Walking the Camino  of Life

Without training in conscious movement, we tend to move by creating tension – forcing one leg to lift, swinging it forward, and then carrying on with momentum.  Once we get going we just seem to fall from one step to the next, almost throwing ourselves at the world. For some, this may feel a lot like our trajectory through life. We force ourselves to complete college or other schooling, find a job to pay the bills, maybe a partner to start a family and then let momentum carry us on through to retirement. At which point we might be expected to ‘relax’ and take it easy.  As if we are now somehow done, though not quite. The initial force or tension is usually caused by fear or hope or expectations – and is rarely the result of honest passion and presence. And by the time we get to ‘relax’, most of us just collapse on the couch or into the beds of the modern medical industry.

There is another way to walk. To learn it requires slowing down and paying attention. To do it requires letting go of tension that has accumulated and in the space revealed allowing the movement to begin to fill and then mindfully directing the legs – actually choosing how we step in the world. In our tai chi practice - in our form - we get to practice this physical process over and over and over as we step through the 108 moves of the form. As each posture comes to fruition and the energy of its shape is accumulated, we let it go and allow the new movement to commence. Once the leg is free to move, we choose a new direction and grow into that posture. And so it goes.  

I like this as a metaphor for walking one’s life path (or as they say in Spain – “el camino”). A great deal of energy and intention is focused in a certain direction – a posture in life takes shape. For me, it was the posture of a corporate executive, a senior manager in an international accounting firm, responsible for a million dollar per annum portfolio. Two years ago, I slowed down and as I walked the 500-mile Camino del Santiago, I began to pay attention.  I noticed that despite having accomplished the goals I had set for myself many years earlier, I was growing quite attached to the posture and growing quite solid in it.

But life is movement, and I wanted to move – so I began the progressive release of energy that was holding that shape in place. I formally resigned about a year ago and began creating space in my life for new options to emerge. I am afraid of falling down, but like the role of gravity in my tai chi form, I count on my passion for martial arts to keep me centered and standing.  Sure enough, I am beginning to feel the slightest movement filling the space – new ideas, interests, options are developing. And I trust that if I pay close attention to this present moment, I will choose well my next steps on my camino.

Enjoy your Camino –

Dorian