|
I was at Frieda's funeral yesterday. What I heard about
the whole of her life didn't surprise me, as stories at funerals sometimes do, even though I've known Frieda only about a
dozen years. We all seem to have the same sense of the lady: She knew wonderfully how to live and love and fight and have
fun and have friends. She had friends from all circles, and she kept friends for decades, sometimes most of her life, and
they kept her. That's one measure of the quality of the lady. She collected people and causes and poured endless optimism
into them, with no shortage of ideas and opinions. She brought me more ideas for legal work than I could do in ten careers,
and this became a standing joke between us. "John, I have an idea for a case for you." "Oh, Frieda, you know I'm languishing
for work to do, I was waiting for you to call."
And there was her famous smile that could light up
a whole room. Even I could see her smile, and that also became a joke between us. "Ah, that smile, even I can see that smile."
And it would get even bigger. I've got some good pictures of that smile, and I will be happy to share copies with anybody
who wants one - let me know.
She brought so many people and campaigns together,
and helped so many things get into motion, that she'll remain visible by the effects she had on the external world around
us, as well as remain glowing in our hearts.
John Gresham,
jgresham@nylpi.org
∞
Frieda Zames was a beautiful person. I was lucky to know Frieda growing up, from about the age of five (I am
now thirty-three). Frieda was like an aunt to me. She and Michael were a great team and they complemented each other. Frieda
had the kindest heart, a very keen intelligence and sensitivity, and she was proactive in the front lines of the disability
rights and other movements. She was also a tremendous scholar, academic, author and very hardworking person devoted to humanist
causes. I will remember Frieda for her intelligence, sensitivity, thoughtfulness, kindness and the most beautiful naturally
wide and friendly genuine smile a person could have. I feel lucky that Frieda was someone I knew, like a family member.
I am a better person because I knew Frieda. Amy Emerman, Anne Emerman’s Daughter
∞
I always liked to say that there was over 50 years of history between Frieda
and me. By this, I didn't mean that I knew Frieda for 50 years. In fact, I have known her about 28 years.
However, Frieda and my late wife, Sandra Schnur were good friends since they had been teenagers. My wife used to
tell me about her early experiences with Frieda, who, like herself, was a polio survivor. As such, I always felt a profound
bond with Frieda, which is difficult to explain in a few sentences.
Particularly after Sandra’s
passing, whenever I was with Frieda, I felt there was a third person in the room coloring
my interaction with her. There were times I disagreed with Frieda, and I felt
comfortable enough to express them to her in strong terms. I never got the feeling that she responded to these
remarks without anything but equanimity and good will.
Frieda
was part of the first generation of leadership of the disability rights movement. (She
might argue that there was an earlier generation of government employees, but that was short lived). They consisted largely of polio survivors whose formulative
years were spent hidden away in institutions and their own homes, and were accorded few rights. If they were truly fortunate, like Frieda, they had supportive parents and family members who would encourage
them to pursue their dreams. Often they were home schooled or attended segregated
(“special education”) classes. Those who were determined to obtain
a college education faced inaccessible campuses. Having a normal social life
was limited by the sole transportation option: ambulettes (or, as I call them,
“inVALID vehicles,:), which, if not for medical appointments or school, were very expensive. (As late as the early eighties, nearly every wheelchair user I saw on the street was recognized
as a disability rights activist).
It was
Frieda and her generation which gave us Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973, and the Individuals with Disabilities
Education Act, the first civil rights acts for people with disabilities. With
Frieda's passing, we're at the end of an extraordinary era of leadership for our community. Sandra and Eileen Healy
have passed on before her. I can imagine the three of them getting together to watch over us and tell us what to do!
Marvin
Wasserman
∞
This scene keeps replaying itself
in my mind. I'm at a DIA demonstration. Maybe we're fighting for the bus lifts, maybe against the telethon, maybe for access
to the post offices... The scene was repeated many times, at many demonstrations. I'm watching as the police talk
to Frieda. "Who's in charge?" the police had asked when they arrived, and we had all pointed to Frieda. "She is in charge,
she's our president."
Little Frieda on her little amigo scooter surrounded by big tall cops. "You," the cops are saying
to her, "you have to get these people away from here. You cannot block this sidewalk," or this door, or this hall...
