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Thursday, August 31, 2006
Worked Four Days and Mama is B-E-A-T
I am alive, but so exhausted. Mentally and physically. I'll summarize more on the temp job, Sophia and
Olivia tomorrow.
Friday, August 25, 2006
Minor Movin' On
Despite of the crap I'm going through, I've managed to force myself to join the gym AND find a temporary
full-time job for a commercial spot company. I start Monday and it lasts until Friday. If things work well
between us, she will hire me on a on-call basis to help her when she's in town (the main office is based in CA). I will
be doing basic office work from her loft home, walking the dog (it's a little Yorkie, aww) and probably run some errands
for her. She even said when it gets slow, I could do quiet work in-between tasks. The great thing is, it's walking
distance from my apartment! Yay! It is small pay, but it'll do for now.
No major breakthroughs although we have been having conversations (if you can call it conversations) or revelations.
Some recaps:
- I am in some sort of "isolation containment mode" (what is this some sort of fucking military operation in the house?)
because he's protecting himself.
- Instead talking about HIS feelings, he was putting words in my mouth about how I was feeling. I didn't know I had
a spokesperson for me.
- We haven't really come to any conclusions because he hasn't made a decision. YET he himself can never make
any decisions on his own because he says I'm choking him (that's because he's sooo indecisive).
- He says I was the one who was supposed to change after his addiction (no, it's not drugs or alcohol).
Wait a minute, why am I supposed to change when it's HIM who's has the addiction?
- He has been such a major crutch to his older sister and her two children. How long will it take before he realizes
he needs to learn to NOT do things for them? When do Sophia, Olivia and I come first? We are and should be HIS
ONLY PRIORITY.
There were more things, but I can't remember it all.
BTW, many thanks to my sisters, Julie, Lyn, Drew, Dane, Robin, Grace and Winnie who has been great supporters.
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
One More Thing...
Several times I've caught him perusing through Craigslist.com and Yahoo's personals. I asked him what ever possessed
him to search and he said, "To see if I know anyone." WHAT THE...that is such a sad ass excuse.
Now why in the world would you do that unless you're not happy?
Weekender in RI that went sour
We drove to our friend's (T and J) house in RI Thursday night. We got there in pretty good timing- alittle
after midnight. After we had set up the portable playpen for O, she went right back to sleep. Sophia on the other
hand was giving us a bit of agita. Maybe it was because we were in a new environment and she got excited and couldn't
fall back asleep (she did sleep in the car on the ride to RI). I slept in a separate room from the three of them and
boy did I have great sleep. Zero interruptions. Unfortunately that was short lived as I had to bunk with them
the next few days because our friend B also came up to hang for the weekend.
Friday we beached, Saturday and Sunday we pooled. We BBQ'd. We had wine and beers. T and I went to
Super Wal-Mart and I went nuts in the arts and crafts section- the scrapbook section was sooo much better than Target's
(yes, I love to scrapbook, but I have to be in the right mood). According to Phil, O had a great time in the pool (she
sat in a baby floater), she napped for almost 3.5 hours! Sophia seems to enjoy the beach much more than the pool.
Maybe because she enjoys rock/shelling? I hate it because she gets sand all over her crotch area and it's so hard to
clean it out. Ugh.
Anyhows, I was having a good time in RI up until Phil decided to NOT ask me if I wanted to stay an extra night/day
just so he could go fishing. What...did my opinion not count? What if I had other plans? T had to get back
into the city because of work on Monday. B who didn't have to go back to work until late Monday evening, offered to
drive her back home. T's husband wanted to stay with Phil to fish. But somehow, I was left OUT of the decision
making. And THAT was what ticked me off. Oh wait, that wasn't the cake topper. There's more dirty laundry
to be aired...
While Phil and J returned from fishing, Phil received a phone call on his cell. I went to take a look to see who
was calling him at 10:45a. I thought maybe it was one of his family member. On the contact name, it flashed some
woman's name whom I kinda know was conversing with Phil on e-mail before. I don't know her, never met her, but I do
know she does not work with Phil. Nor did I ever knew she was also calling him (I wonder how long this has been going
on). Then I noticed the area code- 303. That's Colorado. Now what THE FUCK DOES SHE WANT FROM MY
HUSBAND AT 8:45a HER TIME? Now I'm fucking fuming. Do I call her back and yell at this cunt?
