It didn’t really matter what you called him…’John’, ‘Jack’, ‘Jackie’, ‘Uncle Johnny’ or ‘Uncle Jack’…John was the sort of man that had an effect on everybody he met.  He was someone who would lend a hand to a loved one or a stranger alike, and then would disappear before you could even utter the words ‘thank you’.  John didn’t help people because he had to, he helped because it was the right thing to do and he wanted to.  John loved his friends and family so much…You may ask yourself, what kind of man was John?  Perhaps the only way to answer that question is to tell you how he lived.

John was a member of ‘the greatest generation’ that our country ever produced—a generation of heroes and patriots; as such I will always remember John as a man of honor and a man of his word.  John was the oldest of 4 children born to first generation Irish Americans.

As a young man, he dreamed of being a pilot in the Army Air Corps and enlisted at an age that most kids today haven’t even figured out what they want to do with their lives.  At 16 he had to beg his mother to sign his enlistment papers only to be told that Uncle Sam didn’t need any colorblind pilots.  You could almost imagine a mythical, Sergeant O’Reilly making a wise crack and telling John that they didn’t need any Irish guys out there bombing the wrong color planes.  But, imagine for a moment what this must’ve felt like for young John…at 16…do you think he went off and sulked?  Heck no—they wouldn’t give John the first seat in the plane, so he happily took the last—and he was trained and proudly served as a tail gunner.

When he came back home from the Army, he picked up where he left off at work and turned a job candling eggs at Acme Supermarkets into a better job at the warehouse where he would eventually get promoted to manager.  During this time he courted his high school sweetheart. 

She was the love of young John’s life and was his very reason for being, he wrote her often while he was away and he carried a torch for her for a very long time.  A few years later they married and began building a life together when once again, John was offered another setback.  His beloved wife got sick and battled illness for years yet John remained a dedicated, devoted husband and stuck by his first wife with the upbeat charm and optimism that later defined him.    When his wife passed, John was devastated.  As a young man he had everything, family, friends, a great job---and one day that all changed for him.  Yet, John never gave up.  To his family and his friends on the outside John was his usual charming self, but on the inside he was probably very lonely.  In his wife’s memory, John remained very active in the Telephone Pioneers of America—donating his time for charity and helping those less fortunate.

Later on John met the second love of his life, Toni, who he referred to as his beloved  “Angelina”.  Toni and John were the best of friends during the last two decades of his life as they traveled and saw the country---Alaska, the Islands, cross country RV tours and cruises…John spent his retired years visiting the places he had only read about or seen in photos and experienced the wonders of our great country with his best friend.

John was very close to his godchildren, stepchildren and his many nieces and nephews.  Any one of them would tell you that John always had a way of making them feel special, that they always felt as if they were the only people on earth when they were with him.  John took his role as Uncle, godfather & stepfather very seriously.

John was reading and learning until the day he died, and at nearly 82 years old—remained sharp as a tack.  On his nightstand were no fewer than half a dozen books all in some stage of being finished.  John loved civil war history, spy novels, war movies, trains, music and coin collecting.  If you could find a book that has some combination of all of those factors you could rest assured that John already read it. 

John was not exactly known for his cooking, but he did have a signature dish that we never thought he could get my brother Michael to like.  John could make a version of pea soup that was so dense that you could literally stand your spoon upright in the bowl, it was the best and I must say has forever changed my brother’s opinion of the stuff. 

John had a profound impact on everybody who was lucky enough to meet him.  Whether you knew him all of his life or just met him you would describe him as “a great guy”.  He would always put others needs in front of his own, even for those he barely knew.

John had a love of life and celebrated every day on earth.  He really knew how to appreciate even the smallest things in life.   I’ll never forget one day as I was carrying bags to and from my car and I saw John just sitting there and staring up at the sky during a storm just appreciating the beauty of lightning skipping across the sky.  That day John made me realize that sometimes you have to stop your busy day and take a moment to look up and appreciate the things in life that we often take for granted.

Whenever John would come over, I’d ask ‘John what type of wine would you like?’ and his response was always  ‘Ah, whatever ya got open.’ Have you ever noticed that John’s favorite wine was whatever the favorite wine of the person he was sharing the bottle with?  When he was with me, his favorite wine was Merlot, with my sister his favorite wine was Cabernet Sauvignon, with his sister, it was Shiraz.  I wonder if John actually had a favorite type of wine, or if the mere act of sharing the bottle with loved ones was what he enjoyed most. 

John was part of a generation where respect and family values were paramount.  He held certain beliefs that to kids growing up in the 70’s, 80’s and 90’s may have seemed outdated, like: ‘No hats in the house’ or ‘No two people are sleeping in the same bed in my house, if they’re not married.’ I’ve later come to respect John’s rules and now deeply admire his well-grounded value system, which guided him through his life.

When I was younger, and John started dating my mom; he was inheriting four kids between the ages of 16 and 27.  Gradually stepping into this role must’ve been overwhelming for a man as calm and collected as John is known to be.  Asking a man like John to make a home with kids like Toni’s couldn’t have been easy. But he had plenty of practice with his nieces and nephews and his godchildren.  But John took on the role, at first—not to be a father…but just to be a decent and loving husband.  What this role eventually morphed into was more than he bargained for, and probably more than he would ever know…the role was that of a father.  If you are one of those of who think that your Uncle Jack never had kids-you are mistaken, John had 4 kids and those kids had two fathers.

For those of you that want some insight into the love shared between Toni and John, I’d like to share some of Mom’s words with you. She wrote this after coming home from one of their cross-country trips:

“We did see a lot of stuff between Wyoming and home but the camera was packed away.  But, the memories of this trip will be in my mind forever.  What we saw cannot truly be captured in a picture.  What we felt cannot truly be captured in a picture.  These are just reminders to bring back what we had experienced.  Without John this trip would have been a failure, and without John I would have no one to share this with.  I can drive, but not navigate.  Without John I would still be somewhere on some road without direction.  John was and is my friend, my pleasure, my light, my patience finder and my NAVIGATOR.”

John’s legacy would best be served if we all lived our lives as he did…with generosity, patience, love, morality, and pride. That is the best way to honor such a great man.  Please do your best to live like John did, every day full of life and zest and thirst for knowledge and always appreciating life’s little wonders.  Do what you can to pass John’s lessons on to those that you love.

Me?  I am living my life like John did. Happy go lucky, calm and patient two fingers of Scotch and just a splash of water…after that I’ll have a glass of red wine.  We all love you John….as a devoted husband, a big brother, a proud soldier, an Uncle, a father to 4, and even Grandpa. We all love you so much John and are so sad to see you go, but we will carry on living our lives just as you did…happy…full of life and energy, and with a smile our faces…until the very last day that we are here on earth.   John made such a lasting impression on everybody that he met that even though he is no longer physically with us, he will forever live on in our hearts and in our minds.