The next several nights were not easy for Shuten. Though he had gotten Myranda to promise not to bake in the middle of the night anymore, she found other ways to keep herself from sleeping. He caught her alphabetizing her library by subject the following evening and the night after that she was reorganizing the kitchen cupboards.

It wasn’t until Mia and Rajura arrived that she finally ceased her out of character behavior. Shuten threatening to sleep on the couch had also helped her.

At Avery’s wake Myranda noticed the engagement ring on Mia’s hand and looking for a distraction asked when the wedding was. Mia said that they hadn’t set a date yet but would let her know as soon as they did.  She also invited Myranda to come and stay with them if she wanted some time away.

~~~~~~~~

Avery’s funeral was fitting for one of New York’s finest. Myranda held up well through the entire process. Remy was seated on her left with Rogue next to him and Shuten on her right followed by Mia and Rajura.

She almost broke down when Joe and Hito handed the folded flag that had been across Avery’s coffin. If it wasn’t for their encouraging smiles she probably would have.

People were invited back to Myranda and Avery’s apartment after the funeral to pay their final respects.

Myranda endured the gathering for as long as she could but the well wishers and people who were trying to get her to eat something were beginning to grate on her nerves. When she thought no one was looking, she walked out and went up to the roof. She could see into the cemetery from there. A light rain had started but she didn’t care if she got wet. She just wanted to be alone for a little while.

Shuten watched her leave he knew where she was going. She had told him a long time ago that the roof was her secret place where she went to think. He thought about going after her then decided that she most likely wanted to be alone for a while.

Twenty minutes went by and the rain became heavier when Myranda didn’t return, Shuten decided to go and try to coax her in. He informed Mia and Rajura before grabbing an umbrella and heading up to the roof himself.

Shuten found Myranda standing at the far side of the roof looking down into the cemetery. He walked up behind her to cover her with the umbrella but wasn’t quite sure what to say.

Myranda quickly remedied that. “I don’t care what you say, Remy. I’m not coming in until I’m good and ready to.” She said sharply without turning around.

“It’s not Remy.” He replied quietly.

Myranda paused before replying. “That goes for you too, Shuten.” Though her voice had lost most of its bite.

“Then I’ll quietly wait for you.”

Myranda could tell by his polite yet no nonsense tone that he wasn’t going to budge until she did being the damned stubborn bull that he could be. But truth be told, she’d rather deal with Shuten then her brother. Remy would have continuously plagued her with reasons to come in where Shuten had a lot more patience and would respect her wishes.

Another fifteen minutes went by when Myranda mumbled. “Damn it Avery. Part of me wishes I was dead too so I could yell at you.”

Shuten wondered why she was angry with Avery. In all the years he’d known them he never saw the two of them fight. They would argue from time to time but it was never a full-fledged clash. His heart went out to her, he’d never seen her so sad.

He chose his words carefully. “Please don’t wish for that, Myranda. Everyone here grieves with you, it would be too much to bear if we had to grieve over you as well.”

Myranda was so engulfed in her own world that she had forgotten that Shuten was even there. “I have no desire to sadden anyone any further, Shuten. I won’t do anything stupid no matter how jumbled my mind is right now.”

“I never thought you would.”  The wind had started to pick up blowing rain in every direction and it was beginning to get dark. “The weather is getting worse.”

Myranda sighed. “I know.”

He thought she sounded defeated and exhausted. “Do you want to avoid all the company?”

“If one more person tells me how sorry they are I think I’ll have a nervous breakdown.”

“There really aren’t that many people left. I believe it’s just Mia, Rajura, your brother and a few X-men. I don’t think any of them would mind if you just went to your room.”

“I suppose your right, Shuten.”

Shuten removed his coat and draped it over her shoulders to try and keep her from getting any wetter.

When the two arrived at the front door Myranda finally worked up the courage to look up at Shuten. “You’re as soaked as I am. Come on, I’ll get you a towel.”

Shuten was going to decline but he saw the need for her to distract herself in her eyes. He reluctantly followed her into her room.

