LIVING IN THE PAST

TV Shows I Love (And Ones I Would Love To See)

Television: For those rare times you wouldn't rather make love or read a book.

Long Live The Rascals
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Be They Dead Or Alive!

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MY FAVORITE SHOWS:
 
THE SIMPSONS: D'oh! All American dysfunctional family. Still the funniest show on television. My personal favorites are the Halloween episodes (Especially the one ith the killer Krusty doll) and the Flaming Moe episode which features AEROSMITH.
 
QUEER AS FOLK: Ground-breaking gay soap opera. I must confess I initially tuned in just to see if Hal Sparks really walks around naked. (He do!)  After watching just one episode I was totally hooked.
This show has someone for us all to identify with.
Brian: Gorgeous, self-centered hedonist
Michael: Whiny, put-upon best friend of Brian who is just looking to be loved
Ted: Normal, boring guy with secret addictions (Michael shrine, porn, and drugs)
Emmett: Flllllaming good time party queen
Justin: Brian's long suffering, young artist boyfriend.
This show ran five seasons. We viewers waited with baited breath to see who Brian would end up with: Justin or Michael. SPOILER: They totally pulled the rug out from under us. He ended up with neither!
 
Stuff on VH1 like I LOVE THE '70s and I LOVE THE '80s: Hysterical commentary on my two favorite decades brought to you by people like Hal "Yummy Yummy" Sparks!
 
DEGRASSI HIGH: Not the new NOGGIN ones, the Canadian originals. You know what I'm talking aboot: Joey, Snake, Wheels, Caitlin, Spike......so many great charactors. These people were the most life-like teenagers on television (Unlike, say, BEVERLY HILLS 90210's mannequin teens of great wealth). If you like AFTERSCHOOL SPECIALS like I do than this was the show for you.
 
Some of DEGRASSI HIGH's prime subjects:
 
* Losing Your Virginity
* Getting Pregnant
* Keeping The Baby Against The Wishes Of The Boy's Parents
* Accepting The Boy's Allowance Money For Diapers 
* The Boy Takes Acid At A Rock Show
*  The Boy Jumps Off A Bridge Becoming A Mental Patient  
 
And that was just one charactor's story-lines! 
 
Other popular DEGRASSI HIGH themes were:
 
* Inter-racial dating
* Eating disorders
* Let's try smoking
* Let's try drinking
* Let's try drugs
* Let's try to get into a strip club
* Suicide
 
One of the best beloved episodes was when School Bully Dwayne got AIDS. I know people who cheered. Terrible, I know...but Dwayne was a real b*stard!
 
THE LITTLE RASCALS: You guys remember THE LITTLE RASCALS, right? (Anybody who says "No", Leave this website right now! You're not worthy!) Those old school black and white shorts they used to show on TV in the '70s about a bunch of rag-tag kids running around their Depression Erea neighborhood...back in the days when kids COULD run around thier neighborhood without getting thrown in the trunk of some Dirty Old Man's car.
 
Well, anyway, one day my daughter and a bunch of her friends were running around in my yard and they were all looking pretty raggedy this particular day. For starters, it looked like everybody had dressed themselves that day. Some of the clothes were too big, some clothes were too small, one kid was wearing a red shirt with orange pants...it was really quite horrific for ME who was dressed in tasteful basic black. They were also sweaty. And they had run through the sprinklers a couple of times. The three things combined made them look downright "Po Folk". Well, anyway, they were all lined up on a wall eating popsicles or something and I said "I should grab my camera. You guys look like THE LITTLE RASCALS" and my daughter said "Who are THE LITTLE RASCALS?" A pall of SHAME fell over me!
 
How could my daughter have lived close to a decade and somehow NEVER SEEN a LITTLE RASCALS episode???
 
It's not my fault, really. They just don't play the OUR GANG clips on television anymore - And you would think with 500 cable stations SOMEONE would!
 
