Sophia's been sick for over a week now.  After school on Thursday, we took her to see another pediatrician (her regular doc was on vacation).  He said she had an allergy and prescribed her medication.  She didn't go to school on Friday (and spent the day with her grandparents).  It's now Monday and she hasn't gotten any better (she's staying in AGAIN).  Now it sounds like she has a bad cold/cough! 

 

In addition to her being sick, now Olivia is sick.  Just great.  Last night she woke up at 11:30p, jolting me out of my sleep.  I had a difficult time falling back asleep and probably didn't until after 1a.  Then I woke up again at around 5:30a to her crying.  She was congested and coughing.  Gave her milk and medicine.  Luckily she went back to sleep. 

 

Oh wait, the best part is, I HAVE NO NANNY THIS WEEK.  She's vacationing in Florida.  Greeeeeeeeeeat.

It's punishingly hot outside and all I want is to beat the traffic to go to an air-conditioned Target.  Instead, I'm stuck listening to a crying, tantrum throwing three year old who refuses to listen to me.  My blood is boiling at this point.  So what do I do?  I throw her sorry ass into the recycled garbage can (Oh relax, I didn't really throw her in nor did I really gently put her in).  Boy, you should have seen her bewildered eyes.  She really didn't think I'd leave her in there for that split second.  (Where was Phil?  I had to tell him to get out of the house, she will not listen because Daddy's little girl knows he will save her sorry ass.)

 

After the garbage incident, she calmed down and did as I told her to (to you it may be minute, but it was just a toy that needed to be picked up- it's the principle), we jetted off.  FINALLY!  She was back to the old Sophia that I once knew- the sweet, happy, fun loving child that I love.  Phil and Olivia stayed home.  She napped in the car, which was a huge mistake because when we came back, she didn't want to take a nap.  Combine that with Sophia being around Phil, she was slowly warming up to her antics once again.  I wanted my peace and quiet (O was napping), so I had to throw the both of them out of the house.  

 

Lately, Sophia's tantrum throwing has become absolutely insane and uncontrollable.  The funny thing is, she ONLY blows up whenever Phil's around.  Phil can't control her.  He's the softy.  The "good guy" (as if?).  The good guy who has no clue how to discipline a child (or even anyone for that matter).  I tell him not to do (whatever it is) and what does he do?  He does the complete opposite!  I tell him not to give into her demands.  What does he do?  He caves in!  MOTHERFUCKER!  WHAT DID I JUST SAY!  He drives me insane!!!  Sometimes I just want to kick him in the head to put the kink back in his brains and see if that will help him be on the same page as me (as if that were simple).  By him giving into Sophia's demands only exacerbates the situation and he just doesn't see it.  How blind can you be?  How weak can you be?  This is why she goes haywire.  Because she knows she could get away with murder whenever he is around.  He really needs to take a discipline101 class. 

 

I don't usually post my dirty laundry up, but this needs to be said:

 

Somebody in my household has been calling me A FUCKING BITCH.  Not just once.  A few times.  Without apologizing at all.  TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE.

 

Maybe reading this post will give you a hint to go seek therapy.

I've been wracking my brains for the past few days about what I should do about Sophia and her school situation.  I've spoken to the principal yesterday, explained about how Sophia feels and she said she would speak to Sophia's teachers on how to make her feel more secure and loved in school (btw, there was no parents day conference yesterday- so why the fuck did they put it on the calendar schedule???).  I had a bit of a nagging feeling that that isn't the problem when I left the school in the morning.  Something was wrong.  By the time I picked Sophia up from school, I figured it out-

 

IT'S THE BLOODY FUCKING TEACHER. 

 

Sophia refuses to say goodbye to her.  Even to acknowledge her makes Sophia burst out in tears.  She won't even look her in the eye.  The girl just plain out dislikes her.  Who could blame her when the teacher hardly even pays attention to her?  And when the teacher does take notice in her, she probably says something to Sophia that triggered off a shutdown mode.

 

I think the class is probably too large for Sophia to handle (there's supposedly 27 children with one head teacher, two teacher assistants and three student volunteers).  Even the nanny commented this morning on how there were too many kids there and no teacher in sight.  All these crying kids and not one adult to comfort the kids.

 

So on that note, I'm going to withdraw her from the school.  When one door shuts, one door opens.

 

My girlfriend Karen (who has two kids), mentioned a friend of hers (Monica) told her there's a spot open where she sends her twins to school.  The program is three times a week, with an option of full or half days and only 15 children in the classroom with one head teacher and one teacher assistant.  The program director was nice enough to offer me to bring Sophia to the classroom to get a feel of it.

