Sunday 27 (B-2006): In the Beginning It Was Not So

Mark 10: 2-12

You will note in today’s Gospel how Jesus refused to be drawn into any argument about the when’s and wherefores of divorce.

Divorce should not be seen primarily in terms of the often painful circumstances which give rise to it (although it should be recognized that not every divorce is motivated by pain, but sometimes by convenience, greed and even lust).

To focus only on the pain is all too tempting because of the quality and quantity of suffering involved.

People can, understandably, be consumed by their pain.

But it can easily lead to losing sight of the full truth.

Jesus did not address pain, greed or anything else. Instead, he did two things.

First, he blamed divorce on the hardness of the human heart.

Second, he shifted the focus back away from Moses to God’s original plan and purpose for marriage.

What does “hardness of heart” mean?

It means a stubborn closedness to the will of God. It’s like cement which has set in the wrong position.

What, then, is the right position?

It is, as Jesus says, what God established “in the beginning”!

And what is that? The two become one; they are no longer two, but one flesh.

Divorce obscures the plan of God for man and for woman. It claims to put asunder what God has joined.

What Jesus is therefore saying is that the married must first of all and always consider anything between them in the light of the will of God.

This includes all that is necessary to nurture, preserve and strengthen their union.

It also has to mean the patient work of dissolving any hardness of heart towards God and one another.

Unfortunately, our Western culture favors hardness of heart. From the time of the Enlightenment, when reason and freedom “dethroned” God as the measure of virtue, our culture has led to a strident individualism.

It exaggerates the notion of self-realization, of my rights, my freedoms, doing what I like with my life. All of these things are, of course, good when taken in the right perspective and balance.

But under the influence of the drug of individualism, men and women can become defensive and aggressive, jealous of their time, money and career.

Self-sacrifice, giving way, forgiving the other: these are all dismissed as signs of weakness today, when in fact they are essential to any love we are to call true.

Catholic marriages in particular need to be lived from the perspective of faith, hope and charity.

 Faith in the power of God’s grace poured into their hearts by all the sacraments, especially that of matrimony itself.

They need to read the light and dark of their relationship not in terms of Hollywood or Wall Street values, but from the perspective of God’s plan for them.

That can’t realistically be done if they do not cultivate an atmosphere of prayer and openness to God in their home.

If Sunday Mass is not the top priority of their week, how can they expect to keep their hearts from hardening?

If regular confession to strengthen them in their fight against selfishness is not practiced, how can they expect to resist the fascination of evil, however plausible it may be?

Likewise, Christian hope is a virtue to be prayed for and practiced.

It is not a naïve optimism, but an unflappable trust that the Lord who conquered death itself will see them through any pain or suffering, doubt or trial.

Above all, it is divine charity which will give renewed freshness and inspiration to their marriage.

Charity is not some wishy-washy walkover.

Charity is that power of love with which Christ conquered death itself.

Charity is the breath of God in the heart and on the lips of the married.

If asked for and practiced, it will confer an invincible strength to any marriage.

In the face of all this, divorce is a very sad reality.

The Church condemns no-one, despite the harsh criticisms often launched at her by those who reject her teachings. Love for the sinner and hatred for the sin remains central to her mission, as it was central to that of her Founder.

Situations can and do arise in which the physical separation of spouses is necessary.

But reconciliation has then to be the plan ahead. And if that is not possible, and if civil questions like the custody of children must be resolved, then divorce can be tolerated as a last resort.

But divorce can never break a marriage bond which has been validly contracted.

What do I mean by “validly contracted”?

I mean that the original consent of the couple was not in any way impaired.

In other words, the “I do” in marriage has to mean, for both parties, at least a minimal understanding and acceptance of the rights and duties of this new state of life.

Otherwise, the “I do” is not sufficient and therefore, despite the ceremony, the marriage bond itself is not established.

There can also be external factors which invalidate the “I do”: for example, marrying out of fear, or out of false pretexts like getting citizenship or intending to divorce so as to make money.

If, at the request of one or both parties, it can be proven that the original “I do” was inadequate or forced, then the Church (and the State, too, according to its own rules) can declare that the marriage bond never existed in the first place.

This is what annulment means. “Null and void” means inexistent to start with.

This is very different from divorce. Divorce claims, not that the bond never existed, but that civil law can actually break it.

This is why God, and therefore the Church, prohibits divorce.

Divorce would put asunder what God has joined, provided, I repeat, that the marriage was valid to begin with.

Why is God so opposed to the divorce that would claim to break the marriage bond?

Because the valid union between man and woman is intended by God to be the sign of his eternal commitment to humanity, through thick and thin.

That commitment was sealed in the blood of Christ, the blood of the new and everlasting covenant, covenant being another word for marriage, the real Marriage.

What do I mean by the “real Marriage”? I mean the “one flesh” of God and humanity. And what is that flesh? It is Jesus Christ himself in whom God and humanity are one flesh.

Divorce would be a sign that sin is greater than Christ’s blood, that somehow Christ would “take back” his suffering and death, his love and life.

Divorce contradicts the covenant and is a counter-sign which says that love cannot be total.

But if love cannot at least promise to be total, then it cannot be at all.

The divorce of the validly married contradicts faith and faithfulness because it hands victory to doubt and infidelity.

That same divorce contradicts hope, because it hands victory to the despair of forgiveness and reconciliation.

It enshrines hardness of heart and exalts the broken heart as the symbol of humanity.

One last word. I am, I hope, not heartless. I know marriage is not a cakewalk; neither is priesthood. I know very well that painful and even violent breakdowns of marriages do exist.

They deserve our best efforts of compassion, care and assistance.

But we cannot be faithful to Christ and to the truth of his sacrifice for us if we consider divorce as something natural or praiseworthy, or bless second “marriages” when the first ones are valid.

When a marriage is valid, and one’s spouse is still alive, a second so-called “marriage”, in the very blunt words of Jesus, is adultery.

It is not only adulterous with regard to one’s spouse, but also with regard to God himself for it is with God that faith has been broken. That is why, in adultery, it makes no sense to receive Holy Communion, the sacrament par excellence of the “one flesh.”

Our efforts must not be spent on applauding what is displeasing to God, but on working as individuals, couples, parish, society and state to develop policies, laws and services which support and strengthen marriage and the family.

I thank God for the shining example of faithfulness of so many of you.

The Lord invites you to be protagonists of a new ethic, of a revival of healthy and holy marriages in the Church and in society.

Please, humbly, let your light shine for others so that, through you, the divine Bridegroom may heal the broken hearts and fragile marriages of our day.

Herein lies nothing less than the key to the renewal of the Church and of the world.

Msgr. Peter Magee

October 8^th, 2006

Annunciation, DC: 10.00 am