Now I'm sure a few of you are going to tell me "It's all that b*stard Bill Cosby's fault. He bought up all the rights because he thought the show was racist" Believe me, I thought that urban legend was true too! As a teenager I used to curse The Cos cuz I believed the rumors that he had deprived me of my God-given right as an American to watch Buckwheat wait on Spanky and Alfalfa hand and foot and do their bidding (In all fairness, Porky had to wait on them too - And HE was WHITE!)
 
Then one day not long ago I went on SNOPES to find out some RASCALS info and found out that the Cosby rumor wasn't true.
 
So why isn't anyone playing THE LITTLE RASCALS? When I was a kid it was a right of passage to watch it. I now wonder if we had laptops and X-BOX and cable and all that other stuff in the '70s if we still would have watched an old, grainy black and white show that had started filming in the 1920s. Something tells me I would have. And there's a good reason WHY I would have: Scotty Beckett.
 
Yeah, yeah...I know, a lot of people are saying "WHO?!" right now. Everybody knows Spanky. Everybody knows Alfalfa. Everyone knows Buckwheat, Porky and Darla. But no seems to remember Scotty. And he was the cutest one!
 
I guess I had my first Pictures Of Lily crush on Scotty. I just remember being a little girl, watching THE LITTLE RASCALS  looking at Scotty and thinking "Wow! Whatta babe!" Little did I know that when I was watching it in the '70s that Scotty was already dead (He died of a drug overdose in his thirtys. A lot of The Rascals had tragic deaths. You can read about all that stuff on SNOPES too)
 
Scotty was Spanky's side-kick before Alfalfa came along (And for this reason I think I sort of RESENT Alfie for coming along and ruining things for me!)  He was the kid with the huge off-the-shoulder sweater, the huge ripped pants and the backwards baseball cap. Let's face it, Folks: Scotty was gansta' before gangsta' was gangsta'!
 
And what a face! Sooooo cute! Testament to this is that I bought a LITTLE RASCALS dvds box set off AMAZON and watched it with my daughter. Now SHE has a crush on Scotty Beckett and even has a picture of him hanging up in her room!
 
For more info on THE LITTLE RASCALS please read my article on them on my MORE '70s NOSTALGIA page, o-tay? O-tay!
 
KING OF THE HILL: Yup. Adventures of Texas red-neck propane salesman, his family and his beer drinking friends.
 
TV LAND AND NICK AT NITE :  Ah! Late night television, where they show all the old favorites:
 
* THE BRADY BUNCH
* THE PARTRIDGE FAMILY
* HAPPY DAYS
* THE ODD COUPLE
* TAXI
* WKRP IN CINCINATTI
* SOAP
* CHEERS
* LAVERNE & SHIRLEY
 
* For reviews of these shows go to MORE '70s NOSTALGIA page.
 
HEADBANGERS BALL/ METAL MANIA: 'Twas a time when you got home from a night of drinking and put on the TV to find HEADBANGERS BALL, and it was a beautiful thing. I dont know exactly when  this show disappeared (The Grunge era, maybe?) but nowadays the closest thing I can find is METAL MANIA, a show Vh1 puts on at ill hours. Sometimes they put it on at 4 PM which isn't so bad. Sometimes they put it on at 9 AM and I'm not really ready to thrash around at that hour.

SEINFELD: There's some unwritten rule that if you live in New York you have to love this show. Misadventures of comedian Jerry and his friends George, Kramer and Elaine.
 
