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‘Let the juggernaut roll, we’re UNDEFEATED!’
BROCKLESBY
THE SUITE LIFE
Friday, 14 September 2001
Friday, 21 September 2001
Friday, 28 September 2001
Friday, 5 October 2001
Friday, 19 October 2001
Friday, 26 October 2001
Friday, 2 November 2001
Friday, 7 December 2001
Friday, 25 January 2002
Friday, 1 March 2002
Friday, 12 April 2002
Friday, 19 April 2002
Friday, 26 April 2002
We own Georgetown. The halftime Pop Warner kids, provided they were introduced as ‘Holy Cross Class of 2014,’ could beat Georgetown.
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COMMENTS ON THE PASSING PARADE
God’s on Our Side
By Michael J. Ballway
FEATURES COLUMNIST
L
adies and gentlemen, boys and girls, men and women for others, the announcement for which you've all been waiting: "God's on Our Side" has been authorized for use tomorrow. In fact, it's not only permitted, it's strongly encouraged. "Let's give another hoiah," said unofficial school Cheer Commissioner Joey Brocklesby '03, "and, just for old time's sake, a chu-chu rah-rah while we're at it. Let the juggernaut roll, we're UNDEFEATED!" Joey related these spirited words over a nutritious dinner of Kimball Lazy Chicken Kabobs, in an (ultimately vain) attempt to rile up the stressed-out Crusaders sitting at adjacent tables. Joey is the kind of energetic, sprightly fellow that just doesn't understand how much the pressures of a 12-page paper, or a big Chem exam, or any of the other demands of the Holy Cross life, can upset some people. Even this very reporter, who is a fairly mellow guy, finds himself looking to Joey for inspiration (in more ways than one) when quickly comes the deadline. Perhaps it is his devotion to sports that keeps Joey out of the mental ward. Between classes, he maintains an unswerving loyalty to the Montréal Expos and Cincinnati Bengals, which forces him to confront disappointing realities on a daily basis. Such is the nature of sports, though: they occupy a world nearly completely separate from ours, where the difference between good and bad can be as simple as what shirt you wear. The rules are clear. The objective is clear. The winner, eventually, is clear. So will it be tomorrow, on the storied grounds at the foot of Mt. St. James, where two of the premier tackle-football programs of Division I-AA will clash against the roaring backdrop of Interstate 290. The brazen blue Elis, fresh from a 27-point whooping of the Cornell squad, will attempt to put a stop to the winning ways of our UNDEFEATED Crusaders, winners so far of two Patriot League games, including the 33-7 Georgetown rout played out on that very same South Worcester turf less than a month ago. There is reason for concern, as kickoff time approaches. Last year, when the purple pigskin pageant defeated Georgetown and Towson, their perfect record was ruined in one disastrous afternoon at the Yale Bowl, when an early run of blunders resulted in a 19-point deficit at the half (the Crusaders then rallied back but fell short, losing 33-27). It was the 8th consecutive win over Holy Cross for a team that, in the last two years, has been ranked No. 1 in defense in the Ivy League. But that was last year. Last year, our team finished in 2nd place, and so far it's UNDEFEATED. How have we done it? Let's take a look: The Georgetown Game: We opened the season with a win because we always win against Georgetown. Or at least, Georgetown never beats us. We beat them last year, and we beat ourselves the two years before that, on five interceptions in '99. This is all the evidence necessary to state with conviction that we own Georgetown (as any Senior will tell you, Holy Cross history prior to 1998 is inadmissible evidence). We own Georgetown. Eleven drunken chimpanzees in purple T-shirts could beat Georgetown. The halftime Pop Warner kids, provided they were introduced as "Holy Cross Class of 2014," could beat Georgetown. The Harvard Game: The Crimson humbled us two years ago when, after taunting us with bad jokes at halftime, they came from behind to secure a road victory. Last year, revenge was sweet when the Purple Caravan cheered on a Crusader upset in Allston. It would have been nice to see Harvard beat again (their taunting was that awful), but a cancellation at least preserved the UNDEFEATED record. The Towson Game: While your correspondent was unable to make the trip to Maryland to witness this game in person, he is assured that victory was achieved thanks to a combination of defense, passing, rushing, and special teams. The Yale Game: We will win against Yale. We will win because we are (no kidding) 3-21, all-time, against Yale, and therefore we are "due." We will win because we have never won a home game against Yale, and therefore we are "due." We will win because our offense has already scored 50 points, and Yale's has only scored 40. Never mind that we have played twice as many games -- it just makes us twice as UNDEFEATED. Most importantly, we will win because we're Holy Cross. What other team that we've faced so far has a Jesuit priest, "in full uniform," on the field? What other team puts silver crosses on the back of its helmets? What other team has hordes of churchgoing Catholics yelling out, full-volume, "God's on Our Side"? None, of course. Towson doesn't have a two-level chapel. Harvard wasn't founded by the bishop of Boston. And Georgetown, while ostensibly Catholic, removed the crucifixes from their classroom walls. The Big Guy doesn't like that kind of behavior, and He finds His own mysterious ways of punishing it. Further proof that The Big Guy watches Division I-AA football. So what do we have to fear from Yale? God's on Our Side. This article appeared in the 28 September 2001 edition of The Crusader, on pages 11 (front page of Features section) and 15. The inside headline was the question, "Is Holy Cross Football Blessed with Power from On High?" -- to which the answer is most likely "no," as H.C. suffered another home loss on the day after this column ran. |