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Welcome to Bill's Place.
A collection of Friends In Recovery.
Featuring a weekly Step Study from various 12 Step Recovery literature.
With the occasional inspirational message or message pertaining to a broad spectrum of varied spiritual practices.
An open forum for discussion of the aforementioned Step Study and inspirational/spiritual practice messages.
"Dance like there's no one watching and love like you've never been hurt."
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IP No. 19
Self Acceptance

The problem

The lack of self-acceptance is a problem for many recovering addicts. This subtle defect is difficult to identify and often goes unrecognized. Many of us believe that using drugs was our only problem, denying the fact that our lives had become unmanageable. Even after we stop using, this denial can continue to plague us. Many of the problems we experience in ongoing recovery stem from an inability to accept ourselves on a deep level. We may not even realize that this discomfort is the source of our problem, because it is often manifested in other ways. We may find ourselves becoming irritable or judgmental, discontent, depressed, or confused. We may find ourselves trying to change environmental factors in an attempt to satisfy the inner gnawing we feel. In situations such as these our experience has shown that it is best to look inward for the source of our discontent. Very often, we discover that we are harsh critics of ourselves, wallowing in self-loathing and self-rejection.

Before coming to NA, most of us spent our entire lives in self-rejection. We hated ourselves and tried every way we could to become someone different. We wanted to be anyone but who we were.

Unable to accept ourselves, we tried to gain the acceptance of others. We wanted other people to give us the love and acceptance we could not give ourselves, but our love and friendship were always conditional. We would do anything for anyone just to gain their acceptance and approval, and then would resent those who wouldn't respond the way we wanted them to.

Because we could not accept ourselves, we expected to be rejected by others. We would not allow anyone to get close to us for fear that if they really knew us, they would also hate us. To protect ourselves from vulnerability, we would reject others before they had a chance to reject us.

The Twelve Steps are the solution

Today, the first step toward self-acceptance is acceptance of our addiction. We must accept our disease and all the troubles that it brings us before we can accept ourselves as human beings.

The next thing we need to help us toward self-acceptance is belief in a Power greater than ourselves who can restore us to sanity. We do not need to believe in any particular person's concept of that Higher Power, but we do need to believe in a concept that works for us. A spiritual understanding of self-acceptance is knowing that it is all right to find ourselves in pain, to have made mistakes, and to know that we are not perfect.

The most effective means of achieving self-acceptance is through applying the Twelve Steps of recovery. Now that we have come to believe in a Power greater than ourselves, we can depend upon His strength to give us the courage to honestly examine our defects and our assets. Although it is sometimes painful and may not seem to lead to self-acceptance, it is necessary to get in touch with our feelings. We wish to build a solid foundation of recovery, and therefore need to examine our actions and motivations and begin changing those things that are unacceptable.

Our defects are part of us and will only be removed when we practice living the NA program. Our assets are gifts from our Higher Power, and as we learn to utilize them fully, our self-acceptance grows and our lives improve.

Sometimes we slip into the melodrama of wishing we could be what we think we should be. We may feel overpowered by our self-pity and pride, but by renewing our faith in a Higher Power we are given the hope, courage, and strength to grow.

Self-acceptance permits balance in our recovery. We no longer have to look for the approval of others because we are satisfied with being ourselves. We are free to gratefully emphasize our assets, to humbly move away from our defects, and to become the best recovering addicts we can be. Accepting ourselves as we are means that we are all right, that we are not perfect, but we can improve.

We remember that we have the disease of addiction, and that it takes a long time to achieve self-acceptance on a deep level. No matter how bad our lives have become, we are always accepted in the Fellowship of Narcotics Anonymous.

Accepting ourselves as we are resolves the problem of expecting human perfection. When we accept ourselves, we can accept others into our lives, unconditionally, probably for the first time. Our friendships become deep and we experience the warmth and caring which results from addicts sharing recovery and a new life.

Take care of you
~Ralph Marston~

First, take good care of yourself. When you do, there is no limit to the value you can create for all the other people in your life and your world.

Begin each day by being good to yourself. When you are the best you can be, that's when you have the most to give.

Find the real joy that lives in each moment, and allow yourself to be filled with it. Your joyful approach to life can make a world of positive difference for everyone around you.

Find and fulfill those things that bring you enjoyment and real satisfaction. It is in those things that you can bring great value to the world.

There's a reason why it feels so good to feel good. It encourages you to do what you do best.

Be good to you, and you'll become a more interesting, creative and productive person. Be good to you, and you'll have what it takes to truly make a difference in the lives of others.

I was forced to live far beyond my years when just a child. Now I have reversed the order and I intend to remain young indefinitely.
~Mary Pickford~

We can all learn to change our lives so the child within each of us can live in balance with the people we have become. We can learn to give the child a voice, let the child play, let the child express needs and fears and pleasures.

We might look at our old baby pictures for a valuable lesson. We will see pictures of ourselves on rocking horses, grinning and waving; pictures of ourselves with our most precious toy - a crude metal car, perhaps; pictures of ourselves rolling in the grass. The lesson we learn is that it doesn't take much to make this child happy - even today.

We keep our own happiness safe inside us to call on whenever we need it, as long as we keep a healthy relationship with the child within. When we nourish the child, we can be assured the child will also nourish us.

What simple thing will make me happy today?

 

Weights Become Wings
Streams in the Desert
~Mrs. Charles E. Cowman~

"They shall mount up with wings as eagles" (Isa.40:31)

There is a fable about the way the birds got their wings at the beginning. They were first made without wings. Then God made the wings and put them down before the wingless birds and said to them, "Come, take up these burdens and bear them."

The birds had lovely plumage and sweet voices; they could sing, and their feathers gleamed in the sunshine, but they could not soar in the air. They hesitated at first when bidden to take up the burdens that lay at their feet, but soon they obeyed, and taking up the wings in their beaks, laid them on their shoulders to carry them.

For a little while the load seemed heavy and hard to bear, but presently, as they went on carrying the burdens, folding them over their hearts, the wings grew fast to their little bodies, and soon they discovered how to use them, and were lifted by them up into the air--the weights became wings.

It is a parable. We are the wingless birds, and our duties and tasks are the pinions God has made to lift us up and carry us heavenward. We look at our burdens and heavy loads, and shrink from them; but as we lift them and bind them about our hearts, they become wings, and on them we rise and soar toward God.

There is no burden which, if we lift it cheerfully and bear it with love in our hearts, will not become a blessing to us. God means our tasks to be our helpers; to refuse to bend our shoulders to receive a load, is to decline a new opportunity for growth. --J. R. Miller

Blessed is any weight, however overwhelming, which God has been so good as to fasten with His own hand upon our shoulders. F. W. Faber

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The Message Is Hope, The Promise Is Freedom

Just for today, you never have to use again.

Alive and Free

Never Alone Never Again
(neveralone_neveragain)

"Dance like there's no one watching and love like you've never been hurt."

Jimmy K.

The message is hope. The promise is freedom. Just For Today, you never have to use again.

---
"I slept and dreamed that life was joy.
I awoke and saw that life was service.
I acted and behold, service was joy."
~Tagore~

Peace.
Bill

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Trust and Believe

Canookie Girl