FUTURAMA: Philip Fry isn't a pizza delivery boy. He's a pizza delivery man. He's in his twentys but acts more like a teenager. He's a Born Loser type. He's working on New Years Eve when he runs into his girlfriend Michelle going to a New Years EVE party with another guy and begins to "suspect she's cheating". He ends up making a delivery to a cryogenic lab. He accidentally falls into one of the freezing chambers and gets frozen. When he's thawed out it's New Years Eve 3000. In a way this sucks because everyone he knew is long dead. But in a way it's good because it gives him a second chance to have a go at life and maybe not be such a loser this time around.
Apparently when you're thawed out after being cryogenically frozen they probe you then they install a chip in the palm of your hand that helps them place you in your field of expertise. Fry's chip would make him a delivery boy for the rest of his life, a career he doesn't want. He makes a break for it, trying to evade Leela, the sexy one-eyed alien woman whose job it is to install the chip in his hand.
Through Leela, Fry found out he had one living relative: A great, great, great (Keep going) nephew named Professor Farnsworth. He goes to look for a payphone to call The Professor and ends up walking into a Suicide Booth where he meets Bender, a wise-a**, drinking, smoking robot who wants to kill himself because his only function in life is to bend girders that are used to make Suicide Booths.
The two of them try to escape Leela. When she finally catches them she admits that she also hates her job. She removes her chip and now the three of them are off to find Professor Farnsworth to see if they can work for him. He runs an intergalactic delivery service. His co-workers are once-limbo-champion Hermes, a rich girl intern named Amy and a lobster doctor named Zoidberg.
I feel funny pointing this out but I will anyway: There is so much to do about shows today not having inter-racial charactors. FUTURAMA definitely goes beyond the call of duty in that area: The main charactors are white human Fry, white Cycops alien/ mutant Leela, Asian Amy, white senior citizen Farnsworth, African American  Hermes, robot Bender and crustacean Zoidberg! And they all work together wonderfully and although they make jokes at eachother's expense you can tell they really love eachother! A lesson to be learned: If this motley crew can get along, can't we?
 
SOME MORE SHOWS THAT DON'T SUCK:
 
THE DREW CAREY SHOW
THE PJS
MALCOLM IN THE MIDDLE
EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND
THE KING OF QUEENS
DR PHIL
DEGRASSI: THE NEXT GENERATION
NED'S DECLASSIFIED SCHOOL SURVIVAL GUDE
DRAKE AND JOSH
MR MEATY
CHOWDER
DRAWN TOGETHER
 
Two Defunct Shows I Really Miss:
 
1. MONSTERVISION: A late-night movie show hosted by Joe Bob Briggs who sat in front of a trailer and drank cheap beer while giving you little-known trivia about the movie. He was funny as Hell. Even if you didn't enjoy the movies they were showing, just watching the Joe Bob parts was amusing enough. The best part was when he would hold up a chart of all the violence and nudity that was going to be in the movie
 
Example:
 
Two gun-wounds
One knife to throat
One kick in groin
One bleach in the eyes
Three breasts
 
* More than anyone else I have to credit Joe Bob Briggs as being my role model. He found a way to drink beer, watch movies, make jokes and get paid for it! Now granted, I sit here drinking beer, watching movies, making jokes and hosting a website but, damn it, I haven' t found a way to get payed for it yet!
 
2. TALK SOUP: This was a real "Hi, Honey, I'm Home" show. You'd get home from work, kick off your shoes, turn on the TV and there would be Heaven-Must-Be-Missing-An-Angel Greg Kinnear waiting for you to tell you about the days goings-on. They would take the best (Or in some cases the worst) clips from all of the day's talk shows and play em. (And this was before we knew most of THE JERRY SPRINGER SHOW was fake, so we would just sit slack-jawed watching people throw chairs at the uncle they were alledgedly sleeping with) Greg Kinnear left to do movies and John Henson replaced him. John was no Greg in The Looks Department  but he had a great sense of humor (Sounds like a blind date, huh?) Just as soon as I got used to coming home to John every night he too left. But not to worry: He was replaced by love of my life Hal Sparks (Yeeee-Haaaa!). As soon as I got into Hal, guess what? Yup. He decided to leave TALK SOUP too! They must have payed sh*t. These guys really treated TALK SOUP like an internship that they wasted time in 'til something better came along. Hal was replaced by Aeisha Tyler who, while not a bad host, was not the same as coming home to a TALK SOUP Guy at the end of a hard day. The next thing ya' knew they kept moving the show's time slot around. At one point it was playing at, like, four in the morning! After that  TALK SOUP was pretty much forced to fold and call it a day.
 
