B”H
This past Shavouth, we lost a very
dear friend and teacher, Reb David Zeller z’l, our number one, holy beggar! Rebbenu’s
holy hippelach are getting older and Reb David’s passing hit us hard.
Yet,
how can we react with gloom and sorrow, when our holy Reb David sang such beautiful niggunim and followed the holy beggar
teachings of our Rebbe: Beg to Give not Receive. He did his part to bring joy into the world; his leaving it should be no different.
Yesterday, we marked the annyo
of the Lubavitcher Rebbe z’l and many of our friends gathered in NY to pray in his honour. We were asked to add a new mitzvah to our day, learn just one extra Toraleh and shine from one corner of
the world to the other.
Sometimes it’s hard to laugh when
we remember what we have lost. But there is no value in sadness—why hang
around it?
Rebbenu taught, when the world seems sad,
or you meet a Jew who is so down, in order to bring laughter and joy in the world, you are permitted to tell a joke, in fact
you are required to make your brother/sister laugh.
In honour of our Reb David, who told
his share of jokes; in memory of the Lubavitcher, who brought strength to the whole world, Jew and non-Jew and to celebrate
the teachings of our dear Shlomele z”l (who could make the most desperate person burst into tears and laughter simultaneously)
we pass on the following humour as a celebration of the soul.
May the whole world start laughing….
This one comes from our cousin in Israel—a
little bit Israeli; a little bit Russian humour. Also, a little bit “p.i.”(politically incorrect)? Maybe. But we still laughed, thinking---what is “p.i” anyway. Perhaps the inability to laugh at ourselves. Yosif translated….
What happens when a fly falls into a coffee
cup?
The Englishman: Throws away the cup of
coffee and walks away.
The American: Takes out the fly and drinks
the coffee.
The Chinese: Eats the fly and throws away
the coffee.
The Japanese: Drinks the coffee with the
fly, since it was extra.
The Israeli: Sells the coffee to the American,
the fly to the
Chinese, and buys himself a new cup of coffee.
The Palestinian: Blames the Israeli for
the violent act of putting the fly in his coffee; asks the UN for aid; takes a loan from the European Union to buy a new cup
of coffee; uses the money to purchase explosives, then blows up the coffee house, where The Englishman, the American, the
Chinese, and the Japanese are all trying to explain to the Israeli that he was too aggressive.....
Thank you to our cousin David Soltanov
for being our holy jester and making us laugh and not take the world so seriously. Be safe David, in our holy land.
And…..(a bit more tame)
How Many....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: How many Hassidic Rebbes does it take
to change a light bulb?
A: What is a light bulb?
Q: How many Orthodox Rabbis does it take
to change a light bulb?
A: Change?
Q: How many Conservative Rabbis does it
take to change a light bulb?
A: First call a committee meeting, then perhaps we can make a meaningful decision.
Q: How many Reform Rabbis does it take
to change a light bulb?
A: None, anyone can change it whenever they want to.
Q: How many Jewish Renewal rabbis does
it take to change a light bulb?
A: It depends.
* One if it's an eco-kosher
bulb that isn't going to be lit from electricity from nuclear power.
* Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal
turns putting in the bulb.
* Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and
one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called "The Jew in the Light bulb."
* Four, same as above plus
an additional rabbi to study the psyho- halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
Q: How many Shlomo Carlebach hassidim does
it take to change a light bulb?
A: Gevaldt, it's mamash such a great opportunity to do t'shuvah. So it takes everyone there
to get real loose, sing a niggun, listen to an Ishbitzer teaching, tell a Levi Yitchak story, and change the bulb at 2 in
the morning.
Q: How many Reconstructionist Rabbis does
it take to change a light bulb?
A: Four. One to wish they were doing what the Orthodox rabbi does,
one to wish they
were doing what the Reform rabbi does,
one to wish they were doing what the Renewal rabbi does,
and one eventually to
change the bulb.
Q: How many Jews does it take to change
a light bulb?
A: 30. One to change the bulb & 29 to discuss it and give contradictory advice to the person changing
the bulb.
Q. How many Lubavitchers does it take to
change a light bulb?
A. None, it is still burning bright.
Q: How many Breslover Hassidim does it
take to change a light bulb?
A: None. There will never be one that will burn as brightly as the first one.
Q: How many congregants does it take to
change a light bulb in a synagogue?
A: CHANGE? You vant vee should CHANGE the light bulb? My grandmother donated that light
bulb!!!
From:
http://jewishmag.com/18MAG/HUMOR/humor.htm
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