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Degrassi The Next Generation

Degrassi The Next Generation
Degrassi High : School's Out
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* MOTHER AND CHILD REUNION PARTS 1 & 2: Remember Baby Emma from DEGRASSI JUNIOR HIGH? Well, she's all grown up and starting Junior High in DEGRASSI herself. Meanwhile, her mom Spike is planning an Old School DEGRASSI Reunion.
Emma is a tweenager who has "met" a guy online named Jordan. He's cute, he's an enviornmentalist and they have soooo much in common! She giddily tells her best friend Manny all the details.
While dropping some of Spike's stuff off at school (Where Snake is now a teacher!) for the reunion, Emma and Manny run into their friend JT and then they run into this guy named Toby that JT met in summer camp. They all end up hanging out together, the whole time Emma gushing about her dream man "Jordan".
Toby, because he wears glasses,  must be a nerd and therefore is ten times wiser than everyone else, says that "Jordan" sounds too good to be true and that it's probably some forty year old man posing as a kid. Emma brushes him off, not wanting to hear it.
Later Emma gets an invitation to actually MEET "Jordan", who will be in town staying at a nearby hotel. Without telling anybody about it, she agrees to go.
The night Emma is going to meet "Jordan"  is the night of the big DEGRASSI HIGH reuniuon and we get to see such Old School favorites as Snake (DEGRASSI teacher), Spike (mother/ hairdresser), Joey (widower / used car salesman / father of small daughter), Caitlin (TV reporter), Lucy (walking and seeing again!), an Amy-less Alison  and a few others (who get miniscule camera time and are just shown in a crowd scene. I saw Liz and Kathleen and a few others. Was Dwayne there? Ya mean he's still alive???).
Caitlin is introducing her obnoxious fiancee Keith to everyone, including Alison who is apparently so horny she's practically honking. Fiancee Keith slips off to try to make a move on Alison and Joey catches them and ends up having a fistfight with the guy. Caitlin dumps Keith and we are left to wonder if the torch Joey carried for Caitlin all these years still burns. (Ooooooooooooooh! Let us hope so!)
Meanwhile, Emma is in a hotel lobby waiting for "Jordan" when a forty year old man walks by and says "Are you Emma? I'm Jordan's teacher. Come on up to our hotel room." Emma stupidly follows the guy upstairs and soon discovers that there IS no "Jordan", that this middle-aged man was just posing as a teen boy so he could lure her to a hotel room to videotape himself molesting her.
Back at home Manny, JT and Toby suspect something bad is gonna happen to Emma and through hacking her computer find out where she is. They run to the DEGRASSI HIGH Old School reunion to tell Spike Emma is in trouble.  Spike and Snake call the cops and rush to the hotel.
They find the hotel room  Emma is being held captive in and rescue her from the evil clutches of Fake Jordan.
Emma and Spike agree not to keep secrets from eachother anymore.
Mistakes In The Show:
Emma - who had blue eyes as a baby in DEGRASSI HIGH - has brown eyes as a teenager in DEGRASSI: THE NEXT GENERATION.
* FAMILY POLITICS: Ashley wants to be school president. Her step-brother Toby wants to thwart her plan so he gets his friend JT to run against her.
* EYE OF THE BEHOLDER: Both chubby insecure Terri and  snooty, stuck-up  Paige have the hots for Spinner. Spinner seems to prefer Terri and it's driving Paige (who sort of looks like Miss Piggy) nuts.
There is a school dance coming up and Ashley is trying to talk Terri into going. Terri is all "Who would wanna dance with me? I'm fat!"  Ashley trys to convince her that if she goes Spinner will dance with her.
Ashley agrees to help tart Terri up for the dance so she looks hot and Paige, who has evil intent, jumps on the bandwagon, offering to "help".
Ashley fixes Terri up then leaves. This is when Paige breaks out the sherry and gets Terri drunk. She sluts her up and then takes her staggering on over to the dance.
At the dance Terri is feeling no pain, busting a move, dancing around like those fat hos on JERRY SPRINGER and grabbing Spinner's face and saying "You're sho cuuuuute!" Then Terri gets a horrified look on her face and covers her mouth and bolts for the Ladies room to puke.
Spinner ends up dancing with Paige and the next day it would seem the two are now a couple. Terri blew it.
B story involves Emma's interest in the "troubled new boy" Sean. She asks him to dance with her and he says "Yes".
* PARENTS DAY: Ashley and Paige get all dressed up for Parents Day because they are trying to make an impression on Toby's talent scout mother. She ends up taking an interest in Terri.
* THE MATING GAME: The school is rehearsing scenes from ROMEO AND JULIET. Jimmy is Romeo. But his girlfriend Ashley is not Juliet. Nasty b*tch Paige is, and Paige has had a long-time rivalry with Ashley, and therefore Ashley is scared Paige is gonna make a move on Jimmy ("She's always wanted everything I've ever had" Ashley says of Paige)
Will Ashley "put out " to keep Jimmy from fooling around with someone else? Or will Jimmy and Ahsley realize they aren't ready for sex and sit on Ahley's bed blowing condoms up like balloons?
* BASKETBALL DIARIES: Jimmy wants to be the star of the basketball team. Spinner offers him one of his Ritalin pills, explaining that Ritalin makes hyper people mellow but it can also make mellow people hyper.
