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DANGER Will Robinson!  Slacker # has arrived.
Just ignore them and they'll go away.  And for God's sake don't feed them.

HAL 9000
hal9000.jpg
This mission is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it.

Welcome to the fast paced world of data processing.
 
 
... <insert video of lights flashing and tapes spinning> ...
 
 

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CMS DB2 DBA's

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Wednesday, March 29, 2006

The IT Department presents “The Producers”
Our IT department is proud to present a modern day retelling of the hit Broadway musical “The Producers”.  In our story Max Bialystock, played by our Workload Manager, sells “shares” of our processing capacity to unsuspecting Applications who are just trying to get their work done.  Follow along as Payroll gets 50%, Accounts Payable 75%, Billing 80%, and of course the Vendor and Parts systems get 100% EACH.  Join the uproarious laughter when Max says “I'm condemned by a user community that demands success when all I can offer is failure!”
 
“...a laugh a minute riot … I laughed till I cried, or was it the other way around?”  Your Daily Operator
 
“the customer’s are RAVING … it's OUTRAGEOUS ..."  The User Review
 
The first 200 programs each day are eligible to purchase limited edition “Commemorative MIPS” in blocks of 25% each. Don’t wait, submit early.
6:08 am est

Wednesday, March 1, 2006

The Matrix Reloaded

Mr. Smith: Our developers need full access to the production data base so that we can do problem diagnosis.  Since we’ve been unable to correct our problems in Development, Test, Integration, and Validation, there must be something different about Production.

Neo: Well Smitty, as is the case with most shops here in the real world, the Production environment is just like all the others with the exception of having more processing resources available to it.  What this means for your application is that your programs screw up your data faster.

9:47 pm est


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