, know how hard it is for me to not only do this but even to think of it. But I am determined.
I drag a bunch of pillows and blankets and cushions out to the deck and lay down. I of course, need to get back up a
dozen times for a multitude of reasons, the most annoying being those who insist that the uterus is a tracking device.
Anyway, I am just drifting off when the most horrendous sound starts jammering in my front yard. Mars Volta.
Cory's cleaning his car.
For those of you not familiar with Mars Volta, let me give you an example of their sound. If someone took an ice pick and
repeatedly jammed it into your skull while simultaneously raking
nails down a chalkboard and screaming like a bunch of kids at Christmastime in WalMart,
you would be close. Only even more annoying.
So. Being a good mom and resisting the impulse to immediately get the
axe and give my son 40 whacks, I get up and find my Ipod and earphones
and put beautiful yoga music on and lay back down trying to relax. Only I could not hear my music. And it was in my ears.
That's how loud this cacophony of geese being clubbed was.
After
a period of time waiting for him to finish or at least have the good sense to turn it down or half hoping the police would
come and cart him off to some prison chain gang to clean up the highways....I finally stomp out there. Turn it down! Think
of other people! Jeez!
So here's the funny part. Now he's not speaking to me because I'm self absorbed.
Words
escape me. Imagine that.
What do you do when you're grumpy? Do you think Lizzie Borden had the right idea?
Don't
even think of telling me to breathe through it.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Animals
I have always been an animal person. We have always had cats and dogs. We used to have rabbits and guinea
pigs and hamsters and birds and fish. All at the same time. At one point we even had a snapping turtle show up
to join the fray. My friend Ruth used to call our house the Circle of Life. She would joke about waiting for the
biological collapse which she felt was inevitable. We also took in foster children for years, in addition to numerous
cousins and wayward friends with no place to go. Chaos. Always.
I always felt it was our responsibility and more importantly, I never wanted to be one of those uptight people who thought
a clean house was more important than people and animals. My self righteousness over my craziness was deeply entrenched.
Having all this craziness also made us poor which helped the self righteousness over those rich people. Ruth used to
say I wore my poverty like a badge. She was right.
One day I looked around at the 3 foster kids, 2 dogs, 2 cats, 2 rabbits, 2 guinea pigs, 1 bird, hundreds of fish and
2 kids of my own asking for more pets and to have their friends over and thought....ARE YOU FRICKIN NUTS?
The answer came loud and clear.
Loudly, over the din, I proclaimed, NOTHING ELSE COMES INTO THIS HOUSE UNTIL ALL THESE ANIMALS ARE DEAD!!!!
Okay, so the therapy bills for the kids were kinda overwhelming too but we all have our breaking points.
So, this morning when I came downstairs and immediately stepped into a lovely pile of dog pee on my brand new carpet
and went out to get the cleaner in the garage, which reeks of cat urine because we cannot locate the source , I
had another of those moments. That's it! No more animals EVER!!! And the kids have to go too!!!!
Oh dear. I've become one of them. I want a clean house. I want order and quiet. I want
everything in its place and preferably without animal fur on it. No more slobber, no more fleas, no more barking and
absolutely no more waste products on my floors. I haven't been able to lay on my floor since I was a child. If
I step in dog doo one more time, I swear I will ensure the therapy for the kids for the rest of their lives when they see
what I do to that dog.
Enough. I had a deer tick on me last night that I had to pull off at 2am. Enough.
So there it is. I am officially a non animal person. I want them out.
And those kids too. Well, maybe just the one who is not a kid anymore.
And maybe that husband too. We'll see.
I will live in my new sterile, pristine environment. And I'll sing and twirl and lay on my floor......tra la la
la la....
Let me know the point spread on the betting of how long it'll last.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Difficult Day
This one's always a toughie. This time of year is very difficult. It's hard to really know whether you are
feeling anxiety and apprehension because there is really something to worry about or if we are conditioned to expect something
bad to happen in the Fall. The media saturates us with images and of course, we have our own memories to contend with.
It took me a long time to understand that our household's premonitions and dreams at this time had way more to do with
all that we all had experienced in the Fall. The sniper, hurricane's, personal tragedies like my Dad's 2 heart attacks
and of course, the World Trade Center. Being an empath and having kids who feel it too makes it difficult to disassociate
with other's suffering. We now understand that but this is perhaps the hardest time to put our shield's up.