Instead, I counted to 10 (more like 100) and figure I'll confront him first and see what he says. Of course, he
says he doesn't know why she's calling him. He then says, maybe she wants to say hi. Uhh, at 8:45a? Yesterday
I told him he should call her and tell her not to call OR e-mail him again, right now, in front of me. Instead, he deletes
her name (and why the fuck did he decide to keep her contact info on his cell?). Like that does any good? She's
still gonna call and e-mail! He took the easy way out, as usual, and possibly trying to sneak his way out of this situation.
Not so fast, asshole. I have her phone number (and someone else has it too, incase someone decides to rifle through
my phone). I'm just deciding when to call and what to say to that cunt.
He's always so secretive and elusive. He makes decisions without asking if I have any opinion. What
happened to working as a team? Husband and wife? He doesn't even make an effort to make conversations with me.
I feel that I can't trust him anymore. There's no reassurance, no comforting words, no nothing. It's as if the
cat caught his tongue. Is this how a marriage of almost eight years should be? COMMUNICATION IS KEY TO A HAPPY
MARRIAGE, DICK HEAD.
It's no fucking wonder I've been stressed out to the max. This problem has been going on for months, ever
since Olivia has been born. And since he's not a man to talk things out, she just loooves to sweep shit under the rug,
thinking the problem will go away. Little does he know, the problem begins to fester like mold and it spreads like wildfire.
CONFRONT THE SITUATION AND FIX IT, ASSHOLE!
It's like I'm living with a roommate or a stranger. I don't know who he is anymore. Just because
you wash one fucking measly bottle, throw the garbage away, give Sophia a bath AND read to her doesn't get you a
"Best Dad" award. I could give a shit if you're tired and worked all day. SO HAVE I. Being a parent
is an everyday, every minute job. LIVE WITH IT and DEAL WITH IT.
I told him we needed to seek family therapy. You know what he told me? That it was I who
needed help, not him. He's got some nerve. I am not the one with the problem. I don't go sneaking
around behind his back. I don't have any secret agendas. I am all about honesty and the truth. I'll tell
it like it is...you are reading this afterall, aren't you?????
My solution? Just get the fuck out of the house if you don't agree to getting help. You've got so many
chicks calling you several times a week, I'm sure one of them is willing to put up with your sorry,
sad ass. I don't need you to bring me and my girls down.
Thursday, August 17, 2006
Visit the School
Yesterday Sophia and I visited the potential "new" school. I spoke to the teacher assistant while Sophia played
in the classroom. A half hour later, the class was getting ready to go to the park. I decided we take
a walk with them and have Sophia play with the kids. I thought they were going to the park across from the school,
but instead, they took the kids to a park that's located IN THE PROJECTS.
Okay, maybe some of you may think, "So what? What's the big deal? It's only the projects." Right.
I lived in NYC practically all of my life and I know better to NOT bring my kids to play at the projects playground.
You just don't know if there will be some kind of gun-toting psycho shooting his ex-girlfriend's boyfriend at the projects.
Why do you think NYPD has a separate cop patrol there? Yuh-huh. It's called HOUSING BUREAU (PSA).
Thought so.
Anyhoos, while we were traipsing to the park, I noticed DOG SHIT all over the sidewalk. The teacher who was directing
the kids (who were holding a rope), was fucking clueless about it. I had to tell her the kids were stomping on dog shit.
Good Lord. That did it for me. There goes that idea of putting her at school number two.
I am at the point where it is useless to enroll her in part-time (or even full-time) school. It's already late
in the season. Instead, I'm going to look into music and art classes. And if I happen to find a job, I'll just
have my father drop her off at the classes. *snort* We'll see if that theory works.
