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Msgr. Peter Magee -St. Matthew’s Cathedral - Sunday, January 19th, 2003
Intimacy is one of those words which can make us feel uncomfortable. Perhaps this is because we can too quickly identify
intimacy with its physical or sexual sense; this sexual sense is something which both attracts us and, depending on many circumstances,
may also intimidate us. But putting it as a more general question, one might ask: am I intimidated by intimacy? The answer
to that question will depend on what I mean by intimacy.
I looked up a reputable dictionary to see what it would tell me about intimacy. It said: “closeness in friendship
or fellowship; familiarity, confidentiality; that which pertains to one’s inner being; close adherence; inwardness”
and then it added, “illicit sexual relations”.
Many of these meanings of intimacy appear in today’s readings. Samuel’s triple call by Yahweh is interpreted
by the old prophet Eli as a call to the intimacy of service and obedience: “Go to sleep and if you are called, reply,
Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening.” In the Gospel, at the bidding of the Baptist, two of his own disciples
leave his circle of intimate followers and follow Jesus instead, asking Him a question which barely conceals their desire
for a new intimacy with Jesus: “Rabbi, where are you staying?” The answer of Jesus also reveals a desire both
to satisfy the desire of those disciples and to open the way to a new intimacy with Himself; He does not give them a mailing
address, an e-mail or a telephone number, but says invitingly: “Come, and you will see.” This exchange leads to
the establishing of new relationships, new friendships, among them the strange and wonderful call of Simon Peter. This is
a relationship which begins here at the start of John’s Gospel and ends, at the end of the same Gospel, with the triple
question of Jesus to Peter: ”Simon, Son of John, do you love me more than these others?”
The second reading also speaks of intimacy in the last sense of the dictionary definitions I quoted: illicit sexual
relations. And St. Paul takes the opportunity to remind the faithful of Corinth that belief
in the resurrection of the body cannot be reconciled with a sexually immoral way of life or with immoral sexual acts. The
body is not for immorality, but for the Lord, for he will raise our bodies to immortal life if we live our bodily lives in
accordance with His law. Sexual immorality in all its forms, when it is truly immoral, that is, when it is the result of free
decisions and actions on the part of the individual, is a sin against one’s own body. For the body is a temple of the
Holy Spirit given to us by God. The body therefore belongs to God and we are expected to live in our bodies in ways that are
acceptable to God. In a sense, the body is the first place of the intimate encounter with God; it is not a tool, an object
of pleasure, but a temple, a holy place. If we do not encounter God in our own bodies, it is only with difficulty that we
will encounter Him anywhere else, be it the Eucharist, the Church or our neighbor.
False intimacy is the invasion of someone else’s dignity, spiritual or physical, for selfish pleasure or power.
It is destructive of the boundaries which God Himself has created between us and between Himself and His creatures. False
intimacy fails to respect the dignity of another’s person, physical or spiritual, and can often be accompanied by seductive
talk, insincere compliments and other forms of deceit and trickery. False intimacy creates confusion, anguish and can lead
some people to despair and others to an illusory sense of power over others which ends up in isolation and, in the worst cases,
in a complete loss of the sense of reality. Is there not something of this in the recent pedophile scandal?
The enslaving power of sexual sin cannot be underestimated. The prevailing cultural attitudes towards sexuality as
some kind of sport or activity detached from the spirit of the person only reinforces that power. But as Christians, we believe
in the resurrection of the body and the eternal destiny of the body. The body is not a discardable appendix to our souls.
Christ did not come just to save our souls, but to raise our whole being, in its bodily and spiritual unity, to eternal life.
Holy communion is not just a spiritual, symbolic contact with a Jesus who was just raised in His spirit to heaven, but a real,
albeit sacramental, participation in His Risen and Ascended Body, spirit, soul and divinity. Compassion and understanding
for the weakness of the flesh cannot be confused with some kind of free-for-all tolerance of sexual immorality in any of its
forms. Just as sins of pride and anger need to be confessed and forgiven, so sexual sins, without exception, need to be confessed
and forgiven, and if they need forgiveness it is because they are sins, offensive to God, offensive to the Church and
destructive of the one who commits them. Sometimes we make the mistake of thinking that because a sin is forgivable it is
not a sin! But of course the opposite is true: it is precisely because it is a sin that it needs to be forgiven. If the entire
teaching of the Church demands of those who believe in Christ a coherent way of living their sexuality, within or outside
the state of marriage, this is done not because the Church fails to understand the attraction of false sexual intimacy, but
precisely because She understands all too well that attraction and the gradual forms of moral enslavement that it can
engender. The goal, the ideal, the aim of the Church is not to destroy healthy and wholesome, happy and joyful sexual living,
but to promote them according to the teachings of Christ. True sexual joy is not possible if it is separated from the
truth of Jesus as taught by the Church. Without that truth, sexual joy becomes empty sexual pleasure which, however much the
post-war era has sought to exalt and legitimize it, remains empty and destructive. Christ has created our bodies and given
us the beautiful gift of sexuality to be lived and enjoyed in the light of His truth about human love and human relationships.
He has not created us for frustration or sad and lonely isolation; rather, He has created us for the fullness of life and
love within the communion of truth and freedom which He taught us, which He lived for us and for which He died, that we might
be truly set free.
Intimacy with Christ, familiarity and closeness to Him, like those of the first disciples of today’s Gospel,
needs to be at the basis of our relationships with one another. We discover our own truth, including our sexual truth, only
in the intimate circle of friendship with Jesus. His call to us is faithful at every moment, no matter what or how many sins
we may have committed. He comes to seek out the sinner, the tax-collector, the prostitute, whoever suffers from any form of
enslavement or addiction to any sin, sexual or otherwise. He is glad when the sinner seeks His company - in order to forgive
them and heal them that they might be free of their afflictions and know the peace and joy of the freedom which comes from
His own glorious truth.
True intimacy with Christ is
the guarantee that our intimacy with one another, whether it be the intimacy proper to marriage or not, will be based on the
power of grace and truth and not ruled by deceit, greed or lust. At the beginning of this new year, Jesus invites us to “come
and see” where He lives and to receive from Him the strength we need to live our commitments to one another and to the
Holy Church of God with generosity and resolve. Let us not be afraid to let go of old slaveries of sin; let us not be afraid
to embrace in its entirety the teaching of the Church on sexual morality; let us not be afraid to resist and reject the philosophy
of false intimacy which our modern culture tries to impose upon us; let us rejoice that we are the living temples of the living
God and implore His mercy to deliver us from all ways of thinking, deciding and acting which are unworthy of His glory and,
indeed, of our own dignity as sons and daughters of God. Let us not be intimidated by intimacy with the truth and grace of
the Savior and thus we will not shrink in shame from Him when He asks us to account for what we have done in our bodily lives.
With Samuel, let us be ready to run to the sanctuary when the Lord calls us and to say with sincerity of heart, “Speak,
Lord, your servant is listening.” With Paul let us exhort one another: “Glorify God in your body”.
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