Frieda is shaking her head, firm but polite. One of the big cops says: "If you don't tell these people to move, I'm going
to have to start arresting everyone." Frieda shrugs her shoulders: "You do what you have to do," she says to the big cop.
"I do what I have to do."
Frieda always did what she had to do. Organizing demonstrations, conducting meetings,
filing complaints and lawsuits, testifying at hearings, lobbying to get bills passed, fighting for access, fighting for equal
rights for all of us with disabilities, and for peace and justice in the world, was no big deal for Frieda. It was just
"what she had to do." If, at demonstrations or press conferences, we got a little media attention, Frieda never
tried to get in front of a camera, never grabbed a microphone. She spoke to the press if she had to, but more often than not,
she would say to one of us, "you speak, you speak better than me."
Frieda didn't like to take credit for the incredible
work she did. She never expected any recognition. In fact, she was surprised and embarrassed when she got recognition.
If you praised Frieda for her accomplishments, she always said she didn't deserve the praise. She downplayed everything
she did, always giving the credit to someone else.
"Oh, the lawyers won the lawsuit, John Gresham did it!"
"Oh, it was
Ann Emerman that made that happen, I didn't do anything!"
"Oh, it was my sister that wrote the book, I couldn't have done
it, I'm not a writer."
And to me she would say: "Nadina, you're the real activist, you're always getting arrested." "But
I learned it all from you!" I would say. And she would smile that smile of hers.
Frieda's ego never got in the way
of her mission, as it does for many of us. Nothing ever got in the way of Frieda's mission, including her failing health.
She kept going from hearing to meeting to press conference to rally right up to the end. Because she "had to."
Our
community has lost a tireless advocate, a powerful activist, a great leader, and a loving friend. We are devastated. But we
"have to do what we have to do."
We have to go on fighting. And we all "have to" work a lot harder now, to try in
some way to make up for the incredible amount of work that Frieda was doing.
Nadina La Spina
∞
Frieda was one of the
first people (along with Anne Emerman) that I met in what I used to term the "adult disability" movement. I met her
when my daughters were 3 years old, and she was one of my mentors. As I began to understand all the work of these wonderful
activists, Frieda and Mike especially, I realized that my children were already beginning to benefit from their selfless work
for the rights of all people with disabilities. Over the years we became fast friends, and I was deeply honored to be
a part of Frieda & Doris's book. Frieda was always so charming, so comforting, so reliable, such a good solid
friend. She and Mike were the perfect couple, and it was inspiring to see how united they were. I will truly
miss you, and I mean that with all my heart. I know Mike will keep your spirit alive and you will always be at
his, and our side. Mary
Somoza
∞
|
|
|
A generous
gift has been given to Mercy Corps
In memory of
Frieda Zames
By
Jendi Reiter
Jendi Reiter's message for you:
Dear Anne, Please tell Michael and all of Frieda's
friends & family that our prayers are with them. Love, Jendi
This gift will be used to help families in desperate circumstances live healthier, more productive lives.
Visit
Mercy Corps...
|
Jendi Reiter, Amy Emerman's childhood friend; knew Frieda during their summer visits to Tanglewood.
∞
Frieda was an advocate and
an activist for more years than I have been alive.
If it weren't for her actions
I wouldn't enjoy many of the rights that I have today. Rights and abilities such as boarding a bus or entering a store
which we take for granted can be attributed to Frieda's activism. While I only knew her for a few years, she was the
type of person who I saw everywhere. Whether it was lobbying for accessible Taxis or accessible ferries, Frieda
Zames was always there. The disability community lost more than just an advocate and a friend, we lost a family member.
Every time I get on a bus
lift or into an accessible For-Hire Vehicle, I will be reminded of the fact that without her advocacy I most
likely wouldn't have that right. She may not have lived to see a 100% accessible society, but when we finally achieve
that goal she should certainly be given credit for contributing to it.
Frieda may no longer be with us
in body, but her spirit is certainly with us in all we do, as without her advocacy we wouldn't be able to do it.
Michael A. Harris
∞
I remember Frieda as a kind, gentle, encouraging woman
with an extremely powerful spirit behind her modest demeanor. She actually defined the disability rights movement on many
levels, through active involvement in numerous political organizations and causes, using them as forums to push for our rights.