So Jimmy takes the pill and Spinner doesn't and the result is Jimmy bouncing off the walls and Spinner bouncing off the walls....and mooning everybody. Mr Raditch is not amused!
* SECRETS AND LIES: Ashley's father comes to visit and Ashley hopes that her parents will reconcile (even though her Mom is now with Toby's father).
Then Dad drops the bomb on Ashley: He's gay.
While this is all going on, obnoxious over-achiever Liberty is chasing around JT who she has a crush on.
After Toby tells JT about Ashley's father "coming out of the closet" JT gets the "bright idea" to tell Liberty he's gay so she'll leave him alone! (This leads to a very funny scene where JT, acting over-the-top queer, goes "Hi, Liberty, girlfriend!" and then wraps his arm around his "lover" Toby! )
In the end, Liberty finds out JT isn't really gay and she's crushed to find out the extent he would go through to get rid of her.
* COMING OF AGE: Ashley is tired of Jimmy never leaving her alone. She is thinking (aloud) of breaking up with him and the word gets through the grapevine and Jimmy trys to end it with Ashley. But they end up getting back together again.
B Story : Emma is sitting outside the school with Manny when Sean walks over and starts to talk to her. She jumps up to talk to Sean and Manny, realizing that Emma has her peiod (All over the back of her skirt) pulls her back down. The two rush to the Ladies room to clean Emma up. Paige comes in the Ladies room and hands Emma a mini pad. Emma is now a "woman"! (Are You There, God? It's Me: Emma!)
* RUMORS AND REPUTATIONS: Emma wonders why Mr Armstrong is always alone with Liberty, talking after class and slipping her notes. She starts to suspect (aloud) that Mr Armstrong and Liberty have a little somethin-somethin going on and she tells ONE person about it.
The rumor gets passed around and soon the whole school is buzzing about "Mr Armstrong and Liberty Doing It" (Of course, they are not REALLY Doing It. We later find out Mr Armstrong was giving Liberty special help because she has a learning disability)
B story: Spinner finds a bug in his cafeteria food.
* FRIDAY NIGHT: Jimmy and Spinner torment humorless teacher Ms Kwan so bad that she quits (She comes back in later episodes)
Emma has her first date with Sean and everything that can possibly go wrong does.
* WANNABE: Manny wants to be a cheerleader. Emma trys to talk her out of it saying that it's sexist.
Meanwhile JT, Toby and Liberty are looking for the two PRINGLES cans that will win them a million dollars.
* CABARET: Ashley and Terri are preparing a song for the talent show. It's a ballad and Ashley is being a real ham about singing it all seriously and not giving Terri anything to do.
Paige decides she wants to join Ashley and Terri's "group" and is soon totally taking over, turning the song into a pop song, picking out slutty costumes, choreographing sexy dance moves and changing the band's name to PAIGE MICHAELCHUK'S SEX KITTENS..
Ashley drops out of the band because she doesn't  wanna do it Paige's way. When she sees what a huge hit Paige and Terri are performing the song at the school talent show she re-joins the group and the band changes it's name to PMS.
* UNDER PESSURE: Sean is acting like a Bad Boy again. He gets into a fight with JImmy (I forget why) and when Emma trys to break it up Sean knocks her a** down.
Emma breaks up with Sean.
* JAGGED LITTLE PILL: We love this one! JT and Toby are having a sleepover while Toby's parents are out of the house. They know that Ashey and a bunch of her girlfriends are going to be downstairs in their nighties having a pajama party. JT has a hit of "ecstacy", that he plans on splitting with Toby. Then they will go downstairs and get bizz-ay with the girls.(Yeah right)
When Sean stops by they tell him their perverted little plan. He takes the hit of "E" downstairs to slice it in half for them.
Downstairs he runs into Ahsley. He tells her the story and says he's going to give JT and Toby an aspirin instead, figuring they'll never know the difference. He gives Ashley the pill to throw away. Instead Ashley takes it.
Throughout the whole slumber party Ashley is acting crazy, screaming at the TV, dancing wildly with Liberty (!), inviting more people over and just all in all acting whacked out. She took the "E" so she could get funky with Jimmy but she somehow ends up fooling around with Sean...which Jimmy finds out about. Jimmy , and everybody else, ends up furious at Ashley.
Meanwhile, Toby and JT, who took ASPIRIN are in Toby's room acting all f*cked up.
* WHEN DOVES CRY: There's this teenage boy following around Joey Jeremiah and his little girl Angela. Who is it? It's Craig Manning, the son of Joey's dead x-wife Julia. Craig lives with his abusive a**hole father and dreams of a better life, running off and living with his little sister.
Because Emma is Angela's babysitter this gives Craig time to hang out with Angela. Neither his pops or Joey is really thrilled about it...especially when Craig trys to (lets call it what it is, Folks) kidnap his sister.
After Craig gets beaten to a pulp by Dear Old Dad, Joey agrees to let him stay with them.
Meanwhile, JT is trying to get a date with older, popular, b*tchy girl Page, who is lamenting over her terrible mullet hair-do. Her friends offer to give her money to fix her hair if she goes on a pity date with JT. She does, and ends up having a great time. Then her friends show up and tell JT the whole date was just a dare.