And truth be told, I still have those horrible gut wrenching images right on the surface, doesn't take a whole lot to dredge
up the fear and despair and heart breaking, to your knees sadness. And maybe it shouldn't.
I was trying to think of all the positive things that have come out of this day. I know many, many people, myself
included, made decisions that changed their lives dramatically based on the awareness of the shortness of life and how it
can be snuffed out in an instant. More people turned to churches, to God, to each other. The common bond of humanity
was strengthened, how many times have you shared the story of where you were and how you felt that day? I have had many
conversations where people have said, "And because of Sept. 11th, I ____________________ (made life changing decision)"
There is a looking in each other's eyes thing that occurs when this subject comes up--we really
see each other, the pain, the fear, the wistfulness for the days before.
It is fitting that it is a dreary day today. It is the exact opposite of 2001. It is also fitting that there
is a New Moon tonight. We didn't know it at the time, but September 11th was a new beginning. Not all new beginnings
are wanted or even good, but they are part of the cycle of life. "To everything there is a season"
I will be glad when this day is over and the pain in my gut passes. I will be glad when I am once again proven
wrong about my premonitions of bad things happening today. I will be glad when all the people that feel things the way
those of us do can go back to sleeping and dreaming of normal things. Like flying through the air instead of falling
from a building.
Families of 9/11: We have not forgotten you. We still hold you in our hearts. Today and every day.
Monday, September 10, 2007
The Crone
Did you ever watch the Cybill Shepherd show? I think it was called the Cybill Shepherd show or maybe just "Cybill",
can't remember. I used to love it, she had *name escapes me* Big Broadway star? Umm, Marilyn? Whatever,
the two of them were hysterical. Marilyn? was this very bitter, wealthy, hard drinking divorcee who was dedicated
to torturing her ex husband and Cybill was a happy self discovering divorcee who was still friends with her ex husband.
She had a very cynical, hysterically funny daughter as I recall, who was always mocking her efforts at enthusiasm but
Cybill remained happy and kept trying to grow. Hmmm...wonder why I'm attracted to this now? JK?
Anyway, some of the funniest shows were when Cybill was going through menopause. It may have been the first show
that really let you see what women go through during the "change". Digression: I love that word, "the change".
It's like Duh--are there any parts of our life when we are not going through a change? That's just called everyday
round here.... So when Cybill began to realize that she was well into the change, she decided that she should celebrate
it and commemorate it the way the Native Americans did. She went into the desert with her friend MARYANNE! and they
sat around a fire and chanted and called to the great Crone spirits and she rejoiced about her becoming a Crone.
Now, of course, all the people in her life thought she was nuts. Who would want to be a Crone? Images of
old ugly wart nose witches come to mind. But she understood that Crone was not about what you look like--no
one can hold on to the beauty of youth forever. Crone was something inside, it's the wisdom that you receive
when you stop all the running around, all the worrying about what you look like, when you realize that you are
a Goddess and that the inner beauty is what is important, the wisdom of experience that can be seen in the crow's feet around
your eyes.
To be a woman is a very special thing. We go from being nurtured to being the nurturer and back again. We
get to fully use our bodies, for strength, for joy, for pleasure, for birth, for food, for nurturing, for expression.
We can be soft and hard at the same time. It's an amazing experience. Crone is the ultimate expression of that
experience. To be mothered and then to mother and then become the Great Mother, the one who knows all is a marvelous
thing. I have always been willing to embrace this Crone image. And yes, people think I'm nuts.
Now, I know I'm not really even half way there but I really want to be aware during the journey...I want to enjoy each
part and not dread the next one. I am looking forward to Crone. And truth be told, I have some incredible examples
of aging beautifully in my life. I just won't call them Crone, they may not like it LOL! Here's my next card,
which celebrates the Crone:
I am One who embraces the transformation of full flowering to autumn. I am one who sees the beauty of women as
they journey to the Goddess wisdom of Crone.
Saturday, September 8, 2007
This Joint is Jumpin'
It has been a busy week.
It has been very fun.
I am pysched. And a little tired.
But wow.
And this SoulCollage thing....even Cory did the meditation and found out what animal lives in what chakra.
Really cool. Here's my first card:
Thursday, September 6, 2007
Ups and Downs
The hardest part of having your own business is all the ups and downs. And learning not to take it personally.
When I first started teaching yoga, if someone came to my class and didn't come back I took it hard, feeling as if they didn't
like ME. It took me a while to figure out that it could have been that they didn't like YOGA. Not everyone does.