Some other things that are going on:
- Olivia's two bottom teeth have sprouted (since two weeks ago)
- Everytime Olivia sees us eating, she wants some too (fat pig)
- She doesn't want her milk (perhaps she's teething)
- We put her in the exersaucer and she seems to like it
- We returned the busted bouncer seat she manhandled with her feet
- O can hold her bottle for a lengthy time by herself BUT has a tendency to just bite the nipple (because she's teething)
- I made O baby food by steaming sweet potatoes and using a handmade food mill) - it's hard work!
We're leaving tonight for a long weekend trip to our friend's house in RI. Cheers!
Monday, August 14, 2006
Weekend Fun
This weekend, Phil and I took turns spending time with the girls separately. It wasn't planned or anything, it
just happened that way. On Saturday, I was invited to my friend Annie and Jason's baby shower at her palatial mansion house
in Cortlandt Manor. I drove to Junko's house with Julie and Sophia. Then we waited for Elizabeth to join us on
the road trip in Junko's car.
Food was delicious (although I didn't like the frozen processed burgers). Even Sophia was scarfing down cherry
tomatoes and carrots from the crudite platter. We stayed for dinner and had kalbi. It was deeelicious! The dessert platter was probably the highlight- rice krispies with M&M's and brownies.
MMM...
Sophia had a lot of fun playing with Daisy, the maltese. And she played with 2 year old Vivian (and Sophia managed
to make her cry by grabbing the frisbee first). They even shared a chair (on their own) and had kiddie conversations!
It was too cute.
Because we left there late, Sophia fell asleep in the car by the time we got home (even when we transferred car seats
from Junko's car to my car). I really had to bathe her because she had suntan lotion on and her head smelled.
Phil had to rush out of the house to get to his boss' BBQ, so he wasn't around to help me (Olivia was asleep). I quickly
changed out of my clothes and saw Sophia passed out on the floor. She had peed on her clothes and onto the carpet!
From there, it went downhill with her. She was fighting with me in the bathtub and was pissed as hell. It was
a live wrestling match in the tub. I finally got her washed up and dried and sent her off to bed. Oh, and Phil
had an easy time with Olivia.
Sunday, we decided to go out and have breakfast. We invited my mother out after going to two restaurants to
be turned away because they were closed (Phil, brunch does NOT mean they are open at 9a). My parents were planning to
go up north in search of property, so Phil offered to drive them. They took Sophia and I stayed home with Olivia.
I was tired from Saturday's jaunt, so I stayed in and napped (when O napped).
And another tiring weekend to come- we might be heading up north this weekend for a short getaway.
Thursday, August 10, 2006
Classes For Men
Although this does not in any way pertain to my husband, I know there are some
fellas who do need a class like this...hahaha. Enjoy!
FALL CLASSES FOR MEN AT THE LEARNING CENTER FOR ADULTS
REGISTRATION MUST
BE COMPLETED BY Friday August 20, 2006
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS,
CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.
Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays --- Step by Step,
with Slide
Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 2
The
Toilet Paper Roll --- Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.
Class
3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and
Avoid ing The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?
--- Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The
Laundry Hamper and The Floor ---
Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.
Class
5
After Dinner Dishes --- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday
and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
at 7:00 PM
Class 6
Loss Of Identity --- Losing The Remote To Your Significant
Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM
Class 7
Learning How
To Find Things --- Starting With Looking In The Right Places
And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open
Forum .
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.
Class 8
Health Watch --- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics
and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions
When Lost --- Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.
Class 10
Is It Genetically
Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.
Class
11
Learning to Live --- Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing .
Tuesdays at
7:00 PM, location to be determined
Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation
and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 13
How
to Fight Cerebral Atrophy --- Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries
and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going
To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at
7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 14
The Stove/Oven --- What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays
at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.
Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.
Wednesday, August 9, 2006
Tennis Anyone?
After dinner we decided to join Judy, Rolly and their friends for a game of tennis by the East River. I didn't
want to play a game, but just to volley for a few minutes to see if I still have the touch (hee, I do).
The minute we got into the car, I felt my eyes stinging with runny nose. Uh oh I thought...I'm ALSO allergic to
trees! But it wasn't terribly bad for me. At that point, Sophia began sneezing at least ten times within
two minutes. Ahhh shit! How the hell did we forget we couldn't take her to the park WHERE THERE ARE TREES?!
