It's 3:12a.

 

I was JUST about to fall asleep alittle before midnight when Olivia woke up (she fell asleep around 9a).  I think she would have fallen back asleep if I had let her cry a little bit (her eyes were shut when I picked her up) or given her a paci.  Weird part was, I was contemplating whether to force feed her 2ozs of milk like I had done the night before (which led her to sleep until 6a).  I decided that I was nice and cozy and didn't want to get out of bed and was about to fall asleep when ALL OF A SUDDEN...WAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!

 

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.  I instantly knew that I was gonna have a hard time falling asleep after that.  This is my theory- once I am jolted right before I fall asleep, it makes it difficult for me to go back to bed.  Now, if I had fallen asleep and someone was to wake me in the middle of it (ie. feeding time), I would have no problems continuing my slumber.  Question is, how do I calm and persuade myself that it's no big deal, shake it off and to go to sleep?  That seems to be the one million dollar mental and subconscious question. 

 

I did try watching tv earlier for about a half hour.  Obviously it didn't work.  Sigh.  It's going to be such a beautiful day tomorrow (in the low 70s!) and I'm gonna feel hazy.  Better yet, it's going to be a wasted day.  Dammit.

Some things on Olivia as she approaches the two months old milestone-

 

All you soda guzzlers out there- read this:

 

Is when you kinda do fall asleep for a brief moment and have a weird ass, sex boinking dream.  Mine was with Clive Owen (he is soo bloody H-O-T).  I remember saying to him, "Oooh, you're like a teddy bear!"

 

What a ridiculous thing to say!

 

Nevertheless, I slept very well last night.

Yep, it happened again.  I've finally succumbed to the fact that I need professional help.  It's beyond my control these days.  At first, I thought I was stressing over bullshit stuff- Sophia's upcoming birthday party (and whether or not to have it) and Olivia's one month party.  Now those two parties are over and done with, I figure my sleeping schedule will be back on track.  Err, no. 

 

I called my OB-GYN's office and hopefully the CNM (certified nurse-midwife) will give me a better direction of how to battle this insomnia. 

Ever since Sophia's been waking up in the middle of the night to tinkle, I've been imbedding the words "GO TO THE BATHROOM BY YOURSELF" and "DON'T WAKE MOMMY OR DADDY UP" before she went to bed.  Little did I realize, for a little person like her, going to the bathroom at night could be a bit intimidating.  So we bought one of those push lights that run on batteries.  She hated the light for two reasons- one was it's way too bright and two, while I was in the hospital giving birth, she and my dad were playing with bouncing balls at his place. My dad accidentally threw the ball hard and it bounced up to the ceiling and broke the ceiling light which caused Sophia to FREAK THE F OUT.  Now when we go visit them, she insists we turn on all the lights just so she knows the light has been replaced and it's not busted.  Anyhows...

 

Last night when Phil and I passed out by 10:30p and woke up around 3:30a to feed Olivia, Phil came back from the bathroom and asked if I had helped her to the bathroom earlier.  I said no and he said, "she must have gone by herself because her potty seat is still on the toilet seat."  I went to check the toilet roll and sure enough she tore the tissue in a zigzag way.

 

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

 

I hope this means no more interrupted sleep from her. 

Insomnia has struck once again. 

 

I really am tired of this shit even though I can't get tired enough to fall asleep.  How ironic is that?  A real pain in the farkin' arse.  Just when I was having a normal life, I decided to fuck it up and add a second child.  Not saying I don't love Olivia, which I do, just that I don't adapt to change (especially big changes!) very well.  I am a creature of habits, a creature of routines.  Oh well.  I better get used to it now. 

 

I am having a cup of warm milk with cookies, hoping the tryptophan in my milk will make me sleepy.  I hate milk.  It gives me tummy aches.

 

Party went off without a hitch.  I have been stressing for the past two weeks about family members over inviting and seating arrangements.  There were some last minute cancellations, only ONE family was kind enough to get back to me.  Everybody else wasn't too keen on letting the hostess know, therefore creating an ugly monster within me.  Sigh.

 

Nevertheless, I had a great time seeing old friends and family.  Gatherings like these are always fun to reminisce with each other.  Just like the good ol' days.  Our crowd seems to be growing, adding little additions to the group.  It's totally great.  For those who came tonight and made it a special one and those who helped afterwards, big thanks to you all.   I sure as hell don't take my friends for granted.  They are my life.  And life is beautiful.  But only if I can sleep properly.

