|
CELEBRITY NAME
|
WHY THEY ARE FAMOUS
|
| Rowdy” Roddy Piper | Wrestler |
| “Smokin' Joe” Frazier | Former Boxer |
| 50 Cent | We wouldn't give you a quarter |
| A.J. Foyt | Race Car Driver |
| Abe Vigoda | Actor - Fish |
| Abigail Van Buren (Pauline) | Dear Abby |
| Adam Ant | Musician |
| Adam Rich | Former Child Star (Eight is Enough) |
| Adam Sandler | Who Knows |
| Adam West | Actor - Batman |
| Aidan Quinn | Actor |
| Al D'Amato | Politician |
| Al Gore | Presidential Wanna-Be |
| Al Jaffee | MAD Magazine Guy |
| Al Molinaro | Character Actor |
| Al Pacino | Actor |
| Al Roker | Tubby Weather Guy |
| Al Sharpton | Racist |
| Al Unser Jr. | Auto Racer |
| Alan Alda | Actor |
| Alan Dershowitz | Lawyer |
| Alan Greenspan | Money Man |
| Alan Young | Actor, Voice Artist |
| Albert Finney | Actor |
| Alec Baldwin | Actor |
| Alex Trebek | What Is A Goner? |
| Alexander Haig | General and Politicain |
| Ali Khamenei | Some Ayatollah |
| Ali MacGraw | Actress |
| Allen Iverson | Basketball Player |
| Ally Sheedy | Actress |
| Alonzo Mourning | Basketball Player |
| Amy Winehouse | What A Mess |
| Andrew Lloyd Webber | Play Dude |
| Andy Dick | Comedian |
| Andy Griffith | Matlock et al. |
| Andy Richter | Annoying Side Kick to Conan |
| Andy Rooney | Annoying 60 Minutes Guy |
| Andy Williams | Singer |
| Angela Lansbury | Murder We Wish |
| Angie Dickinson | Some Old Broad |
| Anita Bryant | Orange Juice Lady |
| Anjelica Huston | Actress |
| Ann B. Davis | Alice from the Brady Bunch |
| Ann Coulter | Shock Value Broad |
| Ann Rutherford | Actress |
| Anne Heche | Ellen's Former Squeeze |
| Anne Meara | Comedian |
| Anne Rice | Vampire Author |
| Annette Funicello | Peanut Buttery Actress |
| Ann-Margret | Actress |
| Anthony Edwards | Actor |
| Anthony Keidis | Red Hot Chili Pepper |
| Antonin Scalia | Court Dude |
| Aretha Franklin | Singer |
| Arianna Huffington | Political Wanna-Be |
| Ariel Sharon | Israeli Tough Guy |
| Arlen Specter | Senator from PA |
| Arnold Palmer | Golfer |
| Arnold Schwarzenegger | Actor |
| Art Bell | Oh Boy….. |
| Art Garfunkel | Paul Simon Wanna-Be |
| Art Linkletter | Comedian |
| Arte Johnson | Actor |
| Artie Lange | Comedian |
| Ashley Olsen | Half an Annoying Set |
| Ashley Simpson | Talentless Singer |
| Ashton Kutcher | Demi's Pool Boy |
| Axl Rose | Singer from Guns -n- Roses |
| B. B. King | Musician |
| Baby Spice | Annoying Spice Girl |
| Barack Obama | Presidential Candidate |
| Barbara Billingsley | Actress |
| Barbara Bush | Georges Old Lady |
| Barbara Eden | We STILL Dream of Jeannie |
| Barbara Feldon | Agent 99 |
| Barbara Steisand | Very annoying lady |
| Barbara Walters | Broad with Funny Speaking Voice |
| Barry Bonds | Steriod User |
| Barry Bostwick | Actor |
| Beck | Musician |
| Ben Affleck | Actor |
| Ben Gazzara | Actor |
| Ben Stein | Lawyer, economist, law professor, actor & comedian |
| Ben Vereen | Actor |
| Benjamin Netanyahu | Politician - Israel |
| Bernard Shaw | News Guy |
| Bernie Ebbers | Sell that Worldcom Kiddies |
| Bernie Madoff | Prick |
| Bernie Taupin | Wrote Songs with Elton John |
| Bette Midler | Almost as Annoying as Striesand |
| Betty Ford | Gerald's Wife |
| Betty White | Golden Gal |
| Bill Bradley | Politician |
| Bill Clinton | Got Oral From Intern |
| Bill Cosby | Jello Pudding Guy |
| Bill Daily | Actor |
| Bill Gates | Ya Know |
| Bill Keane | Family Circus Cartoonist |