She went into the bathroom and came out with two towels. She handed one to Shuten as she headed towards the closet. She hung his coat on the corner of the closet door as she walked in. She came out moments later with some clothing.

“Here.” She said as she held out a shirt, some sweat pants and a pair of socks.

“Myranda…” He grew uncomfortable knowing they were Avery’s clothes.

“You were going to ask me to change into something dry, were you not?”

“Well, yes, but…”

Sensing why he was feeling so hesitant to take the clothes she said. “It’s all right Shuten, really. Avery wouldn’t want you to catch pneumonia because of me no more than I would. Besides, I know you only packed for a few days.” She slightly shook the items to urge him to take them.

Reluctantly, he took them from her. “Thank you.” He said timidly.

“I’ll be right back.” Myranda said then went into the bathroom with her change of clothes. She stuck a hanger on the doorknob outside and told Shuten to hang his clothes on it.

She emerged a few minutes later in black sweats with a matching hooded sweatshirt. She took Shuten’s wet clothes and hung them in the shower.

“Myranda you look exhausted.” Shuten said quietly.

Myranda just shook her head. “I’m far beyond exhausted, Shuten.”

“Why don’t you try to get some sleep?” He suggested.

“I can’t.” She replied as she slumped down on the corner of the chaise lounge. “If I sleep, I dream and it’s the same dream over and over again. It’s still so fresh in my mind; I don’t need to see it in my sleep too.”

Shuten knew that by dream she meant nightmare. “I understand but depriving yourself of sleep isn’t healthy Myranda. It’s only going to make things worse.”

“I’m afraid there’s no help for that right now. I feel so numb that even reality seems like a bad dream that I can’t wake up from.”

Shuten sat behind her on the arm of the chair. “I wish there was something I could do to help you.”

“You’re helping, just by sitting here with me.”

There was a knock at the door.

“It’s open she called out.”

Remy poked his head in then opened the door all the way so he and Mia could come in.

“You all right petite?”

She ignored his question. “Has our company left yet?”

“For de most part. Kitty, Jean and Ororo are getting ready to go. Dey wanted to say goodbye before dey left. Where’d you go anyway?”

“I was up on the roof until Shuten came to persuade me to come back in. I didn’t want to deal with any more well wishers so I sort of ran away. I’m sorry if I worried either of you.”

“It’s okay. Today wasn’t easy.”

Mia sat down next to her. “Is there anything I can do for you, Myranda?”

“Thanks Mia but I fear no one can do anything for me right now.”

Mia hugged her in response not knowing what else to say.

“So, Shuten tells me he is going to stay a few more days to help out.” Mia said

Myranda nodded. “I’m surprised that he isn’t sick of being trapped at home by now.”

“And what do you mean by that?” He asked sounding a little hurt.

“There are lots of things to do in the city at night; you should get out even if it’s for a little while. You've been stuck in here with me for days now.”

“Are you trying to get rid of me?” Shuten said raising a brow in mock annoyance.

“Not at all, I just don’t think it’s fair to you is all.”

Shuten sighed. “Myranda, if it wasn’t for you I wouldn’t be here right now. Don’t you think this is the least I can do for you?”

“Shuten…I.”

“No excuses. My mind is made up. Now let’s go say goodbye to your friends.”

Myranda mumbled under her breath. ‘Stubborn bull.’

“I heard that.” Shuten said in a teasing manor.

“You were supposed to.” She replied on a sigh.

Remy just smiled in amusement. Shuten obviously knew Myranda well. Remy then turned to his sister and held out his hand to help her up. “Come on sis.”

She looked at the clock as she stood and turned to Mia. “You and Rajura had better get going too or you’ll be late for your show.”

“I feel bad going out to a show when you’re feeling so down.”

“Hey I want you to go and have a good time, besides I couldn’t have a more loyal watchdog to stay with me. I’ll be fine.”

Mia smiled up at Shuten. “True enough.”

The three followed Myranda out into the main part of the loft where her friends were waiting. She thanked them all for cleaning up and hugged them goodbye. Remy told them that he and Rogue would be down in a minute.