 

This new school could be a good solution. 

Because I wasn't feeling well, my parents took Sophia in for the night.  When my mother dropped Sophia off to school, she noticed the teacher saw her, but didn't acknowledge Sophia and just turned away.  No cheery hellos and hugs.  And if anyone knows my mother, well, she ain't to be reckoned with (gee, is that where I got my personality from?).  She automatically went to the admissions director (whom we kinda know) and told her how unacceptable it was for the teacher to not welcome her and how she needs to handle Sophia's sensitive needs. 

 

The teacher is rather young, maybe in her early to mid-20s.  She seems to chat up with other parents/caregivers more in Chinese.  I noticed in the beginning how the teacher was not very receptive towards Sophia.  I thought perhaps one of the kids distracted her from welcoming Sophia.  Or maybe she was in the middle of something.  But now it's the end the second week and still no sign of her warming to Sophia.  I'm kinda guessing she's got issues either with us or with Sophia.  And it needs to be dealt with out on the table.  Thank God for parents day on Monday.

 

The other day, I did tell the teacher how sensitive Sophia can be.  She looked at me and smiled.  Umm, right.  DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT, TEACHER.  I'M PAYING YOUR PEARLY WHITES BITCH.  Just the other day the teacher said to me, kinda complaining aloud, "Can you imagine opening 26 milk containers?"  I was a bit appalled, thinking, well, these are 3 year olds here, not 5 or 6 year olds.  Like hello, they're not exactly self-sufficient in that department.  But I said back to her in a rather smart ass way, "Actually, 27, one for yourself too."  Girlfriend needs to change her attitude...or better yet, learn to keep those comments to herself.

 

I knew something was really wrong when Sophia would tell me how she doesn't like her teacher.  Bringing up the teacher's name is even worse.  She just breaks down and cry.  And how she wants to go to another class.  Or better yet, how she AVOIDS talking or being near the teacher.  The sight of her makes her upset. 

 

At this point I would like to put her into another school for September.  Even if it's a half day session.  But being that it's already July, it's too late.  And Phil who is the non-confrontational and ever so diplomatic, believes we shouldn't say anything and just let Sophia stick it out for a little bit more since she's been there for only 12 days. 

 

By then, Sophia could be emotionally scarred and could end up with  school phobia. 

I have an upper respiratory infection. 

 

I just hope I don't infect the girls or Phil with this.  Or my nanny!!!!

went to the doc's this morning and found out i have a throat infection.  looks like i'll be taking a coctail of drugs for the next few days and will be out of commission.  lovely. 

 

well, at least the weather isn't as humid...

You have a kid who goes to school and he/she gets sick, you're bound to get sick as well.  So guess what?  I'm sick AGAIN.  I think this time I have a flu- my body is a bit achey, I'm feeling pretty weak and exhausted.  My tonsils hurt, I've got some phlegm buildup and bit of a cough. 

 

Damn kids and their germs.

A quick update on Sophia's situation on school- she hasn't cried in two days!  Problem though, she refuses to nap at 12:30p which causes her to be Miss Maniac by the time 7-8p rolls by (she generally naps on the weekends around 1:30/2p).  To encourage her to not cry, I made a little calendar (through Outlook) for her and put a happy face sticker or draw a cry baby face.  I think it helps her see that she's a good trooper for going to school.  Plus we promised to buy her a Dora schoolbag for being a good girl.  Sure they sell it everywhere, but those are HUGE on Sophia.  I'm sure they sell one for pre-schoolers.  I'll probably search for it online tomorrow.

 

Oh, and last week I decided to test out my cooking skills.  I made Korean dinner- inari sushi and kim bap.  Mine weren't as yummy as the way my mother makes both of them, but they were certainly edible.  Today was way too hot and humid for the nanny to cook (more like stir-fry- my kitchen is beginning to get nasty sticky from it- I HATE IT!), so I decided to make bibimbap and inari sushi again.   Again, it was nothing compared to my mother's cooking.  It was a lot of prep work involved.  No wonder my mother doesn't like to make it!

Because our weekend trip to Lancaster was shot, I decided to make up for it by having burgers and hot dogs for dinner.  Since our complex does not allow propane or charcoal BBQ's, I came up with a brilliant idea to BBQ with my George Foreman grill off my balcony.  We had the most ghetto-style BBQ one ever imagine.  I ran to my father's house and borrowed his Foreman grill so that way the cooking time would be quicker.   I used an old milk crate to prop the two grills up (no, I don't have a small table, I know, how weird).  Voila!