JT is crushed, but the next day at school Paige apologizes to him. He says he would be happy if he got a kiss....and she kisses him...On the cheek. (Cheesy granny kiss! But he seems thrilled anyway!)
* GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN: Emma is none too thrilled to find out that her Mom "Spike" is going out with her  teacher "Mr Simpson" / "Snake".
* KARMA CHAMELEON: Ashley is tired of being treated like a pariah by her friends because of the stupd "E" experience over the summer where she acted like a fool, called Paige "a hag" (true dat!) and broke Jimmy's heart and squashed his manhood (not literally) by hooking up with Sean.
She begs everybody for forgiveness and gets it.
But then Sean asks her out on a date and she accepts.
Her friends, who had assumed she was back on with Jimmy since they made up , are apalled and once again go back to treating Ashley like sh*t (Even that two-faced Terri!)
B story: Toby likes Kendra and is horrified to find out she is Spinner's sister.
* WEIRD SCIENCE: There is a school Science  Fair and Emma's project wins, making Liberty make snotty, snarky remarks about how Emma only won because her Mom's boyfriend Mr Simpson was one of the judges.
And - Get This-: Spinner is having a hard time controlling his boners! (I watched this episode with my 8 year old and had to explain to her what a "boner" was. Fun, fun, fun!)
* DRIVE: Joey goes away for a weekend getaway with his  girlfriend and leaves Craig the house with the promise that he can have his friends Jimmy, Spinner and Marco over if they promise not to have any booze, drugs or women at the house. The guys are determined to have some G rated fun anyway and this involves them watching Spinner chow down on eerosole cheese. Wheeeee! Does the fun ever START???
The guys talk Craig into taking a car on Joey's lot for a joyride, not realizing the lot has a silent alarm.
When they get back from their Good Time Cruise after winning concert tickets, they run right into Angry Joey who then tells Craig's friends to get lost and rips up not just Craig's concert ticket, but the other three tickets too! (Man, Joey, way to be a dickweed. Forgotten already the shenanigans YOU used to get into when you were Craig's age?!)
B story: Ashley wanst to get her belly button pierced.
* SHOUT: Cheerleader Paige, who already HAS a boyfriend , Spinner (Ho!) is making eyes at a basketball player from the opposing team and starts flirting with him. He calls her "Spirit" and invites her and Hazel to a house party.
Paige tells Spinner a "Sick Grandma" story and heads to the party dressed like a slut and lookin' for love in all the wrong places.
When Spinner and Jimmy show up at the party (Oh no!) Paige runs upstairs to a bedroom with Dean to hide out. They start to kiss and five seconds later Dean has gotten her pinned down and is ripping a condom open with his teeth. He date rapes Paige.
The next day at school Paige is...Well, I dont know. She isn't totally horrified by the rape yet. It's not until AFTER she relaizes Mr Wonderful has no intentions of calling her and making her his woman she realizes "Hey, maybe I was raped". She holds in her shame until Spinner calls her a nasty name and then she tells everything to Hazel, who tells her she should press charges.
* SHOUT PART 2: PMS is entering a Battle Of The Bands contest and they want to use a piece of poetry Ashley wrote for homework as lyrics to a song.
When they get together to rehearse Ashley shows them her New And Improved Lyrics, making the song about rape. Paige, who was date raped in the last episode, refuses to sing the new lyrics and this causes her to lock horns time and time again with Ashley. FINALLY she tells Ashley the reason why she doesn't wanna do the "rape song" and Ashley is sympathetic and they decide they will sing the song with the original lyrics.
The day of the contest Paige spots Dean in the audience and launches into the rape song ("Poor Thing")
* MIRROR IN THE BATHROOM: Toby is manorexic! Tired of being a dumpy nerd (who my daughter calls "Toad-jee" for some reason) he decides he wants to try out for the wrestling team. His weight puts him in the heavy-weight division fighting hulking guys who can kick the crap out of him though, so he starts starving himself so he can wrestle the light-weights...and look stunning in his spandex man leotard doing it!
In the cafeteria Ashley confronts him on his refusal to eat and to show her up he guzzles down this huge, disgusting looking chili burger thing. He then heads to the Mens room to make himself throw up. JT walks in and hears Toby purging. HE trys to talk about it but Toby ain't having it.
Toby goes out to fight in a match and faints. Everyone finds out about his manorexia.
B story: Terri is a plus sized model.
* TAKE MY BREATH AWAY: Craig goes on a date with younger girl Manny and the next day at school is a "He Said/ She Said" telling of how the date went.
Manny thinks the date was incredibly romantic and that Craig is her steady boyfriend now
Craig thinks Manny acted incredibly childish during the date ("Horsey Horse!") and decides he wants to go back to just being friends.
When Craig sees Manny decorating his locker all girlie he lets the bomb drop: He tells her that it's not his locker he doesn't like, it's her. (Ooooh! HARSH!)
* DON'T BELIEVE THE HYPE: It's International Day at DEGRASSI and everyone is showing their pride, except for Somalian Hazel, who is handing out jerk chicken and lying about being Jamaican. Hey, Mon!
When an Iraqui girl's project gets trashed because someone thinks of her as a "terrorist" Hazel comes foward, admits she's Somalian. The next day she does an oral report on her new-found Somalian pride.