Remy turned to Myranda. “Try and get some rest, would ya sis?”

Myranda nodded. “I’ll try but no promises.”

He gave her an encouraging smile before he and Rogue hugged her and left.

Rajura was waiting at the door with Mia’s coat. He was never one to be late. Though he did look to Myranda and ask. “Are you sure you don’t want us to stay in with you tonight?”

“You’ll disappoint me if you don’t take advantage of my engagement present and Mia can tell you that I don’t like it when people disappoint me.”

“All right, but will be back right after the show.”

“No you will not. I want you both to have fun for me, all right?”

“Just agree, Rajura.” Mia said. “She won’t let it go if you don’t.”

Rajura frowned. “Hmm reminds me of someone else I know.” He said before sighing.

“All right Myranda you win.”

Myranda smiled. “Thank you.”

Mia and Rajura hugged Myranda before they left.

Trying to make small talk, Shuten said. “You realize that Rajura was referring to me?”

Myranda chuckled. “Of course I do.”

“So would you like some tea to take the chill away?” She offered.

“I can get it go and sit down.” He said as he went into the kitchen.

“You must have connections in order to get tickets so quickly.”

Myranda fell back on the sofa so she could look up at him. “Don’t you dare tell her but I got them two months ago. And I didn’t want to see them go to waste.”

“Sorry.”

“Avery didn’t want to go anyway.” She laughed sarcastically. “Heck of a way for him to get out of it.”

Shuten didn’t reply for there was no right answer. He just took the kettle from the stove to make the tea.

“This must be as much fun as watching paint dry for you.” She said.

His features softened but Myranda could still see a glimmer of pride in his eyes. “Myranda, you’re my friend. I’m not going to walk away from you when you’re at your worst.”

“Thanks.” She said as she stifled a yawn.

“Do you want to try and get some rest?”

“We’ve all ready been through that, Shuten.”

“Do you want to talk?”

“We are talking.”

He frowned at her as he came over carrying the tea and cups. “Don’t be obtuse you know what I mean.”

She knew all right. “I wouldn’t know where to start.” She said sitting up again.

Shuten placed the tray on the table and sat next to her. “Why don’t you tell me why you’re mad at Avery?”

She wouldn’t look at him. “I’m not mad, I’m just a little upset with him.” She took a deep breath before explaining. “I know that he must have had a premonition. He was acting a bit strange for the past few months. I was hurt that he didn’t tell me. That’s why I wanted to yell at him.”

“He knows you well, Myranda. I’m sure he just didn’t want you to spend the rest of your time together worrying and waiting for it to happen.”

“He never kept anything from me before, Shuten.”

“Can you say that the last several months you spent together would have been any better if you had known?”

“I’ll never know. Will I?” She snapped. “If he had told me I might have been able to stop it from happening.”

Shuten didn’t react to her sudden outburst. She was grieving and her emotions were a jumbled mess. “You’re grasping at straws Myranda. Unfortunately no one can change the fate they are dealt.”

The tears were going to start and she knew she couldn’t stop them. She started to rise but Shuten grabbed her wrist.

“Let me go, Shuten.” She whispered brokenly.

“No.” He said softly.

“You despise tears, so let me go.”

“True enough but I’ll make an exception for you. You’ve held them back for far too long and Avery wouldn’t want you to be alone when you’re this upset.”

Shuten put his arm around her and she broke down completely. His heart ached for her. Myranda did not deserve to feel like this and he felt helpless not being able to make her pain go away. Consoling was all he was able to do. He gathered her into his arms and she clung to him as she buried her face in his chest.

“I’m sorry Shuten. I know how much you hate this.”

Shuten pulled her closer as he shushed her. He rested his chin atop her head and stroked the hair the fell down her back. “You need to get this out. So go right ahead, I’m going to miss him too.”