It took me an even longer while to figure out that it may be my STYLE of yoga they didn't like or that I just wasn't the right
teacher for them. Some days I am even able to accept that they just didn't like me and that is okay too. Other
days.....
Same as with my regulars. I have an extremely loyal group of students spread over different venues. Most days
my classes are huge, especially at the gym. Occasionally my classes are light, especially at the church. Again,
learning to not take it personally has been a worthwhile life lesson. I had to figure out that sometimes people have
other things to do or they just don't want to leave their houses, especially at night. It took me awhile to figure
out that maybe it has more to do with THEM then me. Triggers that whole world spinning around yourself gene.
Branching out and offering new classes and new times in new places is terrifying. There's always that teenage girl
"what if I threw a party and no one came" issue. I hate that one. One minute it's all excitement and the next
the roller coaster begins it's rapid descent. Like Jeff Goldblum in Jurassic Park, "oh yeah, first it's all oooos and
ahhhhs, and then there's running and screaming...".
The cool thing is that yoga really helps with those ups and downs. In yoga and meditation, you learned to not attach
to results. Rule number one. So the pose is uncomfortable, just breathe.....so you balance for the first time,
just breathe.....so you have monkey mind, just breathe.....so you don't, just breathe.... In other words, the outcome
is never the important part. The breath, the moment, that's what is important. Past, future, they come,
they go. The breath is NOW, the breath is the only constant. So, I have a big class....just let it flow.
So, no one shows up for my event....just let it flow.
Trust in the breath. And the Universe to support you. Thats the Up. And the Down.
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
Ball is Rollin'
As of yesterday, summer is officially over. Taught my new class and it was very nice. In fact, I was very
happy--one of my yogis I haven't seen for almost a year came to the new class. I'm glad to offer new things to help
people keep up their practice. Teaching both classes back to back was great. It was like the one was a warm up
for the other. Chair yoga is really fun, gives you a whole new perspective on the poses. I was missing my testoterone
corner last night so the second class was more subdued but still very nice.
Have been studying Japanese Tea Ceremonies for the Meditation Circle Sunday. Wow. I never knew they were
so complicated! Anyone out there know any simplified versions? Did make a cute flyer though:
I love the little person meditating....
So, anyway, things are moving...new classes, new theater stuff, new trainings, new Reiki appointments, everything feels
fresh and new.
Hmmm, just like my horoscope says:
This influence represents a period in your life when you can make creative changes in both your professional and your
personal life. In your career, sudden opportunities may come about that enable you to move in radically new and different
directions. Often this influence signifies a change in career to another field such as scientific or technical professions,
including electronics, computers and engineering. This influence can also signify an interest in the occult, especially astrology.
But this period has a larger significance. At this time you are able to change your life direction and
do something that more truly expresses your individuality. The problem for most people is that this new field may be quite
different from what you were taught was a "proper" profession. Most people's focus in this regard is too narrow. It is very
important now to let yourself explore any field of endeavor that attracts you, regardless of how well it fits your preconceptions
of a career. Please note that your new direction may not be a career in the usual sense but a field to which you devote your
life, although it is unrelated to making a living. One's avocation may well be one's true calling.
The only restriction is that your new direction should be ethical and legal, simply because this influence
can create serious problems with the law if you are not careful about legality.
This is also a time in your life when you will be innovative in whatever you do. Your thinking is fresh
and original, and you do not try to solve new problems with old solutions, either in your profession or in your personal life.
Thus you will be attracted to new techniques and new ideas, especially for your own personal development.
That about sums it up, huh?
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
Back yard church
For years I have been threatening to hold church in my back yard. I've always felt that our backyard was a sanctuary--sometimes
for the birds but also for us and our friends. So yesterday we finally did it.
Rhia has been writing colleges and researching seminaries in hopes of maybe becoming a reverend someday. We decided
she should get a little taste of what that would be like. So we put up the screen tent on the top of the hill, built
a very simple altar putting elements of earth, wind, water & fire and the 3 of us (guess who sat it out?) each took parts
of the service to head up. Rhia was in charge of sermon, I was in charge of readings and Barry was in charge of music.
Cory was in charge of cynicism....LOL
It was so fun. We sang our fool head's off--in fact, our neighbor came outside looking to see what the caterwauling
was about. We lit candles, we took communion (real wine!), we made an offering and wrote it down and put it on the altar
to remind ourselves what we promised and then we burned what we needed to let go. Rhia's sermon was great--the readings
were wonderful. She picked the topic of Faith so of course we had to sing Sting. It felt like what the early church
must have been like when the disciples were thinking it up. Wherever 2 or 3 are gathered--He is there. We closed
with one of my favorite poems--just in case you missed church yourself, I have copied it for you:
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Do you need Me?