| Bill Murray | Actor |
| Bill O'Reilly | Blowhard |
| Bill Parcells | Football Coach |
| Billie Jean King | Tennis Great |
| Billy Bob Thornton | Sling Blade guy |
| Billy Corgan | Musician |
| Billy Graham | Evangelist |
| Billy Idol | Singer |
| Billy Joel | Pianoham |
| Birgit Nilsson | Actress |
| Blake Edwards | Writer, Director |
| Bob Barker | Game Show Fur Activist |
| Bob Dole | Politician |
| Bob Dylan | Singer |
| Bob Eubanks | Newlywed Host |
| Bob Feller | Baseball Hall of Famer |
| Bob Guccione | Porno Dude |
| Bob Newhart | Actor |
| Bobby Brown | Singer |
| Bobby Knight | Nutty Basketball Coach |
| Bobcat Goldthwait | Comedian |
| Bonnie Raitt | Singer |
| Bono | Singer |
| Boomer Esiason | Football Player |
| Boutros Boutros-Ghali | Former UN Guy |
| Boy George | Exactly! |
| Brad Pitt | Actor |
| Brenda Vaccaro | Actress |
| Brett Butler | She-man |
| Brian Dennehy | Actor |
| Brian Wilson | Beach Boy |
| Britney Spears | Train Wreck |
| Brother Theodore | Actor |
| Bruce Dern | Actor |
| Buck Henry | Writer/comedian |
| Burt Bacharach | Singer and Songwriter |
| Burt Reynolds | Actor |
| Buzz Aldrin | Astronaut |
| C. Everett Koop | Former Surgeon General |
| Calista Flockhart | Thin Actress |
| Calvin Klein | Clothes Guy |
| Cameron Diaz | Actress |
| Camilla Parker-Bowles | Chuck's Squeeze |
| Candice Bergen | Actress |
| Captain Beefheart | Musician |
| Carl Reiner | Writer/Actor |
| Carl Yastrzemski | Baseball Player |
| Carlos Santana | Musician |
| Carly Simon | Singer |
| Carmen Electra | Star F-er |
| Carol Burnett | Comedian |
| Carol Channing | Weird Looking Actress |
| Carrot Top | Why Indeed |
| Casey Kasem | Voice of Shaggy |
| Celeste Holm | Actress |
| Charles Barkley | Basketball Player |
| Charles Durning | Actor |
| Charles Manson | Nutcase |
| Charles Osgood | Commentator |
| Charlie Daniels | Country Singer |
| Charlie Sheen | Actor |
| Charlie Watts | Rolling Stone |
| Charlotte Rae | Facts of Life Gal |
| Charo | Two reasons… |
| Cher | Scary |
| Chevy Chase | Comedian |
| Chris Rock | Comedian |
| Christian Slater | Actor, Dope Head |
| Christopher Lee | Actor |
| Christopher Lloyd | Actor- Rev. Jim |
| Christopher Plummer | Actor |
| Christopher Walken | Scary Actor |
| Chuck Barris | Gong Show Guy/Secret Agent |
| Chuck Berry | Rock - N - Roller |
| Chuck Norris | Ass Kicker |
| Chuck Woolery | Game Show Host |
| Chuck Yeager | Pilot |
| Chyna | Wacky Wrestling Chick |
| Cicely Tyson | Actress |
| Cindy Adams | Annoying |
| Clarence Thomas | Justice |
| Claudia Schiffer | Hottie |
| Clay Aiken | Man Americans Can Be Dumb |
| Clint Eastwood | "Make My Day" |
| Colin Powell | General |
| Conan O'Brien | Late Night Host |
| Condoleezza Rice | Secretary of State |
| Conrad Bain | Dif'rent Stroke ? |
| Corey Feldman | Kid Actor |
| Courtney Love | Hole |
| Dabney Coleman | Actor |
| Daisy Fuentes | Very Annoying Cutie |
| Dakota Fanning | Kid Actress |
| Dan Aykroyd | Actor |
| Dan Quayle | Potatoe Speller |
| Dan Rather | News Guy |
| Dan Rostenkowski | Scandaled Poltico |
| Danica Patrick | Racing Chick |
| Daniel Baldwin | The Wacky Baldwin |
| Danny Aiello | Actor |
| Danny Bonaduce | Radio Personality/Former Partridge |
| Danny DeVito | Actor |
| Danny Glover | Actor |
| Darryl Strawberry | Baseball Player |
| Dave Barry | Writer |
| Dave Brubeck | Musician |
| Dave Navarro | Guitarist |
