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Welcome to Bill's Place.
A collection of Friends In Recovery.
Featuring a weekly Step Study from various 12 Step Recovery literature.
With the occasional inspirational message or message pertaining to a broad spectrum of varied spiritual practices.
An open forum for discussion of the aforementioned Step Study and inspirational/spiritual practice messages.
"Dance like there's no one watching and love like you've never been hurt."
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BillsPlace/

Love or Judge?
~Robert Holden, Ph.D.~

Unhappiness is energy plus judgment. Can you see that all unhappiness stems from a judgment of "this is bad" and "this is wrong"? Nothing, in itself, can make you unhappy, but the belief that what you're witnessing must be "bad" and "wrong" will certainly encourage grief. Redundancy, for instance, need not be "bad" or "wrong," but if you insist it must be so, then you'll suffer great unhappiness. Look at your judgments!

The problem with judgment is that there is no is! Nothing is because everything has to be "good" or "bad" and "right" or "wrong." In other words, there is no acceptance. Everything you see you judge. Seeing is judgment. Thinking is judgment. You see nothing as it is; you only see your judgment of it. It is this lack of acceptance and openness that causes you so much pain.

Judgment isn't natural; it's learned. Judgment is an attribute of the ego, and the ego is always on guard, ready to dispense its judgments. While you continue to judge, there's no acceptance, no peace, and no rest. Because you were once afraid, you taught yourself to judge, but now you find that judgment only increases fear. Similarly, because you once lacked trust, you taught yourself to judge, but now you find that judgment diminishes any chance of trust.

If you judge something as "bad," you must inevitably feel "bad." If, you judge something as "good," you will feel "good." This is solid emotional mathematics. True freedom, however, comes from the willingness to give up judgment for love. This is particularly true when it comes to your judgments about emotions. When you're willing to give up judging your emotions, you're left with acceptance; and when you have acceptance, you also have love. Can you see that:

Fear, without judgment, is love.
Anger, without judgment, is love.
Guilt, without judgment, is love.
Depression, without judgment, is love.
Jealousy, without judgment, is love.
Hate, without judgment, is love.
Anxiety, without judgment, is love.
Sadness, without judgment, is love.
Pain, without judgment, is love.
Love, without judgment, is love.

Wisdom isn't judgment; wisdom is the relinquishment of judgment. Can you see that whenever you judge anyone or anything, you are the one who experiences the effect of the judgment? This is what is meant by the saying "Judge not that ye may not be judged." You may be angry at your mother, but it is your nervous system that feels the anger. You may be upset at your partner, but it is your mind that is unsettled. Judgment condemns and punishes everyone, including "ye" who judges.

Giving up judgment is only difficult because you still believe that judgment will somehow give you peace. To give up judgment, you must first realize that judgment cannot and will not give you peace. In other words . . .

judgment won't make you safe;
it will only make you afraid.

Second, to give up judgment, you only have to understand that you don't know enough about anything to make an accurate judgment. In other words, all your judgments are half-baked opinions and not whole truths. In the manual of A Course in Miracles, there are some wonderful words that read:

It is necessary for the teacher of God to realize, not that he should not judge, but that he cannot. In giving up judgment, he is merely giving up what he did not have. He gives up an illusion; or better, he has an illusion of giving up. He has actually merely become more honest. Recognizing that judgment was always impossible for him, he no longer attempts it. This is no sacrifice. On the contrary, he puts himself in a position where judgment through him rather than by him can occur. And this judgment is neither "good" nor "bad." It is the only judgment there is, and it is only one: "God's Son is guiltless, and sin does not exist."

Third, in order to give up judgment, you can begin by not judging yourself for your judgments! I was recently interviewed for a magazine in which I was asked, "Are you judgmental?" The most honest reply I could give was, "I am as judgmental as I have ever been. However, I've learned not to judge myself for my judgments. I've also learned to take my judgments less seriously. Most judgments are fears, and I'm determined not to live my life by fear."

Finally, judgment and love are opposites. By making a commitment to love and by cultivating a more loving outlook, judgment will automatically fall away. Love begets love; judgment begets judgment. The truth is . . .you cannot judge and love!

The experience of your entire life boils down, then, to a simple decision: Do you love, or do you judge? Which do you value the most? You so hoped that judgment would give you strength and peace, but there is no strength and peace in a mind that constantly judges. Love is strong. It is strong because it is free of fear and judgment. Love will give you all the peace you long for.

The joy of being
~Ralph Marston~

Living in joyful harmony with life is not that difficult at all. What can be difficult is getting away from the negative patterns that have become so comfortable and familiar.

It helps when you can remind yourself often of who you are and who you are not. You are not your problems or your pleasures, and are not the collection of material objects and concerns that surround you.

You are the awareness that can find meaning and bring out purpose in it all. You are the experience of being alive and the wisdom that is able to rise above the commotion.

The negativity you wish to escape is with you only as long as you hold on to it. Can you choose to let it fall cleanly away from you?

Of course you can, and the question to ask yourself is this. When will you?

Remember that you are more than anything that could bring you down. Let go, and let the joy of being rise peacefully to the surface.

I don't do what I do just so people will think kindly of me. I like doing what I do.
~Janice Clark~

We're lucky if we like everything that we do. But many of us have to develop a willingness to like many of the activities we're involved in. Is that unusual? Probably not. Nor does it matter. Acting as if we enjoy a menial task or an unusual pursuit offers us a different perspective on it. Just looking at it through more willing eyes changes not just how we see it, but how we feel about it. Often we discover that we can enjoy that which we dreaded before.

Because we wanted to be liked, and it's human nature to want that, we often volunteered for committees, for jobs, for assignments of all kinds that we didn't want to do. There's no shame in that. But at long last, we can dare to be more selective about what we'll do.

We are needed. That's why we're still alive. And while not everybody likes us, those currently in our circle of acquaintances need us and we need them. The work that is yet to be done relies on all of us. Pitching in begins to feel good when we have the right attitude.

I don't have to like everything I need to do today, but I'll feel more open to all the tasks if I remember they need my input.

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The Message Is Hope, The Promise Is Freedom

Just for today, you never have to use again.

Alive and Free

Never Alone Never Again
(neveralone_neveragain)

"Dance like there's no one watching and love like you've never been hurt."

Jimmy K.

The message is hope. The promise is freedom. Just For Today, you never have to use again.

---
Learn to hold everything softly, like the silence and the way an infant holds onto a finger. Learn to hold so softly that you are not quite sure what is within your grasp. When you can hold everything this way, things, feelings, and people - so softly you forget their names, that you even forget what those things are, then the silence that is the canvas, and the interval on which all things are painted and composed, will hold you softly, embrace you, permeate you until your very limbs become indistinct from all the other paintings and compositions.
~G. Bluestone~

Peace.
Bill

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Put yourself on my map.
Let me see where you are.

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Agents of God Montage

http://www.onetruemedia.com/shared?p=1895873a7fa75330862d31&skin_id=0&utm_source=otm&utm_medium=text_url

To trust, have faith, is to know that whatever happens will be good.

Trust and Believe

Canookie Girl