REALITY TV: I hate reality TV. I will make two exceptions though:

1. MAURY POVITCH (Paternity Suit themed episodes):  I am hooked on these. Don't call me when these are on cuz I won't answer the phone. You know what I'm talking about: The show where a woman gets up there on stage with two guys to find out which one is the father of her baby and she finds out.....it's neither of them!
 "But I weren't with no one else!" she cries. 
A couple of weeks later Maury brings her back with two other potential fathers. And guess what? Nine outta ten times they're not the father either!
Now I know it's mean-spirited to laugh at other people's misfortune. Well, then they shouldn't go on TV and air their dirty little secrets, now should they?
 
JUDGE JUDY: There are about forty Reality TV Judge shows on television. JUDGE JUDY is the only good one.
Judge Judy is a tiny little woman with the heart of an angry lion. Sometimes she's a little on the nasty side. The best moments come when she's a little on the nasty side. She can make a grown man cry, and watching a grown man cry can make you laugh until you cry.
There aren't many people on TV these days that I consider to be a good role model. Judge Judy is one of the proud few.
 
TWO UNSUNG CARTOON GEMS:
 
THE CRITIC: In this cartoon New York film critic Jay Sherman (Voiced by John Lovitz) is hated by everyone in The Biz because he gives every movie he see a bad review. His catchphrase is "It stinks!" Jay is my hero because, let's face it, most movies do indeed stink!
 
DUCKMAN: Rude, crude, cartoon duck detective voiced by SEINFELD's Jason Alexander.
 
 
MY FANTASY TV SHOWS OF THE FUTURE:
 
My fantasy shows I dream about producing and sometimes even starring in:
 
GET REAL WITH MAMAMIASWEETPEACHES: I'm sure it won't surprise any of you to find out that I'm not a seventeen year old swimsuit model from Sweden. I'm a thirty-something, full figured Queens girl with the hair, teeth, nose and breasts God gave me. A real person. So when ya' come on my show ya' gotta keep it real. This show would be filmed in my basement a la WAYNE'S WORLD. It would be just like my LIVING IN THE PAST website, only a TV show. I would discuss music, movies, TV, videos, do reviews and maybe even have Special Guests come in!
 
Starring: Me.
My Ed McMahon-type Sidekick: My best friend Karl
My House Band: My nephew Phil's band
Dream Guest: Hal Sparks
 
15 MINUTES WITH MAMAMIASWEETPEACHES:  This one is based on the old Andy Warhol philosophy that everyone gets fifteen minutes of fame.
Not a sixty or even a thirty minute show....Just a fifteen minute  segment with me interviewing someone who was once hot but whose fifteen minutes are clearly up.(Think DEXY'S MIDNIGHT RUNNERS)
Admit it ,VH1 and E!, this is a good idea!
And with just fifteen minutes of airtime I don't think I'm asking for much.  I won't even need a theme song or a dressing room.
 
Starring: Me
Sidekick: None
House Band: None
Dream Guests: AHA. HOWARD JONES, MEN WITHOUT HATS
 
M.A.D: MIA AFTER DARK:  I will follow in the noble footsteps of 
Vampira, Elvira and Joe Bob Briggs  and host a Midnight
Horror Movie show.
 
Starring: Me
Sidekick: Karl in a dual role as Renfield and Igor
House Band: GWAR
Dream Guests: Robert Englund, Bruce Campbell, Linda Blair
 
YOU DON'T KNOW ME:  Make sure you use a Southern drawl when you say the title. You know, like those people on THE JERRY SPRINGER SHOW do.
This one can go one of either two ways: Either I can host my own talk show a la THE JERRY SPRINGER SHOW or I can do a clip show a la TALK SOUP.
Unlike SPRINGER though, I would put no restrictions on my guests. When they arrive on the set they would sign forms promising not to sue anybody. Then when the inevitable mayhem breaks out I would let them throw chairs and deck eachother to their hearts content. 
 
This would, of course, spawn the YOU DON'T KNOW ME Drinking Game:  You line up your shot glasses and every time someone on the panel utters the phrase "You don't know me" you have to take a drink.
 