I am there.
You cannot see Me, yet I am the light you see by.
You
cannot hear Me, yet I speak through your voice.
You cannot feel Me, yet I am the power at work in your hands.
I
am at work, though you do not understand My ways.
I am at work, though you do not understand My works.
I am not strange
visions. I am not mysteries.
Only in absolute stillness, beyond self, can you know Me
as I am, and then but as a
feeling and a faith.
Yet I am there. Yet I hear. Yet I answer.
When you need Me, I am there.
Even if you deny
Me, I am there.
Even when you feel most alone, I am there.
Even in your fears, I am there.
Even in your pain, I am
there.
I am there when you pray and when you do not pray.
I am in you, and you are in Me.
Only in your mind can
you feel separate from Me, for
only in your mind are the mists of "yours" and "mine."
Yet only with your mind can you
know Me and experience Me.
Empty your heart of empty fears.
When you get yourself out of the way, I am there.
You
can of yourself do nothing, but I can do all.
And I am in all.
Though you may not see the good, good is there, for
I
am there. I am there because I have to be, because I am.
Only in Me does the world have meaning;
only out of Me
does the world take form;
only because of Me does the world go forward.
I am the law on which the movement of the stars
and
the growth of living cells are founded.
I am the love that is the law's fulfilling.
I am assurance.
I am peace.
I
am oneness.
I am the law that you can live by.
I am the love that you can cling to.
I am your assurance.
I am
your peace.
I am ONE with you.
I am.
Though you fail to find Me, I do not fail you.
Though your faith in Me
is unsure,
My faith in you never wavers,
because I know you, because I love you.
Beloved, I AM there. |
| i am there - james dillet freeman - 1947 |
Monday, September 3, 2007
Synchronicity
Ever just have those rare moments of synchronicity--where you think something randomly and it appears? Some call
it coincidence....but the first thing you learn in the Celestine Prophecy is that there are no coincidences. And if
you stay aware you will start to see the synchronicity of events, people, one thing leading to another.
Early last week I was finalizing my schedule for the Fall. I have really been spending alot of energy deciding the
next direction and what to let go of and what to embrace and it was time to put it all together. Needless to say, I
was a bit rattled when I finally pushed "send" and publicized it. I had made some radical moves and some changes that
activated the parts of me that are terrified and insecure. I have a really hard time charging for my services and have
had many people telling me over and over that I devalue myself and that people won't value me if I don't value myself
but I have that need to please and fear of people not liking me thing so it's scary to really put a price tag on it all.
But in the interest of really creating and moving toward the future spiritual center, I made some changes.
Course, then I ended up laying on the floor when Barry got home stewing about it all. Then I sent an email un-doing
some of my doing but that's okay. Upon looking it all over and over, I feel really good about it all. So, with
that confidence in mind, I decided that as long as I was going for it, I may as well go all the way. And offer all my
services. "Spirit Cards" being one of them. I've read cards since my teens. It's part of me.
And shouldn't I embrace all parts of me? No matter what my imagined fears of judgement from others are?
So I put a small blurb on my web page. And it's like the floodgates opened.
Wednesday a friend asks for a reading--she hadn't seen the blurb. Friday I blog about it. Saturday a kindred
spirit out of the blue asks for a reading for her and her friend. She hadn't seen the blog. She left me a gift
after the reading that blew me away. During the reading I was explaining how the cards had changed my life during a
particularly difficult time where I need to transform myself and how they spoke to my soul. I come inside after they
left and my book for my SoulCollage training had arrived. Now, I have been kinda ambivalent about this training as I
really just couldn't see the need for another deck of cards but since my sista' was so excited about it I decided to go to
support her.
I randomly open the book to a page that says almost word for word something I had just said during the reading, which went
along with a card the friend had pulled that she had randomly said to the other the day before. Wild.
Synchronicity.
I am thrilled about this new 'tool'. Can't wait to bring it to everyone. It's absolutely perfect for me, just
as the kindred spirit's mother, who brought it to me, had said when she discovered it.
Hmmm. There are no coincidences. Full circle. Can't wait to see the outcomes of following this path.
And trusting the Universe to provide the right way......even if I end up laying of the floor stewing LOL!
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