Last week, Sophia and I went to our local Y (brand spankin' new on Houston and Bowery) for free sample classes.  The first class was an art class that Sophia had loads of fun.  We painted a glass candle holder and she painted on paper as well.  The other sample class was a gym and swim class for kids.  Sophia LOVED the swimming class even though she was a little scared (she's only been in a pool no more than a handful of times). 

 

I've signed her up for a membership- $100 for the year.  Class prices are quite reasonable- then again, a lot cheaper than what's going around our neighborhood these days.  The plus is the indoor Olympic sized pool.  They also have new state-of-the-art gym equipment though the room is a bit small.  Wait until they build a Whole Foods upstairs.  The Y is gonna be hopping.

 

***

 

So today I had free time to see what the hoopla is on with Trader Joe's.  It's located what used to be the Palladium and Julian's (the pool hall), now NYU dorms.  The store itself is super small compared to Whole Foods.  The wine area isn't opened yet, so I have yet to dip my hands into taste testing it, but I heard the $3 bottles aren't too shady.

 

Pure mayhem inside.  It was no later than 10:30a and already it was PACKED.  I had a few items in my basket but I quickly put it away- I was in no mood to stand in line that snaked around the store.  NUTS!  But I plan to come back and pick up some items I saw that looked quite tasty (Belgian profiteroles for less than $5!) and at a good price.

 

Tonight's Olivia's moon yuet/one month old party (yes, she's over one month old, we moved the dinner an extra few weeks later).  I feel terribly bad for those I would have loved to invite, but the restaurant is super small and each of our families had invited their families and friends which left us very little to invite.  (That means you, Drew!  I'm super duper sorry...  :( )

 

Pics to come from the soiree.

Of all things to break, our Soothing Motions Glider broke this evening.  We grew very dependent on this.  As most babies like to be carried and fall asleep in one's arms, this was the perfect anecdote to it all.  When Olivia got tired, we would plop her ass in the glider and voila, goodnight baby.  Now I have to resort to one of Sophia's vibrating glider that Olivia doesn't really like!  UGH!

 

I called Fisher Price and told them what happened and they said they'll have UPS come and pick it up.  I said, okay great, but I need a replacement, couldn't they ship one overnight to me?  No luck, it would take a couple of days.  WHA?!  Bah, nevermind.  I was banking some baby store in the city would have it. 

 

I made a flurry of calls to Babies R Us, Toys R Us and BuyBuyBaby.  Manhattan, Queens, Brooklyn, Long Island and even New Jersey- NOBODY HAS IT.  Out of stock.  Infact, many other parents have put in a call to those stores requesting it.  I was so desperate, I even called Target and Wal-Mart.  Zippo.  I am beginning to wonder if there is a defect in the product...hmm.

 

First the crayon episode, now this.  What other bad thing could happen to me and make me go fucking nuts?

Didn't sleep again.  I don't know if I was stressing over the damn stained crayon clothes or if it's post-pregnancy insomnia or my hormones going wacky.  Whichever it is, it's bugging me out.  I almost fell asleep at 11p.  Somehow I jolted out of my sleep.  I tried drinking a glass of wine to relax me at midnight.  Didn't work.  Sophia woke up to pee at 1a.  I read a baby book at 3a.  Didn't work.  Fed Olivia at 3:45a and she fell back asleep at 4a.  Still not tired.  At 5:30a, Phil got ready for work.  Sophia woke up at 7a and demanded that I lie next to her in bed (I told her to go back to bed).  Nanny came in at 8a.  She told me to go to sleep, but it was useless.  I am tired, but wide awake. 

 

Maybe I should just go back to pumping.  I never had trouble falling asleep and it always made me sleepy!

Umm, tried the Borax TWICE.  Didn't work.  I tried another solution (forgot the name).  Didn't work.  Tomorrow, I'm giving WD-40 a whirl.  And OxyClean.  I am determined to get the fucking crayon stain OFF.

 

!#$%!@#$%^@&^%&#%^!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sophia conveniently left half a blue crayon in her jacket pocket.  Nanny washed it and dried it.  BUT SHE DIDN'T CHECK HER POCKETS BEFORE LAUNDERING IT!  Goddamn it...blue streaks are all over her clothes. 