| Davey Johnson | Former Met's Manager |
| David Arquette | Annoying |
| David Beckham | English Soccer Star |
| David Blaine | Magician |
| David Bowie | Musician |
| David Copperfield | Magician |
| David Crosby | Singer |
| David Duke | Whitey |
| David Hasselhoff | The Chicks, That's Why |
| David Lee Roth | Mr. Hollywood |
| David Letterman | Late Show Host |
| David Oreck | Makes a Product that Sucks |
| David Prowse | Darth Vader |
| David Rockefeller | Rich Guy's Brother |
| David Schwimmer | Dick |
| David Spade | Comedian |
| Dean Stockwell | Actor |
| Debbie Reynolds | Actress |
| Della Reese | Touched By An Angel (perhaps soon) |
| Dennis DeYoung | Man, Styx sucked |
| Dennis Hastert | Former Speaker of the House |
| Dennis Hopper | Actor |
| Dennis Miller | Why Indeed |
| Dennis Rodman | Basketball Player |
| Dennis Weaver | Actor |
| Desmond Tutu | South African Religous Leader |
| Diahann Carroll | Actress |
| Diana Ross | Singer |
| Dick Cavett | Some Guy |
| Dick Cheney | Politician |
| Dick Clark | Very Old Teenager |
| Dick Gregory | Activist/Speaker/Humorist |
| Dick Smothers | Some Guys Brother |
| Dick Van Dyke | Actor/Comedian |
| Dick Van Patten | Eight is Enough Dad |
| Dino De Laurentiis | Director |
| Dion | Singer |
| Dion Warwick | Psychic |
| Doc Severinsen | Band Leader |
| Dolly Parton | Two Great Ladies |
| Dolores Hope | Bob's Gal |
| Dom Deluise | Fat Comedian |
| Don Cornelius | Soul Train |
| Don Johnson | Actor |
| Don King | Promoter |
| Don Pardo | TV Announcer |
| Don Rickles | Comedian |
| Donald Rumsfeld | Something about Defense |
| Donald Sutherland | Actor |
| Donald Trump | Rich Kid |
| Donny Osmond | He's a Little Bit Loser |
| Doris Day | Actress |
| Dorothy Letterman | David's Mom |
| Doyle Brunson | Poker Player |
| Dr. Phil McGraw | Shut the F up Dr. Phil |
| Drew Barrymore | Actress |
| Drew Carey | Comedian |
| Dustin Hoffman | Actor |
| Dwight Gooden | Baseball Player |
| Earl Scruggs | Banjo Player |
| Ed Asner | Shut up, would ya |
| Ed Koch | Former NYC Mayor |
| Ed McMahon | Johnny's Lap Dog |
| Eddie Fisher | Actor and Singer |
| Eddie Van Halen | Man, He Got Valerie |
| Edie Adams | Ernie Kivac's Old Lady |
| Efrem Zimbalist Jr. | What a Dumb Name |
| Ehud Barak | Isreali Prime Minister |
| Eli Wallach | Actor |
| Elie Wiesel | Heads Holocaust Memorial Foundation |
| Elizabeth Taylor | Wacky Actress |
| Elton John | Goodbye Yellow Brick Road |
| Emeril Lagasse | Chef |
| Eminem | White Rapper |
| Emmanuel Lewis | Webster |
| Ernest Borgnine | Actor |
| Esther Williams | Wet Actress |
| Ethan Hawke | Actor |
| Ethel Kennedy | Another Kennedy |
| Etta James | Singer |
| Eunice Kennedy-Shriver | Old Kennedy |
| Eva Marie Saint | Actress |
| F.W. DeKlerk | Former Pres. Of South Africa |
| Fatboy Slim | Right About Now…. |
| Fats Domino | Singer |
| Fay Wray | Actress - Grey Wray |
| Fess Parker | Actor |
| Fidel Castro | Made Convertable Bed? |
| Fiona Apple | Singer |
| Francis Ford Coppola | Some Movie Guy |
| Frank Gifford | Cathy Lee's Bitch |
| Frankie Valli | Singer |
| Garrett Morris | Comedian |
| Garry Marshall | Can You Say '70s Sitcoms |
| Gary Coleman | What You Talkin' 'Bout Willis? |
| Gene Barry | Actor |
| Gene Wilder | Willy Wonka |
| George Bush Sr. | Ex-President-Read Blue Lips |
| George Clinton | Funkmaster |
| George Clooney | Actor |
| George Jones | Musician |
| George Kennedy | Actor |
