May you Find your Legs

I didn’t know I was missing them.

I had been studying tai chi with Jan for a little while when she gave me a gift, on the back of which she wrote these words. Hhhhmmm. No one ever said that to me before. I bet there is a tai chi lesson in there. I wonder what it is.

I mean of course, I knew all about let your thigh muscles burn  - use your legs for power. – as in the root is in the feet, ….direction is in the waist, expression is in the hands.  But she hadn’t written “May you use your legs” – she wanted me to find them.   

And I knew where they were – they were those tight, stiff, highly vulnerable and likely fragile drumsticks on which I stood and walked and hiked and ran and kicked (always in comfortable shoes, of course). What is there to find?

Well, gradually it is becoming clearer. Indeed, the tense little drumsticks I have just described are beginning to give way to something a bit softer,  - softer, yet more substantial. Some part of myself that is also capable of letting go and relaxing, even while moving and working and standing and walking. I am starting to feel not just their aches and pains and vulnerabilities, but also their energy, their resiliency, their strengths. And it feels good.

Makes me really wonder about that “drop your shoulders” thing that Sifu has mentioned once or twice.

Enjoy your legs

Dorian

To Will or Not to Will –

(warning: this is one of those writings that is more for the writer than the reader in a ‘you had to be there’ kind of way  - I post it anyway, because some of you dear readers may just enjoy it too)

Something Sam Masich said last weekend in his workshop on “The Inner and Outer” continues to resonate and reverberate with me. Those of you who have been reading along with me, know that I have lately been pondering the role of will and intent and choice and the turnaround point.  Listening and exploring along with Sam in his lecture and demonstration, he helped me see the missing piece in my focus – the other side of will – the yin side. That this is simply --  presence – attentive awareness.

We tend to choose the willful thing – we motivate, inspire, some days even drag our sorry rears to work –however we perceive it.  Assert the will, accomplish the deed, achieve the goal and then allow ourselves to rest, to collapse from exhaustion, or just go back to numbness. Until another day comes and we get up and do it again, amen. Aaaargh. Don't feel bad - its culture driven -  scientific, patriarchic, capitalistic - but we can change it, and many of us have and are)

Sam pointed out so very clearly, and we all suspect, that another path lies before us – the path of choosing to release into awareness and from here allow the will to naturally arise from the actual circumstances that exist. The path of least resistance – not a passive, go along path – but a path that is carved from the power of presence and recognition of what is really happening and what the appropriate next action is.  By bringing my heart and mind to the attention of the present moment, the will to act that emerges will be a unified intention – so much stronger and wholesome than the mind acting alone.

Like most of us, I have been dwelling on the turnaround from awareness to will and what prompts it, what is the timing of it, why do I sometimes seem to have such bad timing – my focus has been on how do I assert my will more timely.  With this new focus, I ask different questions: what am I holding onto that is no longer relevant? If I let that go and pay attention, what emerges? What do I feel, see, understand? Is there a wisdom of the body, of the spirit that suggests the next action?

As I have learned my tai chi form, Jan has guided me to ask these very questions- what can I let go of, if I linger in the present moment what emerges into the next appropriate action? My practice continues to support this exploration as I learn to stop asking when do I choose the technique, and instead simply act in accordance with the heart-felt will.  I especially value the gift of exploring this question not just in the martial arts studio, but in all my life decisions, as I encourage you to do as well.

Enjoy the letting go

Dorian

To Will or Not to Will –

(warning: this is one of those writings that is more for the writer than the reader in a ‘you had to be there’ kind of way  - I post it anyway, because some of you dear readers may just enjoy it too)

Something Sam Masich said last weekend in his workshop on “The Inner and Outer” continues to resonate and reverberate with me. Those of you who have been reading along with me, know that I have lately been pondering the role of will and intent and choice and the turnaround point.  Listening and exploring along with Sam in his lecture and demonstration, he helped me see the missing piece in my focus – the other side of will – the yin side. That this is simply --  presence – attentive awareness.

We tend to choose the willful thing – we motivate, inspire, some days even drag our sorry rears to work –however we perceive it.  Assert the will, accomplish the deed, achieve the goal and then allow ourselves to rest, to collapse from exhaustion, or just go back to numbness. Until another day comes and we get up and do it again, amen. Aaaargh. ( Don't feel bad - its culture driven -  scientific, patriarchic, capitalistic - but we can change it, and many of us have and are)

Sam pointed out so very clearly, and we all suspect, that another path lies before us – the path of choosing to release into awareness and from here allow the will to naturally arise from the actual circumstances that exist. The path of least resistance – not a passive, go along path – but a path that is carved from the power of presence and recognition of what is really happening and what the appropriate next action is.  By bringing my heart and mind to the attention of the present moment, the will to act that emerges will be a unified intention – so much stronger and wholesome than the mind acting alone.

Like most of us, I have been dwelling on the turnaround from awareness to will and what prompts it, what is the timing of it, why do I sometimes seem to have such bad timing – my focus has been on how do I assert my will more timely.  With this new focus, I ask different questions: what am I holding onto that is no longer relevant? If I let that go and pay attention, what emerges? What do I feel, see, understand? Is there a wisdom of the body, of the spirit that suggests the next action?

As I have learned my tai chi form, Jan has taught me to ask these very questions- what can I let go of, if I linger in the present moment what emerges into the next appropriate action? My practice continues to support this exploration as I learn to stop asking when do I choose the technique, and instead simply act in accordance with the heart-felt will.  I especially value the gift of exploring this question not just in the martial arts studio, but in all my life decisions, as I encourage you to do as well.

Enjoy the letting go

Dorian

Time Passes

Well – I had hoped to post to this blog before heading out of town for Sam’s seminar near Toronto. You know, hopefully, something witty or thought-provoking about the role of vision in martial arts, or the relevancy of Virginia Woolf’s A Room of One’s Own to my own standing inside myself, or perhaps the importance of connection to the material and to the students in the success of a good class, or even just some thoughts on one of the 10 essentials…….

Alas – as always, time seems to have gotten away from me. As much as I tried to dam the river of moments, they just kept passing by me and I just kept paddling until now it is time to post to my ‘weekly’ blog’ and the best I can offer is this.

Sometimes this may just have to be enough.

Fortunately, for you dear reader, my teacher and friend, Jan Parker has posted a wonderful note to her blog this week. Go to  www.janparkerarts.com, and click on Jan’s Notebook, and ……

Enjoy

Dorian