 

I googled the best way to get rid of dried crayon marks and found that 20 Mule Team Borax will get rid of it.  I went to my local grocery store, my local drugstore, NADA.  I was so desperate to find it.  I had my sister search for it online and she found Gristede's carry it.  So I called all the nearest Gristede's and those idiot workers had no idea what I was talking about.  I was seriously doubting Pathmark would carry it.  But I called anyway to check.  I had nothing to lose.  And guess what- THEY DID!

 

On my way to Pathmark, I bumped into my younger sister, Kim.  She was picking up corned beef hash (eww- looks like dog food!) for her upcoming trip with Judy, Rolly and friends to Culebra, Puerto Rico.  We got to Pathmark, I ran to the detergent aisle and grabbed a box.  YAY!  Now let's hope the damn thing works.  I'll keep you posted.

THANK GOD I *SLEPT LAST NIGHT WITHOUT ANY INTERRUPTIONS (for some strange reason Sophia tinkled in her diaper and Olivia woke up at 5a). 

 

*With the help of a glass of red wine...ahh.  The first drink in ten months!

 

***

 

Sophia's birthday party was fun even though I was really out of it.   Food was alright (when you're tired, you can't really enjoy the eats), service was excellent and we had cupcakes for dessert.  Thanks to those who came and celebrated Sophia's third birthday!

Oh shit.  It happened again.  I broke night...and not because I was out with friends.  I was home.  Attempting to fall asleep. 

 

The same thing happened when Sophia was about a month and a half.  I guess my body couldn't handle being jerked around several times in the middle of the night so it decided on its own to hell with sleeping and to stay awake.   I call it the "anxiety attack."  What it's saying is, "Oh why bother sleeping...the kids are gonna wake up anyway, so stay up and freak out!"  I got rid of the last time by ending up in the hospital.  I had a bad gallstone attack and I guess it detered my focus on sleeping and onto the pain.  I hope this won't be a recurring theme.  I don't know if ratty bones (and brains) can handle it anymore. 

 

I started counting backwards from 100.  Didn't work.  I read "Secrets of the Baby Whisperer."  Sorta worked.  I tried sleeping on the couch.  Didn't work.  I tried the yoga breathing.  Didn't work.  Things started floating in my head, doubts and negativity that I won't be able to fall asleep.  Boy, did that work.

 

I managed to fall asleep around 6a-8a.  I think.

 

And of all nights, Olivia slept through the night.  Sophia didn't- she had a pee call at 1a, but it was a lot better than the other night. 

 

***

 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, my darling Sophia.  I can't believe she's 3 years old.  Time sure flies when you're not so naughty.  But I still love you and your hugs and kisses.

 

We're having a small kiddie birthday party at California Pizza Kitchen later this afternoon.  I know nothing about this chain, but I heard it caters to children.  I just hope the food is good!

 

Sophia's interview with the pre-school went well.  For an hour and a half, she had noooo problems coloring, playing with water, singing A, B, Cs and Wheels on the Bus.  Zero separation anxiety.  I explained to her I was leaving, she was staying in school for a little bit and I was going to see her later.  With no hesitation, she said okay and went back to playing.  I was relishing in the fact there were some children who were crying after the parents dropped them off into the classroom.  Okay, that was mean, but it meant Sophia will have a great chance of getting in.  Getting accepted at this pre-school is quite competitive as any Manhattan school is.  And it's probably the cheapest too!  I heard great praises about the school despite of their Catholic teachings (UGH!).  I hope this goes through.  Keep your fingers crossed.

 

***

 

My father bought her an 84 piece puzzle of the US map.  Can you believe she knows how to put part of it together?  Little by little, I'm teaching her the states and the capitals.  I know, it's quite early, but at this age, she is a sponge and picks things up quite quickly.  It's fascinating watching her learn!

How is it possible that Sophia woke up THREE TIMES in the middle of the night to pee and Olivia managed to wake up only once for feeding (she knocked out around 9:30/10p and woke up at 5a).

 

(Note, I gave Sophia her milk at 7:50p, she tinkled around 8:45/9p before she took a bath.  Now how much pee could she store???  For her birthday present, I'm going to pick up a night light for the bathroom so she could stop waking me up.)