| George Lindsey | Goober |
| George Martin | Beatles Producer |
| George McGovern | Politician |
| George Segal | Actor |
| George Shultz | Politico |
| George Soros | Rich Guy |
| George Steinbrenner | Yankee Dude |
| George W. Bush | President of US |
| George Wendt | Norm! |
| Geraldine Ferraro | Politician |
| Gina Lollobrigida | Actress |
| Ginger Lynn | A VERY nice girl |
| Glen Campell | Singer |
| Gloria Stuart | Actress |
| Gloria Vanderbilt | Fashion Designer |
| Goldie Hawn | Actress |
| Gordie Howe | Hockey Player |
| Gordon Lightfoot | Singer |
| Gore Vidal | Author |
| Grace Slick | Don't You Want Somebody To Die |
| Greg Louganis | Diver |
| Hal Holbrook | Actor |
| Hamed Karzai | Afghan Leader |
| Hank Aaron | Baseball Legend |
| Harry Dean Stanton | Actor |
| Harry Morgan | Wife Beater |
| Harry Reid | Senator from Nevada |
| Harvey Weinstien | Miramax Chief |
| Helen Gurley-Brown | Wild Broad |
| Helen Thomas | Journalist |
| Henry Heimlich | Uh, The Manouvre |
| Henry Kissenger | Talks Funny |
| Henry Paulson | Brother Can You Spare A Dime? |
| Henry Winkler | The Fonz |
| Herman Wouk | Author |
| Hosni Mubarak | President of Eygpt |
| Howard Hessman | Johnny Fever |
| Howard Stern | Radio Guy |
| Hugh Downs | Old News Guy |
| Hugh Hefner | Matt's Idol |
| Hugo Chavez | President of Venezuela |
| Hulk Hogan | Wrestler |
| Iggy Pop | Musician |
| Irwin Corey | “Professor” |
| J.D. Salinger | A Catcher in the Rye |
| Jack Kevorkian | Dr. Dead |
| Jack Klugman | Actor Pull the Plug-man |
| Jack LaLanne | Physical Fitness Guru |
| Jack Nicholson | Actor |
| Jack Nicklaus | Golfer |
| Jack Osbourne | Ozzy's Boy |
| Jack Warden | Actor |
| Jackie Cooper | Funny Guy |
| Jacques Chirac | Something About Anti-Ameicanism |
| Jake LaMotta | Boxer |
| James Arness | Actor |
| James Brolin | Blinders And Ear Plugs Ma'man |
| James Brown | Say Heh! Shamalama! Get on Up! |
| James Caan | Actor |
| James Earl Jones | Voice |
| James Garner | Actor |
| James Lipton | “Inside the Actor's Studio” Dude |
| Jan Michael Vincent | Messed-up Actor |
| Jane Goodall | Chimp Researcher |
| Jane Russell | Actress |
| Jason Priestly | Actor, Drinker |
| Jay Z | Rapper |
| Jayne Meadows | Actress |
| Jean Stapleton | Actress |
| Jeff Gordon | NASCAR Pretty Boy |
| Jenna Jamieson | Hubb Hubba - Eww |
| Jennifer Lopez | Uh, Her Ass Dude |
| Jerry Lee Lewis | Cradle Robber |
| Jerry Lewis | Dean's Ex-Partner |
| Jerry Stiller | Comedian/Actor |
| Jesse Jackson | Racist |
| Jessica Simpson | Annoying Teen Singer |
| Jim Bakker | Tammy's former squeeze |
| Jim Nabors | Gomer Pyle |
| Jimmie Walker | DynOmite |
| Jimmy Carter | Ex President |
| Jimmy Swaggart | TV Preacher Guy |
| Joan Fontaine | Actress |
| Joan Rivers | Comedian |
| Joan VanArk | Actress |
| Joaquin Phoenix | Actor |
| Joe Eszterhas | Writes Bad Movies |
| Joe Franklin | TV Interview Show Host |
| Joe Garagiola | Baseball Player |
| Joe Namath | Football Great |
| Joe Namath | Brady Bunch Cameo |
| Joe Paterno | Penn State Football Coach |
| Joe Piscopo | Comedian? |
| Joel Gray | Actor |
| Joey Butafucco | Loser |
| John Carpenter | They DIE too John |
| John Demjanjuk | Nazi |
| John Forsythe | Actor |
| John Glenn | Astronaut |
| John Goodman | Fat Actor |
| John Kerry | War Hero? |
| John Madden | Turkey Eater |
| John Mahoney | Played Fraiser's Dad |
| John McCain | Wannabe |