 

I invited Julie, Junko, Kenn, Judy and Rolly.  Everyone was invited  spur of the moment.  We had burgers (ground beef mixed with the onion mix and garlic), hot dogs, squash, mesclun salad (with cherry tomatoes, cukes and endives) and Corona (sans lime).  When Judy and Rolly came back from their fishing trip out in Long Island, they brought over steamers they dug, striped bass that Judy caught and a bottle of wine.  The steamers were really, really good and fresh.  Eating them always reminds me of summertime when I was a kid.  Everyone shared laughs and stories late into the evening even when the girls were fast asleep.  We had to kick them out when it was almost 1a (waaaaaay past our bedtime)!

 

Phil and I had so much fun, we decided we should do this again.  So we went out and bought a much bigger grill.   Now we just need to find a proper table...

We're back home now.  We were in Lancaster, PA for the weekend, but turns out, Sophia was coughing ALL NIGHT (we suspect it's bronchitis).  So we packed our bags at 12:30a and got home at 3:15a.  Olivia was such a good baby, she slept through the whole ordeal.  We rented a house with my friend, Linda and her family, but they didn't get there until 1:30a.  

 

The house has a nice pool in the backyard with a BBQ grill.  And a jacuzzi in one of the bedrooms!  Didn't try either of them.  Wah!  Down note on the house- it's located off a major road, so everytime a tractor truck drives by, it rattles the entire house.  It felt like the bed was literally parked out on the road!  Between Sophia coughing and the house being shook, I couldn't fall asleep. 

 

So yeah, we're back from our little excursion. 

Ever since we had Sophia sleep with us, I've been noticing some of her weird habits.  She GRINDS her teeth quite often.  She talks in her sleep too!  And sweats like a dog even with the air conditioner on with barely anything covering her.  Strange child.

 

One of the teacher assistant's knows Kim (they went to school together).  What a small world!  I hope this means she will take extra care of Sophia.  Right now, she needs more reassurance from her class to make her feel more wanted.  I noticed she has a tendency to NOT talk in class.  The minute she comes home, she's all chatterbox, jumping around like a maniac.  I asked her why doesn't she talk in school and she froze when I said the word, "SCHOOL" as if I said the dirty C-*-N-T word. 

 

She also needs to learn to take what's hers.  Yesterday some kid sat on a chair that she pulled out.  I had to refrain Kim from knocking the kid off the chair (we noticed he's the class bully- he was pushing all the kids out of the way to get in front of the bathroom line).

 

We found the seal!  It was hidden in one of the kid's cubbies. 

 

And you know what happens when kids in school are bunched up together...THEY GET SICK.  She was coughing all night.  Wonderful.  That means we're all bound to get sick really soon.  UGH.  And just in time for our weekend jaunt.  Will recap where we're off to on Monday.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Day three in pre-k and it took forever, I mean, FOREVER to calm Sophia down.  Mondays are the worse.  I think I made it worse when I had the nanny walk to school with us.  And when I told the nanny to leave, MY MOTHER shows up!  Fuuuuuuuck.  My mother stayed for about fifteen minutes and I told her to go.  She tells Sophia she's going to work and Sophia breaks down again.  I stayed up until it was gym time for her.  At that point, she started to break down again.  I told her to give me a big hug and kiss and that I would see her later after her nap in school.  I don't think she's going to nap.  Infact, I could picture her sitting in front of the door, waiting for me.  Sigh. 

 

And we couldn't find seal.  Uh oh.

So after many conversations and crying about school over the weekend, she is going to school again to:

 

a)find seal (she left her seal doll at school)

b)that everytime she misses us, she can look at her heart sticker on her hand to remind her that we are thinking of her

c)the nanny and Olivia will meet her at the park (they have an outing there)

d)I will pick her up early everyday, so she can nap at home

 

But she wants to make one thing clear- SHE HATES HER TEACHER.

Long story short, Sophia is not a happy camper at school.  From what the teacher assistant said, after her nap, she started to cry for an hour and waited for me by the door.  By the time my mother came to pick her up, she was fine and told her she wasn't ready to leave.  I thought that was a good sign.  And so I thought...

 

By the time the evening wore on, she was constantly crying, telling my mother she didn't want to go back to school.  And saying her tummy hurts (but this ailment has been going on for the past month).  I think it could be anxiety and separation issues.  But she also threw up twice in the car within the past month, so I don't know if she's faking her illnesses (she's too damn young to be a bulimic anorexia!).  Infact, she didn't want me around.  She wanted my mother.  Then we left my parent's place, she wanted Phil.  But having Phil's attention is normal (whenever he's home, she only wants him). 

