We're Ass to Mouth in Here (Catullus 16)
Translation & Spunkification by Sean Northrup & Jared Demick
I'll boysaddle ya & erupt-a-rumba in your mouth,
pathetick Aurelius & woman-posing Furius.
You who thought I was all sham & no shame,
because of my dwarfy, mollycuddled poems.
Pious verse-dishers can chase after chastity,
but the verses should still stiffen a dead man's 5 limbs.
If those verses got the salt & wit enough
to incite a prurient posse,
I don't show them to boychicks, but to those hirsute hombres
who can't get their loins-a-going.
Just cuz you read my appeteasers on kissing,
you think my cajones are detachable?
I'll boysaddle ya & erupt-a-rumba in your mouths.