| John Paul Stevens | Supreme Court Justice |
| John Travolta | Actor |
| John Walker Lindh | Traitor |
| John Wayne Gacy | Sick Man |
| Johnny Mathis | Chances are….. |
| Jonathan Winters | Very Funny Nut Job |
| Joseph Lieberman | Little Mensch |
| Joseph Wapner | Judge Wapner |
| Joyce Randolph | Actress |
| Julia Roberts | Annoying Broad |
| Julie Andrews | Actress |
| Julie Newmar | 9th Life and Counting |
| Julius Irving | Dr. J Needs a Doctor? |
| June Allyson | Actress |
| June Havoc | Actress |
| June Lockhart | Actress |
| Junior Johnson | NASCAR Icon |
| Karl Rove | Not the world's nicest guy |
| Kate Moss | Chickee Pooh |
| Kathleen Turner | Actress |
| Keith Richards | Rock & Roll Pharmacist |
| Kelly Osbourne | Ozzy's Litte Princess (of Darkness) |
| Kelsey Grammer | Fraizer Crane |
| Kenny Baker | R2D2 |
| Kevin Federline | Tapped Britney Spears |
| Kim Jong Il | He's a Little Kooky |
| Kim Novak | Actress |
| Kirk Douglas | Actor |
| Kirstie Alley | Actress? |
| Lara Flynn Boyle | Actress |
| Larry Flynt | Okay, Maybe This is Matt's Idol |
| Larry Hagman | JR Did Shots |
| Larry King | Old Fart |
| Larry Storch | Actor |
| Latrell Sprewell | Punched Coach |
| Lauren Bacall | Actress - Bogie's Hoagie |
| Lee Majors | Six Million Dollar Man |
| Leif Garrett | Teen Heart Throb |
| Lena Horne | Singer |
| Leonard Nimoy | Spock |
| Leonardo DiCaprio | Actor? |
| Les Paul | Guitar Guy |
| Leslie Nielson | Actor |
| Lil Wayne | Rapper |
| Linda Lavin | Alice |
| Lindsay Lohan | Skank |
| Little Richard | Musician |
| Liza Minnelli | Friend of Sinatra |
| Loretta Lynn | Singer/Crystal Gayle's Sister |
| Lou Ferrigno | What? Huh? I'm getting angry! |
| Louie Anderson | We Think He Ate Andy Kaufman |
| Louis Farrakahn | Racist |
| Lyndon LaRouche | Doesn't He Always Run For Pres.? |
| Macaulay Culkin | Kid Actor, Has Been |
| Magic Johnson | Well, at the very least a busy Johnson |
| Margaret Thatcher | Former Prime Minister of Great Britain |
| Margot Kidder | Actress/Nut Job |
| Maria Shriver | Gives it up for Arnold |
| Mariah Carey | Pop Diva |
| Marianne Faithful | Singer |
| Mariette Hartley | Actress |
| Marilyn Manson | Singer |
| Marion “Suge” Knight | Rapper |
| Marion Barry | Crackhead/Politician |
| Martin Landau | Guy from Space 1999 |
| Martin Mull | Comedian |
| Martin Sheen | Actor |
| Marty Allen | Comic |
| Mary Higgins Clark | Author |
| Mary Kate Olsen | Half an Annoying Set |
| Mary Travers | Some Hippie Chick |
| Mary Tyler Moore | Actress |
| Matt Groening | The Simpsons |
| Matthew Perry | Friend of Pills |
| Maureen O'Hara | Actress |
| Maximilian Schell | Actor |
| Maya Angelou | Poet, We Guess |
| Meadowlark Lemon | Globetrotter (Not Jack's Brother) |
| Meatloaf | Who knows |
| Meinhardt Raabe | Munchkin (not Dunkin') |
| Mel Brooks | Comedian/Actor |
| Mel Stottlemyre | Baseball Player |
| Melissa Etheridge | Musician |
| Merle Haggard | Country Music Guy |
| Meryl Streep | Actress |
| Michael Caine | Actor |
| Michael J. Fox | Actor |
| Michael Jackson | Singer Who Loves Kids (alot) |
| Michael Moore | Did He Do “Super Size it?” |
| Michael Moriarty | Actor |
| Mick Fleetwood | Musician |
| Mick Jagger | The Stones |
| Mickey Rooney | Short Actor |
| Mickey Rourke | Actor |
| Mickey Spillane | Mike Hammer guy |
| Mike Ditka | Iron Mike, Football Coach |
| Mike Lookinland | Bobby Brady |
| Mike Tyson | Ear Eater |