Within her petite frame, she was a human dynamo, always alert to the forces that threaten to limit our gains and consistently
ready to marshal resources to counteract these barriers. She did it all with the power of humble all-inclusive love and
respect for those around her and ultimately all humanity. As a scholar/researcher, she was able to convey her insights and
compassion in a unique way through her landmark book, proving that activism and scholarship are seamless endeavors, educating
all humanity in the process.
Frieda is a role model in her strong, gentle and persuasive
way. She will forever be missed.
Dan Winchester
∞
As a freelance sign language interpreter
for 18 years I have had countless occasions to be at disability rights and political activities, what was
common was Frieda's face in each and every crowd. I always felt like an outsider truly coming in as a member of
the Deaf community and being an insider there. Frieda served as a constant welcoming face. I was keenly aware of the many
differences between the Deaf and larger disabled comminutes and I know how much Frieda wanted to merge them through her
love for freedom for all.
When I left Manhattan for 5 years to teach
in an interpreter training program and also continue freelance interpreting I lost touch with the activist NYC world but as
soon as I was married and returned to Manhattan I was not shocked to see Frieda's familiar face once again. It
was a nice thing to find that my husband was her long-time friend and find what a small world this is indeed. I recall
on the birth of our daughter, she was one of the first people to send the most adorable tiny knitted sweater and booties which
we still have today. She was kind on both large and small scales.
Lately much of my work is in the NY Supreme
Court system but when I have been invited back into the rights movement, I was always again welcome by Frieda's warm
presence. As interpreter whose job it is to be as invisible as possible, she always made sure to stop and say nice things
to me and appreciate my work. I do not think I often enough told her how much I appreciated her work. So I send
this message of true gratitude for all she has done and all that is still pending under her genesis. I know
she is still a part of this world in so many ways and will remain in our hearts forevermore.
Dearest Frieda,
I will miss your face in the crowds and
yet I will feel your spirit every after .
In peace and loving thoughts,
Sandy
Chametznik
∞
I have so many fond memories of Frieda, she and Michael set up
the DIA phone on my dining room table in 1978. They arrived at my home with a red rotary telephone and a red
tomato. The tomato was for our lunch that we ate while Frieda read her book of resources to me and I copied
them into my first disability rights notebook.
I spoke to Frieda in mid-May I called her
about some information I needed for a DIA consumer as usual she gave me some really good ideas. We talked about other
things for awhile and we laughed a lot. I can not put into words how much I miss Frieda.
Olga Hill
∞
I wanted to write something about Frieda but then I thought that the best way to remember her was to carry on her work.
Even her death can't dim her spirit!
"----- Original Message -----
From: <reply@customerservice.nyc.gov>
To: <niseymcq@optonline.net>
Sent: Saturday, June 18, 2005 10:35 AM
Subject: City of New York
Auto Acknowledgment Correspondence #
1-1-174936310
Dear DENISE MC QUADE:
Thank you for contacting the City
of New York. Your message has been
forwarded to the appropriate Agency for review and handling.
For future reference,
your Service Request Number is 1-1-174936310.
Sincerely,
The City of New York
This
is an auto-generated system message. Please do not reply to this
message.
Messages received through this address are not processed.
Thank you.
The
information you have provided is as follows:
Form: Customer Comment Form
Topic: QOL
Name: DENISE MC QUADE
Street Address: 2775 E. 12TH STREET
City,
State Zip: BROOKLYN, NY 11235
Country: United States
Email: niseymcq@optonline.net
Company:
Work Phone: (718) 332-8596
Message:
Dear Mayor Bloomberg,
You
can't seriously believe that people with disabilities living in our
city with approximately a 70 unemployment rate have
more income to pay
for rent than senior citizens covered by SCRIE.
Do the decent thing and include people with disablilities
under SCRIE
at the same level as seniors -- 24,000.
It would be a fitting tribute to Frieda Zames, a disability
rights
activitist who died this week, for you to honor her memory by including
people with disabilities under SCRIE.
Frieda
was an avid supporter of SCRIE for people with disabilities.
Sincerely,
Denise
Ann Mc Quade "
∞
Freida
Was also a DIA Singer
The
Disabled in action singers have been an integral part of the disability movement since the early 1980's. Of course I
joined in 1986 and that's when I met Freida , Michael, Sam, Sid, Anne, Amy, Marilyn, Karen, AJ, Sue and the gang. Others
joined after and some left.
