Depending on your outlook, 8 could mean the number of goals we scored in each of our last two games, or the number of players Mantua had available for this past weeks game. Before moving on, I'd like to finish up some leftover observations from last week. Let it be known that Vic did make a number of saves after coming back from a painful back injury. Thank you Vic. ( even though you did look like Liberace on the PK shot) Let it also be known that for the fifth straight week, Will did not allow a goal. Nice going Will. I would like to thank Doug's wife for buying him the new riding mower. If anyone noticed, the fields were trimmed nicely this week. Unfortunately, due to the mower expense, Doug had to skimp on the field paint, as witnesed by the very thin lines. On a side note, Doug's ankle is healing nicely and he should be out of Acorra in 10 weeks or when his Thorizine prescription runs out. Finally. No, Hainesport East is not a new residential developement. It refers to the new hospital wing where most of our roster, has, and is spending time recently.

 

       On an exceptionally hot day in Spring, Mantua had the misfortune of showing up with 10 players. Once more the scoreboard is not a true reflection of how the game was played. With exhaustion closing in, the men in white put up a valiant effort and fought hard for each ball to the end of the game. Unfortunately for them, Dan the Man, aka, Speed Racer, the Flash, the Man with the Golden Foot/Head was not to be denied. Where does one begin to mention the many awards that should be bestowed upon this phenom. When this man finds the field, he is bound and determined to find the net! Superlatives are meaningless, metaphors worthless when describing the magic known simply as Dan. With the grace of a gazelle and the force of a falling redwood tree, Dan saw the ball crossing the crease with his hawk-like eyes and fell to his knees in a golden arch and placed an arrowesque shot on goal with the apex of his crown. At that point, it seemed like time itself came to a standstill. You could hear people clapping from miles away. The shot was played over and over,  what seemed like 1,000,000 times, on Corollo's 23" widescreen TVs. As Dan scored his second goal with the daft performance of a Mike Tyson punch combined with the elegance of a Barishnokov pliet (Hey, work with me here) the ball rocketed off the back post and into the net. As I left the field that day, I couln't help feeling I witnessed something special. It was like all humanity lifted themselves up in one voice and said, " I can now die in peace, because nothing will ever top this momentus occasion". Unfortunately, that feeling quickly dissapated when, after a very questionable slide tackle, Jim went off on an obsenity laced speech describing how he felt at that moment.

 

   There were some other facinating things to report. Billy M served up an unusual shot which can best be described as a breast shot. The results looked uncannily( is there such a word?) like Mike's breakaway shot against Laurel Springs. You know, the one that hit their player's bench. Chris had a shot that looked somewhat hmmmmm. Well he did follow up with a nice effort to force a PK on which he scored. Jim asked for the video so that Ron may benefit from the technique. John and Timmy were seen not yelling at the referee, unfortunately we have no video to substantiate that claim. VW was back in the game and back in the scoring column. Good to see both. Although Ron did not score, he set up a lot of nice goals. None of which will get him any credit in the stats book. Before finishing, I would like to say thanks to Captain Bill for once more getting us started in the scoring column, but more so for the thankless job of putting all the 35 and over BOYS on the field. Having said that, Bill says I should expect to see more PT the rest of the season. Next week Deptford. Big game for possible first place finish, at least for one week. Be there. Oh Brad, you thought I forgot all about you. Well I didn't. I have a great video of you falling flat on your face scoring the clinching 8th goal. Hope to have all photos and video out shortly. Heal up everyone and see you next week. PS I'd fall on my face 40 times just to get a shot on goal.

After more than enough lackluster games and efforts, the boys in black found their rythm. Allthough the score was 8-1, the goals did not come easy. Laurel Springs matched HAC shot for shot in the first half. Mike "The Flash" Purcell got things started with his first of three goals that morning. It wasn't until Dan " Speed Racer" Reilly came flying in for his first tally of the year did things begin to fall into place for Hainesport. The game starter slowly, perhaps due to the fact the grass was somewhat high. Heck, after playing on our field, grass was a welcome sight. Oscar did offer to use his new mechanical device on the field, but later rescinded. Something about Billy M's comment. Moving forward, I think we had 6 different players in the scoring column. It would have been 7 if not for Jim's horrible shot. For those of you who did not witness, you may ask, " how can you shoot from the GOAL line and hit the crossbar"? Perhaps 20 feet of open net is not enough for Mr. G. I believe that ends the "No way do we put Vince on offense" discussion. On a different note, the LS keeper took a nasty shot to the head in the first half. Moving to defend a shot, the side of his face hit the post. Pretty gutty performance, since he finished the contest with an ugly contusion. In a true display of sportsmanship, HAC peppered him the rest of the game. Speaking of gutty performances, our fearless leader Billy threw caution and ridicule to the wind by inserting yours truly (he said inserting) into the striker position. Hats off to Bill for a brave move. One that did not go unrewarded, when I almost scored with Gigantor on my back. Or when I almost scored with a shot on goal from 50 feet away. Or when I almost scored when John almost heard me call for the ball and maybe passed it to me so I could have a possible shot on net. Or when I took the guy down just outside our 18. Or the assist I almost got when I was on the sideline taking a picture of Jim's horrible shot. In any case, kudos to you Braveheart and I will continue to support such bold moves in the future. Next week, Mantua. Be there, or be scared.

        Back to back ties with Marlton and Gibbsboro has left HAC members scratching their heads. After going down by one to Marlton on a PK, HAC began to battle back. For the most part, play was spent in Marlton's end. Playing tight defense, Marlton denied shot after shot. They quickly covered up any loose balls, and we were unable to get any second shots on net. We hit the post, the crossbar, the guy holding the post twice, not to mention about 10 near misses. On a nice drop in pass by Timmy, Ron scored on a difficult headball shot and that was it for the day's scoring. For the second week in a row, we've had to come from behind after the first goal of the  game. Fortunate to be up 2-1 against the Gmen, we give up a goal with 5 seconds left in the game. Famous last words by Jim the stawart. "Don't give up the middle!"  Oops! Timmy came up big in net. Hal went down bigtime on a bruising hit by that nefarious goon known as Mr. Ottinger. Mr. Referee, he does it all the time! I believe this alledged gooning came back to haunt Mr. O when he was called for a handball in the box trying to stop a phenominal shot by yours truly and rightly so! Ron finished up with a nice PK to put us up by one. Still don't know how they got that last goal. Hopefully we'll be able to pick it up when Billy reviews the game films. In reality, Gibbsboro basically put on a clinic in the first half of the game. Facing shot after shot, we were lucky to be down  by just one goal. When hope was starting to fade, Alan put some sort of shot on net that somehow went in. Nice job Alan. ( Billy, what's his last name again?) On a side note, I should be okay to play this Thursday. My therapist says he can fit me in before then. We hope to have a game scheduled against Moorestown this week. With a little luck, maybe we can lose our midseason slump.