| Mike Wallace | 60 Minutes dude |
| Mikhail Gorbachev | Former Ruskie Leader |
| Mischa Barton | Actress |
| Mitch Miller | Sing Along King |
| Mitzi Gaynor | Actress |
| Monica Lewinsky | Felator |
| Montel Williams | Talk Show Host |
| Monty Hall | “Let's Make A Deal” Dude |
| Morgan Freeman | Actor |
| Morley Safer | “60 Minutes” Dude |
| Mother Angelica | Some lady with a habit |
| Mr. T | Actor - I Pity the Pool |
| Muammar Qadhafi | Trainer of Terrorists |
| Muhammad Ali | Boxer |
| Nancy Reagan | Ron's Wife |
| Nancy Sinatra | Frank's Little Gal |
| Nanette Fabray | Actress |
| Naomi Judd | Singer |
| Natalie Cole | Nat King Cole's Little Girl |
| Natalie Maines | A Dixie Chick |
| Neil Armstrong | Something About the Moon |
| Neil Simon | Playwright |
| Nelson Mandela | Fella in Dashiki |
| Newt Gingrich | Former Speaker of the House |
| Nick Nolte | A Very Troubled Guy |
| Nicole Richie | Lionel's Daughter, Paris' Pal |
| Nipsey Russell | Comedian |
| Noam Chomsky | Anarchist |
| Norman Lear | TV Producer |
| Norman Schwarzkopf | Killer |
| Norman Wisdom | English Actor and Comedian |
| O. J. Simpson | Murderer |
| Oliver Stone | Director |
| Olivia de Havilland | Actress |
| Olivia Newton-John | Singer |
| Olympia Dukakis | Actress |
| Oprah Winfrey | Talk Show Host |
| Oral Roberts | Preacher |
| Osama Bin Laden | Nasty ass |
| Oscar de la Hoya | In the clearing lies a boxer |
| Owen Wilson | Blonde Actor |
| Ozzy Osbourne | Singer |
| Pam Grier | Actress |
| Pamela Anderson | Two Reasons Really |
| Paris Hilton | Chick who's hard to see in that online video |
| Pat Buchanan | Politician |
| Pat Harrington | One Day At a Time |
| Pat Robertson | Religious Dude |
| Pat Summerall | Football guy/TV Announcer |
| Patricia Anne Priest | Actress |
| Patricia Neal | Actress |
| Patrick Macnee | Actor |
| Patrick Stewart | Actor |
| Patti Page | 50's Singer |
| Patty Andrews | An Andrews Sister |
| Paul Harvey | Radio Guy |
| Paul Hogan | G'bye Mate |
| Paul McCartney | He was in some band |
| Paul Prudhomme | Chef |
| Paul Reubens | Pee Wee |
| Paul Shaffer | Band Leader |
| Paul Simon (short singer) | Musician |
| Paula Abdul | Singer and Dancer |
| Pauly Shore | Dumbass |
| Peggy Fleming | Skater |
| Penn Jillette | Teller's Pal |
| Penny Marshall | Actress |
| Pernell Roberts | Actor |
| Pervez Musharraf | Ask George W. Bush (Pakistaini Leader) |
| Pete Best | A Former Beatle (pre-Ringo) |
| Pete Doherty | Rocker |
| Pete Rose | Anyone Wanna Bet? |
| Pete Seeger | Musicain |
| Pete Townsend | The Who |
| Peter Falk | Actor |
| Peter Fonda | Actor |
| Peter Gabriel | Musician |
| Peter Graves | Actor |
| Peter Jennings | News Guy |
| Peter O'Toole | Actor |
| Phil Donahue | Talk Show Host |
| Phyllis Diller | Comedian |
| Pierre Cardin | Designer |
| Polly Holliday | Kiss My Grits |
| Pope Benedict XVI | The Pope |
| Prince | Formerly Known as Silly |
| Prince Albert | In a Can |
| Prince Charles | Funny Looking Fella |
| Prince Harry | The fella formerly known as…? |
| Prince William | Little Punk |
| Princess Anne | A Royal Pain in the…. |
| Queen Elizabeth II | Queen of England |
| Quentin Tarantino | Director |
| Quincy Jones | Musician/Producer |
| Rachel Ray | Antipasto Anti-Christ |
| Racquel Welch | Former Bombshell |
| Ralph Nader | Spoiler |
| Ravi Shankar | Plays Sitar |
| Ray Bradbury | Author |
| Ray Davies | A Kink |