So Olivia had a bit of a meltdown last night around 7-10pm.  Not the first time.  It has happened before, resulting in my mother and grandparents to come rushing to aid us (my mother really didn't come on her own, her in-laws made her).  I think it's a combo of many things- we missed the "window" of opportunity to put her down for a nap which makes her a very cranky and tired baby and we've overfed her which led to a bellyache.  Eventually, she calmed down around 10:30p and managed to fall asleep (two thumbs up on Phil).  I was worried she didn't have enough food in her belly which would have her wake up earlier for feeding, but she woke up at 4a.  Phew.

 

I really HATE it when she won't stop crying.  Some people could handle it and is really patient about it.  I on the other hand, can't handle it.  If you're trying to get confidential information out of me, you might as well put me in a room full of crying babies.  I'll spill the beans in a flash.  It just makes me tense, frazzled and loopy.  Next time she pulls that shit on me, I'm either gonna listen to my iPod (which I haven't used in over six months- it needs a good updating too) or stick my earplugs on (I never used these when I went to many shows back in my Elektra days). 

 

I have to apologize publicly to Phil.  Because I can't handle the crying, I turn into a screaming banshee as well.  I bark out orders to Phil, hoping that one suggestion will calm her ass down.  And it's bad enough that one is crying and inconsolable and the other one (Sophia) is running around and shouting in the apartment like she's at the park.  I just don't handle baby pressure very well.  So sorry Phil.

 

During bedtime, we constantly play tag team with each other.  When one can't handle the other kid, we switch off.  Sometimes I feel like we're playing football- I'm the running back and he's the quarterback.  Hand off.  Except I have no where to run, but to shower and to my bed.  It's frickin' nuts.  There are some good nights and obviously, many bad nights.  sigh.

 

***

 

Just recently Sophia has started calling me by my nickname, Lynne.  UGH. 

 

***

 

Tomorrow Sophia is going to be "interviewed" at the pre-school.  I just can't wait to hear her mutter "kiss my ass" to the teachers and principal.  Don't start pointing fingers at me...I didn't teach her that line.  My father taught her it.  See where I get my potty mouth from?  (I can almost hear Heather L. re-telling that story how we were driving up to the Poconos and an elderly man cut me off at the Lincoln Tunnel and I shouted at him, "UP YOURS, GRANDPA!")

If you're having a bad day or just feeling down, listen to "Brimful of Asha" by Cornershop (it reminds me of my early hey days at Elektra).  Here are the lyrics-

 

There’s dancing
Behind movie scenes
Behind the movie scenes
Sadi Rani
She’s the one that keeps the dream alive
From the morning
Past the evening
To the end of the light

Brimful of Asha on the 45
Well it’s a brimful of Asha on the 45
Brimful of Asha on the 45
Well it’s a brimful of Asha on the 45

And dancing
Behind movie scenes
Behind those movie screens
Asha Bhosle
She’s the one that keeps the dream alive
From the morning
Past the evening
To the end of the light

Brimful of Asha on the 45
Well it’s a brimful of Asha on the 45
Brimful of Asha on the 45
Well it’s a brimful of Asha on the 45

Everybody needs a bosom for a pillow
Everybody needs a bosom
Everybody needs a bosom for a pillow
Everybody needs a bosom
Mine’s on the 45

And singing
Illuminate the main streets
And the cinema aisles
We don’t care about no government warnings
‘bout their notion of a simple life
And the dams they are building
Brimful of Asha on the 45
Well it’s a brimful of Asha on the 45
Brimful of Asha on the 45
Well it’s a brimful of Asha on the 45

Everybody needs a bosom for a pillow
Everybody needs a bosom
Everybody needs a bosom for a pillow
Everybody needs a bosom
Everybody needs a bosom for a pillow
Everybody needs a bosom
Everybody needs a bosom for a pillow
Everybody needs a bosom
Everybody needs a bosom for a pillow
Everybody needs a bosom
Mine’s on the 45

Brimful of Asha on the 45
Well it’s a brimful of Asha on the 45
Brimful of Asha on the 45
Well it’s a brimful of Asha on the 45
Everybody needs a bosom for a pillow
Everybody needs a bosom
Everybody needs a bosom for a pillow
Everybody needs a bosom
Everybody needs a bosom for a pillow
Everybody needs a bosom
Everybody needs a bosom for a pillow
Everybody needs a bosom

And singing and dancing
And singing and dancing
And singing and dancing
And singing and dancing
And dancing and dancing
And dancing and dancing
And dancing and dancing
And dancing and dancing
Mine’s on the RPM

The lyrics are fun.  The song is quite catchy.  And the chorus just makes you chuckle (everybody needs a bosom for a pillow). 