Stars: Me
Sidekick: A big dude for my protection
House Band:  PRODIGY doing "Slap My B*tch Up"
 
AT THE MOVIES WITH ROGER EBERT & MAMAMIA:  I usually don't like Review Shows . Who are they to tell me what I'll like? But I did used to like AT THE MOVIES WITH SISKEL & EBERT. They always sort of reminded me of a gay married couple bickering.
Gene Siskel has since passed on and I'm just not digging the new guy (Roepper). In fact, I'm gunning for his job. 
Roger and I would watch a movie and then fight in the balcony. The only problem I can forsee is that I am a cynical pessimist that would give every movie a bad review. Because of this Roger would probably start giving more forgiving reviews so that every movie didn't get a Thumbs Down and all the movies wouldn't come off as suck-fests.
 
Starring: Roger Ebert
Sidekick: Me
House Band: The music they already use is okay
Special Guest: Sir John Hughes
 
AT THE MOVIES WITH JOE BOB & MAMAMIA:  If Roger Ebert thinks it's beneath him to host the show with a drunken fool like me maybe I can get Joe Bob Briggs to co-host.  Just like SISKEL & EBERT only it's me and Joe Bob reviewing movies, drinking beer and making with the funny. This show would be a hoot!
 
AN HOUR WITH HAL SPARKS: I don't actually star in this one. Hal is the star and he has sixty minutes to do whatever he wants. He could just go through his regular day while I give a Steve Irwin-like commentary on his every move: "Here Hal is reaching for a piece of toast. Isn't he a beauty?!"
 
Stars: Hal Sparks
Sidekick: Me
House Band: Hal, Baby, you can sing whatever you want
First Episode: Hal Sparks Watches Paint Dry
 
I LOVE CAROLYN: My friend Carolyn is totally obsessed with DEF LEPPARD. No f-f-f-foolin'! She's has this Kathy-Bates-in-MISERY crush on Joe Elliott.
We have met DEF LEPPARD together. Most people would meet DEF LEPPARD and be happy and consider themselves blessed and move on. No. Carolyn wants to go to every show, go to every public appearance and do everything she can to try to scheme her way backstage. It's starting to remind me of I LOVE LUCY. That would meake me the "Ethel".
The funny thing is, if Carolyn DID actually get her wish and marry Joe Elliott it would sort of mirror I LOVE LUCY in that it would be the story of a crazy American woman who marrys an attractive bandleader from another country!
 
Joe: No, Carolyn, you can't come out on stage and sing along to Photograph with us.
Carolyn: Ahhhhh....but, Joe...........I wanna be in the shooooooow!
(Next scene has me disguised as a "roadie", carrying Rick Allen's drumset to the stage with Carolyn hidden inside one of the drums)
 
Stars: Carolyn and DEF LEPPARD
Sidekick: Me
House Band: DEF LEPPARD
First Episode:After I steal all Phil's shirts the band gets a restraining order.
 
MY 20 FAVORITE BRADY BUNCH EPISODES:
 
If you don't like THE BRADY BUNCH feel free to skip over this part. I always get a huge kick out of watching THE BRADY BUNCH. That show is so-bad-it's-good in a way that watching it is practically a religious experience for me. It sets off endorphins in my head.
 
#20: A ROOM AT THE TOP: Greg's friend who is already in college asks Greg if he wants to be his roommate. Greg is psyched but Mr. Brady, killjoy, says he wants Greg to live at home crammed in a room with two younger brothers until next year when he leaves for college.  Fast forward and the Bradys are cleaning out their attic. Marcia decides the attic would make a groovy room for her and Mom agrees. Soon Greg gets the same idea  and Dad agrees. Which Brady will get the room?
 
* This idea was used and improved upon by A VERY BRADY SEQUEL. Their solution was to have Greg and Marcia share the room and indulge in sinful incestous thoughts about one another.
 
#19: JAN'S AUNT JENNY: While sifting through boxes of crap in the attic the kids find a picture of Aunt Jenny, who looked just like Jan as a young girl. Jan is psyched. She's going to send Aunt Jenny a picture and find out what Aunt Jenny looks like now assuming that's what she'll look like in the future. Well, Aunt Jenny shows up and the bad news is she looks like Imogene Coca in a fright wig. The good news is she's a fun lovin' gal with none of Jan's f*cked up insecurities!
 
