Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World

Directed by Peter Weir

Written by Patrick O'Brian and Peter Weir

Starring Russell Crowe, Paul Bettany, James D'Arcy, Edward Woodall, Chris Larkin, Max Pirkis, Jack Randall and Max Benitz

Rated PG-13 for intense battle sequences, related images, and brief language.

Runtime: 138 min

We are on a roll with the wooden ships and iron men these days.  First “Pirates of the Caribbean,” the lovable pirate comedy/thriller with Johnny Depp, and now “Master and Commander” with Russell Crowe as the new Captain Kirk of the Galapagos.  Whereas Depp let it all hang out in “Pirates,” Crowe has taken a sterner stance as master of the good ship Enterprise, er Surprise.  The fact is, surprise is the key element in Captain Jack Aubrey’s dashing sea-dual with the bigger, faster, heavier and better armed Archeron.  The Archeron is a ship of the Napoleanic fleet, out to destroy and dominate the world and make us all eat cheese and baguettes forever.  But we all know that the French are no match for Anglo Saxons when it comes to the art of war.

The show starts with the Surprise minding its own business in the middle of a fog bank with two young midshipmen standing the night watch on deck.  Did I say young?  These kids are really young, about fifteen years old.  But apparently they sent them off to sea early in those days, the better to learn the ways of the sea and keep the world safe for England and fish and chips.  So the kids are standing watch and one thinks he sees something through the fog.  It’s a Klingon ship!  And it’s firing!  Beat to stations and raise the port force shield, and give her all you got, Scotty!  But, alas, Scotty is still recovering from last night’s grog ration.  Fortunately for the audience the result of the ensuing cannon attack is one of the most excellent sequences of special effects this land-lubber has ever seen on the silver screen.  The little pops of light appear and disappear in the fog, the thin whistles of the balls get louder, and parts of the ship explode into mini-maelstroms of wood fragments, ship’s fittings and able-body parts.

The movie “Pirates of the Caribbean” had some good special effects.  I remember that because I’m watching “Pirates” on the little over-head TV on my airplane flight as I write this review.  But the only real cannon-ball effects were the ones in the routine shelling of the fort during the pirate attack.  Just a lot of stuff blown up, smoke, etc.  “Master and Commander” puts the audience inside the ship as it is being blown to pieces by a vicious foe on the outside. That makes a much scarier point of view, but is a more difficult special effect.  The final feeling it establishes is one of utter helplessness; of literally being a fish in a barrel.  Sealed in a cage and then slowly blown to pieces as each successive shell comes closer to the jugular.

The ships mast is down and she is unable to escape, her rudder destroyed by the disciplined gunnery of her stealthy Gallic assassins (Why can’t they fight fair.  We always fight fair!).  Anybody speak French?

Bloodied but not bowed, Captain Jack vows he will return to fight another day, and wanders off to the Galapagos to plot his next move while ship’s doctor Stephen Maturin (played by Paul Bettany) captures and records new species of lizards and tortoises.  Thus begins the rivalry between the street-smart, cunning and soulful captain and his scientific, intellectual ship’s doctor.  Speaking of the curse that has been put on the ship by a devil-possessed midshipman (maybe he just got into some bad barley…) Captain Jack says, “You know, doctor, not everything is in your books.”  I happen to know for a fact that Captain Kirk said that in 1976 about the new Klingon weapon, the Krypton osterizer neutralizer.  I kid you not.

Crowe gives this special effects bonanza the good old college try, and pulls it off OK if you don’t look too close.  The plot is clever and actually introduces a bit of naval strategy in amongst the cowboys-and-indians action.  There are some very nicely done camera angles, right down on the water, that emphasize the huge ships and the fragility of the men.  The shots of the sailors dropping the sails and trimming the ship are much more realistic than the scenes in “Pirate.”  The Galapagos Islands bring a pang of regret over the extinction of species there caused by hungry sailors in the 19^th century.

A thin plot, yes, but also some historical accuracy in the context of the Napoleonic Wars.  Although I couldn’t help but giggle at the French accent aboard the larger and more powerful Acheron, as her captain warned the smaller Surprise that escape was hopeless.  There was something vaguely insulting in the whole scene, although I couldn’t quite put my finger on it.  Also some excellent acting by all concerned, and that includes midshipmen Blakeney, Boyle and Calamy played by Max Pirkis, Jack Randall and Max Benitz, in very real roles of boys sent to war, also done with good historical accuracy.  War is hell, and even more so when we send our children to fight for us.

For a much more gritty look at the real lives of iron men on wooden ships, everybody interested in the history of sailing ships should see the 1935  “Mutiny on the Bounty,” directed by Frank Lloyd and starring Charles Laughton, Clark Gable and Franchot Tone.  All four men were nominated for Oscars, but only the movie itself won for Best Picture.  The plot of the “Bounty,” based on a true story, is much better for the human failings of Captain Bligh.  He really did flog a sailor “around the fleet,” continuing to beat the man on ship after ship long after he was dead.  Following horrendous incidents like that, when Bligh and several other officers were thrown off the ship in a lifeboat he led their incredible voyage of survival across over a thousand miles of open sea; a voyage that remains the longest such open-boat feat in history.  Unfortunately, Crowe’s character fails to express this all too human combination of heartless cruelty and gut-level character.  In “Master,” he is just too right, too often.

For a little more engaging and family-oriented sea-faring action, don’t miss the “Horatio Hornblower” series, a classic set of made-for-TV videos by BBC.  Excellent entertainment with the best elements of “Master” only without the spectacular special effects.  All things considered, “Master” is a good movie for the whole family and shouldn’t be missed.