| Ray Harryhausen | Perhaps the Greatest Special FX Guy Ever |
| Red Buttons | Comedian |
| Reggie Jackson | Baseball Player |
| Reggie Jackson | Ball Player |
| Regis Philbin | Host |
| Reverand Sun Myung Moon | Moonie Guy |
| Rex Reed | Critic |
| Rich Little | Impressionist |
| Richard Attenborough | Actor |
| Richard Chamberlin | Actor |
| Richard Dawson | Actor/Game Show Host |
| Richard Dreyfuss | Actor |
| Richard Kiel | Jaws |
| Richard Petty | Former NASCAR Racer |
| Richard Simmons | Strange Little Man |
| Rick James | Super Freak |
| Ricki Lake | Former Water's Star |
| Ricky Martin | Dyin' La Morte Loco |
| Ringo Starr | Beatle |
| Rip Taylor | Comedian |
| Rip Torn | Actor |
| Rita Moreno | Actress |
| Rob Halford | Judas Preist Lead Man |
| Rob Sneider | Comedian |
| Robert Blake | Actor |
| Robert Bork | Supreme Court Nomination |
| Robert Byrd | Former Klansman |
| Robert Conrad | Actor |
| Robert De Niro | Actor |
| Robert Downey Jr. | Smack fiend |
| Robert Guillaume | Actor - Benson |
| Robert Klein | Comedian |
| Robert Mugabe | Not a Real Nice Person |
| Robert Novak | Pundint |
| Robert Redford | Actor |
| Robin Quivers | Howard's Sidekick |
| Robin Williams | Nanu Nanu |
| Rod Blagojevich | Nim-Rod |
| Rod Stewart | Tonight's The Night |
| Rodney Dangerfield | Comedian |
| Roger Clinton | The One that Didn't Get Oral |
| Roger Ebert | Critic |
| Roger Moore | Actor |
| Roman Polanski | Some Like 'Em Young |
| Ron Jeremy | Porn Guy |
| Ron Reagan (ex-Prez' kid) | Ronald's Boy |
| Ron Wood | Stones |
| Ronald Isley | An Isley Brother |
| Ronnie Biggs | Great Train Robber |
| Rosalynn Carter | Jimmy's Squeeze |
| Rose Marie | Actress/Comedian |
| Roseanne Barr | Load |
| Rosie O'Donnell | Why Why Why |
| Ross Perot | Guy With Charts |
| Roy Clark | Musician |
| Roy Disney | Walt's Nephew |
| Roy Horn | Sigfried's Boy |
| Ruben Stoddard | Sandwich! Solvent! But Celebrity? |
| Rubin “The Hurricane” Carter | 'Cause of the Movie |
| Ruby Dee | Actress |
| Rudy Guliani | NYC Mayor |
| Rue McClanahan | Actress |
| Rupert Murdoch | Owns lots |
| Rush Limbaugh | Radio Guy |
| Russell Johnson | The Professor |
| Ruth Bader Ginsburg | Judge |
| Ruth Buzzi | Actress/Comedian |
| Ruth Westheimer | Sex Gal |
| Ryan O'Neal | Tatum's Dad |
| Sally Kirkland | Actress |
| Sally Struthers | Actress |
| Salma Hayek | Actress |
| Salman Rushdie | Author |
| Sam Donaldson | News Guy |
| Sam Elliot | Actor |
| Sam Waterston | Actor |
| Sammy “The Bull” Gravano | Snitch |
| Sandra Day O'Connor | Justice |
| Sandy Koufax | Baseball Player |
| Sarah Brady | Gun Control Advocate |
| Sargent Shriver | Married a Kennedy |
| Scott Hamilton | Ice Skater |
| Scott Peterson | What a Pud |
| Scott Weiland | Stoned Temple Pilot |
| Sean “Puffy” Combs | Rapper, Producer |
| Sean Connery | Actor |
| Sean Hannity | Radio/TV Talker |
| Sean Lennon | John's son |
| Sean Young | Actress |
| Shannon Doherty | Actress |
| Shaquille O'Neal | Basketball Player |
| Sharon Osbourne | Married Undead, Made TV Show |
| Sharon Stone | Spread Legs Once (or more) |
| Sheikh Omar Abdel-Rahman | Blind Terrorist (oops, we mean cleric) |
| Sherman Hemsley | George Jefferson |
| Sherwood Schwartz | Producer |
| Shirley Jones | Mrs. Partridge |
| Shirley MacLaine | Loopy |
| Shirley Temple Black | Child Actress |
| Sid Caesar | Comedian |
| Sidney Poitier | Actor |
| Slash | Guns N Roses dude |