#18: CINDY BRADY, LADY: Cindy has a secret admirer sending her cheap gifts and bad poetry. It's actually Bobby incognito. When Cindy decides she wants to meet her admirer in person Bobby writes a note in which he explains that he can't meet her. Unfortunately, his parents catch him sneaking the letter into the mailbox. While they think it's nice he did this to boost Cindy's self-esteem they also think it's wrong for him to string Cindy along. They decide to leave it up to him to decide how to remedy the situation: He hires a friend to pitch woo at Cindy.
* Check out Cindy's face when she hands the flowers to Alice! What's THAT all about?
* This is one of the many BRADY BUNCH episodes that has an underlying incest current. Bobby writing Cindy love letters. Hmmmmmm.
 
#17: SORRY, RIGHT NUMBER: Tired of six kids tying up the phone Mr Brady gets a payphone installed. Gee, what did THAT cost him?  Did he REALLY save anything?!
Mr Brady was clearly a sadistic architect from Hell that wouldn't spring for putting an extra bathroom in but would pay that little extra to have a payphone put in just so he could teach his kids a mean-spirited lesson.
 
#16: MY FAIR OPPONENT: Marcia brings home gorky, clumsy, unpopular freak Molly. "Poor Molly" Marcia sighs repeatedly.
She gives Molly a makeover turning her into head-turning competition.
ME-OW! A catfight waiting to happen.
 
#15: THE NOT SO UGLY DUCKLING: Jan brings home Clark Tyson, the best looking boy in her class. Clark likes Jan as "one of the guys". Then Marcia walks in and Schwing! 
Jan trys to start a catfight with Marcia but Marcia calmly says "Jan, if boys don't find you attractive, that's not my problem." OUCH!
 
#14: YOU CAN'T WIN 'EM ALL: Cindy is chosen to represent her school on  the Quiz The Kids game show. She turns into a stuck-up snooty pain in the a** who refers to herself as a "television star". Well: Lights, camera, action....And she see's the red light on the television camera  and becomes frozen with paralyzed fear.
"Baton Rouge! Baton Rouge!"
 
#13: 54-40 AND FIGHT: The kids only have enough trading stamps to get one groovy prize. The boys want a row boat (Which, let's face it, they would hardly ever use) and the girls want a sewing machine (So they can raise those hemlines to snatch-bareing new heights!) 
To decide who gets to pick the prize Mr Brady suggests they build a house of cards. Marcia almost knocks it over with a charm bracelet that we've never seen her wear before and we never see her wear again. Tiger the dog runs in and jumps on Peter during his turn and knocks down the house of cards. This sort of means the girls won and get to pick the prize. Instead of getting the sewing machine they so desired the girls decide to get something that the whole family can enjoy and get a groovy color TV.
Gotta love how Mr Brady chirps "Build a house of cards!" like it's a common every day practice!
 
#12: FRIGHT NIGHT: Freakiest .....episode .....of THE BRADY BUNCH ......EVER!
The girls are trying to sleep but they keep hearing strange noises. They look out the window and see.....a ghost! Or at least something that sort of looks like a ghost. Upon further investigation they find stuff in the attic rigged  to make spooky sounds and images outside the window. It's the boys pulling a prank on them.
They decide to get even by dareing the boys to spend a night in the haunted attic. The boys, knowing the attic is not haunted, take the dare.
What the boys don't know is that the girls have rigged up a ghostly visitor themselves. A hidden tape recorder moans (In a voice sort of similar to Marcia's!) "I neeeeeed aiiiiiiir!" and then a trunk in the attic pops open and an eerie plastic drycleaner bag ghost pops out and scares the boys.
Scared me too. I'm pretty sure I soiled myself the first time I saw this episode.
 