*  WHITE WEDDING: Emma is getting ready for Spike and Snake's wedding (Wow, that was a fast courtship, huh?) Manny tells her she should invite Sean to be her date for the wedding and Emma says "no". Manny then, behind Emma's back, gives Sean an invitation and says it's from Emma. When Emma finds out later she's furious: And she un-invites Sean.
Everything that could go wrong goes wrong in planning the wedding: Craig, Tobey and JT try to get a stripper only to have Joey get one and then not let them watch "The Show" (!), Emma's perm comes out terrible and Spike, who thinks she might be pregnant, takes a pregnancy test and finds out she has a bun in the oven....and Snake had just said he is in no rush for kids. D'oh!
At the wedding everyone awaits to see if Spike and Snake even show up. They DO show up at the last minute in jeans and t-shirts and get married.They then switch to their formals for the party where Sean shows up and dances with, kisses and gets back together with Emma.
* CARELESS WHISPER: Marco has been dating Ellie but he hasn't been Giving Her The Goods.
Ellie is starting to suspect Marco is gay.
Marco is starting to suspect Marco is gay.
We at home are starting to suspect Marco is gay.
And he is!
But to throw everyone at school off his trail Marco tells everyone that Ellie is his "girlfriend"....and even implys that he's been "hitting it"!
* HOT FOR TEACHER: JT has a crush on his teacher "Miss Hot Sauce" and is even trying to imply that she has the hots for him too.
They spend the evening together...birthing baby guniea pigs! (How romantic!)
*  MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE: Emma is dating Sean again and so she invites him to a family dinner. Sean is very uncomfortable with the situation. When he goes into Emma's kitchen to get a glass of water he spots a bottle of booze and helps himself. This leads to him getting drunk and having nasty words with Emma's mother. He then storms out and goes to Jimmy's alcohal-free party.
At Jimmy's party (where Ashley is trying to get back together with Jimmy, who is too busy hosting the party to pitch woo at Ashley) it doesn't take long for Sean to find Jimmy's parents booze stash and start hitting that. When Jimmy finds out he throws Sean out.
Emma has a talk with Sean telling him that alcohal is not a good way to "deal with his problems".
* RELAX: The girls hockey team is trying to beat the boys team so they can get Joey Jeremiah's Used Car Emporium (not really his used car lot's name) to sponser them and give them snazzy new uniforms. Their coach Liberty is an out-of-control gestapo!
In the end Joey sponsors BOTH the boys team AND the girls team and everyone looks just darling in their new duds.
And Liberty's fat head goes back to normal size.
* DRESSED IN BLACK: Jimmy and Ashley are a Happy Couple again. Or ARE they?
Jimmy misses the "old Ashley", a cute little preppie-ish girl. Ashley has now taken to wearing all black and is borderline "Goth".and Jimmy just isn't digging it.
Ashley is pissed that Jimmy insists on keeping her old pictures up in his locker. She even gives him a new Robert Smith-like picture of her and Jimmy puts it to the old picture of the "Ashley he likes".
In a class project re-enacting a scene from TAMING OF THE SHREW Ashley shows Jimmy how she feels she can't be controlled and subdued for the love of a man. She breaks up with Jimmy because he can't accept her the way she is.
B story: Toby buys condoms "just in case" he gets lucky with Kendra and Spinner finds the condoms and wants to kill Toby.
* FIGHT FOR YOUR RIGHT: Emma is protesting the genetically modified food the cafeteria is serving. Mr Radicth trys to stop her and Emma continues to protest OUTSIDE the school. She ends up getting in trouble fighting for what she believes in.
* HOW SOON IS NOW? DEGRASSI has a basketball game against the school that Paige's rapist Dean is in. This leads to Paige getting upset and JT picking a fight with Dean - while in his cute little cat mascot outfit.
Paige vows to make Dean pay.
* TEARS ARE NOT ENOUGH: Craig's father trys to make up with Craig. He is trying to talk Craig into moving back in with him. But little by little Craig starts to see his father's old habits coming back.
When his father has a fight with him Craig goes back to Joey's house.
Later on the police show up at Joey's house to let Craig know his father had an accident. And is dead.
* TEARS ARE NOT ENOUGH PART 2:  At Craig's father's funeral Craig starts to laugh maniacally at the eulogy, where his father is depicted as a loving caring father. "HAH" says Craig. The same father who beat him up?! He's GLAdDthe old b*stard is dead!
Everyone wonders why Craig isn''t upset by the old b*stard's death and worry that he isn't "allowing himself to grieve".
Craig asks Ashley to go to the DEGRASSI Luau with him and she accepts.
At the Luau Craig has a break-down and throws a fit and storms out.
He is followed by Terri and the two of them sit in the hallway talking and crying.
Craig "lets it all out" and feels much better. He returns to the Luau and dances with his "queen", Ashley.
FATHER FIGURE: Spike is about to give birth to Snake's spawn and this has Emma thinking about her "real father" who she never knew: Shane McKay.  She only has one blurry memory of Shane, and it was from when she was three years old and went to visit him in a hospital. So because that meeting took place in a hospital Emma thinks Shane is a doctor.
She starts looking for Shane McKay's in phone books and stuff and finally finds the hospital he is at through the DEGRASSI HIGH alumni list in the school computer.