We really need to re-think these things before we go anywhere now.
Tuesday, August 8, 2006
Ahhh-Choo!
Long story short, I switched her pediatrician, which conveniently is also the allergist's office (THANK YOU GRACE!).
She had gotten some tests done on her arm and it turns out-
SHE'S ALLERGIC TO TREES.
So basically the allergy* is causing her to have post-nasal drip which makes her cough and irritate her tonsils.
Don't know what kind of trees yet, more tests are to be done on Friday. I guess that means we won't be living in the
'burbs with a backyard full of trees, huh?
*And thank you PastryDad too.
Fed Up
I am so annoyed right now. Last night, I called Sophia's pediatrician to get a referral from them to see a
throat specialist at an infirmary (for Sophia's enlarged tonsils). The pedia.'s wife who is working the
front desk, tells me they can fax the referral so I don't have to stop by the office to pick it up. Fine.
This morning, Sophia and I rush up to see the throat specialist only to be turned away. BECAUSE WE NEEDED THE FUCKING
REFERRAL. They don't take faxes. Motherfucker. But at least the nurse there was kind enough to tell me once
I get the referral from her pedia., to come through the doors and see her. Ooh, cutting the line. Excellent!
Problem though. The doctor's office does not open until 1p. Uh, that's Sophia's naptime. Now what!
I call the doctor, thinking maybe we can work something out to get the referral from him. So I page him and he returns
my call while we're on the bus ride back home. He goes into this looooooooooong ass spiel about how Sophia should get an x-ray first just to make sure it's not something from her lungs. And after he determines
it's not from her lungs, he'll give an allergy prescription. Now I'm fuming. We've been seeing him TWICE in the past two weeks and this is what he tells
me now? Why didn't he say so the first time?
Then he says he doesn't want me to go to the infirmary because they might send a resident to view her throat.
He wants to make sure Sophia sees the best specialist. Oh, but don't bother going there, there is a doctor who specializes
in throat in the above office from him he says. Geezus motherfucker. Again, why didn't he fucking say so the first
time???
Oh, get this- towards the end of the conversation, he says that he won't be in the office today because he
has a meeting in Brooklyn. Even if I did want that referral from him, he's not gonna go out of his way to come into
Manhattan JUST to give me the referral. What the... I am at the point of dumping his motherfuckin' sorry
ass and switching to another pediatrician. Sometimes I really think he's taking us for a ride. He's going 'round
and 'round, playing the passive/aggressive shit with me, which only infuriates me more.
JUST GIVE ME THE FUCKING REFERRAL YOU PIECE OF SHIT!
Sunday, August 6, 2006
Doc's Office - Round Three
I visited my doc this morning and he prescribed me Biaxin. Hopefully this antibiotics will kick the feckin' virus out of my system once and for all.
As for Sophia, she visited herr pediatrician for the third time in a month. He didn't prescribe anything for her.
He recommended that we bring her to another office to get X-rays done on her. The last thing I want is to put
her little, frail body through radiation so Phil and I actually agreed together to hold off on this. The pediatrician
also commented on Sophia's enlarged tonsils. I'm worried he will tell us her tonsils need be removed. But he told Phil (he took her to the doc's) to
take her out of the city for a couple of days. Maybe the fresh air will help her get better. Last week's hot and
humid weather certainly didn't do any good to any of us. So maybe we'll go away somewhere in the next few weeks.
Don't know where yet.
BTW, I left out on one thing on Olivia. She can hold her milk bottle by herself, BUT she has a tendency to yank
the bottle out of her mouth. So I still have to help her hold it. And shove it back in her mouth. Lil' pig.
Saturday, August 5, 2006
Sick/Update/Shout Out
Just because I've downed antibiotics to kick the throat infection two weeks ago, it didn't mean I was immune to
this virus that's circling around our home. So once again, I am officially sick, coughing yellow-green phlegm.
Patooey.
Several things I need to mention, just for the sake of remembering what baby O does (and what Sophia never did).