| Sly Stone | Die To The Music |
| Smokey Robinson | Vocalist |
| Snoop Doggy Dogg | Rapper |
| Sophia Loren | Actress |
| Soupy Sales | Bad Comedian |
| Sparky Anderson | Baseball Player |
| Stan Lee | Comic Book Legend |
| Stan Musial | Baseball Player, Stan-the-Man |
| Star Jones | Chick from The View |
| Stephen Glover | Steve-o from “jackass” |
| Stephen Hawking | Smart Guy |
| Stephen King | Why Indeed |
| Stephen Stills | It's Getting To The Point…. |
| Steve Jobs | Apple |
| Steve Martin | Comedian |
| Steve Perry | We Hate Journey |
| Steven Seagal | Tubby Karate Guy |
| Steven Spielberg | Director |
| Steven Tyler | Singer |
| Stevie Nicks | Beefy Singer |
| Sting | Former Member of the Police |
| Stockard Channing | Actress |
| Stone Cold Steve Austin | Wrestler |
| Susan Dey | Actress |
| Susan Sarandon | Actress |
| Suzanne Somers | Hottie |
| Tariq Aziz | Some Baathist |
| Tawny Kitaen | Some Strung Out Broad |
| Ted Kaczynski | Unabomber |
| Ted Koppel | News Guy |
| Ted Nugent | Rocker & Hunter |
| Ted Turner | Media Magnate |
| Teresa Heinz Kerry | Looney Broad |
| Teri Garr | Actress |
| Terrell Owens | Guy With Some Issues |
| Terry Bradshaw | Football Guy |
| Terry Jones | Member of Monty Python |
| The Dalai Lama | Guy in Robe |
| The Olsen Twins (both) | Annoying kids |
| Thomas Dolby | Inventor/Musician |
| Tim Conway | Comedian |
| Tim Curry | Actor |
| Tim Robbins | Actor |
| Timothy Hutton | Has Been |
| Tina Louise | Ginger |
| Tina Turner | Singer |
| Tipper Gore | Tubby Gal Who Doesn't like Certain Music |
| Tobey McGuire | One Trick Pony |
| Todd Bridges | Differ'nt Tokes |
| Tom Arnold | Who Knows |
| Tom Bosley | Actor |
| Tom Cruise | Actor |
| Tom DeLay | Congressman |
| Tom Green | Comedian |
| Tom Jones | Singer |
| Tom Selleck | Actor |
| Tom Sizemore | Actor With Some Issues |
| Tommy Chong | Comedian |
| Tommy Hilfiger | Teen Clothier |
| Tommy Lasorda | Hefty Baseball Coach |
| Tommy Lee | Musician |
| Tommy Lee Jones | Actor |
| Tommy Smothers | Some Guys Brother |
| Toni Morrison | Author |
| Tony Bennett | Singer |
| Tony Blair | Some Brit |
| Tony Curtis | Actor-Some Like It Cold, Very Cold |
| Tony Danza | Actor |
| Tony Martin | Late Big Band Era Singer |
| Tuesday Weld | Actress |
| Tyra Banks | Yes, Just Another Pretty Face |
| Ursula Andress | Actress |
| Valerie Harper | Actress |
Actor
| Van Morrison | Singer |
| Vanessa Redgrave | Actress |
| Verne Troyer | Mini-Me |
| Vic Damone | Singer |
| Vincent D'Onofrio | Actor |
| Vladimir Putin | Russian Politician |
| Walter Cronkite | News Guy |
| Walter Mondale | Vice President |
| Wavy Gravy | Hippie |
| Weird Al Yankovic | Musician |
| Wesley Snipes | Actor |
| Whitey Ford | Baseball Player |
| Whitney Houston | Looney gal |
| Whoopi Goldberg | Comedian |
| Wilford Brimley | Actor |
| William “Refrigerator” Perry | Big Dude |
| William Shatner | Kirk |
| Willie Mays | Say Hey |
| Willie Nelson | Singer |
| Wink Martindale | Game Show Host |
| Winona Ryder | Thief |
| Wolfgang Puck | Chef |
| Woody Allen | Director/Writer/Dick |
| Woody Harrelson | Actor - Hemp Guy |
| Xaviera Hollander | Happy Hooker |
| Yanni | New Age Musician |
| Yasmine Bleeth | Baywatch Life Guard |
| Yitzhak Shamir | Former Prime Minister of Israel |
| Yogi Berra | Boo Boo's Pal |
| Yoko Ono | Leach |
| Zamfir | Pan Flutist |
| Zelda Rubinstein | From Poltergeist |
| Zsa Zsa Gabor | Actress |