She goes to the hospital with Craig to meet Shane and is surprised (and not PLEASANTLY surprised neither!) to find that Shane is NOT a doctor, but some weird mental patient dude. "You have pretty blonde hair like Emma" he says when Emma sneaks into his room. "I AM Emma" she says. Shane, who isn't "all there" says she CAN'T be Emma because Emma is only three years old. (Boy, those years just FLY by when you're in a mental institution, huh?) 
Before Emma leaves she gives Shane her address so they can keep in touch. Well, no good can come from this: Shane breaks out of the hospital and shows up at Emma's house, determined to pick things up where he left off with Spike over a decade ago! He doesn't take the news that Spike is married to Snake and having a Baby Snake very well. In fact, he asks Spike to dump Snake and marry him and let him move in and be the baby's daddy (Oh, Shane: You so cwazy!)

When Spike goes to call the hospital to come pick Shane up he has a violent fit and trashes the house. Then Spike goes into labor.
Emma hands Shane something to knit (!), Liz and Snake hurry to the house and Spike has a good old fashioned home birth.
At the end, Shane goes back to the hospital and Emma learns to embrace her "real family": Spike, Snake and Baby Jack.
* U GOT THE LOOK: Why can't sweet little Manny get a man? Because even though she's cute as a button she's not hot and trashy! So manny gives herself a make-over and  starts showing up for school dressed like a Pussycat Doll.
When Mr Raditch and Liberty complain that they can see Manny's thong Manny solves the problem by refusing to wear underwear. Manny's new a**-cleavage makes her the hit of the school (At least with the boys) and JT starts to realize he has a crush on Manny. But Manny is only interested in flirting with the older boys. (We are supposed to feel sorry for JT in this episode but I just can't: He doesn't realize he likes Manny until AFTER she starts dressing like a ho? Where are HIS honerable intentions?!)  Soon Manny has an older boyfriend and a throng of panting male admirerers and Emma is totally disgusted by young Manny's whorish new ways.
B Story: Craig, Spinner, Marco and Jimmy have started a band and are having jam sessions in Joey's garage: Which has Joey running around giving them advice they don't want or need and singing that damn Everybody Wants Something song.
* PRIDE: Marco is having a hard time coming to terms with his closet homosexuality. Oh sure, he has the whole school thinking he's dating Ellie, but he also has been getting caught giving Sean salacious looks while watching him shoot baskets shirtless. "What are you? A fag?" Spinner teases. Ummmm...Yeah, Spin: He is!
Everybody goes to the beach with Paige's gay older brother Dylan, he of the twinkling blue eyes and mop of Shirley Temple curls. He's openly gay . And proud, damn it! (Not like that poser, Marco)
When everyone teases Marco and Ellie for not making out in public Ellie tells them that she and Marco aren't "dating" anymore. She doesn't want to be part of Marco's charade anymore.
Marco is finding himself attracted to Dylan but Spinner is trying to set him up with Hazel. Finally Marco snaps and tells Spinner he's gay. Spinner does NOT take the news well.
B Story: Snake may have cancer.
* PRIDE PART II: Spinner is being a nasty prick about Marco being gay and even writing nasty things about Marco on the mens room wall.
Everyone is going to gay Dylan's hockey game and since Marco and Spinner are fighting Marco doesn't go with The Gang. He goes by himself, walking through "The Gay Village" alone at night. A bunch of guy's jump him and attack him and Marco crys (I almost cryed too!) He tells everyone he was being robbed but the truth is he was "gay bashed".
B Story: Snake is taking tests to see if he has cancer. If he DOES he will have to start chemo. Because he might lose his hair if he has to do chemo anyway he raises money for the Spirit Squad by offering to shave his head in front of everyone if they raise enough money. Now Snake AND Joey are bald!
* GANGSTA GANGSTA: Sean is acting like a thug again: Hanging out with "The Bad Kids" (including that douchebag Jay) and stealing stuff. He steals Snake's new laptop computer. Snake thinks he absent-mindedly "lost" it (He's so tired from the chemo treatments) but Emma suspects that Sean is a thief and HE is the one who took the computer (And she's right!)
B Story: JT has a wet dream about Liberty (!) and when he's acting like a prick towards Toby, Toby tells everyone about it. (How embaressing! Why didn't JT just tell him he had a dream about Paige?!)
SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO?: Ashley and Craig are a young couple in love and he wants to go all the way but she keeps pushing him away.
One night Ashley decides she's ready to Give Up The Ghost. She is throwing a big house party and she tells Craig that when everyone at the party goes home Tonight's The Night. Boom Chicka Chicka Chicka Boom!
Craig (Stupid f*ck that he is!) tells Spinner that he's going to bang Ashley tonight and Ashley overhears Spinner talking about it (D'oh!) and Ashley calls the night of sin off.
Manny starts flirting with Craig and telling him how Ashley doesn't appreciate him and how he needs a woman who will treatt him right. And then Manny "treats him right" (nudge nudge, wink wink) And Manny and Craig "Do It"! 
Of course, Manny, who has been jonesing for Craig ever since he showed up in Season Two, thinks this means that they are now a couple. Of course not! He's still going out with Ashley.
