I’m packed and ready to begin the journey home. I started this intensive in a state of grieving, and this last week has me contemplating loss in yet another way. The experience has been a lot of fun and I have learned so much; I will miss my wonderful classmates and Sam’s brilliant teaching. I will miss the sunny days and friendly people. And yet, I am focused on coming home - I am moving forward from this present moment.

There is a tai chi maxim - “invest in loss” and I love the puzzle that it is - for it does not say just accept loss, but rather invest in it. What does that mean, exactly? One way of thinking about it is in the form of generosity. The more I give, the more that comes back to me. And I have surely felt this to be true. Another is to practice and practice with as many people as possible and get tossed around and off-balanced a thousand times, for every “loss” is really a “win” if I learn something from it. And learn I will.

And I think there is something else, too; something about really giving to the loss one is experiencing. We looked at da lu this week and I found in the lessons of dalu something that helps me understand ’investing in loss’ Indeed the dalu is a study of what to do - skillfully, with presence and attention - when loss is what is happening. Loss of balance (when one is plucked out of one‘s base), loss of success (when one‘s overwhelmingly powerful force is simply neutralized and the goal is lost), loss of the direct, and upright interaction that one might prefer. The large roll-back - the dalu - in the Yang Style Tai Chi Curriculum is the study of what to do when things don’t turn out exactly as you planned.

For example, when my partner neutralizes my force and again after they pull me off-balance, dalu trains me to step properly and settle into my hip before choosing to step in with an elbow stroke. In other words, I have lost - I tried to overcome them with force and it didn’t work - they neutralized the force and turned it against me. The lesson here isn’t accept it. That would mean step however I do and deal with the fact that they have got me. No, it is invest in loss. My force is spent, I may as well settle into the position that does leave me in and invest a little of myself in that loss. This doesn’t mean that I can recover my original goal. No, I have let that go and am investing in this place, the place of loss. I am being pulled off-balance, so I give attention to that, I still have choice, I can find my base, settle into my hips, step with care, and express the energy available to me. By investing in my loss, I get some return. I get the opportunity to express elbow stroke. And the circle continues.

Invest in loss. For the next period of time in my practice, and teaching, and training, I look forward to studying dalu and maybe learn something about how to settle more skillfully into the losses in my life. Who knows what the eventual return will be?

The lesson revealed to me in my first lesson contained it all. Of course, I keep studying to understand that lesson - but it was all there. That first lesson I am referring to was with Jan when she explained the meaning of advance, retreat, gaze left, look right, and central equilibrium. Nothing in my martial arts practice (or even my life) has been the same since. In explaining the meaning of these five steps, she unlocked the mystery of the principled yet organic movement that is Taijiquan. Principled in that there is a logic that must be adhered to, organic in that it is based on the human body, not someone's style or preference of moving.

And what is that logic? Human anatomy - the hip is a ball and socket joint. The waist consists of a series of muscles, spine, skin and organs that move separately from the hips. Sam Masich has written and taught extensively about the distinction between the hip and the waist. He even has a name for how we move from a back-weighted stance to a front-weighted stance or vice versa - we move along the 'hip track'. A track, like a train track - while it is possible to jump track, damage happens when we do. Stay in the hip track, and the legs can root into the earth accessing power to transfer to the waist where it can be directed, according to the mind's intent. Jump track, and the knees hurt, the ankles wobble, the center loses power.

Knowing the distinction between the waist and the hips allows us to understand the five steps or phases of the legs. Once we understand the five phases, we can explore the eight gates and begin to reap the benefits of personal development that lead to spiritual enlightenment. Connections best explored in class or by reading the classic writings - .....meanwhile.....as Jan says - put the hip track on your altar for a couple of years or more - make it second nature to stay in it. You'll be glad you did!