Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about change. Maybe it’s because I’ve been through a lot of changes in the past year or so.  My work schedule, for example, has gone back and forth several times between night shift and day shift.  Plus, there was that awful weekend when I had to work the overnight shift.  Yuck!  I don’t even want to talk about that.

            Another example is my diet.  I’ve recently junked the junk food in favor of things like fruit, vegetables, salad, and yogurt.  I’ve managed to lose a few pounds, and all that healthy food is actually kind of tasty.  Who knew?

            Those changes, however, seem minor compared to the really big change I’m about to make.  Seriously, this is BIG.  Here goes.  I’m going to stop watching my soap opera.  There.  I said it.  I’m going to stop watching my soap opera.

            Maybe this doesn’t sound like a big deal to you.  But, it is.  I started watching “Guiding Light” (that’s GL to soap fans) 20 years ago, while I was in college.  My roommates all watched “Guiding Light” and it didn’t take long for me to get sucked in.  I mean, how could I not get hooked when Beth and Philip and Rick and Mindy were sneaking around New York City looking for Infinity (or something). 

            So why, after years of daily visits to Springfield, am I stopping now?  Ironic as this may seem, I don’t like the changes that the show is going through.  Springfield just doesn’t seem like home anymore.  For one thing, Philip is dead (or is he? Hmmmm).  Mindy is somewhere in Europe designing clothes.  Beth, sweet innocent Beth, is married to domineering Alan.  And, Rick doesn’t really have a story.  He only pops up when someone needs medical attention.

            There’s also the matter of the ridiculous plot lines.  I managed to deal with it when they cloned Reva.  But, I draw the line when Spaulding International, a major conglomerate, is suddenly headed by Harley Davidson Cooper Spaulding Mallet Spaulding Aitoro, whose only business experience has been waitressing at her father’s diner. 

Then there’s the matter of Prince Edmund Winslow.  He’s managed to steal another woman’s baby by ripping off drugs from a hospital and using said drugs to induce labor in said woman.  She now thinks her baby is dead, even though it’s really being cared for by Edmund’s ex-wife, who believes the baby is hers.  Edmund also has another woman, Dinah, locked up in a secret location so that she can’t tell anyone the truth about the baby.  The secret location happens to be a replica of the ex-wife’s house.  The only difference is that the replica comes complete with a steel door.  Talk about girl trouble.  Sheesh!

As entertaining as all that might sound to you, I’m not really having much fun these days.  Springfield sure has changed over the years.  I think it’s time to turn out the Light.

                      (November 2005)