 

She could be mad at me for leaving her.  But I told her I would be back to pick her up!!!  I don't give the quick goodbye's and dash out.  I make sure she's adjusted then I leave.  Maybe if I were to pick her up early so she doesn't have a meltdown.  I do have to admit the classes are rather long for 3 year olds- the earliest time a parent can pick up their child is at 5p!  But my mother says that half of Sophia's class was already gone, so maybe I will take her out early instead of later.  And each day I'll gradually work on taking her out later.  I'll have to talk to the teacher on Monday...if Sophia will let me take her back to school.  Bad enough we left her seal doll at school.  She was pretty pissed about that.

 

Anyhows, I've done some researching online to see what I can do to relieve her separation anxiety issues.  There were some suggestions to which I have already done.  There are also some books I can read to her.  Maybe rent a DVD on it. 

 

I'm quite surprised Sophia is not adjusting well to school.  She's generally quite upbeat, happy, curious and excited about new things.  But yet again, she's extremely sensitive and has a tendency to be a drama queen.  She can easily be coaxed though, if the deal on the table is to her favor.  Sigh.  Who knew it would be this difficult?

When Phil and I went to pick Sophia up from school, she ecstatic and relieved to see us.  According to her teacher, she hadn't really asked for me or Phil until she heard one of her classmates shout for their mother.  Then she started to inquire for me too.  Infact, the teacher said she started packing her backpack (this was during snacktime) and told the teacher she was going home.  That cracked me up.

 

Before we left the school, I was changing Sophia's clothes (originally she was wearing a long sleeveless dress, but I put a t-shirt and long pants on her).  When I took her pants off, I had her sit on my lap.  She tinkled a bit on my pants.  Phil quickly ushered her to the bathroom and said her pee was pretty darn long.  She must have not asked any of the teachers she had to use the bathroom.

 

At home, she asked me to write some words on paper- clothes, ice cream, hands, alphabet and numbers.  I guess after seeing the words attached to the object at school, she wanted me to do the same for home.  That will be our project this weekend. 

 

Also, she didn't drink enough water throughout the day.  She was so parched, she chugged a quarter of her water bottle .   When we got home, she drank the entire (kiddie) cup of mango juice.  We tried to feed her dinner, but she wasn't interested in eating.  Infact, all she wanted was RICE.  That's right, RICE, the most hated food (next to eggs) on her list.  She didn't even want a piece of tomato or pie gwut (mini-ribs), both of which she LOVES.  An hour later, I gave her snack (strawberries and blueberries) and milk and she only managed to drink a quarter of it.  Totally uncharacteristic of her.

 

Sophia is normally in bed at around 9:30-10p.  But she won't fall asleep until after 10p, you know, with the whole song and dance routine of wanting water, wanting to pee, any frickin' excuse to get out of her bed.  But this time, Phil laid next to her and she passed out within 5-10 minutes at 9:15p.  I mean, O-U-T.  That was how exhausted she was.

 

This morning, she was weepy once again.  When I reminded her we had to get ready to go get breakfast and then go to school, she was wide-eyed and said, "AGAIN?!"  I feared she was going to tell me there was no way in hell she was stepping out of the house ever.  But we laid in bed, talked about school, her classmates (to which she asked where's Chloe?) and other things and in 15 minutes, she says to me, "Mommy, time to get up".  Phew.

 

Since the nanny doesn't work on Fridays, I had to schlep Olivia along  in the Baby Bjorn (the stroller would have been a hassle).  I had my mother meet us at the school once again and Sophia of course was very happy to see her.  She asked me, "How do you say fai dee (which means hurry up in Chinese) in Paw Paw's talk (meaning, language)?"  I said, "Bah-li Bah-li!"  And as we headed to school, she laughed, held onto my mother's hand and said "Bah-li Bah-li Paw Paw!" 

 

As we stepped into her classroom, Sophia became quiet and tense.  She didn't want us to leave.  She was on the verge of crying when she asked my mother to stay.  We had no choice but to say okay.  I was alittle worried she wouldn't let us leave. 

 

My mother chatted away with her about the toys in the classroom, trying to calm her nerves.  I asked her where she sat and she pointed to it, but a box was sitting on top of her name plate (it was taped onto the desk).  She said to me, "What happened" as in, "Where is my name?"  I moved the box and said, "There it is!"  I was surprised she remembered where she sits.  Her classmate Chloe walked in when my mother and I was about to leave.  I told Sophia, "Remember when you asked Mommy where Chloe was?  Well, here she is!"  I gave her a big hug and kiss and said that grandmama was going to pick her up (she requested for her) later.  She said okay and went about playing with clay.