I can't believe my father has told me not once but TWICE that I should sport a girdle because my pregnancy fat hasn't gone away.  Now you know where I get my bluntness from.  But I'll give him the benefit of the doubt since he's a MAN who has no brains that it takes time for a WOMAN to get her womanly figure back (or in my case, beer belly).  Men out there who read my blog, take note-

 

 

But that's okay.  He's my father and he's in his 50s who can be insensitive (but means well) at times.  I don't take it in any offense.  I've learned at an early age to ignore my father's comments.  Now if it were Phil who said that, you can bet that I would have knee'd him good.  But Phil is a lot smarter than my father in this department.  You just gotta learn to shut your mouth about the fatness.  And have some tact!!!

 

Great news though- I CAN FIT INTO MY NON-PREGNANCY KNICKERS (undies, panties)!  So exciting.  I was getting tired of wearing those grandma-over-my-portly-belly-undies.  I still can't wear my regular trousers, so unfortunately pregnancy pants are still what I'm donning.  And pregnancy tops.  Ugh. 

 

I'm glad to be back wearing a real bra too.  I'm tired of wearing nursing bras (they were comfy, but zero support).  It's bad enough my breasts are like hanging down to my pot belly, so I'll need all the underwire strength to hold it up like I'm in my mid-20s again.  I take a lot of pride in my boobs.  Next to my legs and feet (according to the dirty old men out there), they are (or were) my prized possessions. 

 

And I am about to quit pumping milk.  I just find it a total fucking nuisance and inconvenience.  With Sophia constantly running into the room, badgering me, "What are you doing, Mommy?  Pumping???!!!"  It's just driving me nuts.  I grew up on formula.  And I came out just fine.  Just a lil' crazy and loony, but healthy at least.  And I'm dying to have a glass of any alcoholic beverage.  And all the foods that make you very farty (cabbage, broccoli, cauliflower, spinach).  The one thing I haven't gotten back from this pregnancy are my breasts (okay, and my body too, but this will be in due time).  SO I WANT THEM BACK NOW!

 

It is absolutely gorgeous out there.  High 60s.  Not quite sunny, but it'll do.  Too bad I haven't gone yet.  I will though, when the gals wake up from their nap.  Toodles!

Been unavailable for the past few days thanks to Phil downloading a virus on a message board.  Real smart, bozo. 

 

On the bright side, Sophia has sorta been back to normal.  As long as I spend time with her alone for at least an hour out of the house, she's a happy camper.  The other day, she says to the nanny "Mommy takes care of the baby and the nanny takes care of Sophia."  Hmm.

 

Do you know how I know when Sophia's pissed?  When she doesn't talk to you, kiss you or even acknowledge you.  Remember when we were kids and we gave "silent treatments" to the ones we hated?  Well, her silent treatments are just as mean.  And she's good at ignoring you too.  She's one mean bitch and I mean it in a good way.  That's definitely not coming from me- it's 100% grandma if you can believe it.

 

I cannot wait for baseball season to start (WBC does NOT count).  Baseball equals basking in the warm sun (depending where your seats are).  Baseball equals 162 games, not including playoffs.  Baseball equals the smell of freshly cut grass, beer in one hand, hotdog or pretzel in another and the sound of peanut shells crunching in your hand.  Bring on the pitchers beaming the hitters.  Bring on the steriods controversy (Bonds soo did it).  Bring on the idiot, Red Sox nation team (oh wait, that idiot is on the Yanks now, haaa).  Bring on the 20th anniversary of the Mets World Series win (Ron Darling- BABELICIOUS).  Bring life back to me.  'Cuz that's baseball does...something for me to look forward to everyday!

 

Donnie Baseball...Louisana Lightin'...Tony, Larry...Welcome back Lee. 

 

LET'S GO YANKEES! 

(RIP Puckett)

Today I decided to spend some quality time with Sophia, something I haven't done in over a month.  I figure we needed some time alone together and to get out of the house for a bit.  We gave my mother a lift to work and headed to Buy Buy Baby for a return.  I let Sophia choose a book (she picked Dora of course) on one condition- that she should be a good girl from now on.  She said okay.  It was beginning to turn out to be a nice day with her.