Freida
was not the top musician but she could carry a tune and was always right on target with analyzing the words to songs
and what they meant for our message, or introducing songs and concepts about disability to crowds of people. We sang
all over the East Coast with a few times on the main stage of the Clearwater Festival.
Freida
could mediate the usual band fights and disagreements better then any of the (us) ego invested musicians.
Then
I would find out that when it came to the organizing side of things Freida was totally awesome. Mike, Frieda
and I became great friends and I never went down to the Lower East Side without dropping in and maybe having dinner with them.
We went to the People's Music Network together, we went to demonstrations for peace and disabiity together. Any time I had
a tough disability related referral I could not handle I gave them Frieda's number. When it came to politics and disability
she was the top of the line, likewise just humanity and caring. She gave good advice. Rational, disciplined and very
very cheerful was Freida. She could also (as when we faced the cops) be tough as a rock!
That
is why when I was participating in this years Woody Guthrie Birthday Bash I was not surprised when Steve Suffet who runs the Bash sent an email that this year we were
dedicating the evening to Freida Zames. Frieda and Michael had come to see this show for all the years we ran it! ( It is on Sunday, July 10, 2005 . 7 to 9 PM CB's 313 Gallery, 313 Bowery
at the foot of Bleecker Street New York City)
Well
I thought, Frieda really is very much in the Woody Guthrie tradition! And we immediately made arrangements for Michael to
sing with us this year!
When
I visited Michael we wrote a verse to Union Maid (Woody Guthrie’s song) about Frieda which we will sing on the
10th.
When
Talking Radical Names
Remember
Frieda Zames
Who
showed us all
Whoever
you are
That
everyone can play the game
Disability
An
attribute can be
With
ramps and lifts
You'll
get the gifts
Of
our abilities
Eric Levine, Musical Director of DIA singers
∞
Several months ago Frieda Zames addressed a membership meeting of Disabled In Action
to report on progress with a bill pending in New York City Council and urged people to contact a particular Committee Chairperson.
"But
he never returns our calls!" someone complained.
"You have to be persistent," Frieda responded. "He returns my calls!"
"Yeah.
but. you're Frieda!" someone pointed out. Laughter rolled throughout the room. We all knew what he was talking about.
Frieda Zames was our Nelson Mandela. She was the core of our movement. Though she never spent twenty-seven years in prison,
her toughness and resolve was such that few would doubt she'd risk a long prison term for the sake of bringing us closer to
freedom. It should be no surprise death could only take her in her sleep.
Along with that toughness we who knew Frieda found one of the nicest people and
dearest friends on the planet. Twelve years ago she and I found ourselves in a very heated conflict over the actions
of a colleague. She was livid at me, accusing me of working against the Cause. I thought she would never forgive me
and our friendship was over. But in no time she got past it. We never discussed the issue again and moved on.
I'll forever be grateful for Frieda's ability to put our friendship and the Big Picture ahead of even major squabbles and
teaching me to do the same.
Somehow I never imagined attending a DIA meeting without Frieda being
there. Now I'm not sure how we'll continue. She was the central doer in so many aspects of the Cause, whether it meant
making phone-calls to blocking doorways and elevators to actively supporting our artists and other trailblazers to singing
in the chorus of the DIA Singers to writing grant proposals which brought us thousands of dollars to helping to literally
write the book on the Movement to interacting with all her math students and
regular folks to encouraging new faces entering the Movement. We can never recover from this loss!!!
Yet we owe it to Frieda to try. We must be true to
her memory, and that means much more than just naming a City Council bill after
her. We must be solidly united in all the unfinished business of our Movement.
We have no room for egos. There will be infighting but once a majority agrees on a course of action all must support
it. At the same time we must encourage new faces with new ideas.
As Frieda sang: "We're gonna rise, rise, rise, rise!
All hands together to be strong!"
Philip Bennett
∞
Frieda
was a long-time member of Peoples Music (which is how I met her) and of the Disabled in Action Singers. She was a wonderful
and knowledgeable person. Although her disability made it increasingly hard for her to attend our gatherings, when
she
did she was always warm, friendly and upbeat, and full of lively and informative conversation and warm hugs. I was happy
to count her as a friend, and I'm really going to miss her. Her death was all the more sad as she had recently successfully
battled
cancer.