 

Let's see how day two fared...

 

Sophia's first day at school didn't exactly start off well.  Around 2:30a, Sophia woke us up shouting her tummy hurts (she's been sleeping in our room with us for the past month, but that will soon change).  This morning around 7ish, she woke me up claiming she has a bellyache again.  Then she cried and pouted for about 15 minutes.   I think she was nervous about her first day in school (an indication that she is EXACTLY LIKE HER FATHER!).  I finally got her to calm down after hugging her and talking about school.  I quickly dressed her and helped her brush her teeth.  The nanny came in and she started to cry again.  More hugs and kisses from the nanny.  Ten minutes later, we were out the door.

 

She was back to her usual self, humming and chatting away when we walked to school to get breakfast.  Then I asked her if she wanted to see grandma before she went to school.  She said yes, so I called my mom and had her meet us at the school. 

 

When Sophia saw the school, she had a bit of a hop in her step as if she was excited and anxious to go.  And when we walked into her classroom, she literally bolted to the toys.  Not even a single word to me or my mom.  I placed her bag in her cubby and looked for Sophia.  She was all over the classroom, wanting to paint, play in the play kitchen, roll out the clay, touch this and that, etc.  She was everywhere, she didn't even know where to begin! 

 

I have to admit I was probably a bit nervous about leaving Sophia.  I explained twice if she had to use the bathroom that she needed to ask one of the teachers to help her (there is one head teacher, two adult assistants and three student assistants).  And I told her where her bag, blanket, water and snacks was stored.  I must have said bye to her at least half a dozen times before I really left.  And you know what, she could have cared less.  I am lucky though, one of Sophia's classmate was found roaming in the hallway, crying for her mother.  Another kid was screaming violently in the classroom.  Oy.

 

As I told Phil over the phone, it's not the first or second day that determines the separation anxiety.  Those two days, it's all new to her.  But eventually the whole novelty of going to school will fade and she might tell us she would prefer to stay home with Olivia and the nanny.  Then I'll have to break it to her that she's in life prison until she's 21 (insert evil laugh).  Nah, I have confidence she is going to  love being at school.

 

Oh my goodness...my baby is all grown up!!!

We didn't do much over the 4th of July weekend.  We shopped at Jersey Gardens outlet (where I literally flipped out when Sophia pissed in her undies and shorts while sitting in a rented car stroller AND lost her sunglasses that I love), shopped at Target and Shoprite.  We BBQ'd with our neighbors (the building sponsored it).  Sophia had free lunch at our alma mater (PastryDad's name is still up on the plaque).  Sophia and Phil went to the Meadowlands carnival.  And tonight we watched the fireworks off our balcony (front row seats!). 

 

We pretty much stayed local otherwise.  Plus it was just WAY TOO FRICKIN' HUMID for Olivia (my hair has been in total disarray).  But still, it was nice, it was low key and we spent time with each other despite of wanting to strangle Phil and Sophia.  In a way, I'm glad the holiday is over with.  I had enough of Sophia's whining, which only happens when Daddy push-over graces us with his presence.  Infact, Phil has taught her to tell me to go to work and Daddy stay home.  Hey, as if I want to stay home all day and be a frickin' servant to three kids (that includes Phil)?  Shiiiet, I have much better things to do! 

Sophia hasn't even started her pre-k schol yet and I'm already a bit peeved about her lunch situation.  I bumped into a mother who's older children has attended the same school (and the younger one starts the same time as Sophia).  She raved about how well the children learn but can't understand why parents can't pack the children lunch.  She said her older children would often come home hungry.  It's bad enough Sophia is underweight!  I can't have her starving all day. 

 

The lunches are provided by the NYC Dept of Education (which gives out free breakfast and lunch in the summer).  I don't know about you, but it's horrible!  What three year old wants to eat dry, soggy wheat buns?  Or Jamaican beef patties?  Even hospital food is waaaay better (believe me, I would know, I stayed in the hospital for at least 15 days in the past three years).  I noticed there's a lot of beef in the menu.  Sophia HATES beef.  And she HATES eggs (don't even try to sneak it in her food, she knows it's there).  And what if the child is a vegetarian?  Or if the child has a certain allergy like eggs or peanuts?  Then what?   Tough shit?

 

Come September, we'll have to shell out lunch money (it's based upon your income).  Now, if Sophia's NOT going to eat this crap, WHY AM I THROWING AWAY MONEY WHEN SHE WON'T EAT IT?  I'd rather spend the time to make something nutritious.  At least I know she'll eat it too. 

 

Looks like I'm gonna have a friendly chat with the principal come Thursday...