 

After BBB, we walked to Whole Foods to pick up some food, then drove to Union Square for a return at Babies 'R Us.  We went to Barnes and Noble to buy another book, but ended up buying a toy instead (it teaches her how to tell time since she's always asking us "What time is it?").  We headed back home since I was forced to participate in the "moon yurt".  Sophia catnapped on the way back home.

 

When I got home, my grandparents, Phil's parents, my father, my sister in-law, Janice and niece, Jessica were all here waiting for me.  I wanted no participation in this- I did not want to witness them cutting (supposedly shaving) the baby's hair.  Jessica had to participate in carrying the baby too.  Don't ask me what this all means.  I have no idea and have no wish to follow this weird custom.

 

At this point, I'm exhausted and running on low fuel.  But I make an attempt to troop on.  Sophia was literally running amok, throwing her puzzles pieces and other toys everywhere.  Listening to everyone yap in Chinese was beginning to take a toll on my ears.  At this point, I just wanted to lie in bed with earplugs on. 

 

After everyone had left (two hours later, gawd), Sophia finally ate her lunch.  She refused to cooperate earlier when everyone was around.  Infact, she was just darn right naughty.  We tried to get her to nap over an hour, but she refused to listen.  She was throwing her books out of her shelf.  Running around the house.  Spending A LOT of time in the corner.  The more I slapped her ass, the more she laughed.  It was as if she enjoyed being bad.  She didn't give a shit that it was hurting me more than it was hurting her.  And that infuriated me even more.  Nanny (Thank God for her) decided to give her a bath and take her out for a walk.  I went to bed, extremely frustrated and upset.  I coudn't fall asleep with everything that had happened.  I had to cry it out. 

 

What the hell happened to the sweet, well-behaved, darling daughter I once had?   Who is this rotten child that lives here?  She refuses to listen to me.  She's not even afraid of me anymore.  I think PastryMom needs to revise this on her blog, "Linda's journal on bringing up Sophia, a much better behaved version of toddlerhood and Linda manages to have a life" 'cuz this no longer exists here! 

 

My guess is she's jealous of Olivia.  And the lack of attention.  My hope is, this was just a bad day for all of us.

My sisters are always chillin' with the stars.  This is what Judy wrote to me yesterday-

We saw Don Cheadle, Joaquin Phoenix, Julia Stiles, and Kim and I met
the guitarist from modern english just by smoking upstairs...he wanted to grub a stog...

Guitarist - would you have a cigarette?
Me - depends...how much you got
Guitarist - aw, I'll buy you a drink

I pull out Honduran stogies and he thinks they're Newports, says, ew, etc. until I explain. His "manager" says, that's cool (or that should be interesting or something like that), so he takes, he smokes. they ask how it is downstairs and kim said depends. i say it's sane downstairs. kim says, are you here to see celebrities (or something like that) - really nonchalant. they're like "don't you know who we are?" - I'm like "who? who?" and said, "I knew you were someone when you got out of the car" (you know how you can just tell??) the "manager" says, "I'll sing it to you" - "I'll stop the world and melt with you" and I scream (remember, I'm wasted) -

MODERN ENGLISH! OMG! THAT'S MY GENERATION! fuck, i am such a dork when i'm drunk...LOL when sober, I know I wouldn't have been that way...I think..... I usually don't like to play into their egos. so any way - we head down - i never got that drink. kim and i just went back to where we were seated and those guys got their drink at the bar and walked to the back and stood there for a while - i don't even think they made it into the "VIP" backroom...har.

a few weeks ago I was there and we saw Sean Penn.

Did you know Tim Robbins will pass Kim and do a hi-five type slap with her - it's kinda funny to see. very casual - no one stops walking - they just keep going.. :)

Today I received a warming phone call from a friend (and yesterday, a phone call from my cousin).  Here I am, bitching about how rough it is to handle a toddler AND a newborn and then realizing, I shouldn't bitch about it with her.  Why?  She and her husband has been trying for years and sadly, I don't think she can have one (she had an operation done years ago and it affected her internally).  What a major doofus I felt.  I got off the subject immediately and chatted about girly stuff we enjoy doing- yoga, waxing, getting our eyebrows done, facials, spas and vacations she and her husband were going.  After I hung up, I felt a lot better.  I really miss having REAL conversations with adults, not chatting about baby this and that all day.

 

It's the little stuff in life that makes me happy these days.