B Story is a good one: To get Snake's mind off his cancer and chemo treatments Joey takes him for a Big Night Out of.........bowling (?) where they meet up with Wheels (He's shaved bald too now!) and the three of them have a great time singing yet another retread of Everybody Wants Something!
* WHISPER TO A SCREAM: Ellie's father who is in the service gets shipped away and Mom starts drinking.
While this is all going on Ellie starts an internship working for Caitlin.
All the stress is too much and Ellie starts cutting herself.
B Story: Terri has a secret admirer and is in dread that it may be Toby, who has been acting very weird lately. She is relieved to find out that it's that Harry Potter looking guy Rick (Hell, she's probably relieved to find out it's anybody but Toby!)
* AGAINST ALL ODDS: Emma has a crush on this black kid named Chris. She finds out he will be guest DJ'ing at a rave and decides to go with Manny so she can hopefully catch Chris's eye.
When they get to the rave Emma finds out that Chris has a gilfriend. They end up alone and Chris goes to kiss her but Emma, knowing Chris has a girlfriend, can't go through with it. She returns to the rave, looking for Manny but she can't find Manny anywhere.
When Emma gets back home she catches Manny and Craig making out in her room. Craig hightails it out of there and Emma starts fighting with Manny: Was Manny just trying to get her to go off with Chris so she could sneak back to Emma's room with Craig? And doesn't Manny care that Craig is dating Ashley? And what exactly is loose Manny DOING with Craig anyway???  Emma "breaks up" with Manny.
B Story: The guy's have a slumber party and Spinner is afraid that Marco will make a move on him. Marco let's Spinner know he ain't all that.
* NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP: The good news is Terri finally has a boyfriend. The bad news is it's crazy pyscho Rick and he beats her up.
While rehearsing for Marco's play ("Ma-Maaaaaa!") Rick keeps giving Terri awful acting tips and flys off the handle when she doesn't take his advice. Everyone is starting to suspect that somethings wrong with Rick. Hazel sees scars on Terri and asks her about it and trys to talk Terri into breaking up with Rick.
* HOLIDAY: Wow, Craig has really gone from famine to feast: Not only is he going out with Ashley ("champagne") he's also banging Manny ("ice-cream") on the side.
He goes out to buy them both Christmas presents and then hides them under a blanket in his room (The presents, not Ashley and Manny).
One day when Ashley is in his room and cold she goes to wrap the blanket around herself and finds the presents. She wonders who they are for.
When she sees Manny wearing the bracelt she saw in Craig's pile of gifts Ashley starts to suspect something is up.
Meanwhile, Joey breaks up with his girlfriend Sydney to reunite with his childhood love Caitlin.
* THIS CHARMING MAN: Emma starts hanging out with Chris, who has just broken up with his girlfriend. He is interested in hooking up with Emma but everytime they are together all Emma wants to do is track Sean so she can prove that he was the one who stole Snake's laptop.
* ACCIDENTS WILL HAPPEN PART 1: Manny's pregnant! And the baby is Craig's!
Manny doesn't want her parents to find out about it and ship her off to the The Philipnes (Wait a minute: Manny Manuella Santos isn't Spanish?!) so she plans on getting an abortion. Then she finds out that Craig, who has always wanted a "real family" wants to keep the baby. They plan on keeping the baby and getting married.
* ACCIDENTS WILL HAPPEN PART 2: After trying to babysit Baby Jack goes terribly Manny decides that she's not ready to become a mother and decides to get an abortion. She isn't going to marry Craig after all (And its a good thing to cuz if she did her name would be Mrs Manny Manning...and that's just STUPID!)
Meanwhile, JT once again tells Liberty to "bug off" so she starts looking for love elsewhere: Newly interested in her class project partner Sean, she starts dressing in leather and flirting with him. Sean is obviously repelled but nicely enough sets her up with one of his thug friends.
* TAKE ON ME: THE BREAKFAST CLUB DEGRASSI style. Sean, Ellie, Hazel, Jimmy and Toby all have Saturday detention together.
The highlight of this episode is watching Mr Raditch workout in the school gym in  a pair of shorts with one of those big rubber workout balls. (It isn't Raditch's Manliest Moment).
Ellie ends up with Sean, Hazel ends up with Jimmy and Toby ends up alone again naturally.
* DON'T DREAM IT'S OVER: Terri gets back together with her control freak boyfriend Rick even though all her friends are against it.
They all go out for a day of fun together and Rick and Terri end up going off and having a fight. Rick, who caint keep his damn hands to himself, pushes Terri and she falls and hits her head on a cinderblock and is knocked out cold. Her friends are horrified to find Rick looming over Terri's unconcious body.
Terri goes to the hospital, where she remains in a coma for a couple of episodes.
B Story: Sean is tired of Ellie always bringing her best friend Marco on their dates (What a hypocrite Sean is! He always brings Jay and his other thug friends on he and Ellie's dates!)
* ROCK AND ROLL HIGH SCHOOL: There is a Battle Of The Bands and both Craig's band and Ashley's band are in it.
Ashley has been acting like Queen B*tch to Craig lately (And why shouldn't she? He cheated on her with Manny and even offered to MARRY Manny when she got knocked up!) and Craig wants Ashley, whose every song is an I Hate Craig Anthem (She even had t-shirts made up for her band with a picture of Craig's tortured head aflame on them!), to forgive him.