I send love and warm hugs to our many mutual friends.
Love to all,
Martha
Older
∞
Frieda had a unique mixture of innocent,
outgoing and friendly determination, a thirst for knowledge, and a way of hiding feeling of being hurt.
I have known Frieda for almost 60
years. I met her when she was 14 in Garden City, NY at a convalescence home. She was reading nineteen-century novels; and
had innocent questions.
We went to Brooklyn College together in
the 1950’s. Brooklyn College had Boylan Hall with three steps in the front and no railing. We never thought of complaining
then. Instead, she said she would like a big house to put up all of her friends.
In 1958, I moved from NY to San Francisco.
Frieda drove me to Chicago. We slept in the car. My turtle somehow got out during the night. Frieda drove around in this small
town in Ohio, looking for my turtle under the cars. Sunday morning churchgoers watched us with extreme curiosity. Undeterred,
we found the turtle.
In 1989, during a visit in NY, I got a stroke.
I moved into Frieda and Michael Imperiale’s apartment for two years. While I was away for 30 years in the San Francisco
bay area, Frieda had changed. She had become a civil rights leader for the disabled. It is a perfect goal. You never win 100%;
you have to continue to fight. One close friend was Anne Emerman. They talked short hand together, like a code, as if they
were alone. But they were only seeing how everything was coming along in the movement.
We started the one-step-complaint in 1990.
We went down Second Avenue looking at all the one-step stores we couldn’t get in. We were having a ball at the time.
The book by Frieda and Doris is a
story of change, from charity to confrontation. Like Disabled in Action, it has given Frieda a constant confrontation. How
can she go now?
Bobby Levine
∞
POSTED TO THE MEMORY
OF FRIEDA
by Violet and Martin
Leff
The closing lines of
Sunset and Moonrise, Swinburne, 1889:
Glows
the presence from us passing,
shines
and passes not the power.
Souls
arise whose word remembered,
is
as spirit within the sense;
All the
hours are theirs of all the seasons;
death
has but his hour.
∞
I have known Frieda for over 30 years and during this time I’ve never known her to have a mean or jealous bone
in her body. Frieda was always soft spoken and I don’t remember her ever be angry.
When I told Frieda I was running for the presidency of DIA, she told me she wouldn’t vote for me. I told her
that was fine and I understood her reasons. The next time I saw Frieda, she told me she didn’t mean to hurt my feelings.
I once again assured her she didn’t. This was the kind of person Frieda was – so concerned about the other person’s
feelings.
Some activists have their own agenda, but not Frieda. She was for whatever the disabled community needed/fought for.
However, there was the other side of Frieda. When she believed in an issue, she was relentless. She wouldn’t
stop – so persistent!
She was a wonderful example for all of us. Frieda will always lie in my heart.
Carr Massi
∞
I met Frieda probably
about 15 years ago. I am blind, and have always felt uneasy in group settings. However, Frieda had a warmth and
a smile in her voice that made me like her immediately. We talked via phone about all kinds of things. Whenever
I had a disability concern, I called
Frieda. Not only did she give me wonderful advice, but she really cared.
I asked her many questions about polio, and once, when we were together, she even let me feel what her braces were like,
since she understood that I had never had sight. Frieda was one of the most nonjudgmental people I have ever met.
She accepted me for who I was. I truly liked her, and it saddened me greatly when I learned of her passing. A
brilliant, creative woman, she also was one of the kindest people I have ever met.
One
of my favorite anecdotes is the one she told me about being careless about her checking account, and receiving a call from
the bank offering to teach her to balance a check book. And she was gracious, and never told the bank teller she had
a doctorate in math!
My heart goes out to Michael, Anne, Doris, and all those who loved Frieda. She will be sorely
missed. I'm afraid when God took her, he threw away the mold!
Robert Feinstein
∞
I am devastated to hear of Frieda's death. She was one of the people who interviewed me for the WBAI board. She
was a constant source of inspiration to me and it was a privilege to serve on the board along side of her. I purchased
and read her book with admiration. Her work empowered so many people. I feel so sad. Gail Golden
|
