I give up.  After a fierce week-long fight, let me admit defeat.  I lose.  Technology wins. 

The futility of my situation came into focus following the sudden death of my home computer, which I fully blame on Apple.  See, I tried to download an updated version of iTunes + QuickTime.  It was taking a really long time, so I tried to cancel.  Eventually, a box appeared to tell me that something or other was not responding.  I clicked "End Now," but nothing ended.  So, I did what any reasonable person would do.  I pulled the plug.

When I plugged back in and pressed the "on" button, absolutely nothing happened.  The computer didn't even pretend like it wanted to start.  I found the owner's manual and found that most of the troubleshooting recommendations required the computer to actually have power. 

So, I called tech support.  When I explained the problem, the guy on the phone said that he would send me a box so I could send them computer, then they would fix it and send it back.  Well, the thing was almost four-years old, so I said “No.”

Then, they tried to sell me a new one.  They offered me some souped up model which, I'm almost certain, contained a warp drive and a button that would convert the monitor into a giant HD TV.  OK.  Not really, but it sounded like it had a lot of stuff I didn’t really need.  The guy quoted me a price and then, right away, he dropped it by $200 because I, he said, am a "loyal customer."

I don't know much about sales, but during the summer that I tried to sell time shares (that's a whole other column), I learned two things:  1) You have to tell the customer a story.  It doesn't have to be a true story.  All that matters is that the customer gets sucked in; 2) You also don't give a customer the "drop" right away - unless there's going to be a second one later on.

Eventually the first guy, who did not tell me a story, put me on with his supervisor.  Not only did I not get a story out of him, either, I also did not get another price reduction.  So, when we got to the point where he asked for a credit card number, I said "No."  I had to repeat it several more times with increasing volume.  I finally hung up as he was still trying to sell me on the super-duper computer.

The following day, I went over to the Big Box stores and checked out the selection.  I ended up with a more down-to-earth, less expensive model from the same manufacturer.  Of course, then I had to buy software...

Anyway, I'm now back up and running.  Most of the bugs have been worked out.  But, when it comes to making Windows Vista, Outlook 2007 and four-year-old Palm Pilot get along, I think that’s a battle I’m going to lose.

                            (October 2007)