He sings  the What I Know song ("What I know is that I hurt you, what I know is that I suck and what I know is that I'm sorry") at the Battle Of The Bands and his band wins and Ashley forgives him.
* IT'S RAINING MEN: Marco finally hooks up with Dylan.
And JT stars in a terrible corny TV commerical ("Don't get all up in my fries, dog!)
* I WANT CANDY: FERRIS BUELLER'S DAY OFF DEGRASSI style. Spinner, Paige and Ashley all play hookey from school.
Spinner and Paige are determined to have fun but Ashley is being a total downer. She ends up getting into the spirit of things by entering an Elvis Impersonator contest.
* OUR HOUSE: Sean's older brother moves away and Sean, who doesn't want to leave girlfriend Ellie, stays at the apartment by himself, getting student welfare. But soon Sean's place turns into Party Central and his grades are dropping. Can he pull his act together?
J.T. asks Manny to a dance. They start "dating" but nothing really comes of it.
* THE POWER OF LOVE: DEGRASSI has a huge Bollywood party and everything that can go wrong does. This includes Jimmy getting a sari instead of a suit (He does look cute in it though!), Jimmy, Spinner, Paige and Hazel ending up with the same waiter Spinner and Paige had stiffed on their hookey day with Ashley and a crappy piece of sh*t limo being driven by BILLY RAY CYRUS. When they finally get to school everything is great...until the fire starts.
* GHOST IN THE MACHINE - PART 1: Paige goes to court to accuse Dean of rape. the court finds Dean not guilty and Paige doesn't know how to deal.
Craig gets $10,000 from his dead father.
* GHOST IN THE MACHINE - PART 2: Paige goes to a party and acts like a total tramp, flirting with other guys in front of Spinner. They have a fight and she takes his car keys and goes to a nearby frat party where Dean is bartending, trying to get into the frat.
Paige picks a fight with Dean and tells everybody at the party he's a liar and a rapist. Then she goes outside and plows Spinner's car into Dean's a few times for laughs.
The police think Spinner is the one who trashed Dean's car and Paige comes foward and admits she did it. She apologizes to Spinner and promises to pay him back for his cars damages.
B story: Craig buys a new guitar. Joey starts hitting Craig up for money, telling him they are going broke.
* KING OF PAIN: Marco is running for Student Council President. His running mate is that nasty tough girl Alex and she's walking around making snotty gay remarks at Marco, quipping "Who would want a queer for President?" (or something like that).
Marco's parents, who still don't know Marco is a poof- and dating Dylan, are excited that Marco is running for school president.
Dylan breaks up with Marco because Marco won't tell his parents they are a couple.
Marco's mother figures out that Marco is gay and Dylan was his boyfriend. Marco "comes out to his mother"...but isn't ready to come out to his father yet.
Marco wins the race for Class President and gets back together with Dylan.
* MERCY STREET: Terri's crazy x-boyfriend Rick comes back to DEGRASSI and Emma trys to get him thrown out of the school.
B story: J.T. uses a penis pump after catching a glimpse of Craig's manhood in the locker room (!) (You know: I ALREADY had the hots for Craig BEFORE I saw this episode. Finding out he had a huge cock was just gravy. Now I'm cukoo bananas for him!)
Manny dumps J.T.
* ANYWHERE I LAY MY HEAD: When Ellie's alcoholic mother starts a fire that nearly burns down the house Ellie moves in with Sean, telling her Mom that she is staying with Ashley.
Spinner works the car wash with Manny while Paige is away and is flirting with Manny the whole time.
* ISLANDS IN THE STREAM: Paige is working to get Spinner the money to repair his cra that she trashed. Spinner is being a real ball buster. AND he's also flirting with Manny The Man-Stealer whenever Paige is not around.
Paige and Spinner break up.
Meanwhile, everybody at DEGRASSI is making weird kid Rick's life a living Hell.
* TIME STANDS STILL - PART ONE: The DEGRASSI gang is still busting Rick's chops, trying to get him to leave DEGRASSI.
Rick, Jimmy, Toby and Emma go on a quiz show called WHACK YOUR BRAIN and when Rick goes up to do the final bonus round at the end Jay and Spinner give him the CARRIE treatment, rigging a bucket of paint to come down and then feathers. (Wait a minute: HOW did they rig this up to fall on Rick at just the right time? In just the right spot?) Rick is humiliated and  goes home and gets a gun.
* TIME STANDS STILL - PART TWO: Rick comes back to school, ready to reap vengence.
When he's in the Mens room Spinner and Jay are talking about the "tar and feathering" and notice Ricks's feet under one of the bathroom stalls (They knew it was Rick cuz , well, the feet had paint and feathers on 'em!) and pretend that JIMMY was the one who master-minded the prank.
Rick goes and finds Jimmy and shoots him. Emma, Sean and Toby hear the shot and run over. Rick holds the gun up to shoot Emma and Sean wrestles with him to get the gun away. A shot goes off. Rick is dead. (Jimmy is still alive and in the hospital. In later epsiodes he is in a wheelchair.)
* BACK IN BLACK; Sean is being treated like a "hero" for saving the school from Crazy Man Rick. When he sees his Mom and Dad on a news show talking about their son, the hero, he decides he's going to jump into a car and drive back to his home town to confront his parents. He takes Ellie, Emma and Jay with him.