Myranda cried until her tears were spent. Even though she wasn’t feeling better she was going to tell Shuten that she was but then decided against it. She gave in to selfishness, which was completely out of the ordinary for her. However she hadn’t felt this safe or comforted in days and she didn’t want it to end. And she was tired, so very tired. She closed her eyes and fell asleep to the slow, steady and calming sound of Shuten’s heartbeat.

When Shuten felt her breathing become shallow and even, he knew she was asleep. He waited a while before getting up and tucking her into bed. She reached out in her sleep as soon as he let go of her.

Shuten shushed her again as he placed the covers over her. “Shh. I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be right in the chair if you need me.”

That seemed to calm her as she turned on her side facing him. Shuten brushed the hair from her face before sitting in the club chair next to the bed and shutting the light off. Shuten watched her sleeping for a long while before shifting in the chair and closing his own eyes to get some much needed rest of his own.

A few hours later there was a light knock at the door. Both being exhausted, neither Myranda nor Shuten heard it. The door opened slowly and Mia poked her head in to assess the situation. She was pleased to see that her friend was finally getting some much needed sleep and that Shuten hadn’t left her side. She smiled remembering what Rajura had told her about Shuten; that if he was anything, he was loyal to those he cared about.

She quietly stepped in and took the blanket at the foot of the bed and placed it over Shuten who immediately cracked one eye open and ready to battle whoever had just intruded.

She placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.” Mia whispered. “I’m glad you were able to get her to sleep.”

Shuten shrugged. “She did it all on her own. How was the show?”

“It was good. I think I would have enjoyed it more if I wasn’t worrying about
Myranda half the night.”

“She will heal. It will take time but she will.”

“I’ve asked her to come and visit when she feels up to it.”

“I think that would help her a lot, Mia. Between the five of us I’m sure we can keep her mind off of things.”  

“I’ll ask her again in the morning then.” She studied his face. “Go get some rest Shuten. You look exhausted.”

“As wonderful as a bed sounds right now I’m going to stay in here for tonight. I promised her I wouldn’t leave.”

Mia chuckled. “No denying that your trait is loyalty.” She stood. “All right suit yourself. We’ll see you in the morning.”

The two bid one another goodnight as Shuten settled back into the chair. He took one last look at Myranda before closing his eyes and going back to sleep.

Myranda awoke the next morning and out of habit turned to her left to snuggle up to Avery. Then she remembered that Avery would no longer be there. ‘God, I’ll never get used to this.’ She said to herself.

It was then that she saw Shuten asleep in the chair. She smiled in appreciation at him.  She was honored and touched that Shuten would stay with her all night. He was always a good friend to her and his unselfish act had earned him an even bigger place in her heart.

She did her best to be quiet as she got a change of clothes out of the closet and went into the bathroom to shower. Shuten didn’t even twitch as she silently went through her morning routine he was obviously exhausted.  

She felt guilty knowing it was most likely her fault that he was so wiped out. He was just starting to awaken when she came out of the bathroom.

She sat at the edge of the bed and smiled. “Morning.” She greeted him with a small smile.

Shuten cracked open one eye then the other when the memories of the day before came into his sleep filled mind.

He returned her light smile. “You look well rested.”

“Wish I could say the same about you. Sorry if I kept you up for half the night.”

“You didn’t. I just need a minute to get my thoughts together.”

“I’m next to useless until I get a cup of coffee in me.” She looked over at the clock.

“I should get some brewing before Mia and Rajura get up. What do you feel like having for breakfast?”

“Anything is fine. I’ll help you as soon as I take a shower.”

“I can handle it.” She said as she stood. “I’ll see you shortly.”

Myranda was about to shut the door behind her when she shyly called to him. “Shuten.”

Shuten looked up at her questioningly.

“Thanks for staying with me last night.” She shut the door before Shuten could reply.

Shuten joined the others at the breakfast table a short time later. Myranda was already on her second cup of coffee while she argued with Rajura that she wasn’t hungry.

Mia took pity on her friend and interrupted asking Myranda if she had given any thought to coming for a visit. Myranda decided that it would be good to get away for a while and said she would come out for a couple of weeks once she had taken care of all of her prior commitments.

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