#11: THE IMPRACTICAL JOKER: Jan starts getting her jollys playing practical jokes on Alice and family members. Really corny practical jokes. And you just know it's Jan cuz she"s covering her mouth and giggling gorkily. 
One of the boys brings home Myron the mouse for a Science project. Jan steals it and hides it in a wicker hamper. It chews it's way out and scares the crap out of Alice, who calls an exterminator. Now the girls who had hated the vile, disgusting mouse are just about weeping at the premise of him getting exterminated!
But not to worry: Myron's not dead. He's in the doghouse scareing the crap out of Tiger.
 
#10: JULIET IS THE SUN: Marcia is chosen to play Juliet in the school production of ROMEO & JULIET.
She prances around like a prima donna, head expanding, getting ever more obnoxious as the days go by.
To bring her back to Earth Mom has her taken out of the play and Marcia Explodes with rage!
*Jan always got a bad rap as the crazy one, but seek and yee shall find that Marcia has had her share of hissy fits as well!
 
# 9: THE UN-UNDERGROUND MOVIE: The Bradys do porn!
Well, not really. Greg makes a pilgrim movie with them as the stars. All the girls wanna be Priscilla and all the boys wanna be Indians.
 The movie itself is pretty damn funny...... In a corny Brady-type way.
 
# 8: OUR SON,THE MAN: Greg decides he's a groovy man of the world. He wears a headband, John Lennon glasses, a fringed suede vest and a blue polka-dot shirt! Yes, all at the same time!
He wants to make Dad's den his "pad".
Once again, Mr Brady, being a selfish b*stard, has a den to fart around in while everyone else is stuffed into shared bedrooms and a shared bathroom. What a beast!
 
# 7: WHERE THERE'S SMOKE: Greg smokes! And his sisters see him! He swears it was his first time and that it'll never happen again. Then one day he comes home from band practice and cigerettes fall out of his jacket! In front of company! He swears up and down they are not his cigerettes...and they're not...they belong to a friend. And who is the mother of that friend? The woman who was so disgusted when she saw the cigerettes fall out of Greg's pocket!
 
# 6: HAWAII BOUND & PASS THE TABU: Dad takes the family to Hawaii and Bobby finds an evil tiki that puts a hex on the whole family.
 *This is actually a three-part episode,the third part being THE TIKI CAVES, where the boys wander into a cave where they meet Vincent Price! He  kidnaps the boys and ties them to totem poles! It's a little too over the top for me. Me! Now that's sayin' somethin'!
 
# 5: CONFESSIONS, CONFESSIONS: Peter breaks "Mom's favorite vase"....she always says "Don't play ball in the house". Get used to these phrases. You'll hear 'em aplenty in this episode.
The kids do the natural thing and super glue the vase back together. Mr Brady comes home with flowers for Mom (Since when?!) and the kids are on the edge of their seats waiting for the ugly vase to inevitably spring a leak.  To save Peter's a**  (After all, he has a camping trip to go on) each kid says they are the one who broke the vase. This leads to Peter having nightmares of the ball flying down the stairs in slow motion and shattering the vase again and again!
 
# 4: THE SUBJECT WAS NOSES: Marcia breaks a date with a nice boy to go out with hot boy using "Something suddenly came up" as an excuse.
She gets punished by God when a football smashes her dead in the face breaking her nose! Ooooooh, KARMA!
 
# 3: ADIOS, JOHNNY BRAVO: I always love the episodes where they sing. The six Brady kids are auditioning for something or other and the producers only want Greg. He's to be the new Johnny Bravo because the suit fits!
 
# 2: AMATEUR NIGHT: The kids sing. Yay! This time on a TV Talent Show to pay for the silver platter they got Mom and Dad for an anniversary present. Inexplicably. they don't win!
 
# 1: GETTING DAVY JONES: Marcia is on the Prom's Entertainment Committee. She's also president of the Davy Jones Fan Club. Hey, maybe she can get him to sing at the prom! (Now scream and throw your panties!)
 
Well, that's my BRADY BUNCH TOP 20 list. I'm pretty sure none of the Cousin Oliver episodes made it on there.
 
Cousin Oliver: Don't get me started on THAT train wreck!
 
 
 
  
 
 
 


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