My girls are totally opposites:
- O is one helluva violent and strong baby. She literally kicked the shit out of her Aquarium bouncer toy and smashed the fish off the sidebar. Instead of chucking it out, I called Fisher Price to see what
we can get back. We're getting partial money back, yay (it's over two years old hence why we're not getting a full refund)!
And for the record, Sophia was never a big kicker on the bouncer seat.
- O surprisingly, likes to eat her cereal, only if it's mixed with fruits (right now she's eating oatmeal). She
is not a big fan of mixed vegetables though she eats pretty much anything in those baby jars. And in big portions in
the morning. Nanny made jook/congee for her several times and she didn't like it. Sophia was a good eater though she ate smaller portions. And she
ate jook like a good lil girl.
- O looooooves to chew on her toys. Maybe because Sophia had a paci, she never chewed on anything (O is
a thumbsucker).
- When I give O a bath, she loves to turn to her right side or arch her back (to look at the showerhead). That makes
the water go into her right ear. It doesn't phase her at all. Sophia HATES it when the water goes in her ear.
She gets hysterical!
- O is on a schedule- wakes up around 8ish, drinks her milk (5-6 ozs), about 45 minutes later I feed her cereal
with fruits and I plop her in bed about 10:45a. She wakes up around 12:30, 1p. As for her afternoon nap, I haven't
really figured this one out. But I think she plops back down around 4ish and is awake in an hour or so. She
gets tired and cranky around 7:45p, 8p. Bedtime is around 9p.
- Yesterday, my mother and I were encouraging O to crawl. Instead, she moved backwards. Haha, it's a start!
Yay!
- My mother taught O to headbutt her (lightly of course). She says to her, "Gong Heh" and O actually bows her
head to headbutt you! I love baby tricks.
- O is not a huge fan of being on her back. She doesn't really enjoy playing with her gymini. Sophia though, when she was a baby, would lay there for a good amount of time.
- We've finally plopped O in the Maclaren stroller. Sooo much lighter than the Peg Perego.
- O is veeeeeeery ticklish on her back and her neck and her right ribs. Sophia was hardly ticklish. I love to
hear babies laugh...so infectious!
O is supposed to get her 6 month checkup and shots, but because she (we, all) is sick, we'll have to wait until she clears
it out of her system. My guess is that she weighs at least 18-19lbs. The girl is one helluva chunky monkey.
By the way, since Sophia has been out of school for the week (per doctor's orders), we've given her goat's milk instead of regular cow's milk. Why the change? Well, she was losing a substantial amount of weight
because I took her off dairy products (when coughing, you don't eat/drink dairy because it produces more phlegm)
and she wasnn't eating well from her school lunch. From what I understand, goat's milk doesn't irritate the cough, so
it's been helping her put the weight back on. She looks a lot healthy in the tummy area, which is a good sign, but still
skinny for a 3yr old. Most of her 3T clothes have been falling off her waist!
I so need a drink. Soon. When and if I get better (Heather, be prepared for that last minute phone call.
And I love you too!).
And happy birthday to Phil!
Friday, August 4, 2006
Round Two with Pre-K
This morning my mother watched Olivia while Sophia and I visited the "new" school that I was thinking about enrolling
her. When we left, I asked Sophia what she thought of her new school. She says to me, "I no like Teacher
X (meaning, the teacher that she has now)." I said, "I know Sophia, but what do you think about this school?
Do you like it?" She says yes. I ask her if she's going to cry when she goes to school. Ha...we'll
see about that.
The school's tuition is a lot more money, a lot less Asian children (which I like, more diversity is way better!) and
a bit of a distance, but hopefully she'll feel more welcomed and comfortable there.
Wednesday, August 2, 2006
Oh Heaaaaather, Come Hiiiiiiiiither
I'm chatting with Heather on IM about her recent business trip to London (flying in business class too!) and just
living vicariously through her. Meanwhile, I had to bore her with my trials and tribulations of motherhood. She
says this to me, "Motherhood is a thankless job."
She is soooooooo right on the money.
Tuesday, August 1, 2006
So Over It
Didn't I post two weeks ago I came down with an upper respiratory infection? Right? Right? Well guess
what.
I'M COMING DOWN WITH SOMETHING. AGAIN.
The joys of parenting with a child in school.
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