In the end Sean ends up making peace with his parents and decides he wants to stay with them (How nice for his girlfriend and roommate Ellie!)
* NEUTRON DANCE: Craig's band DOWNTOWN SASQUATCH is supposed to be in the studio making a demo, but everytime the band goes to jam they are stuck listening to Craig and Ashley do another corny love song duet. "Since when is Ashley in the band?" Spinner and Marco wonder.
Becaues Spinner is now sort of dating Manny he has HER join the band, wearing cute outfits, stupid hats and shaking a tamborine (Manny! Ashley must LOOOOVE that!) THEN Marco brings in an accordian. All these stupid stunts are a ploy to get Craig to say he wants things back the way they were....Which would mean "the way they were BEFORE Ashley joined the group".
At the last minute Craig kicks Ashley out of the band and the recording studio but once she leaves upset he can't concentrate on working on the demo. He runs out of the studio and after Ashley. He totally blows the demo for himself and everybody else in the band (Gee, thanks, Craig!)
B Story: Paige takes a yoga class and gets a crush on the instructor, student teacher Mr Orleander.
VOICES CARRY - PART ONE: Craig and Ashley are a couple again. When she goes to her father's gay wedding Craig steals Joey's credit card and goes to where the wedding is and gets a hotel room to woo Ashley  in.
Ashley "Gives Up The Ghost" and then Craig goes to her father's wedding with her. Then Craig decides now would be a good time to pop the question. He races back home, gets his mother's wedding ring, comes back and asks Ashley to marry him. Ashley, not knowing what to say, implys she will marry him...One day...But not anytime soon.  Crazy Craig makes an announcement that he and Ashley are engaged! (Ashley dies of embaressment).
When Craig realizes he and Ashley AREN'T engaged he has a total flip-out and ruins the wedding. Then he comes home where he is confronted by Angry Joey, who he beats the Hell out of.
Everbody starts to suspect that Angry Young Man Craig might be a few dimes short of a buck and decide he needs meds.
* VOICES CARRY - PART TWO: Craig is bi-polar. And pretty damn hot!
Liberty and JT are a couple.
* BARK AT THE MOON: IS Manny Spinner's "girlfriend" or not? She has been flirting with The New Kid  Chester.
* SECRET - PART ONE: Okay, I personally found this episode a little hard to swallow. (Ha ha)
Emma, who just hasn't been the smae since the shooting has been hanging out with that no good lowlife thug Jay. He invites her down to the ravine where everybody goes to get drunk and give head.
At first Emma is totally repelled and then she decides "What the Heck" and starts giving Jay blowjobs for cheap rubber bracelets!
* SECRET - PART TWO: There is a gonorrhea outbreak at DEGRASSI. Jay's girlfriend has it. The girl he has been cheating on his girlfriend with has it. Oh sh*t. Maybe Emma has it too!
Emma ends up having to tell her Mom and Snake about her "oral fixation" so they will make her a doctor's appointment (How embaressing!)
* EYE OF THE TIGER: Spinner finally confesses he was responsible for Rick flipping out and shooting up the school so he can be friends with Jimmy again.
* QUEEN OF HEARTS: Ellie starts playing poker for money to pay her rent. In the end she ends up moving back in with her Mom who is clean and sober now.
B Story: Paige is dating student teacher Mr Oleander.
* MODERN LOVE: Manny leaks out the secret of Mr Oleander and Paige's secret affair.
* MOONLIGHT DESIRES: Marco is head over heels in love with Dylan. He is shocked when he shows up at Dylan's dorm room unannounced and catches Dylan making out with another guy. Dylan tells Marco that he's just "experimenting" and suggests Marco "experiment" too.
Marco trys to get Dylan jealous at a party by going off with another guy. Dylan doesn't much care and Marco can't go through with actually fooling around with the other guy.
Marco goes off with Craig to ask him for advice and when Dylan walks in Marco kisses Craig to get Dylan jealous. (I love this scene! A Craig and Marco sandwhich? Count me in!)
* WEST END GIRLS: Paige has been missing Spirit Squad practice because she's too busy dating Mr Oleander. Manny has been taking her place as head cheerleader. Well, Paige ain't havin' that! She has Manny knocked down to being team mascot (Hey, where's JT?!)
This leads to an ugly back and forth feud between Paige and Manny.
Meanwhile, director Kevin Smith is in town planning to shoot his new movie in the halls of DEGRASSI. He asks Craig to write a song for the movie and flirts with Caitlin.
* GOIN' DOWN THE ROAD: Craig is acting nucking futs again. He's refusing to take his meds.
He plans on following Ashley to England this summer but she tells him she wants to go alone. Craig decides to live in the DEGRASSI HIGH boiler room (!) while Kevin Smith shoots his film in the school. Craig spends his days writing his song for the Kevin Smith flick and freaking out.
* GOIN' DOWN THE ROAD 2: Craig is homeless and living on the street (?! WHAT?!) and he hooks up with some shady street musician guy who beats him up and steals his guitar.
Caitlin breaks up with Joey.

Don't Get All Up In My Fries, Dawg!

DEGRASSI: It's Not Just A Show: It's An Obsession